Category: Death

Covenant 101

Standing in a nondescript side room off the church sanctuary, my husband and I were joined by our pastor, best man, and matron of honor. Just moments before, we’d exchanged vows and rings, shared a kiss, and been introduced as “Mr. and Mrs.” for the first time. It seemed anticlimactic to make our triumphant recessional down the aisle directly to a dimly lit room to handle paperwork. With a congratulatory smile, our pastor handed us pens and showed us where we needed to sign our marriage certificate. Accompanied by the license we’d gotten a few weeks earlier, our marriage would now be legally binding. This is probably the closest thing we have in modern times for a comparison to the biblical notion of covenant.

The concept of a covenant appears throughout the Bible starting with Adam and Eve and continuing until all of God’s promises are fulfilled by Jesus. Covenant is defined simply as “a binding relationship based on a promise.”  In his book The Marriage Ref, pastor and author Tyler Scott explains: “The old covenant first began to take shape in Genesis 2.  There, God makes a covenant with Adam in language that is strong, clear and definitive: The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. And the Lord God commanded the man, ‘You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.’” (Genesis 2:15-16, NIV)

The next time we see a covenant is in the story of Noah. After the flood waters receded and the ark came to rest on dry ground, Noah built an altar and made an offering to the Lord to atone for his personal sins. Then the Lord said to Noah: “I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life. Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth.” (Genesis 9:13-16, NIV, bold print added)

God continued to make covenants with people in stories recorded throughout Scripture, despite their sinfulness and inability to stay true to Him.  In the time period of the Old Testament, the two parties of a covenant would cut animals in half and walk between the divided carcasses. This was the symbol of stepping into a covenant relationship with one another. “When the parties of a covenant walked between the pieces of bloodied animal flesh, they were saying, in effect, ‘I will fulfill this covenant—and if I break it, may I be cut into bloody pieces like these dismembered animals.’” God made a covenant like this with Abraham in Genesis 15 when He promised to give him land and numerous descendants through whom He would bless the whole world. He did this “knowing full well that Abraham and all human beings were incapable of keeping the covenant.” (Tyler Scott, The Marriage Ref p. 34-35)

Later in the Old Testament, Abraham’s ancestors were instructed by God through Moses to make animal sacrifices to atone for their sins. The shedding of blood continued to be a central element of reaffirming covenant until the time of Jesus. These sacrifices were offered through the high priest in the tabernacle and later in the temple after it was built in Jerusalem. Author Florence Littauer explains, “There was no access to God without first making a sacrifice. Sin could only be forgiven by the substitution of an animal for the sinner himself—an innocent animal had to die in the place of the guilty man.” (Journey to Jesus, p. 210) Paul touched on this in the New Testament when he explained, “For the wages of sin is death.” (Romans 6:23a, NIV)

When Jesus came as the Messiah, He served not only as the ultimate high priest, but also as the perfect lamb to be sacrificed. Through His death, He made atonement for the sins of humans for all time. The book of Hebrews explains:

“Because God’s children are human beings—made of flesh and blood—the Son [Jesus] also became flesh and blood. For only as a human being could he die, and only by dying could he break the power of the devil, who had the power of death. Only in this way could he set free all who have lived their lives as slaves to the fear of dying…he came to help the descendants of Abraham. Therefore, it was necessary for him to be made in every respect like us, his brothers and sisters, so that he could be our merciful and faithful High Priest before God. Then he could offer a sacrifice that would take away the sins of the people.” (Hebrews 2:14-17, NLT)

The writer of Hebrews goes on to say: “[Jesus] is the kind of high priest we need because he is holy and blameless, unstained by sin. He has been set apart from sinners and has been given the highest place of honor in heaven. Unlike those other high priests, he does not need to offer sacrifices every day. They did this for their own sins first and then for the sins of the people. But Jesus did this once for all when he offered himself as the sacrifice for the people’s sins.” (Hebrews 7:26-27 ,NLT)

