Tag: Colossians 1:11

Balance and Blind Spots

Have you ever driven a car with unbalanced wheels? If so, you’ve probably experienced a vibrating, bumpy ride. Ignoring the warning signs means wearing your tires unevenly and having to buy new ones sooner than you’d like. Or, have you ever driven a car with a huge blind spot? You glance over your shoulder before changing lanes but still miss the car coming up beside you until you nearly collide with it. While balance issues and blind spots are problematic out on the road, they also have detrimental effects in our personal lives—especially when it comes to serving others.

Discovering and using our spiritual gifts feels energizing and inspiring. Doing the good things God has “prepared in advance for us to do” (Ephesians 2:10) brings deep joy and fulfillment. What can be challenging, though, is learning to balance that satisfying sense of purpose with other responsibilities in our lives that require our ongoing attention. Sometimes we’re passionate about opportunities to use our time and gifts, but we must also be discerning about maintaining healthy margin. I’ve learned this (sometimes the hard way) through situations with my immediate and extended family over the past decade.

Seeking the Spirit’s discernment for setting priorities and managing time commitments has become a regular practice for me. I don’t want my household to dread every time I agree to teach, lead, mentor, or serve. So, maintaining a healthy balance between ministering to others, caring for myself, and spending time with my family keeps me from getting burnt out and them from getting bitter.

Our time and energy are finite, so with every “yes” we are inadvertently saying “no” to something else. It’s taken a while to realize the value of having margin and not cramming my schedule completely full. If I give all of my effort, energy, and attention to serving others, I don’t have much left for my family or other personal relationships. We live in a world that leads us to believe we can operate at full capacity 24/7– that we can “have it all” and “do it all” with no fallout or negative consequences. In reality though, we are not limitless. Relationships suffer when we go on autopilot and stop nurturing them.

God gave me perspective on this when I took on a significant leadership role at church just as my mom’s declining health forced her to stop driving. Although others also stepped in to help, I became responsible for accompanying her on most appointments. Some days it felt like I knew my mom’s doctors, medications, and health issues more intimately than my own. I took care of her needs efficiently, but often felt distracted and anxious to move on to the next responsibility in my day.  My mom was keenly aware of how busy life was for me. Time spent with her revolved around accomplishing tasks. Adding time to do enjoyable things together was a luxury I didn’t feel I could afford.

During that season, the Lord revealed a huge blind spot in my attitude. I realized that rushing through time spent with my mom was both hypocritical and unloving. Through the gentle but firm conviction of the Holy Spirit, I stopped treating her like a task to check off on my to-do list. Inspired by Colossians 1:11, I started praying before I’d pick her up, asking for endurance and patience. I wanted God to help me serve her with a spirit of love instead of obligation. When she felt self-conscious about taking time from my other “important” responsibilities, I began reassuring her that she wasn’t an inconvenience or an interruption from “real” ministry. Not only did this improve our relationship, it brought both of us more joy and peace.

If we serve people at church or out in the world, but find the needs of our own families irritating, there’s a blind spot that needs to be addressed. Using all of our energy to pour into others means giving our families a depleted, exhausted version of ourselves. And overlooking them also means we’re missing out on some beautiful ways God can use us and forge meaningful family relationships. First Corinthians 13 describes what love looks like: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV) Is there something in this description that convicts you? Will you commit to asking the Lord to help you with it? Let’s strive to show this kind of love to people we serve in ministry, as well as our families and those we encounter out in the world.

If you’re like me and struggle with wanting to say “yes” to all the things, consider where you might be out of balance. Before agreeing to the next exciting ministry endeavor, pause to pray for God’s clear leading. Ask your family and/or wise friends if they think it’s the right fit and timing; humbly allow them to identify any blind spots you may be missing. Consider your season of life and the other responsibilities you already have. Taking time to evaluate before diving in allows you to say “yes” or “no” with confidence. Serving with balance and without blind spots brings joy to you and blessing to everyone else in your life.

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Want to learn more about healthy balance? Check out Lisa Terkeurst’s book: The Best Yes.

Interruptions as Invitations

“We interrupt this regularly scheduled program to bring you this special announcement.” Do you remember those words cutting in while you were watching TV? The interruption was usually followed by a piece of breaking news about the death of someone noteworthy or a shocking event. Once the news anchor shared the information, he or she would end by saying, “And now, back to our regularly scheduled program.” 

