Tag: Ephesians 2:10

Balance and Blind Spots

Have you ever driven a car with unbalanced wheels? If so, you’ve probably experienced a vibrating, bumpy ride. Ignoring the warning signs means wearing your tires unevenly and having to buy new ones sooner than you’d like. Or, have you ever driven a car with a huge blind spot? You glance over your shoulder before changing lanes but still miss the car coming up beside you until you nearly collide with it. While balance issues and blind spots are problematic out on the road, they also have detrimental effects in our personal lives—especially when it comes to serving others.

Discovering and using our spiritual gifts feels energizing and inspiring. Doing the good things God has “prepared in advance for us to do” (Ephesians 2:10) brings deep joy and fulfillment. What can be challenging, though, is learning to balance that satisfying sense of purpose with other responsibilities in our lives that require our ongoing attention. Sometimes we’re passionate about opportunities to use our time and gifts, but we must also be discerning about maintaining healthy margin. I’ve learned this (sometimes the hard way) through situations with my immediate and extended family over the past decade.

Seeking the Spirit’s discernment for setting priorities and managing time commitments has become a regular practice for me. I don’t want my household to dread every time I agree to teach, lead, mentor, or serve. So, maintaining a healthy balance between ministering to others, caring for myself, and spending time with my family keeps me from getting burnt out and them from getting bitter.

Our time and energy are finite, so with every “yes” we are inadvertently saying “no” to something else. It’s taken a while to realize the value of having margin and not cramming my schedule completely full. If I give all of my effort, energy, and attention to serving others, I don’t have much left for my family or other personal relationships. We live in a world that leads us to believe we can operate at full capacity 24/7– that we can “have it all” and “do it all” with no fallout or negative consequences. In reality though, we are not limitless. Relationships suffer when we go on autopilot and stop nurturing them.

God gave me perspective on this when I took on a significant leadership role at church just as my mom’s declining health forced her to stop driving. Although others also stepped in to help, I became responsible for accompanying her on most appointments. Some days it felt like I knew my mom’s doctors, medications, and health issues more intimately than my own. I took care of her needs efficiently, but often felt distracted and anxious to move on to the next responsibility in my day.  My mom was keenly aware of how busy life was for me. Time spent with her revolved around accomplishing tasks. Adding time to do enjoyable things together was a luxury I didn’t feel I could afford.

During that season, the Lord revealed a huge blind spot in my attitude. I realized that rushing through time spent with my mom was both hypocritical and unloving. Through the gentle but firm conviction of the Holy Spirit, I stopped treating her like a task to check off on my to-do list. Inspired by Colossians 1:11, I started praying before I’d pick her up, asking for endurance and patience. I wanted God to help me serve her with a spirit of love instead of obligation. When she felt self-conscious about taking time from my other “important” responsibilities, I began reassuring her that she wasn’t an inconvenience or an interruption from “real” ministry. Not only did this improve our relationship, it brought both of us more joy and peace.

If we serve people at church or out in the world, but find the needs of our own families irritating, there’s a blind spot that needs to be addressed. Using all of our energy to pour into others means giving our families a depleted, exhausted version of ourselves. And overlooking them also means we’re missing out on some beautiful ways God can use us and forge meaningful family relationships. First Corinthians 13 describes what love looks like: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV) Is there something in this description that convicts you? Will you commit to asking the Lord to help you with it? Let’s strive to show this kind of love to people we serve in ministry, as well as our families and those we encounter out in the world.

If you’re like me and struggle with wanting to say “yes” to all the things, consider where you might be out of balance. Before agreeing to the next exciting ministry endeavor, pause to pray for God’s clear leading. Ask your family and/or wise friends if they think it’s the right fit and timing; humbly allow them to identify any blind spots you may be missing. Consider your season of life and the other responsibilities you already have. Taking time to evaluate before diving in allows you to say “yes” or “no” with confidence. Serving with balance and without blind spots brings joy to you and blessing to everyone else in your life.

