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Your Weakness Lets God’s Strength Shine Through

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I started teaching high school at the tender age of 23– only five years after graduating from high school myself.  Being a new teacher was hard.  What made matters worse was that I looked like I could’ve been one of the students.  I decided that the best way to gain respect was to hide my weaknesses and insecurities.  I thought the students and parents would look down on me if I didn’t appear to have all the answers and everything “together” all the time.  Even among the other faculty members, I felt wary about sharing struggles.  I spent a lot of time compensating for my weaknesses and trying to cover them up.  That year I found myself in the staff lounge bathroom from time to time crying my eyes out over some difficulty I was facing.  Too proud to admit the truth, I’d blame my red, watery eyes on “allergies” if anyone approached me with concern for my wellbeing.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned that admitting weaknesses is not only healthy and human– it’s also biblical.   To think I can do things on my own without God is simply foolish pride.  Maybe that’s why the story of Gideon appeals to me so much.  There’s no doubt he was weak.  He didn’t have the credentials needed to engage in battle against a formidable enemy—and that is exactly why God chose him.

Another reason I like Gideon is that he needed reassurance from God several times before he acted.  Just before entering battle against the Midianites with his puny army of 300, God blessed Gideon with the chance to overhear a Midianite soldier talking with his tent mate about a dream he had.   When Gideon overheard the dream and learned the men feared him and the army of Israel, he was greatly encouraged.  The story below picks up just after this in Judges 7:15-21.

When Gideon heard the dream and its interpretation, he bowed down and worshiped. He returned to the camp of Israel and called out, “Get up! The Lord has given the Midianite camp into your hands.” Dividing the three hundred men into three companies, he placed trumpets and empty jars in the hands of all of them, with torches inside.

“Watch me,” he told them. “Follow my lead. When I get to the edge of the camp, do exactly as I do. When I and all who are with me blow our trumpets, then from all around the camp blow yours and shout, ‘For the Lord and for Gideon.’”

Gideon and the hundred men with him reached the edge of the camp at the beginning of the middle watch, just after they had changed the guard. They blew their trumpets and broke the jars that were in their hands. The three companies blew the trumpets and smashed the jars. Grasping the torches in their left hands and holding in their right hands the trumpets they were to blow, they shouted, “A sword for the Lord and for Gideon!” While each man held his position around the camp, all the Midianites ran, crying out as they fled.

When the three hundred trumpets sounded, the Lord caused the men throughout the camp to turn on each other with their swords. The army fled to Beth Shittah toward Zererah as far as the border of Abel Meholah near Tabbath.

I love imagining the sound of the shattering pottery and the shouts of the soldiers.  I can just picture the shimmering light produced by the flames of 300 torches strategically placed in a circle on the hills surrounding the Midianite camp.  The small band of soldiers had been too far apart to see one another as they waited in the dark for the signal.  Imagine their triumph at the sound of the trumpet and the lights they all held high in the darkness.

These men did not fight with the traditional weapons of battle, yet God used their uncommon weapons to achieve a stunning victory.  On paper, nothing about their plan worked from a worldly perspective- they didn’t have the manpower or the tools to achieve victory, but they had God on their side.

“The weaknesses we often despise are required for the light of Christ to be seen and for the darkness around us to be dispelled.  Without the limitations and deficiencies of our vessels, we would not serve our purpose well.  Your weakness is not a liability.  It is one of your greatest assets.  God’s presence and power are best seen when our large, impressive personalities aren’t getting in the way.  So welcome His light into your weakness, and let it shine, let it shine, let it shine!”  (Priscilla Shirer, Gideon, p. 125)

So, how does this look for those of us living in the 21st century?  First and foremost, we need to recognize our weaknesses and realize they need to be surrendered to God.

For me, the process of seeing my weaknesses took quite a while.  Throughout my teens and twenties, I struggled with insecurity. I’d grown so accustomed to it that I just assumed it was a part of who I was.  Never once had I considered asking God to use it for His glory.  I did my best to compensate for it in many ways- whether by trying to achieve more academically, to wear the “right” clothes, to associate with the “right” people or to hold positions of power and respect.  While none of these things were necessarily “bad,” none of them helped to alleviate my insecurity.  (Thus, the crying in the bathroom when I was a new teacher).  Sadly, my compensating made me more intimidating and less approachable as I tried harder and harder to be “perfect” so that I would feel more secure.

It was not until after I had kids and participated in my first Beth Moore Bible study that I ever realized insecurity was a weakness I could submit to God.  As I began to pray about it, God started to change me.  He didn’t miraculously remove it from my life, but He used it to make me more sensitive to others.  I began realizing that insecurity is a pervasive issue in our culture and that many women struggle with it.   God showed me many ways Satan uses it to keep women from connecting with one another because they feel too threatened and intimidated.  Insecurity prevents many of us from living into the people God is calling us to be.   It causes us to put up unhealthy facades that prevent authentic connection.  It renders our gifts useless and often leaves us feeling like outsiders with nothing to offer.  Few Bible teachers address this issue, so it remains a silent struggle for many.

I still remember the first time I admitted that I battled with insecurity publically.  I’d been asked to sit on a panel of women at our weekly Focused Living Bible Study.  Each panelist was asked to share about an area in her life where she needed God’s intervention on a regular basis.  I had a “safe” answer prepared in my head, but when the microphone was handed to me, I horrified myself by blurting out “I struggle with insecurity.”  My face was red and my hands were shaking as I passed the microphone on to the next panelist.  Inside, I was kicking myself for being so vulnerable.

To my surprise, when the panel ended several women made a beeline for me and thanked me for sharing aloud what they‘d been struggling with for years.  Each woman thought she was the only one.   When I let my clay vessel crack open and I exposed my weakness, the light of God’s love used my honesty to encourage others.  The weakness I’d been hiding and trying to compensate for in a variety of ways became the very thing God used to make me more authentic, approachable and encouraging to others with similar struggles.

Whether or not we like to admit it, we’re all just simple clay vessels like those earthen pots the soldiers carried to battle.  Your weaknesses may be different from mine, but you have something God can use for His glory, if only you’ll surrender it to Him.  With the Holy Spirit living within us, God can use our weaknesses to shine His light to a dark world in desperate need of a Savior.

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For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness, ”made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ.  But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.  2 Corinthians 4:6-7

Click on the link below to hear Matthew West’s song “Strong Enough,” to be reminded that God’s strength trumps your weakness.

Click on the link below to hear Josh Wilson’s “Pushing Back the Dark.”  You’ll be inspired to give your weaknesses to God and to watch how He uses them to shine His light to the world through you!

It Never Hurts to Ask

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I’m generally a rule-follower by nature.  I don’t like to ruffle feathers or make requests that inconvenience people.  I don’t like to draw attention to myself.  I’m not particularly dramatic.  In the last few years, however, I’ve started getting a bit more courageous about taking risks and making requests.   A new phrase has been finding its way into my vocabulary:  “It never hurts to ask.”  My husband chuckled at my newfound courage a few months ago as I loaded two giant resin pots into the back of our car.  We’d owned them less than a year and they were already starting to fall apart due to sun damage.  I figured it was worth asking for our money back.  “It never hurts to ask,” I told my husband.  If they said “no,” we weren’t any worse off than we were before.  I lugged the pots into the store and politely explained the problem to the woman at the return counter.  She took one look at the cracking and sun-bleached pots and gave me a store credit equal to their value. That night, I proudly showed my husband the gift card I’d gotten.  “See?   This will pay for two new ones.  I told you, it never hurts to ask!”

Apparently, Gideon had a similar thought when he boldly asked God to show him a tangible sign that He was calling him into battle against the Midianites.  Here is the story from Judges 6:36-40.

Gideon said to God, “If you will save Israel by my hand as you have promised— look, I will place a wool fleece on the threshing floor. If there is dew only on the fleece and all the ground is dry, then I will know that you will save Israel by my hand, as you said.”  And that is what happened. Gideon rose early the next day; he squeezed the fleece and wrung out the dew—a bowlful of water.

Then Gideon said to God, “Do not be angry with me. Let me make just one more request. Allow me one more test with the fleece, but this time make the fleece dry and let the ground be covered with dew.” That night God did so. Only the fleece was dry; all the ground was covered with dew.

Priscilla Shirer’s contention in Gideon:  Your Weakness, God’s Strength is that once Gideon finds the fleece and the ground exactly as he asked, he begins to doubt.    Gideon wonders if he’s mistaken because the ground would naturally dry faster than the absorbent fleece.  So, he risks asking God for a second sign of confirmation.  This time, he requests that God make the ground wet and the fleece dry.  In His infinite patience, God grants Gideon’s second request.

Priscilla points out that Gideon had been heavily influenced by the predominant “religion” of Baalism.  “The universe, a Baalist would subscribe, was self-sustaining, with no eternal Being actively involved in supporting and maintaining it.  While they believed it possible to stimulate or manipulate nature/Baal to respond in a certain way, they firmly believed that the world and its happenings were independent of God’s involvement.  This made the personal, intimate relationship that Yahweh offered to Gideon contrary to his Baal-instructed mind.  He had never felt a need to pray for certain things, because the processes that nature put in place were set and could not be altered”  (Gideon, p. 111).

Priscilla then turns the tables and makes this personal:  “consider how many things we don’t take to God in prayer because we’ve grown accustomed to the usual processes we experience daily… Even God’s people have been duped into believing that either He will not really do anything on our behalf or that He doesn’t need to because certain things just happen anyway”  (Gideon, p. 112).

The book of James echoes this sentiment:  “You do not have, because you do not ask God.  When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives… Come near to God and he will come near to you”  (James 4:2b, 3a, 8a).

Last week I heard a story from a friend. It shows the contrast between asking God to intervene and assuming natural processes will just run their course.  A few years ago, my friend’s uncle found himself in the Emergency Room with crushing chest pain.  He was told that he needed to have emergency open-heart surgery to repair a dissected aorta.  The prognosis was grim.  Doctors predicted he had mere hours to live if he didn’t have the surgery and preparations were quickly made to begin.  My friend and her family members gathered in the waiting room and began praying.  Her stepfather, who was a surgeon, was granted permission to observe the surgery.  As he stood in the operating room and watched the surgeons work, the situation looked dire.   He decided to go out and give family members the sad update.  As he rounded the corner to the waiting room, he found the family sitting in a circle deep in prayer.  Not a man of the same faith, he made a hasty retreat, deciding he preferred the grim scene in the operating room to the prayer circle in the waiting room.  As he re-entered the surgery, he was shocked to discover the doctors completing a full repair on the aorta.  Miraculously, they’d been able to salvage enough tissue to suture it back together.  The doctors were incredulous and my friend’s stepfather could hardly believe what he was seeing.  In fact, the heart surgeon calls her uncle his “miracle patient” to this day.  My friend’s stepfather had just accepted that there was little hope for the uncle.  Seeing his family members praying in the waiting room had seemed like a vain and foolish attempt to ward off the inevitable.  How wrong he was.

My friend’s uncle has gone on to live for thirteen more years.  He’s had a rich and full life and has been blessed to watch his youngest daughter marry and to be a part of the lives of his three grandchildren.  And all because his family members refused to give up hope and trusted God to intervene.

Are there things in life you’ve just accepted without even considering praying about them?   Are you plodding through life not even thinking of the ways God could intervene in your circumstances if you asked Him? Maybe it’s a spouse or family member whose heart seems totally hardened toward God.  Maybe it’s a child you lock horns with daily.  Maybe it’s your health.  Maybe it’s a broken relationship that won’t seem to heal.  Maybe it’s a hidden addiction.  Maybe it’s the ongoing struggle that you’re tired of fighting against depression, anxiety, loneliness or insecurity.  Maybe it’s financial distress.  Or maybe, you’re tired of just surviving and you long to be thriving in a fuller, richer, more passionate life.

Whatever it is, there is nothing that we cannot bring to God in prayer.  He delights in invitations for Him to move and work in our lives.  We can’t necessarily tell God how to work something out, but we can grow through the act of praying and drawing near to Him.  Sometimes prayer changes our circumstances, sometimes it changes our perspectives.  Sometimes it changes both.  One thing is for sure- it never hurts to ask.

Do you have a story of God’s intervention in a situation that others assumed was “just the way it is?”  Take time to comment so that others can be encouraged by it and God can receive the praise.


God Margin: When God’s 300 is Greater Than the Enemy’s 135,000

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2 The Lord said to Gideon, “You have too many men. I cannot deliver Midian into their hands, or Israel would boast against me, ‘My own strength has saved me.’ 3 Now announce to the army, ‘Anyone who trembles with fear may turn back and leave Mount Gilead.’” So twenty-two thousand men left, while ten thousand remained.