Many of us view interruptions to our lives as detractors from our “regularly scheduled programs,” don’t we? Whether it’s minor annoyances or major events, we don’t like having our plans derailed. This makes me think of Mary, the mother of Jesus, who experienced the most profound life interruption of all. We learn in Luke 1 that she was a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph. During a shocking visit by the angel, Gabriel, Mary learns that God has chosen her to be the mother to the Messiah and that the child will be conceived miraculously by the Holy Spirit. Despite her fears and questions, Mary responds to the angel’s news by saying, “I am the Lord’s servant…May your word to me be fulfilled.” (Luke 1:38, NIV)

Think about the plans she must have been making for her upcoming wedding and the dreams she had for her life with Joseph. Imagine how upsetting it would have been when Gabriel appeared to tell her God had a different plan in mind for her. Most of us don’t like even small interruptions to our plans, but Mary’s story helps us see that interruptions are invitations into God’s bigger story. Her example can inspire us to shift our perspectives so we can be open to how God may want use interruptions for His greater purposes. 

As an unwed teenager, Mary’s pregnancy could have caused many hardships for her, including accusations of adultery and rejection by Joseph, judgement from her community, and even eligibility for the death penalty. In spite of these challenges, she saw herself as God’s servant and agreed to go along with His plan. She didn’t know how things would work out, but she did know who would work them out for her. She trusted God and didn’t fret about all of the potential problems that lay ahead. She was open to Him, no matter how disruptive His plans would be to her life. It’s humbling, isn’t it? 

It could be tempting to view Mary’s story as a one-time miraculous occurrence and to read it without considering how we can apply it personally. However, her response can challenge us to be mindful of the ways He wants to bless too. Scripture shows us that trusting God turns interruptions into “unanticipated opportunities.” Consider this perspective: “God’s plan for the world is disruptive: it breaks into our daily lives and calls us beyond our own concerns. It breaks into history and calls us beyond what conventional wisdom or societal expectations would demand. It bores into our hearts and turns our attention from ourselves onto others and orients us to God.”1

Although I’ve never been visited personally by an angel, God has placed some major interruptions in my life to invite me into His bigger story. This doesn’t necessarily mean something that is public or affects a huge number of people. God’s bigger story can be any situation that refines our characters, prompts spiritual growth, or impacts others.

I experienced one of these “unanticipated opportunities” over a two-and-a-half-year span as my mom’s health started to fail. Once stubborn and independent, she began needing more and more support to deal with every aspect of her life. Since I was the only one of her kids who lived nearby, I gradually began managing her medical care, housing, finances, insurance, and social connections.

Caring for my mom was incredibly challenging with the other responsibilities already on my plate. There were many times when I felt overwhelmed, anxious, and even a bit resentful. At first, I saw meeting her needs and taking her to appointments as interruptions to my regularly scheduled life. I would squeeze them into my packed schedule and often feel anxious and impatient when they took longer than anticipated. But over time, the Holy Spirit helped me to see them as opportunities to love and care for my mom. As I slowed down and made more time for her, our relationship changed for the better.

I often prayed borrowing Paul’s words from Colossians 1:11, asking God to strengthen me with His power so that I would have endurance and patience with my mom. He answered those prayers and also gave me a compassion for her that I hadn’t felt previously. Over two years, the Lord helped me to prioritize my time and enabled me to find a rhythm that allowed for a tender relationship to develop between us. I was so grateful for this when she was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer. 

My involvement with my mom intensified during her four months on hospice. I didn’t think twice about clearing my schedule and managing her care. God had used the previous interruptions to prepare me for this last big one. We had some sweet moments together in the four months before she went home to the Lord. Although it was a deeply painful season in my life, God enabled me to honor, serve, and love her with both words and actions. I would have missed out on some significant moments if I’d been unwilling to yield to that divine interruption.

Think about what Mary would have missed if she’d refused to be interrupted by God. What if she’d told Him she wasn’t interested in having Him wreck her plans? I think her example can be an inspiration for each of us to consider how God’s interruptions are invitations into His bigger story. 

I know it seems counter-intuitive to lean into what causes pain and frustration, but will you pray and ask God to give you an attitude like Mary’s? The Lord can use whatever interruption you’re facing to transform you and to bless others through you. It’s a hard process, but also an opportunity to feel God’s nearness and to access His strength in ways we don’t experience in good times.

Let the words of “Breath or Heaven (Mary’s Song)” by Leanna Crawford become your prayer through whatever interruption you’re encountering in this season. Click here to listen.

1. “Mother Mary and Father Abraham: Vocation as Participation in God’s Incredible Plan” by Katharine Mahon, 7-14-17. Click here to read the full article.