Was this forwarded to you? You can receive new posts automatically in your inbox by going to www.marybethmccullum.com, entering your e-mail address and clicking “subscribe.”

Want to learn more about healthy balance? Check out Lisa Terkeurst’s book: The Best Yes.

The GOAT Part 5b: Yes & No

Reading Jesus’ words in the Sermon on the Mount about saying “yes” and “no” has gotten me thinking about our commitment-phobic, over-scheduled culture. He says:

“Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘Do not break your oath, but fulfill to the Lord the vows you have made.’ But I tell you, do not swear an oath at all: either by heaven, for it is God’s throne; or by the earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.” (Matthew 5:33-37, NIV)

Jesus’ teaching in this passage is not to deter us from saying the Pledge of Allegiance or taking an oath in court. His point is if you are a person of integrity, then your word is your bond. As followers of Jesus, any oath or vow we make should be considered redundant because we’ll keep our word anyway.

So, what’s the practical application for this in daily life? Here are a few ideas for you to consider:

-Give a definitive “yes” or “no” rather than leaving others hanging: Don’t let that invitation sitting in your inbox remain unanswered for weeks. Respond to the person who has asked you to consider a volunteer position. Don’t procrastinate on making a decision by not giving an answer.

-Avoid over-scheduling and over-committing: Saying “yes” when you can’t follow through on a commitment does more harm than being honest and saying “no.” Have you ever been at an event or in a group with someone who is over-committed, stressed out, or not really engaged in it with you? It doesn’t feel good, does it? Similarly, it’s unloving and unfair to others when we say “yes” to serving and then don’t keep our commitments or do them half-heartedly.

-Follow through: If you say you’re going to arrive somewhere or be home at a certain time, be on time. If you say you’re going to attend an event, make it a priority to be there.  This shows others you’re trustworthy and that you value and respect them.

-Be “All In”: Are you ever guilty of being physically present somewhere but not really relationally engaged with the people there? Don’t fall into the trap of trying to be multiple places at once. When your attention is divided and you’re distracted thinking about the other place you need or want to be, your “yes” isn’t whole-hearted. 

-Avoid having an automatic default answer: Some of us are “yes” people and some of us are “no” people. While there are valid reasons to accept or decline, sometimes we give the quick and easy response without really considering what we’ve been asked to do. Some of us say “no” to avoid leaving our comfort zones or having our routines disrupted. Others of us say “yes” to please people or to keep ourselves busy. Scripture tells us “we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” (Ephesians 2:10, NIV) This means we need to seek the Lord’s wisdom and prayerfully determine which specific things He’s calling us to do or not do rather than having an automatic answer for any request.

If you tend to be a “yes” person, a good practice before diving into something is to think about how your other commitments will be affected. If you have the time and desire to say “yes,” consider how it will impact people in your life too. Our families often bear the brunt of too many “yes” answers to others.

If you tend to be a “no” person, pause and consider what you might be missing by declining. Is there a new friendship or growth opportunity that could bless you by saying “yes”? Are you resisting God’s prompting to use a gift or skill you have that would benefit someone else? Is your “no” motivated by fear, apathy, or selfishness? Ask God to help you figure out the root issue before giving your answer.

If you tend to be a “maybe” person who is in the habit of being unresponsive or giving unclear answers to others, can I encourage you to consider their perspective? Do you think they’re feeling respected and valued by you? Are they sensing the love of Jesus flowing from you? Our actions usually speak more loudly than our words. This includes our failure to act by giving no response.

Next time an opportunity or invitation comes your way, pray first and evaluate whether you have the time and inclination to give it your all. Then, be confident in delivering a clear “yes” or “no” answer and be joyful in the decision you’ve made.

Resources:

If you’d like to grow in discerning when to say “yes” or “no,” you may be interested in:

What Happens When Women Say “Yes” to God by Lysa Terkeurst

The Best “Yes” by Lysa Terkeurst

Portions of this post were inspired by Tyler Scott’s sermon “The GOAT: Sermon on the Mount Part 5” at CPC Danville on July 4, 2021. Click here to watch.

