Tag: Session 5

Grieving the Spirit

Isn’t there something magical about a campfire under the stars? Wood crackles and pops as flames dance on a cool, dark night. The light draws people to gather and enjoy the warmth. It creates a sense of connectedness among those who savor the glow together—especially on a chilly evening. 

For the past few years I’ve enjoyed participating in this nightly ritual on our church’s annual mission to Mexico. One year the temperatures were especially cold, so gathering around the campfire was even more enticing. At the end of each evening, the only way to encourage the students to return to their tents was to douse the flames. As buckets of water poured out, steam hissed, rising with plumes of smoke from the quenched fire. Once the water extinguished the flames, everyone scattered to seek warmth zipped inside tents and nestled in sleeping bags.

This image brings to mind the Holy Spirit, often characterized as fire in the pages of Scripture. Acts 2 provides the most obvious example of this: “When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place. Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them.” (Acts 2:1-4, NIV)

Although we no longer see actual flames on our heads, followers of Jesus still have the fire of the Holy Spirit living within us. And just like a campfire, we can stoke the flame of the Spirit, or squelch it. That’s why Paul includes such specific and clear instructions in Ephesians 4 for how to walk worthy of our calling. He says: “And don’t grieve God’s Holy Spirit. You were sealed by him for the day of redemption.” (Ephesians 4:30, CSB) Paul makes a similar statement in another one of his letters: “Do not quench the Spirit.” (1 Thessalonians 5:19, NIV)

These statements astound me– as frail humans, we have the capacity to sadden or squelch God’s Holy Spirit dwelling inside of us. When we walk aligned with the world, the flesh, and the devil instead of in a manner worthy of our calling, we make Him sorrowful, distressed, and heavy-hearted. Author and pastor Megan Fate Marshman explains “Grief is the recognition that something is not as it should be.” It is an “appropriate response to things being out of alignment with God’s plan.”1

Ephesians is a book about unity—first between God and humans, then between Jews and Gentiles—all made possible through Christ’s sacrifice. So, we grieve the Spirit when we choose to break that unity with God and others by sinning. This is why Paul lays out many specific instructions for walking worthy of our calling. 

So, how do we do we avoid grieving or quenching the Spirit? “Let all bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander be removed from you, along with all malice. And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.” (Ephesians 4:31-32, CSB)

Honoring or grieving the Lord has everything to do with how we live—our mindsets, the choices we make, and the way we treat others. That’s why Paul covers so many topics in Ephesians 4 including our sexual practices, our choice to be truthful and trustworthy, and how we speak to one another. The passage above shows that bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, slander, and contempt have no place in the lives of authentic followers of Jesus. Instead, we’re called to be kind, tender hearted, and forgiving.  We’re urged to reject evil and embrace good. 

While I could list many examples and scenarios to illustrate these principles, I think your time would be more wisely spent inviting the Lord to search your heart to make this personal. Consider re-reading Ephesians 4 slowly and asking Him to show you if there are ways you’re grieving or quenching His Spirit. Give God permission to reveal any attitudes or perspectives you’ve adopted from the world that dishonor Him. Let Him shine a light on your behavior toward others that grieves His heart. 

As the Lord brings specific sins to mind, confess them to Him and cancel permission for the enemy to use them as an access point in your life any longer. Command any darkness or evil to leave and invite the Holy Spirit to come and expand His presence in your life.2

 There’s no way to succeed in walking worthy of Christ by trying harder on our own; we were never meant to do that. Thankfully, with the Holy Spirit dwelling in our hearts through faith, we have unlimited access to all the help we need. 

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  • 1. Megan Fate Marshman, Relaxed: Walking with the One Who Is Not Worried about a Thing, Zondervan, 2024.
  • 2. Inspired by Tim Hughes’ sermon, “Are You Hungry?” Park Hill Church Podcast, August 6, 2023. Available on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

Inspired by Ephesians: A Study of Faith and Practice by Jackie Hill Perry, Jasmine Holmes and Melissa Kruger, Lifeway Press, 2024

Walking Worthy

My prayers often include two requests of the Lord: “Show me what You want me to know and show me what You want me to do.” