Author: mmccullum

God Cares About the Small Stuff Too

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Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.  -Psalm 139:23-24

We recently turned the page on our wall calendar and find ourselves in August.  My boys are still in denial about school starting at the end of this month despite the fact that “Back to School” ads are flooding our mailbox daily. I’ve never been a big fan of the ramp up to school and my mind churns at night with all of the things I have to do:  arranging sports carpools, filling in dates on my calendar, scheduling appointments, buying needed supplies, sifting through closets and drawers… the list is endless.  I can spend hours thinking through logistics and trying to make arrangements.

Recently I was having a conversation with another mom who was feeling a bit overwhelmed about the start of school.  A few carefully arranged plans she’d made for the school year had fallen apart unexpectedly and she was frantically trying to re-group.  I spent some time listening to her lament and trying to encourage her.  When I went home that night, I sent her a short e-mail.

“I know logistics and planning can be overwhelming at times.  One thing I’ve learned is that if I’m thinking about it, God wants to hear about it.  My default mode is to worry instead of trusting God with my problem.  I’m try to trust God more with all of my logistical details and watch to see how He works them out.”

She responded with a thought I’ve heard echoed many times in the past.  “I guess I just feel like it’s selfish to ask God about the small stuff.  I should be able to work it out on my own instead of wasting His time.”

Let me be perfectly clear on this.  The notion that God has limited time is absurd.  He exists outside the boundaries of time and always has enough for all of us all the time.  He’s never overwhelmed.  He’s never in a hurry.  Need some Biblical proof?  Check out this passage from 2 Peter 3:8-

“But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.”

God delights in us when we admit that we need Him- even for the small stuff.  The myth of self-sufficiency and personal control keeps us from trusting God in so many places in our lives.  God cares about every detail of our lives—even carpools, school schedules and frustrations at work.

“Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”   Matthew 10:29-31

IMG_5665Can you count how many strands of hair there are on these two heads?  (Yeah, me neither– and I look at them every day!!)IMG_5659I’m learning that when I pray about my logistical frustrations, I’m more at peace with the way things unfold.  Instead of telling God how He should work in a situation, I rely on Him to resolve it according to His will and thank Him that He is trustworthy.  That way, no matter how the situation ends up, I know that it has happened for a reason and I look for the ways God wants to use it in my life.  It’s easier to recognize His hand in a situation when I’ve laid it at His feet in advance.

Praying about my frustrations doesn’t always mean that God answers the way I want or expect.  However, I’m much more apt to accept less-than-favorable outcomes and to look for the ways God is using them in my life.   When my kids don’t get the teachers or coaches I was hoping for I remind myself that God has a reason and I have to trust Him for it.   When I don’t end up with a close friend in my small group at Bible Study, I’ve learned to trust that God has a plan instead of getting indignant.  When the carpool doesn’t work out, I try to enjoy the one-on-one time with one of my sons on the way to practice.  And when my plate is simply too full, I’m learning to see the things God wants me to clear off of it.

Being anxious and trying to orchestrate every detail and logistic just wastes energy and causes angst.   I think Paul must’ve known this when he penned these verses:

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-8

The passage admonishes us not to be anxious about anything.  It also says that in every situation we can thank God for how He’s going to work it out.  Once we lay it before Him, we’re freed up to experience His peace and to wait for Him to work.  When we feel anxiety creeping in, we need to stop and pray: “Guard my heart and mind, God.”

In case you’re still struggling with the idea that God doesn’t want to be bothered with the details, take a minute to think about your own children (if you have them) or your parents.  Loving parents care about the smallest details in their children’s lives.    God cares about details in your life the same way.

The Bible often refers to God as our “Abba,” which is simply the Hebrew way to say “Daddy.”   We are his children, whom He loves and cherishes.  No logistical detail is too small to escape His attention.

“For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.”  The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.”  Romans 8:14-16

It seems like I have a new challenge to trust God with every day.  I have a hard time applying what I’ve written about, but God keeps reminding me to come back after I’ve become too overwhelmed trying to do things on my own.

If you can relate to the August Angst I’m feeling, chime in and share how God is at work in your life through it.

Christians Never Have to Say Goodbye

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Kristi and me in Inverness, Scotland 1991

I wrote a blog about heaven this past December called “Traveling Light with and Eye Towards Home.”  In it, I recounted the story of backpacking in Europe with my friend, Kristi.  What I didn’t mention in that posting was that Kristi was in remission after a nine-month battle with breast cancer.  We didn’t know that it was only a temporary reprieve.  The cancer returned with a vengeance in March of this year.  I had no idea that my blog on heaven would become so relevant so soon.

As Kristi’s health declined, I longed to see her face-to-face and prayed God would show me the right timing to make a trip to her home in Texas.   We’d talked, texted and e-mailed regularly throughout her illness, but it just wasn’t the same as being with her.  At the end of April the timing was right and after getting the green light from Kristi and her husband, I booked a flight to Austin.  Traveling alone, I had some good time to prepare myself emotionally and spiritually.  I also had a number of friends and family supporting me with prayer at home.  I asked God to use me to bless and encourage Kristi and her family.  I was anxious about seeing my spunky friend sick and wondering how the weekend would go.

When I finally arrived at her house, Kristi greeted me warmly and maneuvered across the room to give me a hug. She wore a headscarf and gingerly pushed a walker but her broad smile and cheerful spirit remained intact.  In fact, I was amazed at the amount of things we did over the course of the weekend considering Kristi’s frailty.   Her family was bound and determined to give me a full “Lone Star State Experience” when they found out I’d never been there before.  So, in spite of going to give them help, I got a big dose of Texas hospitality in return.

On Saturday morning I sat with Kristi at a hometown parade watching three of her four kids smiling and waving from one of the floats.  Afterwards, I experienced my first Texas thunderstorm- a two-hour deluge unlike anything we have in California.   I spent a quiet afternoon organizing Tupperware in the kitchen after painting Kristi’s toenails metallic blue (she was in desperate need of a pedicure).  While she was resting, her 6 year-old son appeared in the doorway dressed as Captain America and glumly declared “I’m bored.” As any mom would, I countered “How about showing me some of your toys?”  Thanks to my boys, I knew a thing or two about comic book heroes and Lego mini figures, which earned me serious status as I sat playing with him.  That evening I tasted my first “Texas Barbeque” without a plate or utensils at Rudy’s (a combination of a restaurant and gas station).