Spurring Us Onward

A feeling of anticipation pulsated through the air like an approaching electrical storm. It seemed the whole Bay Area stood poised on the brink of something momentous that October. The year was 2010 and the San Francisco Giants were headed to the World Series. It had been over 50 years since they’d won the title and a rabid fan base was ready to cheer them on to victory. It seemed impossible not to get caught up in the euphoria. 

Prior to that, I’d been a casual fan at best—content to attend a game once a season for the fun of experiencing AT & T Park with our young sons. Sometimes I’d scan the headlines in the sports section to see how the Giants fared, but I didn’t think much about them beyond that.  However, in the fall of 2010 I found myself joining the throngs that rallied around the boys in black and orange. Names of players previously unknown to me rolled off my tongue with ease. On game nights, the TV stayed on through dinner, a rarity in our household. I reveled in the fun of catch phrases like “Fear the Beard”—a reference to relief pitcher Brian Wilson’s dyed black beard. I sang along with everyone else when Ashkon Davaran re-wrote Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing” to be an anthem for the Giants.

And, of course, I got swept up in the emotion and exuberance of watching them take home the title. I’d been spurred on by the enthusiasm that surrounded me and gleefully rode the wave to victory with them. But once the season ended, my interest waned. It had been fun while it lasted, but I didn’t stay invested in the Giants much after that. 

If you’re a fickle sports fan like me, you know this is typical behavior. But, when it comes to our spiritual lives, it’s best to maintain a more consistent commitment. I think the author of Hebrews says it well, “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another- and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:24-25, NIV)

Depending on the translation, the term “spur on” is written in a variety of ways: “stir up,” “provoke,” “stimulate,” “motivate.”  In each case, the idea is the same–we can’t fan the flames of our faith all on our own. Let’s be honest. Life is full and busy and there are dozens of things competing for our attention. If we want to continue growing and pursuing God consistently, we’re going to need others to help us stay motivated. The author of Hebrews gives us a clear explanation of what that includes.

Love: We need other believers to remind us what biblical love is and to model how to practice it. The world likes to tell us that love always feels good, but maintaining a biblical standard for love isn’t easy. Jesus told us to love our enemies (Matthew 5:44). There’s nothing easy or fun about that. And Paul tell us, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7, NIV) Last time I checked, many of those qualities aren’t ones I default to naturally. I need others to keep me grounded in the truth of what love is. I bet you do too.

Good Deeds: I’m full of good intentions, but not always the best on follow through. Can you relate? Scripture tells us, “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” (Ephesians 2:10, NIV) Time spent with fellow believers spurs us on by encouraging us to make doing good works a way of life. Think about how much can be accomplished when we join with others to show God’s love on an even larger scale. Countless organizations doing good in our world began with people who took this call seriously and invited others to join them.

Not Giving Up Meeting Together & Encouraging One Another: The Christian walk isn’t meant to be a solo journey. We need community to keep us encouraged. One of my favorite words in the Bible is “fellowship,” which comes from the Greek word “koinonia.” True fellowship flows naturally when we connect with God and one another simultaneously. But we can’t experience rich relationships if we’re not spending time with fellow believers. Watching sermons online, listening to podcasts, or even engaging in online “communities” are supplements, not substitutes.  There just isn’t an equivalent alternative to face to face interactions if we want to experience deep fellowship, receive personal encouragement, and grow spiritually.

Seeing the Day Approaching: The verse concludes by reminding us that Jesus will return. We’re called to live expectantly, knowing the day will dawn when He’ll come back to reign over the earth. Here’s how Jesus explains it: “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats.” (Matthew 25:31-32, NIV) Notice Jesus says, “when,” not “if.”  Loving others and doing good deeds is how we build His kingdom now and prepare for His eventual return. We spur one another on because we know the end goal.

Without minimizing the reappearance of Jesus, I can’t help but think of the loyal Giants fans who watched and waited for decades to see them win a World Series. They were faithful to their team through good and bad seasons and never wavered in their support. May the same be true for us as we anticipate an event with much greater significance: the long-awaited return of our Savior. 

