Tag: 1 John 1:8-9

You Will be With Me in Paradise

Jennifer Rothschild’s Heaven Bible study walks participants through many Scriptures in the Old and New Testaments that give us insights about Heaven. It feels irresponsible and redundant for me to summarize such complex theology and nuanced perspectives in brief blog posts. However, as I’ve worked through her study, personal experiences related to the end of life and Heaven have come to mind. So, instead of unpacking the workbook sessions, I’ll share a few stories that I hope will bring hope and encouragement to you. First up is a reflection on a journey I took with an unlikely companion as her life was coming to a close.

A few times a year I used to walk across the street to my elderly neighbor’s faded blue house. With my young sons in tow, we’d bring flowers from our yard or treats from our kitchen to brighten her day. She didn’t drive and rarely left the house. The first few times we knocked on her door, she was suspicious and stone-faced. She stood at the threshold to shield us from the mess inside as we tried making small talk over the droning of her TV. But behind a tangle of gray hair and a haze of cigarette smoke we were surprised to discover a wry sense of humor and a trove of fascinating stories. With each visit, the door opened wider until one day, she invited us inside.

Over the years Maxine shared fragments of her life story.  Many of the memories were sad, but she recollected them with surprising detachment. In time I pieced together a history that helped me understand her hardened exterior. A bitter divorce from a cheating husband left Maxine feeling rejected and alone. When her younger sister with four small kids was diagnosed with terminal cancer, Maxine moved in to care for her. After the loss of her sister, she stayed to help with the kids and eventually found temporary comfort in the arms of her grieving brother in law. A short-lived romance ended with guilt, shame, and estrangement from the nieces and nephews she’d nurtured through the death of their mom.

Our paths crossed later when she retired and moved into the house across the street to care for her aging mother. Bitterness had already grown deep roots in her heart by then and she remained at a cool distance when we’d stop by to visit. When her mom died a few years later, we didn’t hear about it until several months had passed. Knocking on the door to offer belated condolences, a card and flowers, her gruff demeanor revealed protective layers she’d put on after one too many losses. Still, that act of compassion opened the door for a slowly growing friendship in the years that followed.

One afternoon almost a decade later, I heard from a different neighbor that the “old lady in the blue house” had been taken away in an ambulance. While in the hospital, her doctors determined living alone was no longer a viable option, so Maxine made plans to sell her house and move into a board and care home. Her health continued on a steady decline there over the following weeks. One day I arrived to find her in bed staring vacantly toward the television. Josie, the House Director, was on the phone making arrangements for hospice care. I’d had several conversations with Josie during my visits and we’d bonded realizing we shared a common faith and a desire to see Maxine experience God’s love.

Despite my hopes, discussing spiritual things had never been comfortable between Maxine and me. She knew about my faith and had sometimes poked fun at me for visiting her to earn “Brownie Points” in Heaven. I longed for her to accept God’s love before she died but felt awkward and unsure what to say.  Sitting on the edge of her bed, I breathed a silent prayer for courage. “Maxine, do you know why I’ve been helping you so much?”  She raised her eyebrows, tried to speak and sighed in defeat.  My heart pounded as I continued, “I want you to know that God loves you. I believe He put me in your life to help you, just like you cared for your sister and your mom in their last days.”  She frowned, but I kept talking, “You and I have different opinions about God, but I’m going to keep telling you He loves you until you believe it.”  Unable to retort with her usual sarcasm, she remained quiet until her eyelids grew heavy. Hoping to continue the conversation, I left planning to return the next day.

The phone rang while I was making school lunches for my boys the following morning. “Hi, Marybeth? It’s Josie.” Dreading what she’d say next, I squeezed my eyes shut. “I   wanted to let you know that Maxine passed away last night.”

Disappointment and sadness overwhelmed me.  My throat tightened and tears formed in the corners of my eyes before spilling down my cheeks. How could she be gone already?

Josie continued, “I called to tell you about the last conversation I had with Maxine.”  I wiped my nose and took a deep breath as she continued.  “Every day I told her God loved her, but she never seemed to believe me. Last night I took a chance and asked if she wanted to accept the Lord’s love and be with Him forever. I think she must have known the end was near because instead of rolling her eyes she answered ‘yes.’ Maxine prayed with me to receive God’s love and forgiveness through Jesus. She passed away a few hours later.”

The lump in my throat kept me from responding.  As the tears flowed down my cheeks, I stammered, “You don’t know how relieved I am to hear that. Thank you so much for telling me.”  Hanging up, I dried my cheeks with my sleeve and thanked God for the time He’d given me to show my neighbor she was loved.

Looking back, I see Maxine’s life contained a steady stream of hurt and disappointment that had become the mortar for a thick wall of pride.  A powerful combination of rejection and loss had made her feel unlovable and alone. It had been safer for her to withdraw from the world than to risk being abandoned again. Believing she’d made too many mistakes, she assumed even God wouldn’t want her. Ultimately, her crumbling health dismantled the wall of pride, allowing her to accept a love she could enjoy forever.

Weeks later, two of Maxine’s old friends knocked on my door looking for information about her. There hadn’t been a funeral and they wanted to celebrate her life, so they invited another neighbor and me to have lunch and share stories about her. Many of the snippets I’d heard about her life made more sense with context from her friends. They knew her as a wild, worldly woman with a sharp tongue, a flair for fashion, and bad luck in love. Because she’d cut off contact after moving in with her mom, they never saw the broken old woman she became. Nor did they know she died as the cherished daughter of the King, redeemed by the love of One who would never leave her.