Sunday morning I was in charge of loading Kristi’s wheelchair into their Suburban and driving the family to church while her husband competed in a triathlon.   Later that afternoon we attended a family reunion in an adobe house that was over 100 years old.   It was a fun and busy weekend filled with moments of laughter and light-heartedness- definitely not what I was anticipating.

On Sunday morning after church, Kristi and I had a rare moment alone at the house.  Feeling prompted by the Holy Spirit, I asked if I could share Psalm 34 with her, which I’d read in Jesus Calling earlier that morning.  It seemed to fit her circumstances perfectly (funny how the Bible does that…):

“I will extol the Lord at all times;
 his praise will always be on my lips.

I will glory in the Lord; let the afflicted hear and rejoice.

Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt his name together.

I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.

Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.

This poor man called, and the Lord heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles.

The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him,
and he delivers them.

Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.

Fear the Lord, you his holy people, for those who fear him lack nothing.

The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing…The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.  The Lord is close to the brokenhearted 
and saves those who are crushed in spirit”  (Verses 1-10, 17-18).

Later, before leaving for the airport, I found another quiet moment with Kristi and her husband.  It was a blessing and privilege it was to lay hands on them to pray after being apart for the duration of her battle with cancer.  I left feeling at peace, so glad for the time we’d spent together and not entirely sure it was the last time I’d see Kristi in this life.  It seemed like she still had a lot of fight left in he and the family had definitely not given up hope.

As school let out in June, I received word that Kristi’s cancer was spreading and her doctors had run out of viable options for her. I was so glad I’d traveled to see her, but felt I had one more thing to do that I’d been avoiding.  So, I sat at the computer one afternoon and wrote Kristi a letter.  I’d been overwhelmed thinking of how to sum up a friendship that began when we were in 8th grade and spanned so many years.  We’d experienced so much of life together, how could I capture that in a few pages?  With the Holy Spirit guiding me, I wrote a simple letter and sent it with a CD of songs to encourage Kristi and her family.   Here is an excerpt from that letter:

In spite of all these milestone moments we’ve shared, I think the one that means the most to me happened over the course of summer and fall in 1988.  Newly graduated from high school, we both launched in different directions with the same purpose:  working at Christian camps to serve, grow and (of course) have fun.   Working at Houseboats was transformational to my faith and my life choices.  I remember coming home so excited that I finally really “got” my faith and loved God in a way I never really had before.  Returning to life and friends at home was hard and I felt like a stranger in a strange land.   Most people outside my family looked at me like I’d gone a little crazy from being around so many Christians for so long. 

The one exception to this was you.  I can remember talking to you and hearing about your experience at Redwood Camp and realizing that we had both had life-changing and faith-changing experiences that would forever alter the courses of our lives.  I can’t tell you what a relief it was for me to discover that I was not alone and that there was someone who understood the choices I was making and affirmed me for them.  A deeper bond grew between us from that day forward.  Our friendship wasn’t just based on fun times and shared memories, but on a passionate love for Jesus and a desire to follow Him with our lives.

As we headed off to college, we were both set on finding Christian friends and plugging into ministries at our new schools.  Like most of our friends, we both chose to join sororities.  Although the social scene was familiar to us, it felt a bit different now that we’d fully committed to God and were not “riding the fence” as we had in high school days. 

For me, this proved to be pretty challenging at first.  I can remember struggling to find Christian friends among my peers in the Greek System.  As a freshman, I wanted to fit in and make new friends. I called you for some encouragement and you admonished me not to fall back into the lukewarm waters of our high school years and to stand firm in my faith.  You told me it was good for me to stand out as different and pointed out that this could be a great avenue for sharing my faith with a group of people who desperately needed to hear the truth.  I can remember thinking “Wow, God has really given her a strength and conviction that are pretty amazing.”  I don’t know if I ever really told you, but that “pep talk” gave me the courage to press on, to be different and to be a light in a dark place.

If I’ve never said it before, let me say it now:  Kristi, thank you for being a voice of Truth when I needed it most.  The impact you had on me at that time made a significant difference in my life choices.  I’ll never forget your words of encouragement that day or in the days that followed.

Thank you for your partnership in the gospel for these many long years.  I rejoice knowing we will spend eternity praising Him together.

“I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers…I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 1:3a-6

Kristi’s husband read the letter to her on Friday, June 28th.  I’m so glad I responded to the Spirit’s prompting to write it.  On July 2, I received word that my sweet friend breathed her last with her husband at her side.  She was freed from her broken body and finally at home in heaven.

A week after receiving this news, I had a dream about Kristi.  We were having a conversation and sharing some final moments together.  I don’t remember the words, but there was a feeling of warmth and peace between us.  She was smiling, confident and reassuring.   Moments later I awoke in the dark and realized I wasn’t just crying in my dream, but in reality.  As I sat up to wipe away the tears and blow my nose, I felt the relief of emotional release. Adjusting to this new reality has been hard; the sadness churns in me but tears have not flowed very freely.

I am still processing this huge loss, yet there is a peace in me that is deeper still.  Kristi lived every moment pointing people to Jesus until she took her final breath.  The faith and trust she and her family showed in her last 15 months impacted countless people and opened their eyes to God’s saving grace.   He used their hard circumstances to bring about much good in their lives and the lives of many others.

I walk in confidence knowing that I will see Kristi again.  I’ll paraphrase C.S. Lewis’ sentiments from the book A Severe Mercy by Sheldon Vanauken:  Christians never have to say “Goodbye”, only, “Until we meet again.”

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Georgetown, Texas 2013

True vs. Truth

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On June 13, my identity as an Elementary School mom officially ended when my youngest son finished his last day of 5th grade.  During a special breakfast honoring all the “graduates” parents lined the walls of the cafeteria as the kids ate and we all watched a DVD of pictures from their elementary years.  Tears welled up in my eyes as a photo of my son in Kindergarten showed on the screen.  His sweet round face and his smile revealing a missing tooth made my heart ache.

After the party, parents lingered to clean up and share a few moments reflecting on how quickly the years had flown.  The activities that have been woven into the fabric of our lives are now cherished memories:  chaperoning field trips, attending special performances, receiving construction paper projects, displaying clay creations, teaching art lessons, leading reading groups, helping at math stations, and chatting with the crossing guards and other parents on the way to school are all part of our family history now.  They are no longer a present reality.