I’ve included three songs with this post. Choose the one that resonates most with what you’re needing right now:

Enjoy “Come to the Table” by Sidewalk Prophets if you’d like to see the value and significance of meeting together. 

Listen to “Even So Come” sung here by Chris Tomlin for encouragement about pressing on in our faith while we await Jesus.

Just for fun– if you missed the Giants Anthem in 2010 inspired by Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing,” you can watch it here. 

Thoroughly Equipped

I remember the first time my family went to the snow when our kids were very young. Taking a toddler and a pre-schooler on a trip to Tahoe in the dead of winter wasn’t something we could have done without significant advance preparation. Not wanting to invest a lot of funds in gear our boys would outgrow quickly, we devoted our energy to borrowing anything friends would lend us: mittens, boots, jackets, snow suits, socks, long underwear, hats, goggles, and sleds (of course). We knew that forgetting just one of these items would have put a damper on enjoying outdoor activities in the frigid conditions. We had to be thoroughly equipped to create a positive experience. Forgetting even one mitten or boot would have ruined the whole adventure.

In much the same way, God knows that we need to be thoroughly equipped to carry out His will. His Word promises us He’ll give us everything we need for spiritual impact: “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” (2 Timothy 3:16-17, NIV)

Just as my husband and I did the work to provide our boys with the gear they needed for the snow, God does all that’s required to equip us for every good work. He doesn’t miss a single detail. Our responsibility is to study His Word so that we can put on the spiritual equipment He’s prepared for us there. We simply receive what He provides and allow His Spirit to work through us. Scripture reminds us of this several times:

“His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.” (2 Peter 1:3, NIV)

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” (Ephesians 2:10, NIV)

“For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.” (Philippians 2:13, NIV)

Beth Moore explains, “We are equipped and made capable by Scripture even for good works that don’t necessitate sharing the Word. Scripture is just as strategic for equipping the man or woman of God who works in government, stays home with the kids, or fixes car engines. That’s the power of it. The Word of God works wherever the person of God works.” (p. 142)

None of us is exempt from being used by God, no matter what station in life we hold. Looking back over my past, I can see how the Lord used me whenever I made myself available to Him. From college onward, I recognize God’s handiwork–sometimes it was through my actions and quiet influence, other times it was through my words. Each season of my life has afforded new ways to impact others with God’s love and truth. The opportunities to be used by Him have changed with every chapter, but they’ve never ceased.

We’re headed into the home stretch of studying 2 Timothy so it’s time to take stock of what we’ve been learning. “If we get to the end of this study with a good look over our shoulder at the journeys of Paul and Timothy but no clear gaze ahead at the path we’re called to walk with equal tenacity, we will have missed the mission in 2 Timothy’s message. We—common people with common problems–get to carry on the uncommon legacies of Paul and Timothy. To do so deliberately will be to do so most effectively.” (p. 133)

It’s time to pray about how we’ll let this study change us. If we walk away with more head knowledge but no real plan to act on what we’ve learned, we’ll have missed the point. So I’ll ask a few questions to help you clarify your thoughts: How is God stirring in you as you study 2 Timothy? What are you learning about how to turn your vertical focus into a horizontal impact? If you’ve been following Jesus for a while, can you look back and see how God has equipped you previously? Is there anywhere new you sense Him calling you to step outside of your comfort zone? These may be scary questions to answer, but don’t let them intimidate you. Remember that God is trustworthy and He has good things in store for you. All you have to do is let Him equip you. He’s already prepared everything, you just need to tell Him you’re available to receive it.

“Do Everything” by Steven Curtis Chapman gives some good encouragement on this topic. Click on the link to enjoy the song.

Beth Moore, Entrusted: A Study of 2 Timothy, Lifeway Press, 2016.

Yes, No, Maybe So- Sermon on the Mount Part 5

The Sermon on the Mount emphasizes that all people matter to God, one way to show this is by giving a clear “yes” or “no” answer.