4 But the Lord said to Gideon, “There are still too many men. Take them down to the water, and I will thin them out for you there. If I say, ‘This one shall go with you,’ he shall go; but if I say, ‘This one shall not go with you,’ he shall not go.”

5 So Gideon took the men down to the water. There the Lord told him, “Separate those who lap the water with their tongues as a dog laps from those who kneel down to drink.” 6 Three hundred of them drank from cupped hands, lapping like dogs. All the rest got down on their knees to drink.

7 The Lord said to Gideon, “With the three hundred men that lapped I will save you and give the Midianites into your hands. Let all the others go home.” 8 So Gideon sent the rest of the Israelites home but kept the three hundred, who took over the provisions and trumpets of the others.

Now the camp of Midian lay below him in the valley. 12 The Midianites, the Amalekites and all the other eastern peoples had settled in the valley, thick as locusts. Their camels could no more be counted than the sand on the seashore.  –Judges 7:2-8, 12

I love the story of Gideon because he had no choice but to trust God and to watch how His plan would unfold to rescue the children of Israel from the Midianites.  “If anything was going to be the downfall of these people, it wouldn’t be Midian; it would be Israel’s pride.  So God purposefully, lovingly stripped down Gideon’s army to the bare bones, leaving them no choice but to rely on Yahweh for victory”  (Gideon by Priscilla Shirer, p. 76).

In case you need a refresher, here it is:  Gideon was called by God to lead the Israelites in defeating the Midianites who had been oppressing them.  God wanted to be sure that there was no question among the Israelites about who was responsible for their victory, so He whittled the Israelite army down from 32,000 men to 300. “Thus, God minimized pride’s chances of taking credit for a victory”  (Gideon, p. 75).

I’ve been struggling to write this blog—not because I can’t identify with this story, but because too many different examples in my own life come to mind.  In the past year, I’ve seen the truth of Gideon’s story over and over again.  Priscilla Shirer says “we need not see our weaknesses as repulsive, but as helpful in developing our continued dependence on God”  (p. 76).  When we lay our weaknesses at God’s feet and admit we can’t handle things on our own, He steps in to do some of His best work.

One of the places I feel my weakness most is when I watch someone I love struggling.  Over the course of the last several years, I stood by while my husband become progressively more discouraged at work.  It was like a heavy weight that burdened him all the time, consuming his thoughts and robbing his joy.  Finally, we reached a point last winter when he hit an all time low. He felt stuck—unable to make a change for a variety of valid reasons, yet struggling with the thought of continuing where he was.  One night as we sat on the couch having yet another conversation about it I said, “We need to be praying about this more consistently.  I’m going to ask God to change either your circumstances or your perspective.”  My husband answered, “I don’t really see how either one is going to change, but I guess it can’t hurt to try.”  We prayed for months and nothing seemed to be happening

In late spring, his discouragement plummeted even lower.  The subject of his job dominated our conversations.  We talked for hours on end and reached the same conclusion every time- prayer was our best and only real option.  At one point, I remember saying:  “I can’t wait to see how God shows up.  The more impossible the situation seems to us, the more obvious it is that He’s at work.”

A few weeks later, my husband got an unexpected phone call from a company who was looking to fill a new position.  It was a unique opportunity at a place he’d ruled out for a variety of reasons.  He entered into dialogue with the company cautiously, but with a glimmer of hope.  A series of meetings and interviews over the summer caused a roller coaster of emotions in our household.   There were several major obstacles that seemed insurmountable.  We continued to pray and ask God whether this opportunity was what He had planned for my husband.  With each step of the process, God stripped away anything that would cause us to believe we were in control.  We tried hard to keep the right perspective.  We wanted to put our hope in God and not in this particular job opportunity.

In late summer my husband was officially offered the job.  We’d been praying for peace and clarity and when he received the offer, we knew what he had to do.  He turned it down.  Although he wanted to work there, neither of us felt peace with the terms of employment.  Although it was disappointing, we knew it would be obvious when God was giving us the green light.  We truly believed He had something else in store, even if it meant waiting longer.

To our amazement, the company came back the next day and responded to every one of my husband’s specific concerns.  Each issue we’d prayed for throughout the summer was addressed clearly and decisively.  All of the reservations he’d had were resolved and we both felt peace.  There was no explanation other than God’s hand at work.

Priscilla Shirer calls it “God Margin.”  She says “it’s the space that exists between your skills and resources and what God can accomplish (Gideon Session 3 video). IMG_6035

My husband started his new job last week.  He has a spring in his step and a sparkle in his eye that’s been missing for quite a while.  When people ask about the new job, he says,  “It’s been overwhelmingly positive.  I’m truly humbled by the way God has worked.”  His joy doesn’t come from his new company, but from the blessing of trusting God and watching Him work in ways that were beyond anything we could have imagined.   God did change my husband’s circumstances, but He also changed his perspective and reminded him that our true hope never faltered.

There is nothing unique about our story—we all have opportunities for “God Margin” in our lives regularly.   When we acknowledge our weaknesses and offer them up to God, we get to see how He’ll use them for His glory.

I encourage you to commit your seemingly “hopeless” situation to God and wait for Him to reveal Himself in the midst of it.  Keep in mind, however– God rarely does things according to our plans.   Give Him lots of room to work in His way and His time frame instead of telling Him how you want it resolved.

If you already have a good “God Margin” story to share, please post a comment below.

For more encouragement, click on the link below to hear Matt Maher’s song “Lord, I Need You.”  It’s a great reminder to find your strength in God throughout every day.

Spiritual Eyes

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I’m in a serious state of denial.  I think I’m reaching that “certain age” where mature adults finally admit that they need a little boost with their vision.  Somehow, I can’t bring myself to make the trip to the store to buy a pair of reading glasses.  I guess it just makes me feel “old.”  (If you wear reading glasses, please don’t take that personally, it’s my silly little issue).  So, I’ve been compensating by using larger font sizes, squinting, or sneaking to put on my husband’s readers when no one is looking.  He came home from work the other day and caught me by surprise as I was writing at the computer.  As I turned to greet him, he laughed and said:  “You’re busted!!”  I’d forgotten to take off his reading glasses.   It was a funny, albeit humbling, moment.

I’ve been thinking about vision a lot lately and realizing that besides our physical eyes, God has also given us “spiritual eyes.”  And just like my physical vision is in need of a “boost,” we need to give our “spiritual eyes” a boost by asking God to open them for us.  I think many people spend a lifetime in spiritual blindness, missing out on all that God is doing in the world around them.  I don’t want to be one of those people.