All of this nostalgia could lead me down a dangerous path of negative thinking.  I could spend so much time thinking about all of the things that will never happen again that I could miss out on embracing this new season my family is entering.  I have two boys on the brink of entering high school and middle school.  So, while it’s true that my kids are older and I won’t be as “hands on” with their schooling, the truth is that I have not lost relevance in their worlds.  I am still very much needed and wanted.

True vs. truth:  it’s a concept that I’ve been thinking about for the last few days as I’ve been working through a new Bible Study book this summer called No Other Gods by Kelly Minter.  She uses the story of Adam and Eve to drive home some powerful observations about what happens when we fixate on isolated things that are “true” but fail to see the larger context of Truth (with a capital “T”).  In case you need a refresher, here’s the story from Genesis 3:

Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”

            The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”

             “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

            When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig  leaves together and made coverings for themselves.

            Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”

            He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”

            And he said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?”

            The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”

            Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?”

            The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

Minter points out that while the serpent did deceive Eve, nothing he said was false in that immediate moment:  they did gain knowledge of good and evil and they did not die immediately (although their disobedience did ultimately bring death into the world).  She quotes Michael Wells of Abiding Life Ministries who says, “Satan will tell us what’s true, but he never tells us the truth.”

I’ve been thinking about that quote all week.  How often do I fixate on what is “true” in the moment, but fail to see the bigger Truth?

There are many times when I let what is true in the moment deceive me and prevent me from seeing the bigger picture.   I can lose perspective when a friend unintentionally hurts me, or when the scale doesn’t show the weight I expect to see.  It might be an unanticipated expense that threatens my confidence in God’s provision.  It could be something big like the news I learned this week: a close friend from high school has been put on hospice care and will soon be going home to Heaven.  It’s true that I am deeply saddened, but the greater Truth is that she has eternal life in Christ and gets to meet Him face to face very soon.   The opportunities to focus on the little “t” and the big “T” are endless.

Armed with my new knowledge of discerning the difference between what is “true” and what is “Truth,” I pray that I will not be so easily deceived.  I don’t want to get so wrapped up in the small things that I fail to recognize the big picture.    Jesus tells us in John 16:33  “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world.”

Now that’s Truth with a capital “T” that I can believe, no matter what.

Click on the links below to hear two of my favorite songs that show the difference between what is “true” and what is “Truth.”

“Remind Me Who I Am” by Jason Gray

“Never Been Unloved” by Michael W. Smith

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-m9PejEieY

Swimming Against the Current

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“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:12-14).

Pushing our paddle surfboards off the wet sand, my husband turned to me, “Which way do you want to go, right or left?”

Studying the ripples on the water in the early morning light I eased onto my board and let the current carry me for a moment before answering decisively, “Let’s go right.  That way we’ll be paddling into the breeze and against the current.  It will make the trip back easier when we’re tired.”

It was hard work as we bent our knees, dug in our paddles and slowly made our way through the harbor.  Every muscle in my body was flexed, poised to keep me firmly balanced standing on the board and skimming through the water.  I had no desire to take a spill and get wet in the early morning chill.

As we rounded the tip of Balboa Island for the return trip, we reaped the benefit of our choice to do the hard part first.  We slipped along with the current, feeling like we had the strength of superheroes.  With each stroke of the paddle we made significant progress and could look up and enjoy the sights and sounds all around us in the Newport Harbor.

Skidding onto the cool, wet sand as we returned, I thought about how often our walks of faith mirror what I’d just experienced out on the water.  Sometimes making choices to lead a godly life feels like a fight to swim against the current of the world around us.  Spending time with people who don’t value the things of God can make following Him with our daily life choices a challenge.  When we feel like we have to go it alone, it can be a lot like I felt paddling against the current and into a head wind.  It’s a grueling effort, but the Bible tells us it’s worth it:

“Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever” (1 John 2:15-17).

When we persevere, we grow in numerous ways.  There is probably no faster means for growth than clinging to God in the midst of adversity:  “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:2-4).

When we choose to “go with the flow” and let the current sweep us along with the actions and attitudes in popular culture, we’ll find our spiritual disciplines slipping and our infrequent times with God becoming stale and dry.  It is impossible to remain solidly planted in one place spiritually; we will either be swept with the current of the world around or make an effort to paddle against it.

Conversely, there may also be times in life when following God seems easy and fun.  We feel His strength flowing through us as each dip of the paddle into the water propels us forward at an amazing rate.  I liken this to times when we are connected consistently with other Christians and are studying God’s word, worshiping and serving together.  We feel energized and excited as we watch God work among us and are motivated to want more of Him in our lives.

Summer is a season when most organized Bible Studies take a break.  As people scatter for travel or other activities, they tend to put their time in God’s word on the back burner.  It’s still a priority, but not something they tend to with the same diligence.  While rest and rejuvenation are part of God’s desire for our lives, taking a “vacation” from Him or His Word is not.  Many people experience serious spiritual “slippage” in the summer as they focus their attention elsewhere and leave God out of the mix.  Let me encourage you not to be one of those people.

Summer can be a great time to explore a concept that you’ve been wanting to know more about, to read that book that’s been gathering dust on your shelf or to review the study you didn’t have time to savor during the fast pace of the year.  Below are a few ideas to keep you engaged and to help you paddle against the current so that you can continue to build your “spiritual muscles” and experience the rich and full life God has for you, no matter what season it is.

-Pick your favorite Bible Study from the past year and reread it chapter by chapter throughout the summer.  Write down a list of things you want to remember that you learned from it to help you solidify them and apply them to your life.

-Choose a Christian book to read this summer.  Invite a friend to read it with you.  You can even set up a reading schedule to discuss it over coffee or lunch on the weeks you’re both in town.  Here are few suggestions to get you started:

One Thousand Gifts by Ann VosKamp

Seven by Jen Hatmaker

A Confident Heart by Renee Swope

A Different Kind of Wild by Debbie Alsdorf

Unglued by Lysa TerKeurst

 The Me I Want to Be by John Ortberg

Strong Women, Soft Hearts by Paula Rhinehart

The Sacred Romance by Brent Curtis and John Eldredge

Fresh Brewed Life by Nicole Johnson

-Sign up for a Bible Study being offered at church

-Invite a few friends, neighbors or members of your Bible Study to do a workbook and DVD Bible Study together at one of your homes.  If you live near CPC, there are a number that can be checked out from the church library.  If you don’t, look for studies available at lifeway.com or Christianbook.com

-Sign up to receive a daily devotional at Proverbs 31 Ministries www.provberbs31.org (Lysa Ter Keurst started this ministry)

-Choose a book of the Bible to read through this summer.  Write down questions you have as you read and take the time to do word studies and read commentaries that will help you understand it better.  You can also pick up helpful study guides for specific books of the Bible at the CPC bookstore or other Christian bookstores.