The final blood sacrifice for the atonement of sins was made in the New Testament with Jesus’ death on the cross. Just as Abraham cut animals in two “God, through His Son, allowed himself to be torn to pieces—not because He broke the covenant, but because we did. He knew we couldn’t keep our end of the bargain, so he said, ‘I’ll do it for you.  I’ll pay the debt you can never repay.’ God fulfilled both the old covenant and the new covenant.”  (Tyler Scott, The Marriage Ref p. 34-35)

As graphic and awful as the description of blood covenants and sacrifices sounds, our sin is even more horrific to God. Yet, in His mercy, Jesus made it possible for us to be washed clean and made new. We have no need for dismembered animals and bloodshed for covenant agreements anymore. And in our spiritual lives, the requirement for blood to flow has been eliminated because of the sacrifice Jesus made. We’re included in God’s covenant simply by believing in Christ and accepting the part He played for us. And this is good news, indeed. 

What’s most striking about the Lord is that He’s always been faithful to keep His covenants, regardless of our fickle nature as humans. If you feel gratitude for this, “Yes I Will” is a fantastic song by Vertical Worship that provides words to reaffirm your commitment to Him.

Florence Litauer, Journey to Jesus, Hensley Publishing, 2004.

Tyler Scott, The Marriage Ref, Condeo Press, 2011.

The Feast of the Lamb

Touching down on the runway, I switched on my phone as the plane taxied to the gate. My mind buzzed with excitement anticipating the weekend of wedding festivities that lay ahead. As we jolted to a stop, I glanced at a text message I’d received mid-flight and my stomach lurched: a close friend’s father had passed away earlier that morning and her husband had reached out to share the news. Stunned, I froze for a moment before burying my face in my hands as tears began flowing. Though I ached for my friend’s loss, I also rejoiced that her father was no longer suffering from a debilitating disease. The news triggered a surprising wave of personal grief as memories of losing my own dad surfaced. Wiping my eyes and taking a deep breath, I gathered my things as we prepared to exit the plane.

After a phone call with my friend, I pushed the pause button on my emotions and changed gears. We’d flown halfway across the country to gather with extended family for a happy reason—the wedding of our nephew. Over two action packed days, we spent time connecting with family members and old friends to celebrate the marriage of a man and woman who loved Jesus and one another deeply. Standing under massive shade trees bordering a meadow dotted with wildflowers, we watched as our beaming nephew awaited his radiant bride. Although the surroundings were picturesque, what caught my attention most was the deep joy that permeated the wedding. It was clear that these two had been covered in prayer throughout their lives. Both sets of parents had prayed fervently for the Lord to lead their children to godly spouses who would complement them perfectly. Their marriage was starting on a firm foundation and the wedding celebration was evidence of God’s faithful provision.

Scanning the crowd during the reception, I marveled at the many meaningful connections there were between the guests. With so many godly and faithful people there, the overlaps in ministry and friendship were plentiful. I loved reconnecting with a mentor I hadn’t seen since college and was thrilled to meet people with common connections to friends and ministries I’d served with in the past. It was an amazing array of faith-filled people and felt like a foretaste of the great wedding feast prophesied by John in the Bible:

 “Then a voice came from the throne, saying: ‘Praise our God, all you his servants, you who fear him, both great and small!’ Then I heard what sounded like a great multitude, like the roar of rushing waters and like loud peals of thunder, shouting:

‘Hallelujah! For our Lord God Almighty reigns. Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready. Fine linen, bright and clean was given her to wear.’ (Fine linen stands for the righteous acts of God’s holy people.)

Then the angel said to me, ‘Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!’ And he added, ‘These are the true words of God.’” (Revelation 19:5-9, NIV)

If you’re unfamiliar with this passage, it’s describing the celebration that will occur after the final judgement: “God’s people are arrayed in fine linen, clean and white because Christ’s shed blood has washed away their sins. They are presented righteous and pure to their bridegroom, Christ. At the marriage supper, individual believers are guests, but collectively they are the bride.”* This links to many passages where Scripture uses a groom and his bride as a picture of God and His people in the Old Testament and Christ and the Church in the New Testament (most notably in Ephesians 5:22-32).