Two of my favorite stories about spiritual vision come from opposite ends of the Bible.  One is in 2 Kings 6 and the other is in the book of Acts.

The story in 2 Kings 6:8-23 is about the prophet Elisha.  God has given him the divine ability to know the movements of Israel’s enemies in advance so that the Israelites can defend themselves.  Verse 10 says,  “Time and again Elisha warned the king, so that he was on his guard in such places.”  Elisha’s ability to discern the enemies’ plans enraged them, so they decided to try and capture him.  As the soldiers surrounded the city to close in on Elisha, his servant went into a panic:  “When the servant of the man of God got up and went out early the next morning, an army with horses and chariots had surrounded the city.  ‘Oh, my lord, what shall we do?’ the servant asked.”

Elisha responds with complete confidence:  “Don’t be afraid… Those who are with us are more than those who are with them.”  Then he prayed, “O LORD, open his eyes so he may see.’  Then the LORD opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.”

How cool is that?  One minute the servant is quaking in his sandals and the next he sees God’s holy army completely surrounding the enemy and protecting Elijah and him.  They were there all the time–he just didn’t have the eyes to see them.

The New Testament “vision” story I love takes place in Acts 9 when Saul is converted on the road to Damascus.  As he is on his way to persecute Christians, he encounters a blinding light from heaven accompanied by the voice of Jesus:  “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?”  Jesus then gives Saul instructions to go to the city and find a specific disciple who will tell him what to do.  With the help of his companions, the blinded Saul travels to Damascus where he follows Jesus’ instructions.  He meets with a disciple named Ananias, who Jesus sends to heal Saul.  Ananias lays his hands on Saul saying  “Brother Saul, the Lord—Jesus, who appeared to you on the road as you were coming here—has sent me so that you may see again and be filled with the Holy Spirit.”  The text says: “Immediately, something like scales fell from Saul’s eyes, and he could see again.  He got up and was baptized.”

I love that Saul’s physical sight was restored and that the Holy Spirit opened his spiritual eyes at the same time.  I love the instant change that occurred in Saul and that his first action was to get baptized as a believer.  From that moment on, his entire mission in life went from persecuting Christians to sharing the Good News of Christ.

I wonder, sometimes, if we need to pray for God to open our spiritual eyes a bit wider.  Are there things we’re missing because we’ve stopped staying in tune with the Spirit?  Are we getting apathetic and failing to look in wonder on God’s creation all around us?  Maybe we’ve lost our spiritual eyes to see a world crying out for compassion.  Do we realize that the same spiritual army that surrounded Elisha and his servant is at our beck and call?  Do we even recognize spiritual battles when they crop up?

IMG_5941 I like the way Priscilla Shirer says it:  “As believers, our spiritual eyes must detect God’s presence.  Once this happens, the opportunity unfolds for us to understand our calling and the vast inheritance we’ve been given to accomplish the tasks before us”  (Gideon p.44).

I think it’s challenging to have spiritual eyes in our western culture.  We pride ourselves on self-sufficiency.  We like to make things safe, comfortable and easy.  We have contingency plans and back up scenarios for everything.  We’re anesthetizing ourselves constantly with mindless entertainment.  We all run the risk of being lulled into letting our vision get fuzzy- kind of like my denial over needing reading glasses (yes, I am wearing my husband’s readers as I type this).

The more I write, the more it reminds me of Gideon’s community.  People had lost sight of who God was.  They had forgotten His power and His miracles.  They stopped worshipping Him and were influenced into worshipping the gods of those in the cultures around them.  And it happened in just one generation.

I don’t know about you, but reading that makes me want to ask the Spirit to sharpen my spiritual eyesight.  I want to discern where I’m growing lukewarm and letting our world direct my steps instead of God.  My prayer through Gideon is “Give me eyes to see you God.”

How about you?  Is it time for a spiritual vision check?  Time to see where things have gotten a little fuzzy?  Are there places where God is opening your eyes in new ways?  Make a comment below and tell us about it.

Finally, check out the three attached videos.  Each one deals with a slightly different aspect of our “spiritual vision.”

Chris Tomlin’s  “Whom Shall I Fear” will focus your “spiritual vision” on God’s hand of protection that surrounds you at all times.

Brandon Heath’s “Give Me Your Eyes” will fix your gaze on God’s heart of compassion and the ways He’s calling you to engage others.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7mhpLjPslbM

Josh Wilson’s “Behind the Beauty” will remind you to see every aspect of creation as an opportunity to praise God for His incredible handiwork.

Accessing the Power of the Spirit

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If you’ve read any of my posts in the past year, you know that I love to mountain bike.  God seems to speak to me as I climb hills, pick my way through rocky spots and roll through shifting soil.  I’ve been riding for quite a few years without any major incidents.  There has been a minor crash or two, but nothing too serious.

Until this past summer, I’d never even gotten a flat tire.  And then, in the span of a few weeks, I got two.   Both times I was out on an early morning ride with a close girlfriend when I realized I’d run over a thorn and was losing air fast.  I’m embarrassed to admit it, but I’d never learned to change a flat (my only consolation was that she didn’t know either).  Our solution was to leave in the thorn to plug the hole and pump the tire back up.  I’d ride my bike as far as I could until the tire was too flat, then we’d stop and repeat the whole process.  Both times, I made it home with only a minor amount of walking after I’d parted ways with her.    Here’s the worst part, though.  In my “Camelbak” (a small backpack that holds water), I had a patch kit, a new tube and tire irons.  The problem was, I had no idea how to use them.

Years ago my husband lovingly placed all the needed tools to change a flat into my “Camelbak” so that I’d be prepared in an emergency.  The one thing we’d never taken time to do was make sure I knew how to use them.  I’ll admit it– I’m spoiled and let him do about 95% of my bike maintenance  (I pump up the tires and hose it off when it’s muddy, that’s about it).

After my second flat, I called my husband.  “I think it’s time for me to learn how to change a tire.”

That night, he gave me a lesson.  I wasn’t 100% confident in my abilities, however I at least knew the basics.

A few days later my husband and I went for a ride.  We’d been on the trail for about 20 minutes when I noticed my front tire going flat.  It was my third thorn of the summer after going years without a flat.   Very frustrating.

We pulled out our tools and I was actually somewhat helpful as my husband found the leak and repaired it with a patch.    So instead of turning around and limping my way home with a deflating tire that continually needed air, we were able to finish our ride and enjoy a sunny summer afternoon.

I’d had the tools on every ride– the difference was that now I knew how to use them.  Even better, I had someone there to help me.