The options are only limited by your imagination.  So, pray and ask God to show you what His plans are for you this summer.  Then, dip you paddle in the water and point yourself against the current- you won’t be disappointed.

“Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful” (Joshua 1:8).


The Changed Perspective of a Thankful Heart

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“Sometimes, when we have too many blessings, we become so overwhelmed with our blessings that we forget to be thankful.”

-Lysa TerKeurst What Happens When Women Say Yes to God

 I just got back from shopping for a birthday gift for my sister.  As I breezed in and out of stores looking for the “right” thing to buy her, I felt overwhelmed by the retail messages assaulting me everywhere I looked.  Bottom line:  in order to be adequate, I needed more “stuff” in the right colors and styles to match this year’s trends.  For most of us, our clothes go out of style before they wear out, yet we receive input constantly telling us that we need “more.”    As I shopped, I was grateful that instead of feeling inadequate or out of style, I could thank God for my closet full of clothes.

As I drove home, it got me thinking about how often we are tempted to look at what we think we “need” and not to recognize all that we have.  How often are we asking God for the next thing when we haven’t even thanked Him for the last one?  How often do we long for Him to work in a certain way, but fail to recognize where He is already at work?

When we take time to thank God, it opens the door for us to recognize His blessings in our lives and to find contentment instead of always wanting more.  Lysa says, “God accepts every expression of gratitude, but He loves to know that His gifts are noticed and appreciated, just as we do”  (p. 81).

I love the way Sarah Young writes about thankfulness from God’s perspective in Jesus Calling, “Let me teach you thankfulness.  Begin by acknowledging that everything—all your possessions and all that you are—belongs to Me.  The dawning of each new day is a gift from Me, not to be taken for granted.  The earth is vibrantly alive with My blessings, giving vivid testimony to My Presence.  If you slow down your pace of life, you can find Me anywhere”  (April 29 entry, p. 124).

For my final blog on What Happens When Women Say Yes to God it seems fitting to share two things I’ve pondered in the past week for which I’m thankful.  As you read, think about one thing you’re thankful for, then take a minute to post it in the comments below.   Make it your personal “thank you” note to God for this week.

Thank You #1:  My Health

A week and a half ago I traveled to Texas to spend time with a close friend battling cancer.   For reasons not totally clear to her doctors, she has lost significant strength in her legs and is unable to stand or walk without a walker.  As I was pushing her around in her wheelchair while we were out one day, I was convicted about the number of times I’ve struggled with my body image.  Standing in the unflattering light of a cramped dressing room and examining myself in the mirror can lead to a grumpy and ungrateful heart.  In the past, I’ve rarely thanked God that I’m healthy enough to walk, stand, run, ride a bike and pretty much do whatever I want.  Now, when I look at my body and a critical thought comes to mind, I think of my friend longing to be able to use her legs unassisted and I say, “Thank you God, for a healthy body and legs that work.”

Thank You #2:  A Delightful Teenager (this title is not an oxymoron)

My oldest son turns fourteen in a few days.  In many households, that is the age when the child you formerly knew and loved is replaced by a sullen and withdrawn teen in the throes of adolescent glory.  I thank God this is not the case in our home.  Yesterday, my son walked up to me in the kitchen totally unprompted and gave me a good, long hug (he had to bend down slightly since he is now taller than me).    Not only do I love him, I still like him (and all indicators are that he still likes me too).  The little boy that we prayed would be confident in who God made him to be has grown to a young man with character, integrity and a quiet confidence about him that I certainly never had at his age. I thank God for the ways He has answered prayers my husband and I have been praying since our son was born.

So, I’ve thanked God for two simple but profound things I noticed this week.  Now it’s your turn. This isn’t just a covert attempt to get more comments on my blog, it is an invitation for you to shift your perspective, have a thankful heart and tell God (and the rest of us) how grateful you are.

“Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our ‘God is a consuming fire’” (Hebrews 12:28-9).

Side note:  For those who are part of the Focused Living Bible Study, you know that our year is coming to a close.  I plan to continue posting on my blog during the summer break.  You won’t be receiving reminders from Focused Living, however, if you scroll down to the bottom of the page, there is a button that says “Follow” that you can click.   You should be notified anytime something new is posted.

And now, let the thankfulness begin….

One “Yes” Leads to Another

IMG_5129“Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”  1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

 I was talking with a friend about Lysa TerKeurst’s What Happens When Women Say “Yes” to God and she said, “Saying ‘yes’ to God is about the little things every day.  Over time, they have a cumulative effect and add up to something pretty amazing.”  So often we think saying “yes” is only about the really big things, but it is a series of little “yeses” all along the way that prepare us for those larger scale things God wants to do in and through us.

Looking back, I see that God used a series of “Yes” responses in my life in powerful ways.  Each affirmative answer was layered on top of the one that went before it.  God had a perfect plan from the start- He was just waiting for different people to play their parts.   Here is how the story goes…

Six years ago as summer was winding down, I bumped into an acquaintance that was volunteering at Back to School Registration.  We chatted briefly and just as I was about to say goodbye, she asked, “Hey, Marybeth, I’m inviting some women from school to be in a small group at my church Bible study.  Are you interested in joining it?” Julie was not someone I knew well and from my place of insecurity, I saw her as president of everything and friends with everyone.  She was always nice to me, I just felt intimidated because of my own issues.  Still, I’d been praying since school got out for a Bible study with more Christian women from my kids’ public school.  This seemed like the answer to my prayers so I said,  “Yes, I’m interested.  How do I sign up?”

A year later, one of the Bible study’s coordinators invited me to co-facilitate a group for the following year.  I was flattered, but I didn’t consider myself the “women’s ministry” type.  My passion had always been working with teens, and I wasn’t sure I was equipped to shepherd my peers.  However, I sensed God calling me to branch out and see how my past experience could translate to impacting women.  So, I said, “Yes.”  I was blessed beyond measure by facilitating.  I grew deeper in my faith and in relationships with godly women of all ages.

