Category: Temptation

The GOAT 5a: Adultery & Divorce

Continuing our march through the greatest sermon of all time, we come to Jesus’ teaching on some hard topics: adultery and divorce. Just glancing at the headlines in any gossip magazine shows us the standards He sets reveal a sharp contrast to what we see in the world today. In this section of the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus continues to raise the bar, admonishing us to be faithful in our relationships. 

He starts by expanding on the 7th Commandment found in Exodus 20:14: “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.”(Matthew 5:27-30, ESV)

Like His discussion on the relationship between murder and anger in Matthew 5:21-26, Jesus again explains that what happens in the heart leads to sinful behavior. Here He addresses the root issue of adultery: lust. While there are times we may admire someone’s appearance, lust moves into the driver’s seat when we take a second look. When we ruminate about that person sexually and let our minds roam freely, we’re headed for trouble.

Jesus uses exaggerated language here to make His point, telling us to gouge out our eyes or cut off our hands if they’re leading us to sin. He’s using hyperbole to get our attention, not telling us to maim ourselves. Being faithful in our relationships means guarding our hearts (Proverbs 4:23) and taking extreme measures to avoid sin. The writer of Hebrews encourages us to “Throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” (Hebrews 12:1, NIV)

What might you need to “throw off” to be faithful in your relationships? What distracts or detracts from the people that matter most to you? Is there someone who influences you negatively? A website that leads you down a bad path? A social media platform that takes your thoughts in a negative direction? Are there books, magazines, or movies that make you fantasize unrealistically and see your spouse as less appealing? Maybe it’s time to cut them out of your life.

Jesus continues with another weighty topic: “It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” (Matthew 5:31-32, ESV)

The Bible gives two clear grounds for divorce: (1) sexual immorality (mentioned here and again in Matthew 19:19) and (2) abandonment by an unbeliever (mentioned in 1 Corinthians 7:15). There are other instances not explicitly mentioned in Scripture such as abuse or addiction where separation may be warranted. The goal of separation should be for one or both spouses to pursue help and healing with the hope of reconciling. Meeting with a godly, trained counselor to confront issues and challenges should take place before ever considering divorce. Even in the two instances where there are biblical grounds, divorce is not required or even encouraged in Scripture. Confession, forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration are the goal. Divorce should only be viewed as a last resort.

While the world sees divorce as a valid option for almost any reason, we can see God’s original intent for marriage in the first couple, Adam and Eve: One man and one woman in a committed, loving, lifelong relationship. God intends for such faithfulness in a relationship to reflect His forever love for His people: “I will betroth you to me forever;  I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion.” (Hosea 2:19, NIV) God designed marriage as an illustration of the love and commitment between Himself and His people: “’For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.” (Ephesians 5:21-32, NIV) 

Despite these teachings in Scripture, most of us have been exposed to the pain caused by divorce. If you haven’t been divorced yourself, you’ve witnessed its ripple effects in family members and friends who have experienced the deep hurt it causes. That pain is part of the reason Scripture says God hates divorce (Malachi 2:15-16). Note that it does NOT say God hates divorced people. Nothing could be further from the truth. God’s love and grace are open to us all and there are no second class citizens in the Kingdom of Heaven.

For those who are married or hope to get married, the chances of maintaining a healthy marriage and avoiding divorce increase as we keep our focus on Jesus and let Him guide our relationships: “Contrary to what’s been reported for years, the divorce rate [for Christians] is not 50 percent; it’s more like 30 percent. And then we find that people who keep God at the center of their home and family stay married at far greater rates, and even thrive within those marriages. One of the reasons for this is that those whose first commitment is to the lordship of Jesus put fewer expectations upon their spouses to meet emotional needs that only God can meet. The lessening of unrealistic expectations gives marriages a stronger foundation upon which to withstand difficult times.”*

Sanctus Real’s song “Lead Me” describes the challenges and benefits of fighting for a healthy marriage. After the song, scroll down for some additional resources to maintain a healthy marriage.

Resources to support your marriage:

CPC Danville’s Marriage Mentoring program. Click here for more information.

