Tag: Matthew 6:12

Forgiving Our Debtors

Pulling up to the curb, the bus parked in front of an odd-looking building. I was tired and unenthused; all of the churches and historic sites in England were starting to blend together. Jet lag and being constantly on the move were starting to wear on me and I was tempted to skip this stop and just stay on the bus. Thankfully, I didn’t.

Stepping onto the sidewalk, I was confused by the building that stood before me. One half looked like a 1950’s era cinderblock church, the other half was the shell of a 14th century gothic cathedral. The two didn’t match at all and the cynical part of me assumed someone with poor taste had designed this strange site.

An enthusiastic tour guide welcomed our group and ushered us inside the newer half of Coventry Cathedral. From the moment he began to speak, I knew this wasn’t going to be a typical tour. Everything in the building had been designed to point visitors to different truths about God, His Word, and what it meant to be an authentic follower of Christ. I could have lingered in that massive building all afternoon contemplating the significance of each symbolic object and space. 

Continuing on, I wasn’t prepared for the most profound part of the tour as the guide led us out of the modern building and into the old gothic cathedral. Although the exterior walls were intact, German bombs had obliterated the roof and interior during World War II. The tour guide explained that shortly after it was destroyed, the cathedral stonemason discovered that two charred medieval roof timbers had fallen in the shape of a cross. He set them up in the ruins and eventually they were placed on the altar amidst the rubble. The words “Father Forgive” were later inscribed on the wall behind the cross.

Seeing the blackened cross and the words behind it brought a lump to my throat. The people of Coventry Cathedral had grasped the magnitude of God’s love when He allowed His son to die on the cross so that the sins of the world could be forgiven. They knew their only option was to offer forgiveness to the very enemies who had destroyed their cathedral.

Their choice to forgive perfectly captures one line in Jesus’ teaching on prayer in Matthew’s gospel: “And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” This is the only portion of the Lord’s Prayer that Jesus expands on further: “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” (Matthew 6:12, 14-15, NIV) There are some powerful lessons we can learn from the example of forgiveness set by the people of Coventry Cathedral.

Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling: The morning after the cathedral was bombed on November 14, 1940, the decision was made to rebuild a new cathedral that would lead the people of Coventry away from bitterness and hatred. My guess is that if they had waited until they “felt” like forgiving the Germans, the church would still be in ruins both spiritually and physically.

Forgiveness is a process, not a one-time event: It took over a decade for the new cathedral to be constructed. The rebuilding process enabled the people to examine their hearts and create a new structure that was a physical manifestation of God’s grace and forgiveness. The second church was built at a perpendicular angle to the original one so that the two buildings form the shape of a cross when viewed from above.

Forgiveness allows God to work in you and others: The bombing of the cathedral ultimately led the congregation to begin a ministry of peace and reconciliation that continues to provide spiritual and practical support in areas of conflict throughout the world. Forgiving their enemies brought emotional and spiritual healing that freed them to help others on their own journeys of forgiveness.

Forgiveness doesn’t require an apology first: The decision to rebuild the cathedral and to use it as a symbol of God’s forgiveness was made while the war raged on with the Germans. The people of Coventry didn’t wait in defiant pride until restitution was paid. They didn’t demand to have the atrocity committed against them be rectified before they forgave. They chose to forgive, and they trusted God to bring justice in His perfect timing.

While Coventry Cathedral provides tangible examples about the keys to forgiveness, the four points I’ve listed come from my personal experiences. I know first-hand how hard it is. I’ve spent much time wrestling with God and His Word as I’ve worked through my pain in the process of forgiving others. If forgiveness were easy, we wouldn’t have needed Jesus to die on the cross to make it possible. Because He did that, we have no choice but to follow His example. 

How could we ever withhold from others the forgiveness that God so freely gives to us?

Click on the link to hear further wisdom on this topic with Matthew West’s song “Forgiveness.” Below the link you’ll find other helpful resources on forgiveness.

For further reading on forgiveness, I highly recommend Lewis Smedes’ book Forgive and Forget.