Riding home I started thinking about the study we just started on Gideon.  In Week One of Priscilla Shirer says:

“Like it or not, spiritual warfare exists.  We may never take up arms with a shield and sword like Gideon, but we are no less in a battle every day.  We know it.  We feel it.  Victory requires constant effort to take ‘every thought captive to the obedience of Christ’ (2 Cor. 10:5).  By God’s Spirit, we can be successful—the same way the judges were”  (p. 31).

She then asks three penetrating questions:

1.  “Does the enemy have to think twice about his schemes against your family because of your watchful presence?”

2.  “Do the enemy’s attempts become quickly thwarted because you are alert and prayerful?”

3.  “Are you on guard and aware of the spiritual nature behind physical events in your life?”

I’ll translate her questions a different way to connect to my story:

Do we have the tools we need but fail to us them?

Or how about this:

Do we have the tools but not know how to use them?

God has given us his Word and the Holy Spirit–two incredibly powerful “tools” in our “Spiritual Camelbaks.”   But, have we taken the time to learn about them and how to use them?

Ephesians 6:10-18 is probably the most well-known passage relating to spiritual warfare:

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.

Take a look at verse 17.  Do you see it?  The sword of the Spirit is the word of God!  Knowing God’s word and relying on the Spirit are our best offensive weapons.


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Priscilla Shirer puts it this way:  “Our goal must be to flesh out the truths of God’s Word, open ourselves to His activity in our daily lives, learn from those who are doing it well, and seek to inspire others through our example”  (p. 35).

Time spent studying the Bible is time well spent.  Time spent studying it consistently with others is even better.  Asking God to fill you to overflowing with His Spirit is the best way to meet spiritual attack.

And just like my husband was there to teach me how to use my tools and to help me out on the trail when I got my flat, the Holy Spirit is always there with us once we’ve accepted Christ as our Savior.  When we’re involved in a Bible Study with others, we have them to help us along the way too.  Pray and invite more of His Presence into your life. Pray that God will open your eyes so that you can see where He is at work.  Then, sit back and enjoy the ride.

Walking for Water

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Recently a good friend was telling me about how her kitchen faucet was broken. Her husband was out of town, so she’d put a sign on the faucet to remind herself and her kids to get water in the bathroom.   It was a colossal pain for three days until her husband returned and fixed the problem.  I could empathize with her frustration because I lived without a kitchen for five months during a remodel.

During the time of our remodel, I was reading a book called The Hole in Our Gospel by World Vision President Rich Stearns.  Our whole church read it together over the course of six weeks.  In fact, writing my thoughts about that book was what launched me into the world of blogging.  The book opened the eyes of many people in our church to the tremendous needs existing among vast numbers of impoverished people around the world.  Our church was so moved that we committed to investing time and resources in a village in Ethiopia for the next seven years.  A lasting impact will be made as we build a school, sponsor kids, dig a well and provide support to help the people of Sintaro move from surviving to thriving.

I’ve had a small taste of the frustration of not having water readily accessible.  For the people of Sintaro, this is a way of life.  Three times a day they must hike down a steep ravine to get water from a dirty stream for all of their needs—from cooking to bathing to drinking.  Women and children lug heavy jugs back up the trail to the village.  It’s sobering to think about the amount of time they spend getting water.  Having running water readily accessible is a pretty vital aspect of life.  I think most of us who have it take it for granted.  I know I do.

My husband and I have gotten involved with an event to raise money to dig a well in Sintaro Village.  A team of us has been planning a hike for the community to “walk for water.”  The people of Sintaro do it three times daily.   We’ll do it for an hour on a Saturday to identify with their struggle and raise funds to make a lasting difference.  The sponsorship money hikers  contribute or raise will go directly into a fund to build the well in Sintaro Village.  It’s a simple but exciting opportunity to make a difference.   Registration has been open for the last month and we’re hoping to have at least 100 people participate.  We still have a ways to go to reach that goal, but I’m confident we will.  All it requires is signing up, sponsoring yourself and maybe asking a few  additional folks to sponsor you as well.  If you invite friends, their sponsorships will be matched by an anonymous donor.  Participants will have the choice of walking on a paved trail or hiking on a dirt one for about an hour.  That’s it.  If you can’t hike or won’t be in town, please consider sponsoring someone else or making a donation.

I ‘m hoping we’ll remember the heart behind this event—it’s not about feeling guilty or fulfilling a duty, it’s about aligning ourselves with the heart of God.  I think Jesus says it best:

“When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’”  -Matthew 25:31-40

To get more information or to register for the Hike, click on the link below.

http://www.hikeforsintaro.org

To see a 3 minute video of the hike the Sintaro villagers make three times a day, click on the link below:

Click below to hear a song that will inspire you to bring water to those in need: :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYP5gE-kDjY

I’ll look for you out on the trail October 5th!

Jumping Into Bible Study with Both Feet

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Summer is a grand time of year.  I love the freedom, the spontaneity, and the flexibility.  I love seeing family and friends who I don’t get to see much during the rest of the year.  I love vacations, warm weather and how every week holds the promise of something new and different.  I love the extra time with my kids.

Although our California weather says that it’s still summer, I can feel the fall coming on.  It’s not so much in the air yet as in the ways my preferences are changing.   My kids have started school, which means it’s time for schedules, routines and plans.  As much as I love summer, I’m ready to admit it’s over and move past the dreaded August Angst (see my last blog if you don’t know that term).  I’m ready to re-engage with women at church and Bible Study with more regularity.   I’m excited to open a brand new workbook and dive into a Bible Study that will surely impact me in ways I can’t imagine right now.  I look forward to connecting with old friends and making new ones as we gather to worship and study God’s word together.  Maybe that excitement I feel stems from Jesus words in Matthew 18:20

 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.

 We are not called to be Lone Rangers in our faith, God meant for us to draw near to one another as we draw near to Him.  When we do that consistently, His Spirit moves and works in powerful ways.  Something significant happens when we gather with others to open the pages of the Bible and encourage one another to live out what we’re learning there.

I hope you’re excited too, because we have a great year ahead of us.  Whether you are a member of Focused Living or someone who has found this blog in a different way, I hope that reading along this year will encourage, inspire and challenge you.  Please join the conversation by commenting when something strikes you.  It is good to share what you’re learning along the way.