FullSizeRender

The invitation has been sitting in my e-mail inbox for a few weeks now. Every time I see it there, it reminds me I haven’t given an answer. Ironically, I haven’t even responded with a “maybe,” although it’s an option the designers of the website include with every invitation.

Reading Jesus’ words in the Sermon on the Mount about saying “yes” and “no” has gotten me thinking about our commitment-phobic, over-scheduled culture. He says:

 “Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘Do not break your oath, but fulfill to the Lord the vows you have made.’ But I tell you, do not swear an oath at all: either by heaven, for it is God’s throne; or by the earth, for it is his footstool; or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make even one hair white or black. All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.” (Matthew 5:33-37, NIV)

Jesus’ teaching in this passage is not to deter us from saying the Pledge of Allegiance or taking an oath in court. His point is if you are a person of integrity, then your word is your bond. As a follower of Jesus, any oath or vow you make should be considered redundant because you’ll keep your word anyway.

It seems people struggle to give clear answers to simple questions in today’s culture. Finding individuals who give a definitive “yes” or “no” is refreshing, but unusual. I think it’s because we have too many demands on our time and we procrastinate in making decisions (my lack of response to the invitation mentioned earlier is a case in point).

People in my life who keep their word are rare gems. When I started writing my blog three years ago, I asked a godly woman to be part of my prayer team. After the first year, she told me she needed to step away from my team to focus on a leadership position in another ministry. I was impressed with her integrity and touched by how seriously she had taken her commitment to pray for me. Later, when her other responsibility ended, she re-joined my team and has continued to cover me in prayer faithfully ever since. That is someone who understands the value of letting a “yes” be “yes” and a “no” be “no.”

Her example is a good reminder to think carefully before we say “yes” or “no.” It’s important to be sure we can follow through or to acknowledge that we are unable to do what is being asked of us. But whatever we do, we shouldn’t leave someone hanging with no response at all.

Many of us habitually avoid or put off giving answers to requests or invitations. When we do this, we unintentionally communicate that the other person doesn’t matter enough to merit a response. This often leads to feelings of hurt or frustration from the one who is awaiting your answer.  When it happens over and over again, it creates bitter feelings and strained relationships. Ultimately, it’s just plain unloving and not exemplifying the life of integrity that should characterize a follower of Jesus. The Sermon on the Mount emphasizes that all people matter to God, one way to show this is by giving a clear “yes” or “no” answer.

Another related issue is the problem of over-committing. Some Christians assume every request made of them must be answered with a “yes” and feel compelled to meet every need they see. However, saying “yes” when you can’t follow through on a commitment does a lot more harm than being honest and saying “no.” There is nothing worse than working alongside someone who doesn’t have time to be serving or who is over-committed, stressed out or not really excited about what they’re doing.

Scripture tells us “we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” (Ephesians 2:10, NIV) This means we need to seek His wisdom and prayerfully determine which specific things He’s calling us to do or not do. A good practice before saying “yes” to something new is to think about how the other commitments you already have will be affected. If you have the time and desire to say “yes,” you also need to consider how it will impact the rest of your life. Our families often bear the brunt of too many “yes” answers to others.

Sometimes we’re tempted to say “yes” to several events happening at the same time and hope to make an appearance at each one for a little while. This can be incredibly unloving when the people who have invited you realize they’ve been squeezed in among many obligations. Doing this makes them feel like they’re part of a checklist rather than people you truly value and want to spend time with.

If you’re in the habit of being unresponsive or giving unclear answers to others, can I encourage you to consider things from their perspective? Do you think they’re feeling respected and appreciated by you? Are they sensing the love of Jesus flowing from you? Our actions usually speak more loudly than our words. This includes our failure to act.

If you’re frequently saying “yes” and then bailing out, maybe it’s time to try a new tactic. Next time an opportunity or invitation comes your way, be sure to pray first and evaluate whether you have the time and inclination to give it your all. Then, be confident in delivering a clear “yes” or “no” answer.

And now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to circle back to that invitation waiting in my inbox. My response is long overdue.