This brings me to an unlikely comparison– I felt the same deep joy that characterized my nephew’s wedding a few weeks later at the memorial service for my friend’s dad. Once again, people gathered to celebrate, only this time it was for the life of a man who met Jesus as a young dad and followed Him passionately for the next four and a half decades. Throughout the service, we heard stories about his love for the Lord and how it informed every aspect of his life in his home, his leisure time, and his career. A lump formed in my throat trying to sing the words to “How Great Thou Art” and “Amazing Grace.” It was overwhelming to worship the God who had used this gifted, yet humble, man to love and serve so many. 

Sitting at the service surrounded by old friends once again made me think about the great wedding feast of the Lamb. I’ve learned to savor those sweet moments at weddings and funerals when we get to pause, reflect, and recognize God’s goodness. There was a deep fulfillment in celebrating with others who faithfully followed Jesus and who were intent on seeing His kingdom advance on earth. Over time I’ve discovered that a significant bond connects those who walk the narrow path that leads to life described in Matthew 7:13-14. 

I realized both events gave a glimpse of what’s ahead for all who call Jesus Lord and Savior. One day all believers will gather at the Feast of the Lamb to worship Jesus together. I can only imagine the many joy-filled reunions between old friends and family members that will take place.  After years of following Him, we’ll see Jesus face to face and revel in His glory and grace collectively. 

As I reflect on those recent celebrations, I can’t help but think of people attending who couldn’t fully comprehend or appreciate what was taking place because they didn’t know Jesus. They were unable to access the spiritual significance or marvel at God’s faithfulness like the rest of us. They couldn’t recognize the Lord’s amazing handiwork because they had no context for it. My heart should ache for them more than it does. My prayer is that the Holy Spirit will prompt me to sow seeds of faith liberally in the lives of others in hopes that they recognize and receive God’s tremendous love. 

Kristian Stanfill’s song “Even So Come” paints an inspiring picture of waiting faithfully for our Bridegroom to return. As you listen, imagine the joyful reunion you’ll experience with Jesus one day, then go and share it with someone else so they can be a part of it too.

*Halley’s Bible Handbook, Zondervan, 2000, p. 958 

When God’s Abundance Turns Sour Circumstances Sweet

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In Faithful, Abundant, True:  Three Lives Going Deeper Still Priscilla Shirer says:  “As I’ve considered different seasons of my life, it’s occurred to me that I’ve often been waiting on my circumstances to change before feeling like I can experience God’s abundance.  We often think:  If I can just get out of this season and into the next one, then I know abundance will be waiting for me.  If I can just get out of this disappointing, frustrating circumstance I’m in, then I know I’ll experience God’s best”  (p.68).

Like Priscilla, this thought process has occurred in different seasons of my life.   One time that stands out was my freshman year in college when it felt like all of the comforts and security of home were stripped away from me.  Instead of embracing the exciting new phase I’d entered, I grieved the end of my childhood.  Making meaningful connections with new friends was a struggle and I longed to be known and valued.  I viewed my new surroundings in Southern California with a critical eye and compared everything to home.   Nothing met my unrealistically high standards.  I thought: If I could just leave this place, I would be happier.

In spite of my struggles, I knew I had to figure out how to make things work.  I grew up in a home where “We Don’t Quit” was a motto—I could even picture the paper with my dad’s printing written in green felt pen and pinned to my brother’s bulletin board.   I didn’t want to give up so easily after all the hard work of getting into college and I certainly didn’t want to disappoint my family.