Making Love Last by Laura Taggert

Becoming Us by Beth and Jeff McCord

I would be remiss not to address pornography, which is a huge issue related to these topics. Here are few articles for you:

“What Does the Bible Say About Pornography?”

“Is Pornography Addiction an Acceptable Reason for Divorce?”

*Quote from article: “Is The Divorce Rate Among Christians Truly The Same as Among Non-Christians?”  

Portions of this post were inspired by Tyler Scott’s sermon at CPC Danville “The GOAT: The Sermon on the Mount Part 5”

Lead Us Not into Temptation

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Two sides struggled for control of my heart, mind, and life. It was almost like I had a cartoonish angel and devil on each shoulder. I loved God and called Jesus my Savior, but I continued in a pattern of sin that kept me from growing and thriving in my faith. No one knew how much I struggled with the weight of guilt and shame. Praying to confess my sin felt futile and insincere because temptations were all around me and I couldn’t withstand them.

A turning point came when I left my environment and spent a season surrounded by solid believers who were passionate about Jesus. This time away from my normal routines and influences allowed me to discover and experience God in a deeper and more personal way. Once I got a taste of His goodness and grace, I didn’t want to go back. 

I began praying that God would lead me away from the temptations that made me stumble and veer off course. Over time the Lord answered those prayers and soon I found that activities that had tempted me previously stopped having the same allure. I wanted God more than I wanted the sins that had held me hostage for so long. I think that experience highlights the essence of the closing lines of the Lord’s Prayer: “And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.” (Matthew 6:13, NIV)

This part of the prayer reminds us that we need God’s guidance because, left to our own devices, we gravitate towards what tempts us. Temptation is defined as “a condition of things, or a mental state, by which we are enticed to sin, or to a lapse from faith and holiness.” All of us need God’s help to withstand temptations so that we can avoid sin.

Let’s back up for a moment to see where the Lord leads us when we choose to follow Him:

“The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake.” (Psalm 23:1-3, NIV) God leads us to peace and refreshment. He guides us to do what is right for our good and His glory. 

David’s prayer from Psalm 139 further validates this part of the Lord’s Prayer: “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.” (Psalm 139:23-4, NIV) The Lord leads us to eternal life with Him; following Him involves being humble enough to identify and confess sin.

Scripture also makes it clear that the Lord doesn’t lead us toward sin: “When tempted, no one should say, ‘God is tempting me.’ For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.”  (James 1:13-15, NIV)

And when we find ourselves faced with temptation and wanting to give in to evil desires, it’s good to remember we are not alone. Being tempted is part of being human. The Lord knows our struggles and provides a way out of temptation when we look to Him: “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted. he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”  (1 Cor 10:13, NIV)

Temptation to sin comes directly from the evil one. Jesus warned Simon Peter of this not long before His arrest and crucifixion saying, “Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.” (Luke 22:31-32, NIV) In His warning to Simon Peter, Jesus shows us that the key to fighting temptation is fervent prayer.

The final lines of the Lord’s Prayer again echo David’s prayer: “Do not let my heart be drawn to what is evil so that I take part in wicked deeds along with those who are evildoers; do not let me eat their delicacies.” (Psalm 141:4, NIV) Like Jesus’ example, David recognizes the enticement of sin and asks the Lord to keep him from being attracted to it.

Temptations change as we get older, but the gravitational pull towards sin remains with us until death. Our flesh and spirit battle continually; praying for the Lord not to lead us into temptation and to deliver us from evil demonstrates humble acknowledgement of this fact. When we know our weaknesses and are aware of the areas where we’re likely to fall into sin, we can pray proactively, asking the Lord to guide and protect us.

If you’re ready to take a deeper dive into understanding the power of prayer this summer, check out my new Bible study called Extraordinary Prayer. Click here for more information or see the “Book Table” tab on my website.

Francesca Battistelli’s song “Defender” provides a beautiful picture of how prayer opens the door for God to deliver us from evil and to show us how much better it is to follow His way.

Definition of temptation from Thayer’s Greek Lexicon based on Strong’s Concordance.