Pitfalls of Comparing

I remember friends encouraging me to join different social media platforms when they first launched. Although my curiosity was sometimes piqued, I was hesitant about wading into those waters. Truth be told, the main reason was an acute understanding of my weaknesses. I’ve always been prone to compare myself to others and I have a competitive streak that isn’t always positive. I knew scrolling through pictures and commentary might stir up envy, insecurity, or a critical spirit in me. 

I avoided joining for several years. But once I started posting blogs, a few savvy friends convinced me that if I wasn’t on social media, my writing would be hard to find. So, with reluctance, I joined. Scrolling through posts, I saw the allure and the pitfalls of social networking. Just as I’d suspected, I had to limit my exposure and log out as soon as negative feelings surfaced—whether it was feeling left out, not good enough, judgmental, or annoyed. Now that I’ve been on it a while, I also get reminders of older photos that make me wistful comparing past memories with current realities. Have you noticed that comparisons often seem to trigger strong emotions in us?

Social networking has heightened an issue that’s existed since long before the advent of computers. The tendency to compare and compete is part of the human condition. It has quite a history in Scripture, starting with Cain, who let it consume him to the point of murdering his brother, Abel (Genesis 4). Sisters Leah and Rachel also let competition and comparison taint their relationship. For them, it spurred a baby-producing frenzy that led their husband, Jacob, to father twelve sons and one daughter with four different women. (Genesis 29 & 30)

We see another danger of comparison when the Jews in Haggai’s time compare the smaller temple they’re rebuilding with the grander one from Solomon’s era: “Who of you is left who saw this house in its former glory? How does it look to you now? Does it not seem to you like nothing?” (Haggai 2:3, NIV) Looking back to compare their rebuilding efforts with the larger temple of the past could’ve squelched any motivation they had to keep working. Jennifer Rothschild explains, “The real danger of comparing is possibly missing the real glory. Looking at our lives, callings, and work with eyes of comparison means we can’t see with eyes of faith. It was true that Zerubbabel’s temple was not as outwardly impressive as Solomon’s.” However, a few verses later we read: “‘The glory of this present house will be greater than the glory of the former house,’ says the Lord Almighty.” (Haggai 2:9a, NIV)

Jennifer Rothschild encourages us to be wary of comparison:
“We can’t always see the full potential of something while we’re in the middle of it. We can’t see how the seeds planted by one small act may grow. We fall into the comparison trap and end up stuck in discouragement because we compare what we see to the wrong things.”

So, what’s our response if we want to get a healthy handle on comparison and competition? Let’s look at three New Testament examples and see what we can learn.

God’s Work in Your Life vs. Someone Else’s: After the resurrection, Jesus appeared to His disciples several times. In one instance, He told Peter about some difficult circumstances that would unfold in his future. At that point, “Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them…When Peter saw him, he asked, ‘Lord, what about him?’ Jesus answered, ‘If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.’” (John 21:20-22, NIV)

Jesus confronts Peter’s quickness to compare by redirecting his attention back to Him. His swiftness with refocusing Peter reminds us that when we’re tempted to compare what’s happening in our lives with someone else’s, we’re heading into unhealthy territory– especially in matters of faith. The best response when we’re starting to compare is to turn our attention back to Jesus.

Different Gifts, Strengths & Ministries: Apollos was a gifted teacher who captivated the early Christians with his eloquence. Paul, on the other hand, was less articulate but taught with an incredible knowledge of Scripture. Unfortunately, some believers began dividing into factions, with one group rallying behind Paul and another behind Apollos. Paul addressed this unhealthy competition saying, “When one says, ‘I follow Paul,’ and another, ‘I follow Apollos,’ are you not mere human beings? What, after all, is Apollos? And what is Paul? Only servants, through whom you came to believe—as the Lord has assigned to each his task. I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow.” (1 Corinthians 3:4-6, NIV)

Comparison caused these believers to confuse their priorities. They were making the giftedness and speaking style of their preferred teachers into a competition, completely overlooking the consistent message of the gospel both were preaching. They had lost sight of what was truly important. When we lose perspective and begin comparing different teachers, ministries, or churches it’s time to step back, look at the big picture, and re-focus on how they are each playing a part in accomplishing God’s plans.

The Past vs. The Present: If you’re prone to romanticize the past, take Paul’s words to heart: “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:13b-14, NIV) God may have done amazing things in your past, but remember that He is always on the move doing new things. Don’t get stuck reveling in what once was and miss out on what He’s doing now.

One of my favorite quotes is: “Comparison is the thief of joy” (attributed to Theodore Roosevelt). This phrase realigns me when I’m veering into a negative mindset. Ask the Lord to help you remember this the next time you’re tempted to compete and compare in unhealthy ways.

If, like me, you want to stop the cycle of comparison, let this song give words to your prayers. Click here and listen to Micah Tyler’s “Different.”

Jennifer Rothschild, Take Courage: A Study of Haggai, Lifeway Press 2020, 98 & 99.

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