A few years into facilitating, my older son was starting Middle School when I received a phone call, “Would you be willing to serve as our school’s Parent Education Representative?”  I’d never been involved much with PTA before.  However, the more I learned about the position, the more I sensed God nudging me to accept it.  With my past experience working in a public high school, it felt like a good fit.  And so, I said, “Yes.”  Almost immediately, God gave me an idea that I had the opportunity to implement through my PTA position.

In my new role, I approached one of our pastors, Mark, with a big request, “I love what my husband has been learning in the men’s group at church.  Would you be willing to take the time to adapt it for a Parent Education evening at my son’s school?”  He said, “Are you kidding?  I pray for opportunities like this!  Yes!”  A few months later, Mark, spoke to 150 men in our public school about “Raising Boys to be of Character.”  Our principal had never seen so many dads show up for an event in all her years of education.  She was truly baffled and amazed.  Mark was even asked to return three months afterwards to do a follow up workshop.  Now, two years later, Mark has spoken about raising boys at least a dozen times and continues to be a sought after speaker in our public schools.  His message has impacted hundreds of lives because he said, “Yes” to the idea God inspired in me when I said “Yes” to serving on the PTA.

After Mark spoke at my son’s school that first time, I was so excited that I shared during an open microphone time at Bible study.  Later that morning, a woman approached me, “Hi, I’m Kirsten.  I loved your sharing today and would like to write about it on a local news website.  Can I interview you?”  The answer was easy, I said, “Yes.”

Kirsten sent an e-mail with a few follow up questions after our interview.  A tag line under her name caught my attention:  “Are you a mom who likes to write?  Join our Writing Moms group.”  As a former English teacher, I’d been writing for years, I just hadn’t shared it with many people because I was too insecure.  Tentatively, I probed for more information and finally responded “Yes” when she invited me to a writers group meeting.  My heart pounded as I walked in, but the women were warm, friendly and encouraging.  Instead of feeling intimidated by them, I felt welcomed and validated.

A few months later, Kirsten approached me, “Would you consider writing a blog on Rich Stearns’ book The Hole in Our Gospel for the news website I write for?”  I’d barely ever read a blog and had no idea what writing one entailed.  Our church was studying the book, but I knew very little about it.  On top of that, our house was being remodeled and we were already had a lot going on. However, I’d been praying for subject matter to write about and an audience with whom I could share it.  Now, both were being offered to me.  After talking and praying with my husband, we realized I needed to say, “Yes.”   We decided God would equip me with the time and inspiration I needed to write the blogs.

My involvement with the local news website opened another door for me, enabling me to write a different blog about our home remodel.  Over a year and a half I chronicled all of the crazy things that happened and what God was teaching me through them.  Both blogs enabled me to share stories about God’s transforming power on a public non-Christian website.  I was amazed to see how God used the stories to touch lives.

By the spring of 2012, I sensed God preparing me for a new challenge.  I’d been steadily co-facilitating a small group and loving every minute of it. However, I needed to say “No” to make room for a new “Yes.”  It was a step of faith and obedience for me to put aside facilitating without knowing what would come next.  A few months later, God made it clear when Karen, the Bible Study Coordinator, asked me to start writing a blog for the next year.

Although God had been preparing me, this newest “Yes” stretched me in significant ways.  First and foremost, I was not technology savvy and felt overwhelmed about setting up and maintaining my own blog.  Secondly, I realized writing about our studies meant I not only had to complete them weekly, but that I had to get them done early.   I also had to come up with something worthwhile to say every week.  With trepidation, I said, “Yes,” knowing I would have to rely on God every step of the way.

I could not have kept up the pace of completing the studies and writing something weekly if God had not given me the time and inspiration along with the support of a faithful prayer team. Looking back, it’s clear how each small “Yes” prepared me for the next one.  God never revealed more than I needed to know, He just asked me to trust Him enough to answer “Yes” one step at a time.

There have been a few other side benefits to saying, “Yes” over the past six years.  My faith has grown significantly.  I’ve made some amazing new friendships by rubbing shoulders with different people.  My confidence in God’s ability to equip me and use me has grown, and my insecurities have diminished.   People who intimidated me because of their strength have become trusted friends who have cheered me along.

Any person who says “Yes” to God has stories to share.  Hopefully my “Yes” moments have given you a glimpse of that, but now it’s your turn.  Take a moment to look back at your own “Yes” stories and share one.  Then, pray that God will prepare you for the “Yeses” yet to come.

One of my main motivations for saying, “Yes” has been to invite God to further His kingdom here on earth. Last fall I discovered the Irish band Rend Collective Experiment and their inspiring song called “Build Your Kingdom Here”. It has become a prayer for me each time I hear it. Click on the link below- you’ll want to stand up and shout, “Yes” to God.

Peeling off Self-Confidence and Finding God-Confidence

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“God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV

 In the early spring when the hills are green and the flowers are blooming, there is nothing better than taking a mountain bike ride.  The only “down side” is that early spring includes cold mornings, which means I have to layer up clothes if I don’t want to freeze.   There are days when I’m tempted to leave my down vest on before I head out, but I know I’ll regret it later.  As my body adjusts to the air and my muscles warm up, I begin to peel off the layers one by one.  There is nothing worse than being out on the trail encumbered with a bunch of gear that I no longer need.

This is a bit like the difference between placing confidence in us and placing confidence in God. Just like my layers of clothing on a cold bike ride, we layer ourselves up with things on the outside, hoping they will make us feel complete on the inside.   Starting in childhood and moving into adulthood, we learn to base our confidence on grades, awards, activities, social connections, appearance, athletic ability and other skills.  As long as we “show well,” we feel good about ourselves.  However, this is an exhausting cycle to maintain.  Someone is always just a little better or has achieved just a little more.   Even great friendships can have rough patches that leave us feeling vulnerable and uncertain.  There is nothing inherently “wrong” with the things I’ve listed, but if we pursue them to feel good about ourselves, they become layers we pile on that only bog us down.  Self-confidence proves to be elusive, like catching a slippery fish in our hands only to have it wriggle out and swim away.

