It was a brisk fall evening when the sport utility vehicle sped down our street, lost control around a curve, and mowed down our neighbors’ mailbox. After flattening the wooden post, it was still going fast enough to plow through a hedge and hit our parked SUV, spinning it backwards before slamming it into our garage. The speeding car finally came to a stop on our front lawn. Despite the sturdiness of the vehicle, its front end was a crumpled mass of metal. The sixteen-year-old driver emerged from the mangled car without a scratch. He had been racing his buddies down our street and misjudged the turn in the dark.
As the teenage boys sat on the curb waiting for the driver’s parents and the police, they discussed the incident with great enthusiasm, seeming to revel in the excitement of having totaled not one, but two, eight-passenger vehicles. Although this incident happened many years ago, I’ll never forget the behavior of the driver and his friends; their lack of remorse was stunning. At the time of the accident, my own boys were only six and four. I can remember making them study the smashed cars carefully so that they’d remember the incident when they were old enough to drive.
A few minutes later, the driver’s father arrived on the scene. We exchanged insurance information and he muttered, “I’m sorry this happened.” He never prompted his son look us in the eye and apologize. The boy didn’t return the next day to help clean up the mess in our yard or to replace our neighbor’s mailbox. I’m not sure if he learned any valuable lessons from that incident.
I was reminded of that event as I read the fourth phrase in the Lord’s Prayer this week: “And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” (Matthew 6:12, NIV) Some faith traditions use the terms “trespasses” instead of “debts,” but the concept is the same. In this part of the prayer, Jesus models the importance of identifying and confessing our sins.
This isn’t a popular topic in today’s culture. It seems we’ve become a society averse to accepting responsibility for our wrongdoing, let alone labeling it as sin and seeking forgiveness. We shift blame whenever possible. Or even worse, we try to rationalize why the wrong things we’re doing are actually justified. Many in our culture want to excuse or even condone sinful behavior altogether.
To clarify: Sin comes in all forms and includes anything that misses the mark of God’s perfection. Many of us recognize “big” sins like murder, but we don’t realize that God is just as offended by “small” sins that may go unnoticed. As we read the Bible, the Lord convicts us of wrongdoing so we can confess, repent, and return to a right relationship with Him. If you’re not sure how to identify sin, check out Ephesians 5:1-20, Galatians 5:13-26, and James 2:8-17 for a sampling of actions and attitudes that do and don’t please God. This may feel awkward and uncomfortable, but read them prayerfully and be open to what the Lord reveals to you.
No one likes to admit they’re wrong, but for those who call themselves followers of Jesus, this needs to be something we do regularly. When we humble ourselves, admit our sins and seek God’s forgiveness, He offers it freely. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9, NIV) Here’s the catch: we can’t be forgiven personally if we don’t acknowledge our sin.
In his second letter to the Corinthians, Paul addresses the value of godly sorrow and true repentance. Following up on a previous letter he sent that rebuked them for some sinful behaviors, he says: “Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did regret it—I see that my letter hurt you, but only for a little while— yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.” (2 Corinthians 7:8-10, NIV)
Godly sorrow involves repenting–turning away from our sins and going in a different direction. It is grief over the wickedness of our sins. It expresses sadness, understanding the hurt we cause our heavenly Father when we engage in sin. Coming to God with a contrite heart enables us to experience the tremendous grace and forgiveness He offers us through the blood of Jesus.
Conversely, worldly sorrow is self-centered. It is focused on the painful consequences of sin, not on the offense it is to God. It is sorry the situation happened, but it accepts no blame and has no intention of changing. (Sounds like my opening story, doesn’t it?) Worldly sorrow is an apology with words with the goal of placating the offended party, but with no remorse behind it.
It’s easy to get swept up in the attitude of our culture—to want to avoid responsibility for wrongdoing or to explain it away. We receive this message subtly, but constantly. If we follow Jesus, we must be on our guards lest we get lured into this way of thinking.
When was the last time you came before God with a contrite heart, deeply troubled by the hurt you’d caused Him through your sin? It’s never too late to pray and humbly ask for forgiveness. God has so much more to offer us than the world does. The first step to discovering that is our humble repentance.
Cody Carnes’ song “Run to the Father” paints a beautiful picture of the mercy and grace that await us when we confess our sin and seek the Lord’s forgiveness. Jesus already paid the price for it, don’t let your pride hold you back from receiving it.