So, in the midst of my intense loneliness, I turned to God– the only One I felt really knew and loved me in this strange place so far from home.  For the first time in my life I needed and wanted to spend time studying His word to find truths that would sustain and encourage me.  I poured out my heart in prayer, sharing my struggles and heartaches.  I listened to Christian music at night as I fell asleep.  It bathed my mind with God’s comforting promises, which seemed more relevant to me than they ever had before.

As the school year progressed, I slowly began to accept my new surroundings, to find friends and to enjoy Christian fellowship.  By the time my parents came to collect me in June, I realized that I was leaving a little piece of me behind as we drove up back to Northern California.  More importantly, my relationship with God was stronger and deeper than it had ever been in my life.

In the midst of my misery and loneliness, I’d discovered the abundance of God’s love and the reassurance of knowing that He would always be with me.  By removing me from the comfort and security of my earthly home, He showed me that my ultimate comfort and security came first and foremost from Him.  God took my sour outlook and sweetened it slowly as He revealed Himself to me during that difficult year.

There have been many other times when I’ve struggled through hard things. Difficulties are always going to pop up, but that doesn’t mean we just have to grit our teeth and white-knuckle our way through them.  God is there with us and has things to show us through our struggles.  Priscilla Shirer says it well:  “The abundant life is not when no impossible situations occur and you’re experiencing peace, joy, and happiness.  While that’s nice, true abundance is really seen when you’re sitting in a prison circumstance, when you’re eye to eye with an impossible situation, and right in the heart of your impossible, you experience the fullness of God”  (p.69).

Seven years ago I found myself staring impossible right in the face and felt hopeless to do anything about it. My Dad’s health was rapidly deteriorating as a debilitating neurological disease ravaged his mind and body.  Although we loved each other, we’d never had a great relationship.  We’d both made feeble attempts to connect at various times in life, but they never produced much.  As I watched him decline, I despaired that I’d lost the chance to develop a close relationship with him because of his compromised state.

And then, right in the heart of impossible, God showed up and made the last two weeks of my Dad’s life our sweetest time together.   He gave me the courage to initiate sharing thoughts with my Dad that I’d never been able to verbalize before.  Although his ability to think and speak was painfully slow, he responded and we had several tender conversations.  It was the first time we shared honestly how we felt about each other without the usual awkwardness or sarcasm that characterized our relationship.   By the time my dad passed away I had a peace about our relationship that had eluded me for my entire life.  I’d thought my Dad’s illness had eliminated any possibility of having a meaningful connection with him, but God used it to bring us together in a way I never would have anticipated.

Ironically, the relationship with my dad that had been such a source of pain and hopelessness for me was the catalyst that launched me into sharing my writing with others.  After my dad passed away, I wrote about our final days together and submitted it for consideration in an anthology of short stories.  To my surprise, the story was chosen and published in 2013 in a book called When God Makes Lemonade:  True Stories that Amaze and Encourage.  I was humbled to discover that God often uses the hardest things in our lives to reveal Himself to us.  Reading the book has showed me the authors of the other stories experienced something similar.
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The truth is we get access to God’s power when we lay our weaknesses and difficulties at His feet.  The apostle Paul knew this when he wrote 2 Corinthians 12:7b-10:

“Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

When we take our hard circumstances and our weaknesses and entrust them to Jesus, we invite Him to bring change.  Sometimes He changes the hard things we’re dealing with, sometimes He gives us the courage to take action, but often He changes our perspectives more than anything else.  There is no circumstance too large or too small for Him.  Paul tells us God is “able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us” (Ephesians 3:20).  We can have great hope remembering that He can go beyond our wildest imaginings.

Is there a sour circumstance in your life?  Maybe something that seems impossible to change?   God can and will work to bring sweetness to it in His perfect timing.  He is able.  Are you willing to let Him show you?

For added perspective on this topic, click on the link to listen to Laura Story’s song “Blessings.”  It will show you how God uses hard situations to change us and to show us a new perspective.