In contrast, Lysa TerKeurst coins the term “God- confidence,” which is like the warmth that comes from inside me once I get going on my ride.  It is what causes me to peel off protective layers and expose myself to the elements because my heat source is coming from my interior instead of being piled on my exterior.  Much the same, God- confidence is not dependent upon our circumstances, achievements or approval from other people.  It is something we can carry inside of us at all times when we claim Jesus as our Lord and Savior.

Self-confidence says:  “I look good enough to walk in that door and impress people.”

God confidence says:  “I am loved enough by God to walk in that door and show kindness to others.”

Self-confidence says:  “I’m smart enough and well-educated enough to carry on a conversation with this group.”

God-confidence says:  “I know the truth of who I am in Christ, He will give me the words to say in this situation.”

Self-confidence says: “I’m willing to say, ‘yes’ because this is comfortable and safe, I’ve done it before and I know I’m good at it.”

God-confidence says:  “This is beyond me, but I am going to trust God to lead me and equip me according to His plans.”

Self-confidence says:  “I’m acceptable because I’m included in the group.  Because other people validate me, I know I’m worth something.”

God-confidence says:  “Whether people include me or not will not shake my confidence.  I’m at peace knowing that God loves me, whether I’m overlooked or included by people”

Self-confidence says:  “Life is good because circumstances are situated in my favor.”

God-confidence says:  “Whether my circumstances are good or bad, I trust that God is in control.”

Self-confidence may falter when:

-The “perfect outfit” we bought a few years ago suddenly seems dated

-We gain a few pounds

-A person we love doesn’t seem to have time for us

-We hear about a gathering and we weren’t included

-People rave about the person who was filling in for something we usually do

-An illness or injury keeps us from our usual activities

-We aren’t receiving as much affirmation as we’d like

-Our social schedule isn’t full

-Our social media “friends” seem to take better vacations, have cuter kids, and do more “cool” stuff than our families

-Our accomplishments or achievements pale in comparison to someone else’s

-We make a huge mistake

-We’re not “up” on the latest news/technology/fashion/music/trends

-We compare ourselves to others

-No one notices when we’re gone or welcomes us when we return

God-confidence may falter when:

-We take our eyes off Him

-We focus on our problems and let them magnify

-We look to other people to reassure us, fill us up or give us approval

-We focus on our exteriors instead of our interiors

-We let a difficult situation breed stress in us

-We can’t trust God with things we don’t understand

Being God-confident doesn’t mean we’ll always feel great about ourselves, but we’ll know that we have a God who loves us and will never leave us.  It means trusting Him to give us the power we need instead of trying to conjure it up on our own.  God-confidence leaves us unencumbered by the things that might otherwise weigh us down.  We can walk confidently not because of who we are or what we’ve done, but because of who God is and what Jesus did for us on the cross.

I love the way Lysa TerKeurst describes this God-confidence in What Happens When Women Say “Yes” to God:  “This is the way God wants me to dance through life…In my mind’s eye He is there.  The touch of His gaze wraps about me, comforts me, assures me, and makes the world seem strangely dim.  As long as my gaze is locked on his, I dance and he smiles.  The snickers and jeers of others fade away.  Though I hear their razor sharp intentions, they are unable to pierce my heart and distract my focus.  Even my own stumblings don’t cause the same feelings of defeat.  My steps so often betray the desire of my heart, but it is not my perfect performance that captures His attention.  Rather, it is my complete dependence on Him that He notices” (pp. 88-89).

When we place our confidence in God, there should be no reason for insecurity, fear or feelings of inadequacy. If Christ lives in us, we already have everything we need, it is just a matter of believing it to be true and then living with our gaze fixed on Him.

“My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him.  He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken”  (Psalm 62:1-2)

One way I find perspective when I’ve drifted from God-confidence is to listen to great music.  Click on the links below to hear two songs that help me regain my focus:  “We Won’t be Shaken” by Building 429 and “Strangely Dim” by Francesca Battistelli.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9BJhOgb-unI

Beach Glass: Living the Reality of Jesus in Our Lives

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Recently I was talking with a friend about making life choices that display the reality of Jesus in our lives. She stopped and said:  “It’s about incorporating our lives into God instead of trying to incorporate God into our lives.”  So often we try to fit God into a box or a category in our lives.  We may be great at talking about our relationships with God when we’re at church or Bible Study.  It’s easy to be kind when we sign up for a Missions day or an outreach event.  We’re willing to be interrupted when it fits into our schedules conveniently.   But if we’re really serious about the idea of saying “yes” to God, then He doesn’t just want to be a compartment in our lives; He wants to be the center.

Lysa TerKeurst says:  “I remind myself often that people don’t care to meet my Jesus until they meet the reality of Jesus in my life”  (p. 70 What Happens When Women Say “Yes” to God).  Maybe another way to put it is:  who am I when no one else is looking?  How do I react when things don’t go the way I want or people don’t perform according to my expectations?  This may reveal more about who Jesus is in our lives than who we are at church on Sunday or Bible Study on Thursday.

So often our reactions to frustrations are rooted in the flesh and we have a simple knee-jerk response.  Instead of stopping to pray and asking God’s Spirit to guide us, we just do what comes naturally, which isn’t usually the best plan.

There is no way to sustain being more like Jesus on our own strength.  We can’t just “try harder.”  The only way to do it is to abide in Him and let Him do the rest: “I am the vine; you are the branches.  If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”  John 15:5

If we rely on our own wisdom instead of seeking the wisdom of the Holy Spirit, we are taking matters into our own hands and missing what God has for us.  “Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil.  This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.”  Proverbs 3:7-8

Here are a few things that might impede the reality of Jesus in our lives:

Worry-

When worry swallows us up, we tend to become inwardly focused; we are unaware of the world around us and de-sensitized to the needs of others.  We are so consumed with our own issues that we can become self-absorbed without realizing it.   Maybe you have some regular topics that you worry about in your life: your kids, finances, health, relationships, overwhelming responsibilities.  If you want to experience the reality of Jesus in your life, try letting Him in on your worries and letting Him show you a new perspective.

“Cast all your anxieties on him because he cares for you” 1 Peter 5:7.

“You will keep in perfect peace
 those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.”  Isaiah 26:3

Challenging People-

Sometimes we encounter people who make it difficult for us to experience the reality of Jesus in our lives.  Rather than avoiding them or trying harder to deal with them on your own strength, try praying and asking God to give you the strength you need to love as He loves.  Pray that God will open your eyes to see the person in a new light and to have a better understanding of him or her.  Pray that God will use the challenge of being in relationship with that person to refine you.   The Bible has much to say about our response to people.  One passage that covers many topics concisely is Romans 12:9-21:

“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.  Do not be conceited.