You might have noticed that my blog’s appearance has changed a bit this fall.  It felt like a good time to freshen up the look, kind of like buying new school clothes.  You’ll see a few changes that I hope will make it more “user friendly”.  Hopefully you’ll learn to navigate it with ease in the months ahead.  I’ll give you a little “tour” to explain it all.  If you are already familiar with the jargon and format of blogs, you may not need this.  I’ve put the subjects in bold so you can skip to the ones you may want to learn about.

Titles

On the top left of the page you’ll see the title “Life in Focus” followed by the sub title “Where following Jesus and Every Day Life Intersect.”  These will appear on the top of the page every time you log in to read my blog.  Below the blog’s permanent title is the post title.  This will change with each new post I ad.  For example, this post is called “Jumping into Bible Study with Both Feet.”  (“Blog” is just short for “Weblog” which is basically like an online diary or journal with multiple entries available for others to read.  “Post” is just a blogging term for an entry- kind of like a single journal or diary entry.)

Photo

On most posts I try to include a photo that will visually connect to some aspect of my post.  I like taking pictures and it is just a way to scratch my creative itch and find a way to make that blog topic memorable.  I’m a visual person and often remember old posts I’ve written by the pictures I put with them.  I hope you like them!

Date/ Comments

-You’ll notice in the upper left corner there is a date.  The date listed corresponds to the date I posted that particular entry so you can have some context for it. Below the date is the word “Comments.”  There may be a number in front of the word indicating the number of comments already made about that post. If you click on the word “Comments” and then scroll down to the bottom of that particular blog post, you’ll see a short bio about me followed by any comments that have already been made about my blog.  Below them, you’ll see a blank field.  Right above it says “Leave a Reply” and inside the blank field it says “Enter your comments here…”  You can type your thoughts about the blog in that box.  (If you don’t click on “Comments” the field for writing one won’t appear at the bottom.)

Home and About

-On the right side of the page at the top you’ll see the word “Home” which just takes you to my most recent post (you would use this if you scrolled down to read older posts and then wanted to go back to the top).  Next to it is the word “About.”  If you click on that, it tells you a bit of background about the blog and its author (me).

Search

-Below “Home” and “About” is a blank field with the word “Search” next to it in a blue box.  If there is a topic you are interested in finding in my blogs, you can type it into the field, click “Search” and see if a post comes up.  This only works if I entered the word you’re typing as a category when I wrote the post.  It is not a 100% reliable way to find topics in older posts (sorry).

Recent Posts

-Below “Search” you’ll see a title that says “Recent Posts.”  It lists titles of the last 5 blog posts I’ve written. If you click on any of them, the post will come up for you to read.

Archives

-Below “Recent Posts” is “Archives.”  You’ll see a list of months starting with the present and going backwards.  If you click on any of these, it will take you to the posts I wrote during that month, starting with the first one.

Categories

-Below “Archives” is the heading “Categories.”  This just lists all the main categories covered in the post.  It is just my brainstorming of all the categories touched on in the post.  (This connects to my explanation of “Search” above).

META

-Below “Categories” is a heading that says “META.”  You pretty much don’t need to worry about this unless you are really into techie stuff.  If you want to join WordPress or want to start a blog, this is where you would do that (but you don’t need to do either of those things to read or comment on the blog).

Follow Blog Via E-mail

-Below “META” you’ll see a heading that says: “Follow Blog Via E-mail.”  Below it is a blank field for you to enter your e-mail address.  Once you’ve done this, click on the blue box below it that says: “Follow.” Clicking “Follow” causes you to receive e-mail notifications anytime I post a new blog.

Facebook, LinkedIn, “More,” and “Like”

-Below my posts you will see the symbols for Facebook and LinkedIn.  If you are a member of Facebook and like a post, you can click the Facebook logo and put a link to my blog on your timeline.  You can also post it on your LinkedIn page by clicking on the LinkedIn Logo.  If you click on “More” you have the option to print the post or to e-mail it to someone else (which is another way to share it if you are not on Facebook).  The “Like” button is for people who are registered on WordPress.com.  It is just a way to show that you liked what you read (a way bloggers on the site communicate with one another and affirm each other).

**Sometimes you may see an advertisement at the end of a blog post.  This is not from me but from the host of my blog (wordpress.com).  Just ignore it and keep scrolling down.  I don’t have control over the content of the ads, so I apologize if you don’t like them.

I think that covers all the details. Hopefully it makes it easier for you to read, navigate and respond to the blog.  I look forward to sharing together as we study God’s word this year!

God Cares About the Small Stuff Too

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Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.  -Psalm 139:23-24

We recently turned the page on our wall calendar and find ourselves in August.  My boys are still in denial about school starting at the end of this month despite the fact that “Back to School” ads are flooding our mailbox daily. I’ve never been a big fan of the ramp up to school and my mind churns at night with all of the things I have to do:  arranging sports carpools, filling in dates on my calendar, scheduling appointments, buying needed supplies, sifting through closets and drawers… the list is endless.  I can spend hours thinking through logistics and trying to make arrangements.

Recently I was having a conversation with another mom who was feeling a bit overwhelmed about the start of school.  A few carefully arranged plans she’d made for the school year had fallen apart unexpectedly and she was frantically trying to re-group.  I spent some time listening to her lament and trying to encourage her.  When I went home that night, I sent her a short e-mail.

“I know logistics and planning can be overwhelming at times.  One thing I’ve learned is that if I’m thinking about it, God wants to hear about it.  My default mode is to worry instead of trusting God with my problem.  I’m try to trust God more with all of my logistical details and watch to see how He works them out.”

She responded with a thought I’ve heard echoed many times in the past.  “I guess I just feel like it’s selfish to ask God about the small stuff.  I should be able to work it out on my own instead of wasting His time.”

Let me be perfectly clear on this.  The notion that God has limited time is absurd.  He exists outside the boundaries of time and always has enough for all of us all the time.  He’s never overwhelmed.  He’s never in a hurry.  Need some Biblical proof?  Check out this passage from 2 Peter 3:8-

“But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.”

God delights in us when we admit that we need Him- even for the small stuff.  The myth of self-sufficiency and personal control keeps us from trusting God in so many places in our lives.  God cares about every detail of our lives—even carpools, school schedules and frustrations at work.

“Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”   Matthew 10:29-31

IMG_5665Can you count how many strands of hair there are on these two heads?  (Yeah, me neither– and I look at them every day!!)IMG_5659I’m learning that when I pray about my logistical frustrations, I’m more at peace with the way things unfold.  Instead of telling God how He should work in a situation, I rely on Him to resolve it according to His will and thank Him that He is trustworthy.  That way, no matter how the situation ends up, I know that it has happened for a reason and I look for the ways God wants to use it in my life.  It’s easier to recognize His hand in a situation when I’ve laid it at His feet in advance.