Christians Never Have to Say Goodbye

Kristi and Marybeth Inverness '91

Kristi and me in Inverness, Scotland 1991

I wrote a blog about heaven this past December called “Traveling Light with and Eye Towards Home.”  In it, I recounted the story of backpacking in Europe with my friend, Kristi.  What I didn’t mention in that posting was that Kristi was in remission after a nine-month battle with breast cancer.  We didn’t know that it was only a temporary reprieve.  The cancer returned with a vengeance in March of this year.  I had no idea that my blog on heaven would become so relevant so soon.

As Kristi’s health declined, I longed to see her face-to-face and prayed God would show me the right timing to make a trip to her home in Texas.   We’d talked, texted and e-mailed regularly throughout her illness, but it just wasn’t the same as being with her.  At the end of April the timing was right and after getting the green light from Kristi and her husband, I booked a flight to Austin.  Traveling alone, I had some good time to prepare myself emotionally and spiritually.  I also had a number of friends and family supporting me with prayer at home.  I asked God to use me to bless and encourage Kristi and her family.  I was anxious about seeing my spunky friend sick and wondering how the weekend would go.

When I finally arrived at her house, Kristi greeted me warmly and maneuvered across the room to give me a hug. She wore a headscarf and gingerly pushed a walker but her broad smile and cheerful spirit remained intact.  In fact, I was amazed at the amount of things we did over the course of the weekend considering Kristi’s frailty.   Her family was bound and determined to give me a full “Lone Star State Experience” when they found out I’d never been there before.  So, in spite of going to give them help, I got a big dose of Texas hospitality in return.

On Saturday morning I sat with Kristi at a hometown parade watching three of her four kids smiling and waving from one of the floats.  Afterwards, I experienced my first Texas thunderstorm- a two-hour deluge unlike anything we have in California.   I spent a quiet afternoon organizing Tupperware in the kitchen after painting Kristi’s toenails metallic blue (she was in desperate need of a pedicure).  While she was resting, her 6 year-old son appeared in the doorway dressed as Captain America and glumly declared “I’m bored.” As any mom would, I countered “How about showing me some of your toys?”  Thanks to my boys, I knew a thing or two about comic book heroes and Lego mini figures, which earned me serious status as I sat playing with him.  That evening I tasted my first “Texas Barbeque” without a plate or utensils at Rudy’s (a combination of a restaurant and gas station).

Sunday morning I was in charge of loading Kristi’s wheelchair into their Suburban and driving the family to church while her husband competed in a triathlon.   Later that afternoon we attended a family reunion in an adobe house that was over 100 years old.   It was a fun and busy weekend filled with moments of laughter and light-heartedness- definitely not what I was anticipating.

On Sunday morning after church, Kristi and I had a rare moment alone at the house.  Feeling prompted by the Holy Spirit, I asked if I could share Psalm 34 with her, which I’d read in Jesus Calling earlier that morning.  It seemed to fit her circumstances perfectly (funny how the Bible does that…):

“I will extol the Lord at all times;
 his praise will always be on my lips.

I will glory in the Lord; let the afflicted hear and rejoice.

Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt his name together.

I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.

Those who look to him are radiant;
their faces are never covered with shame.

This poor man called, and the Lord heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles.

The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him,
and he delivers them.

Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.

Fear the Lord, you his holy people, for those who fear him lack nothing.

The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing…The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.  The Lord is close to the brokenhearted 
and saves those who are crushed in spirit”  (Verses 1-10, 17-18).

Later, before leaving for the airport, I found another quiet moment with Kristi and her husband.  It was a blessing and privilege it was to lay hands on them to pray after being apart for the duration of her battle with cancer.  I left feeling at peace, so glad for the time we’d spent together and not entirely sure it was the last time I’d see Kristi in this life.  It seemed like she still had a lot of fight left in he and the family had definitely not given up hope.