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: `It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord. On the contrary:

If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.  Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

Challenging/ Uncomfortable Circumstances-

Lysa talks about “small tests” that we face that make it a challenge to live the reality of Jesus.  If you find yourself struggling “to stay godly when things in life go awry,” try asking God what He wants to teach you and how you can grow (p.69).  So often we’re focused on wanting God to “fix” something.  We want Him to do it the way we want and we miss out on what He is trying to teach us.  If we really believe that Romans 8:28 is true, then we need to ask God to show us the good in situations when we can’t find it on our own:

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Prayer

If you find yourself in a situation that needs an infusion of the reality of Jesus, try praying a simple one-line prayer.  Better yet, start your day praying and then be on the lookout for how God is at work.  Here are few suggestions for quick prayers:

“Renew my mind”

“God, I don’t have what I need for this situation, but you do.  Please fill in where I’m lacking.”

“Align my heart and will to yours.”

“Give me eyes to see this person or situation as you see it.”

“Pour out your Holy Spirit on me.  Help me to glorify you and bless others today.”

“Show me where you are at work and inviting me to join you today.”

An entry in Sarah Young’s Jesus Calling sums it up well.  Written as if Jesus were speaking directly to us, it says:

“When you are shaken out of your comfortable routines, grip My hand tightly and look for growth opportunities.  Instead of bemoaning the loss of your comfort, accept the challenge of something new.  I lead you on from glory to glory, making you fit for My kingdom.  Say yes to the ways I work in your life.  Trust Me and don’t be afraid.”  (April 15 entry)

Every day we face new challenges that give us opportunities to trust God and to see the reality of Jesus in our lives.  Imagine a shard of glass on the beach- it starts out sharp and dangerous. However, over time sand, water, rocks and even other pieces of glass buff it.  What was once jagged and menacing becomes rounded and smooth through a process of constant rubbing.  God can do the same thing in our lives when we  allow Him to use daily challenges that rub us the wrong way to teach us. Our rough edges will begin to smooth out as we let Jesus have His way with us.  Over time, others will recognize the reality of Him in our lives too.

Click on the link below to listen to “Live Like That” by Sidewalk Prophets.  It is an inspiring song about living the reality of Jesus in your life.

Being Open Handed is a State of Mind

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His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.  For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure; they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.  2 Peter 1:3-8

Imagine a clenched fist.  The physical posture represents an internal state of mind.   It might reveal a struggle to maintain our own control and comfort.  It could involve an unwillingness to be inconvenienced in our schedules.  Maybe it represents clinging to anger, bitterness, or un-forgiveness.  Perhaps it involves not sharing a talent we have that would bless someone else.  It could represent a heart that is hard and unwilling to be softened.  Maybe a certain person comes to mind when you picture it, or maybe you think of yourself.

Watching someone with clenched fists blossom into a person who is open handed is amazing to witness.  Lysa Ter Keurst describes it well:  “When we surrender to Him, we acknowledge that He knows what’s best for us and that everything we have belongs to Him.  Our posture is openhanded, enabling us to receive God’s many blessings- blessings that enable us to know and experience Him every day”  (What Happens When Women Say “Yes” to God p. 41).

For the past year, I’ve watched this process unfold in the life of an acquaintance that has become a dear friend.  I knew Debbie for years through volunteering at school, but never spent time with her until our boys ended up on a team together.  Sitting on the sidelines of a lacrosse game last spring, I was taken by surprise when she asked:  “So, how do you make time for church during your kids’ sports seasons?”   We’d never talked about attending church before and I was happy to hear someone else on the team cared about making it a priority.

As the season continued, our conversations on the sidelines became discussions over lunch or out on a trail.  Debbie was hungry for spiritual knowledge and eager to grow.  She welcomed suggestions for books to read and peppered me with questions about my faith, my prayer life and my knowledge of scripture.  She was a Christian, but was hungering to grow deeper in her walk with God.

Like most moms, she was extremely busy with her own activities and taking care of her husband and three kids.  I felt privileged by the time she spent with me and prayed that God would soften her heart towards the idea of joining a Bible study.  I sensed she was ready for it, but wondered if she would be able to make the time.

Out on a bike ride one day last spring, I brought it up:  “So, I go to this women’s Bible Study on Thursdays that I think you’d like.   Sign ups for the fall are starting soon, do you want to do it?”  She thought for a minute:  “I might be interested, but there’s a golf clinic that I might do on Thursday mornings.  Let me think about it.”  I started praying that Debbie’s desire to grow spiritually would be stronger than her desire to improve her golf game. Her heart had been softening for months, but I could see that her fist was still clenched around her schedule and she wasn’t sure if regular time in Bible study fit into her plan.

I prayed for Debbie all summer and waited for her to give an answer.  Finally, in late August, she called:  “I’ll commit to the first semester study, but not to the whole year.”  Her fist was beginning to unclench.  I prayed more.

Throughout the fall, Debbie came to Bible Study consistently and did her homework diligently.  She was overwhelmed trying to absorb so much new information, but doing her best to keep up.  The women in our group were gracious and inclusive, always affirming her for the questions she asked.  She admitted to me that she didn’t “love” the study, but liked what she was learning.  God was laying a foundation in her as she opened her hand and opened His Word.

By the end of our first study, Debbie had seen enough to know she wanted to continue for the rest of the year.  She’d made time for God and He was giving her a desire for more of Him.  As our new study began after Christmas, Debbie’s fists continued to unclench, her hands opened to receive more of Him.  She would arrive at our group unable to speak, overcome with emotion about God’s goodness and all the ways He was revealing Himself to her.  One week with a quavering voice and tears in her eyes she summed it up:  “I’ve been a Christian most of my life, but I never really GOT it until now.  I really GET IT!”  She was glowing with joy as she shared how the Holy Spirit had captured her heart.

Not long after this, Debbie and I met to discuss an after school program we ran together.  We were considering whether or not to continue it next year and had been batting around different ideas.  With conviction in her voice, she offered her opinion:  “I think our time would be put to better use sharing what we’ve learned about the Bible with other women in our community.  There are so many people who need God.  I can think of 10 women right now who I’d invite to an in-home Bible Study, I’d even host it at my house.  Can we pray about doing that instead?”