Praying about my frustrations doesn’t always mean that God answers the way I want or expect.  However, I’m much more apt to accept less-than-favorable outcomes and to look for the ways God is using them in my life.   When my kids don’t get the teachers or coaches I was hoping for I remind myself that God has a reason and I have to trust Him for it.   When I don’t end up with a close friend in my small group at Bible Study, I’ve learned to trust that God has a plan instead of getting indignant.  When the carpool doesn’t work out, I try to enjoy the one-on-one time with one of my sons on the way to practice.  And when my plate is simply too full, I’m learning to see the things God wants me to clear off of it.

Being anxious and trying to orchestrate every detail and logistic just wastes energy and causes angst.   I think Paul must’ve known this when he penned these verses:

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-8

The passage admonishes us not to be anxious about anything.  It also says that in every situation we can thank God for how He’s going to work it out.  Once we lay it before Him, we’re freed up to experience His peace and to wait for Him to work.  When we feel anxiety creeping in, we need to stop and pray: “Guard my heart and mind, God.”

In case you’re still struggling with the idea that God doesn’t want to be bothered with the details, take a minute to think about your own children (if you have them) or your parents.  Loving parents care about the smallest details in their children’s lives.    God cares about details in your life the same way.

The Bible often refers to God as our “Abba,” which is simply the Hebrew way to say “Daddy.”   We are his children, whom He loves and cherishes.  No logistical detail is too small to escape His attention.

“For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.”  The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.”  Romans 8:14-16

It seems like I have a new challenge to trust God with every day.  I have a hard time applying what I’ve written about, but God keeps reminding me to come back after I’ve become too overwhelmed trying to do things on my own.

If you can relate to the August Angst I’m feeling, chime in and share how God is at work in your life through it.

Christians Never Have to Say Goodbye

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Kristi and me in Inverness, Scotland 1991

I wrote a blog about heaven this past December called “Traveling Light with and Eye Towards Home.”  In it, I recounted the story of backpacking in Europe with my friend, Kristi.  What I didn’t mention in that posting was that Kristi was in remission after a nine-month battle with breast cancer.  We didn’t know that it was only a temporary reprieve.  The cancer returned with a vengeance in March of this year.  I had no idea that my blog on heaven would become so relevant so soon.

As Kristi’s health declined, I longed to see her face-to-face and prayed God would show me the right timing to make a trip to her home in Texas.   We’d talked, texted and e-mailed regularly throughout her illness, but it just wasn’t the same as being with her.  At the end of April the timing was right and after getting the green light from Kristi and her husband, I booked a flight to Austin.  Traveling alone, I had some good time to prepare myself emotionally and spiritually.  I also had a number of friends and family supporting me with prayer at home.  I asked God to use me to bless and encourage Kristi and her family.  I was anxious about seeing my spunky friend sick and wondering how the weekend would go.

When I finally arrived at her house, Kristi greeted me warmly and maneuvered across the room to give me a hug. She wore a headscarf and gingerly pushed a walker but her broad smile and cheerful spirit remained intact.  In fact, I was amazed at the amount of things we did over the course of the weekend considering Kristi’s frailty.   Her family was bound and determined to give me a full “Lone Star State Experience” when they found out I’d never been there before.  So, in spite of going to give them help, I got a big dose of Texas hospitality in return.

On Saturday morning I sat with Kristi at a hometown parade watching three of her four kids smiling and waving from one of the floats.  Afterwards, I experienced my first Texas thunderstorm- a two-hour deluge unlike anything we have in California.   I spent a quiet afternoon organizing Tupperware in the kitchen after painting Kristi’s toenails metallic blue (she was in desperate need of a pedicure).  While she was resting, her 6 year-old son appeared in the doorway dressed as Captain America and glumly declared “I’m bored.” As any mom would, I countered “How about showing me some of your toys?”  Thanks to my boys, I knew a thing or two about comic book heroes and Lego mini figures, which earned me serious status as I sat playing with him.  That evening I tasted my first “Texas Barbeque” without a plate or utensils at Rudy’s (a combination of a restaurant and gas station).

Sunday morning I was in charge of loading Kristi’s wheelchair into their Suburban and driving the family to church while her husband competed in a triathlon.   Later that afternoon we attended a family reunion in an adobe house that was over 100 years old.   It was a fun and busy weekend filled with moments of laughter and light-heartedness- definitely not what I was anticipating.

On Sunday morning after church, Kristi and I had a rare moment alone at the house.  Feeling prompted by the Holy Spirit, I asked if I could share Psalm 34 with her, which I’d read in Jesus Calling earlier that morning.  It seemed to fit her circumstances perfectly (funny how the Bible does that…):

“I will extol the Lord at all times;
 his praise will always be on my lips.

I will glory in the Lord; let the afflicted hear and rejoice.

Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt his name together.

I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.

Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.

This poor man called, and the Lord heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles.

The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him,
and he delivers them.

Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.

Fear the Lord, you his holy people, for those who fear him lack nothing.

The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing…The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.  The Lord is close to the brokenhearted 
and saves those who are crushed in spirit”  (Verses 1-10, 17-18).

Later, before leaving for the airport, I found another quiet moment with Kristi and her husband.  It was a blessing and privilege it was to lay hands on them to pray after being apart for the duration of her battle with cancer.  I left feeling at peace, so glad for the time we’d spent together and not entirely sure it was the last time I’d see Kristi in this life.  It seemed like she still had a lot of fight left in he and the family had definitely not given up hope.

As school let out in June, I received word that Kristi’s cancer was spreading and her doctors had run out of viable options for her. I was so glad I’d traveled to see her, but felt I had one more thing to do that I’d been avoiding.  So, I sat at the computer one afternoon and wrote Kristi a letter.  I’d been overwhelmed thinking of how to sum up a friendship that began when we were in 8th grade and spanned so many years.  We’d experienced so much of life together, how could I capture that in a few pages?  With the Holy Spirit guiding me, I wrote a simple letter and sent it with a CD of songs to encourage Kristi and her family.   Here is an excerpt from that letter:

In spite of all these milestone moments we’ve shared, I think the one that means the most to me happened over the course of summer and fall in 1988.  Newly graduated from high school, we both launched in different directions with the same purpose:  working at Christian camps to serve, grow and (of course) have fun.   Working at Houseboats was transformational to my faith and my life choices.  I remember coming home so excited that I finally really “got” my faith and loved God in a way I never really had before.  Returning to life and friends at home was hard and I felt like a stranger in a strange land.   Most people outside my family looked at me like I’d gone a little crazy from being around so many Christians for so long. 