To learn more about Coventry Cathedral, click on the link:

http://www.coventrycathedral.org.uk/wpsite/

Forgive Us Our Debts

It was a brisk fall evening when the sport utility vehicle sped down our street, lost control around a curve, and mowed down our neighbors’ mailbox. After flattening the wooden post, it was still going fast enough to plow through a hedge and hit our parked SUV, spinning it backwards before slamming it into our garage. The speeding car finally came to a stop on our front lawn. Despite the sturdiness of the vehicle, its front end was a crumpled mass of metal. The sixteen-year-old driver emerged from the mangled car without a scratch. He had been racing his buddies down our street and misjudged the turn in the dark.

As the teenage boys sat on the curb waiting for the driver’s parents and the police, they discussed the incident with great enthusiasm, seeming to revel in the excitement of having totaled not one, but two, eight-passenger vehicles. Although this incident happened many years ago, I’ll never forget the behavior of the driver and his friends; their lack of remorse was stunning. At the time of the accident, my own boys were only six and four. I can remember making them study the smashed cars carefully so that they’d remember the incident when they were old enough to drive.

A few minutes later, the driver’s father arrived on the scene. We exchanged insurance information and he muttered, “I’m sorry this happened.” He never prompted his son look us in the eye and apologize. The boy didn’t return the next day to help clean up the mess in our yard or to replace our neighbor’s mailbox. I’m not sure if he learned any valuable lessons from that incident.

I was reminded of that event as I read the fourth phrase in the Lord’s Prayer this week: “And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” (Matthew 6:12, NIV) Some faith traditions use the terms “trespasses” instead of “debts,” but the concept is the same. In this part of the prayer, Jesus models the importance of identifying and confessing our sins. 

 This isn’t a popular topic in today’s culture. It seems we’ve become a society averse to accepting responsibility for our wrongdoing, let alone labeling it as sin and seeking forgiveness. We shift blame whenever possible. Or even worse, we try to rationalize why the wrong things we’re doing are actually justified. Many in our culture want to excuse or even condone sinful behavior altogether.

To clarify: Sin comes in all forms and includes anything that misses the mark of God’s perfection. Many of us recognize “big” sins like murder, but we don’t realize that God is just as offended by “small” sins that may go unnoticed. As we read the Bible, the Lord convicts us of wrongdoing so we can confess, repent, and return to a right relationship with Him. If you’re not sure how to identify sin, check out Ephesians 5:1-20, Galatians 5:13-26, and James 2:8-17 for a sampling of actions and attitudes that do and don’t please God. This may feel awkward and uncomfortable, but read them prayerfully and be open to what the Lord reveals to you.

No one likes to admit they’re wrong, but for those who call themselves followers of Jesus, this needs to be something we do regularly. When we humble ourselves, admit our sins and seek God’s forgiveness, He offers it freely. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9, NIV) Here’s the catch: we can’t be forgiven personally if we don’t acknowledge our sin.

In his second letter to the Corinthians, Paul addresses the value of godly sorrow and true repentance. Following up on a previous letter he sent that rebuked them for some sinful behaviors, he says: “Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did regret it—I see that my letter hurt you, but only for a little while— yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.” (2 Corinthians 7:8-10, NIV)

Godly sorrow involves repenting–turning away from our sins and going in a different direction. It is grief over the wickedness of our sins. It expresses sadness, understanding the hurt we cause our heavenly Father when we engage in sin. Coming to God with a contrite heart enables us to experience the tremendous grace and forgiveness He offers us through the blood of Jesus.

Conversely, worldly sorrow is self-centered. It is focused on the painful consequences of sin, not on the offense it is to God. It is sorry the situation happened, but it accepts no blame and has no intention of changing. (Sounds like my opening story, doesn’t it?) Worldly sorrow is an apology with words with the goal of placating the offended party, but with no remorse behind it.

It’s easy to get swept up in the attitude of our culture—to want to avoid responsibility for wrongdoing or to explain it away. We receive this message subtly, but constantly. If we follow Jesus, we must be on our guards lest we get lured into this way of thinking.

When was the last time you came before God with a contrite heart, deeply troubled by the hurt you’d caused Him through your sin? It’s never too late to pray and humbly ask for forgiveness. God has so much more to offer us than the world does. The first step to discovering that is our humble repentance.

Cody Carnes’ song “Run to the Father” paints a beautiful picture of the mercy and grace that await us when we confess our sin and seek the Lord’s forgiveness. Jesus already paid the price for it, don’t let your pride hold you back from receiving it.