I was humbled and inspired by Debbie’s passion.  Her desire to share with others reveals God’s transforming power in her life.   Rather than looking at what fits into her schedule, she’s responding to what God wants to do in and through her life.

Recently, Debbie participated in an annual golf tournament.  Beforehand, she laughed saying:  “I haven’t even picked up a golf club in a year, but I don’t care. I’m just going to spend time with my mom, that’s the important part.”  When she returned, I reminded her about the golf clinic she almost chose over Bible Study.  She paused, thinking about how the decision to do Bible Study instead has impacted her life this year:  “I probably would have put a lot more pressure on myself to do well in the tournament if I’d been taking the clinic all year.  Instead, I went and had fun and enjoyed the people.  I would have missed so much if I’d said ‘no’ to Bible Study this year.”  That sounds a lot like Lysa’s words in our study:  “We need not fear what our obedience will cause to happen in our lives.  We should only fear what our disobedience will cause us to miss”  (p. 45).

Debbie’s story inspires me; it shows what God can do when we unclench our fists, open our hands and allow God to pour Himself into us.  There are many things we can hold tightly that keep us from growing.  When we focus on our own agendas, try to control our lives, fret over our finances, hold tightly to our time, or cling to past hurts, we prevent ourselves from becoming the people God wants us to be.  We miss out on receiving His blessings and passing them on to others when we’re more concerned with our personal comfort than letting God work through us.  The things we grasp in our hands only weigh us down and hold us back. We’ll never know how He wants to bless us until we trust Him enough to unclench our fists, relinquish our fears and raise open hands to Him in total surrender.

Apples and Oranges

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Have you ever heard the saying: “it’s like comparing apples and oranges”?  People use it when someone makes a comparison of things that are too different to be equivalent.   It’s unfair because the objects can’t or shouldn’t be compared by the same criteria.  Apples and oranges are both types of fruit and are roughly the same size, but trying to compare them or say which one is “better” is just plain silly.  Certain recipes clearly call for one or the other.   I love to make Cranberry Apple Pie at Thanksgiving, but I would never swap the apples for oranges.  The two aren’t interchangeable.  Each has distinctive qualities that make it uniquely suited for certain recipes.

We live in a culture consumed with making comparisons.  We’re constantly labeling, categorizing and judging.   Unfortunately we are prone to make unhelpful comparisons in our daily lives that do significantly more damage than comparing apples to oranges.  Have you ever encountered a person doing something amazing and inspiring and been tempted to feel insignificant and inadequate?   Maybe someone is sharing about a way God moved in her life and the whole time you’re comparing yourself, feeling threatened and thinking: “What does this mean for me?”  I’ll confess that I had one of those moments as I read Chapter 2 of What Happens When Women Say Yes to God.

Lysa TerKeurst shares a moving story about adopting two teenaged boys from Liberia, Africa.  She says that her family said, “yes” to God “not because [they] were completely comfortable with adopting, but rather because [they] completely trusted Him”  (p. 37).   It’s an inspiring story, but instead of praising God for working in her family and rescuing two boys from the grip of poverty, I read it through my own filter. Evaluating myself in comparison to her, I thought: “She’s better than me.  I would never be able to handle something like that.”  It is too easy to look at how God is moving in the lives of others and to play the comparison game.  We end up thinking we’re inadequate for not “measuring up” and don’t factor in the part the Holy Spirit plays in all of it.

When we compare ourselves and come up short, we are essentially telling God that we don’t like the gifts He’s given us.  We are deciding that what God has done in another life is better than anything He could do in ours.  God has unique promptings for each of us. He gives each of us specific gifts, skills and experiences, all of which can be used for His glory. We are uniquely suited for certain things.  We’ll miss out on hearing His voice and discovering how He wants to use us if we’re busy comparing ourselves to others.

Saying “yes” to God’s promptings is a slow building process.  As He softens our hearts and we align our wills with His, He begins to shape our dreams and desires.  This is not something that happens overnight.  The first steps may look small to you, but they are only the beginning.  It starts with saying “yes” to spending time with God every day.  It continues as you include Him in your daily choices.  Eventually, you may find yourself surrendering every decision to Him and asking for His direction in all that you do.   The experiences you have, the people you meet and the things you learn prepare you to be used in new ways so that you are ready to answer when you hear God’s call.

Lysa gave a great set of questions to ask ourselves as we consider responding to God’s promptings:

-Does what I’m hearing line up with Scripture?

-Is it consistent with God’s character?

-Is it being confirmed through messages I’m hearing at church or studying in my quiet times?

-Is it beyond me?  (ie:  I could never do it without God’s help)

-Would it please God?

Even people who have been followers of Jesus for many years always have opportunities to stretch and grow in new ways.  After all, we are on a continual journey and will never attain total maturity or completeness until we reach our heavenly home.  Perhaps you’re already living out a “yes” you said to God in the past.  Maybe He is preparing you for a new season of serving in a different way.  Has someone recently asked you to consider a new opportunity that is a bit out of your comfort zone?  It might be time to pray through Lysa’s five questions and see where God is leading.  The point is: we need to look at what God is doing in us, personally, instead of comparing ourselves to what He’s doing in others.

If you are criticizing yourself over your propensity to compare, keep in mind that even Jesus’ closest disciples were guilty of this habit.   In the final chapter of John’s gospel, Jesus gives Peter some specific instructions about his ministry on earth.  When Jesus finishes talking, Peter turns and points to John, asking Jesus  “Lord, what about him?”  Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you?  You must follow me”  (John 21:21-22).  I like the way my Bible commentary explains Jesus’ response to Peter:  “The answer of Jesus had one purpose, to rebuke Pater for being distracted over John’s future.  It was enough for him to be concerned about doing God’s will in his own life” (The Wycliffe Bible Commentary edited by Pfeiffer and Harrison, p. 1122).  Maybe it’s enough for us to be concerned about doing God’s will in our lives too.

When I’m tempted to compare the ways God is using another person and to think I don’t measure up, I stop myself by saying:  “Celebrate, don’t compare.”  It is a different issue entirely if we make a comparison and feel convicted that we’re being disobedient to God or not using what He’s given us.  In that case, we need to confess in prayer and follow up with actions.  In either situation, being critical of ourselves serves no purpose other than to keep us from making a difference for God’s kingdom purposes.