The one exception to this was you.  I can remember talking to you and hearing about your experience at Redwood Camp and realizing that we had both had life-changing and faith-changing experiences that would forever alter the courses of our lives.  I can’t tell you what a relief it was for me to discover that I was not alone and that there was someone who understood the choices I was making and affirmed me for them.  A deeper bond grew between us from that day forward.  Our friendship wasn’t just based on fun times and shared memories, but on a passionate love for Jesus and a desire to follow Him with our lives.

As we headed off to college, we were both set on finding Christian friends and plugging into ministries at our new schools.  Like most of our friends, we both chose to join sororities.  Although the social scene was familiar to us, it felt a bit different now that we’d fully committed to God and were not “riding the fence” as we had in high school days. 

For me, this proved to be pretty challenging at first.  I can remember struggling to find Christian friends among my peers in the Greek System.  As a freshman, I wanted to fit in and make new friends. I called you for some encouragement and you admonished me not to fall back into the lukewarm waters of our high school years and to stand firm in my faith.  You told me it was good for me to stand out as different and pointed out that this could be a great avenue for sharing my faith with a group of people who desperately needed to hear the truth.  I can remember thinking “Wow, God has really given her a strength and conviction that are pretty amazing.”  I don’t know if I ever really told you, but that “pep talk” gave me the courage to press on, to be different and to be a light in a dark place.

If I’ve never said it before, let me say it now:  Kristi, thank you for being a voice of Truth when I needed it most.  The impact you had on me at that time made a significant difference in my life choices.  I’ll never forget your words of encouragement that day or in the days that followed.

Thank you for your partnership in the gospel for these many long years.  I rejoice knowing we will spend eternity praising Him together.

“I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers…I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 1:3a-6

Kristi’s husband read the letter to her on Friday, June 28th.  I’m so glad I responded to the Spirit’s prompting to write it.  On July 2, I received word that my sweet friend breathed her last with her husband at her side.  She was freed from her broken body and finally at home in heaven.

A week after receiving this news, I had a dream about Kristi.  We were having a conversation and sharing some final moments together.  I don’t remember the words, but there was a feeling of warmth and peace between us.  She was smiling, confident and reassuring.   Moments later I awoke in the dark and realized I wasn’t just crying in my dream, but in reality.  As I sat up to wipe away the tears and blow my nose, I felt the relief of emotional release. Adjusting to this new reality has been hard; the sadness churns in me but tears have not flowed very freely.

I am still processing this huge loss, yet there is a peace in me that is deeper still.  Kristi lived every moment pointing people to Jesus until she took her final breath.  The faith and trust she and her family showed in her last 15 months impacted countless people and opened their eyes to God’s saving grace.   He used their hard circumstances to bring about much good in their lives and the lives of many others.

I walk in confidence knowing that I will see Kristi again.  I’ll paraphrase C.S. Lewis’ sentiments from the book A Severe Mercy by Sheldon Vanauken:  Christians never have to say “Goodbye”, only, “Until we meet again.”

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Georgetown, Texas 2013

True vs. Truth

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On June 13, my identity as an Elementary School mom officially ended when my youngest son finished his last day of 5th grade.  During a special breakfast honoring all the “graduates” parents lined the walls of the cafeteria as the kids ate and we all watched a DVD of pictures from their elementary years.  Tears welled up in my eyes as a photo of my son in Kindergarten showed on the screen.  His sweet round face and his smile revealing a missing tooth made my heart ache.

After the party, parents lingered to clean up and share a few moments reflecting on how quickly the years had flown.  The activities that have been woven into the fabric of our lives are now cherished memories:  chaperoning field trips, attending special performances, receiving construction paper projects, displaying clay creations, teaching art lessons, leading reading groups, helping at math stations, and chatting with the crossing guards and other parents on the way to school are all part of our family history now.  They are no longer a present reality.

All of this nostalgia could lead me down a dangerous path of negative thinking.  I could spend so much time thinking about all of the things that will never happen again that I could miss out on embracing this new season my family is entering.  I have two boys on the brink of entering high school and middle school.  So, while it’s true that my kids are older and I won’t be as “hands on” with their schooling, the truth is that I have not lost relevance in their worlds.  I am still very much needed and wanted.

True vs. truth:  it’s a concept that I’ve been thinking about for the last few days as I’ve been working through a new Bible Study book this summer called No Other Gods by Kelly Minter.  She uses the story of Adam and Eve to drive home some powerful observations about what happens when we fixate on isolated things that are “true” but fail to see the larger context of Truth (with a capital “T”).  In case you need a refresher, here’s the story from Genesis 3:

Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?”

            The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”

             “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

            When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig  leaves together and made coverings for themselves.

            Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”

            He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”

            And he said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?”

            The man said, “The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”

            Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?”

            The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

Minter points out that while the serpent did deceive Eve, nothing he said was false in that immediate moment:  they did gain knowledge of good and evil and they did not die immediately (although their disobedience did ultimately bring death into the world).  She quotes Michael Wells of Abiding Life Ministries who says, “Satan will tell us what’s true, but he never tells us the truth.”

I’ve been thinking about that quote all week.  How often do I fixate on what is “true” in the moment, but fail to see the bigger Truth?

There are many times when I let what is true in the moment deceive me and prevent me from seeing the bigger picture.   I can lose perspective when a friend unintentionally hurts me, or when the scale doesn’t show the weight I expect to see.  It might be an unanticipated expense that threatens my confidence in God’s provision.  It could be something big like the news I learned this week: a close friend from high school has been put on hospice care and will soon be going home to Heaven.  It’s true that I am deeply saddened, but the greater Truth is that she has eternal life in Christ and gets to meet Him face to face very soon.   The opportunities to focus on the little “t” and the big “T” are endless.

Armed with my new knowledge of discerning the difference between what is “true” and what is “Truth,” I pray that I will not be so easily deceived.  I don’t want to get so wrapped up in the small things that I fail to recognize the big picture.    Jesus tells us in John 16:33  “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.  In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world.”

Now that’s Truth with a capital “T” that I can believe, no matter what.

Click on the links below to hear two of my favorite songs that show the difference between what is “true” and what is “Truth.”

“Remind Me Who I Am” by Jason Gray

“Never Been Unloved” by Michael W. Smith

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-m9PejEieY