As school let out in June, I received word that Kristi’s cancer was spreading and her doctors had run out of viable options for her. I was so glad I’d traveled to see her, but felt I had one more thing to do that I’d been avoiding.  So, I sat at the computer one afternoon and wrote Kristi a letter.  I’d been overwhelmed thinking of how to sum up a friendship that began when we were in 8th grade and spanned so many years.  We’d experienced so much of life together, how could I capture that in a few pages?  With the Holy Spirit guiding me, I wrote a simple letter and sent it with a CD of songs to encourage Kristi and her family.   Here is an excerpt from that letter:

In spite of all these milestone moments we’ve shared, I think the one that means the most to me happened over the course of summer and fall in 1988.  Newly graduated from high school, we both launched in different directions with the same purpose:  working at Christian camps to serve, grow and (of course) have fun.   Working at Houseboats was transformational to my faith and my life choices.  I remember coming home so excited that I finally really “got” my faith and loved God in a way I never really had before.  Returning to life and friends at home was hard and I felt like a stranger in a strange land.   Most people outside my family looked at me like I’d gone a little crazy from being around so many Christians for so long. 

The one exception to this was you.  I can remember talking to you and hearing about your experience at Redwood Camp and realizing that we had both had life-changing and faith-changing experiences that would forever alter the courses of our lives.  I can’t tell you what a relief it was for me to discover that I was not alone and that there was someone who understood the choices I was making and affirmed me for them.  A deeper bond grew between us from that day forward.  Our friendship wasn’t just based on fun times and shared memories, but on a passionate love for Jesus and a desire to follow Him with our lives.

As we headed off to college, we were both set on finding Christian friends and plugging into ministries at our new schools.  Like most of our friends, we both chose to join sororities.  Although the social scene was familiar to us, it felt a bit different now that we’d fully committed to God and were not “riding the fence” as we had in high school days. 

For me, this proved to be pretty challenging at first.  I can remember struggling to find Christian friends among my peers in the Greek System.  As a freshman, I wanted to fit in and make new friends. I called you for some encouragement and you admonished me not to fall back into the lukewarm waters of our high school years and to stand firm in my faith.  You told me it was good for me to stand out as different and pointed out that this could be a great avenue for sharing my faith with a group of people who desperately needed to hear the truth.  I can remember thinking “Wow, God has really given her a strength and conviction that are pretty amazing.”  I don’t know if I ever really told you, but that “pep talk” gave me the courage to press on, to be different and to be a light in a dark place.

If I’ve never said it before, let me say it now:  Kristi, thank you for being a voice of Truth when I needed it most.  The impact you had on me at that time made a significant difference in my life choices.  I’ll never forget your words of encouragement that day or in the days that followed.

Thank you for your partnership in the gospel for these many long years.  I rejoice knowing we will spend eternity praising Him together.

“I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers…I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 1:3a-6

Kristi’s husband read the letter to her on Friday, June 28th.  I’m so glad I responded to the Spirit’s prompting to write it.  On July 2, I received word that my sweet friend breathed her last with her husband at her side.  She was freed from her broken body and finally at home in heaven.

A week after receiving this news, I had a dream about Kristi.  We were having a conversation and sharing some final moments together.  I don’t remember the words, but there was a feeling of warmth and peace between us.  She was smiling, confident and reassuring.   Moments later I awoke in the dark and realized I wasn’t just crying in my dream, but in reality.  As I sat up to wipe away the tears and blow my nose, I felt the relief of emotional release. Adjusting to this new reality has been hard; the sadness churns in me but tears have not flowed very freely.

I am still processing this huge loss, yet there is a peace in me that is deeper still.  Kristi lived every moment pointing people to Jesus until she took her final breath.  The faith and trust she and her family showed in her last 15 months impacted countless people and opened their eyes to God’s saving grace.   He used their hard circumstances to bring about much good in their lives and the lives of many others.

I walk in confidence knowing that I will see Kristi again.  I’ll paraphrase C.S. Lewis’ sentiments from the book A Severe Mercy by Sheldon Vanauken:  Christians never have to say “Goodbye”, only, “Until we meet again.”

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Georgetown, Texas 2013