Maxine’s story reminds me of the thief on the cross who believed Jesus was the Savior and heard Him say, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.” (Luke 23:43, NIV) Maybe you’re lamenting the hard heart of a friend or family member. Let Maxine’s story remind you never to lose hope. God can pierce even the thickest wall of pride with His love, mercy and grace—even in the final moments of life. Or maybe you’re someone who doesn’t believe God could love or forgive you. Consider these hope-filled words from the Bible and let them lead you to believe and be saved:

 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son…If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness… If you declare with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” (John 3:16-18, 1 John 1:8-9, Romans 10:9, NIV)

Post inspired by Jennifer Rothschild’s Heaven.  Order your copy using this link.

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A Clean Heart

Playing alone quietly, I accidentally ruined the small toy I’d found to occupy myself. I couldn’t have been more than five, but I still remember the horror of realizing I had broken something that didn’t belong to me. We’d been visiting the home of family friends and, since their kids were the ages of my three oldest siblings, I’d been left to my own devices. On that day, I’d found an old mobile with a dangling yellow bird in a back bedroom. I hadn’t meant to ruin it, I’d only been testing to see how far I could stretch the spring before it would recoil again. But my experiment backfired when I stretched it so far that the spring’s metal bent and stayed extended for good. Realizing my mistake, I decided to hide it and pretend nothing had happened.

Not long after, one of the older kids discovered the mobile and accused me of ruining it. Stammering to cover my mistake, I blurted out the only thing I could think to say, “I, I, just found it that way, it was already broken!”

Everyone knew I was lying, but I wouldn’t admit the truth (until now). I’ll never forgot that moment–it’s the earliest memory I have of not confessing a wrongdoing. Of course, my behavior was simply human nature. It started in the Garden of Eden when Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit, hid from God, and then tried to shift blame when their sin was uncovered.

None of us likes to admit we’re wrong, but confessing our sins to God regularly needs to be a part of our ongoing communication with Him. Unconfessed sin separates us from the Lord and hinders our relationship with Him. It also prevents spiritual growth and hardens our hearts, closing us off to the things God wants to teach us. Confessing our sins consistently helps us to keep short accounts with the Lord and stops us from traveling too far down roads that will lead us away from Him.

One of the best examples of this kind of prayer comes from King David in Psalm 51. It was written in the later days of David’s rule over Israel when he had become powerful, prosperous, and revered. Although he was a wise and godly king, he was far from perfect. In fact, he wrote this Psalm to confess and repent after committing adultery with Bathsheba, getting her pregnant, and trying to cover his wrongdoing by having her husband killed in battle. If you need your memory refreshed, you can read the story in 1 Samuel 11 & 12. This is probably the best-known example of a prayer of confession and repentance in Scripture. David uses several different words for sins in this Psalm including “iniquities” and “transgressions.” These words can be used interchangeably. Here’s how it starts:

“Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge.” (Psalm 51:1-4, NIV)

Using the metaphor of being physically washed, David describes the need for spiritual cleansing from sin. Think about times when you’ve been physically unclean- covered in dirt, sweat, and grime. It feels amazing to shed grubby clothes, step in a hot shower, and rinse off all the filth. But have you ever thought about the ways sin makes you spiritually dirty? Confessing to God allows us to “come clean” and gives that same feeling of refreshment and renewal on a spiritual level. 

Reviewing recent events in your life and confessing specific times that you’ve dishonored God in thought, attitude, or behavior stops sinful ways from getting deeply ingrained in your life. The more quickly you recognize sin and let the Lord root it out, the less hold it has over you. The metaphor of physical washing illustrates this so clearly. The longer we go without bathing, the more effort it takes to get clean. The same is true of our spiritual lives, but the consequences have much higher stakes.

Sometimes we feel bad about having our sin discovered or about the consequences it causes, but how often do we recognize that our sins hurt God? David’s prayer acknowledges this when he says, “Against you, you only, have I sinned.” (Psalm 51:4, NIV). Jesus paid for our sins by choosing to die on a cross. He experienced unthinkable pain to free us from the bondage of sin, yet so often we hold onto behaviors and thoughts that hurt Him deeply.

David understands the severity of his sins and takes full ownership over them. He recognizes that only God’s mercy can save him and cleanse him. He also knows that he needs a clean heart to be restored into a right relationship with God: “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” (Psalm 51:10, NIV) 

David’s request for God to purify his heart exemplifies the second part of confession: repentance. This happens when we recognize we’ve been headed in the wrong direction (away from God) and ask Him to turn us back around. Repentance invites the Lord to realign us with His ways, because confession with no intent to change is hollow and meaningless. 

There is a tension to this, I know. We’ve been saved from sin, yet we continue to struggle with it. Scripture understands this paradox and urges us to press on: “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:8-9, NIV) 

Instead of feeling dread at the thought of owning up to your sins, think of it like you would a daily shower. Our bodies don’t stay clean permanently, so we wash them regularly. We don’t see this as futile, but necessary. In the same way, sin happens in our lives daily, even if we try to avoid it. Confessing it is our chance to reconnect with God and to renew our efforts to follow Him wholeheartedly.  When we lay it before the Lord and let Him cleanse us, we get to start new again. 

In another psalm, David tells us “As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” (Psalm 103:12, NIV) Why not stop now and confess to the Lord? Then thank Him that He doesn’t keep a running tally of your sins.

Confession isn’t a popular topic in the world of music, but For King and Country does have a good song about it. Listen here.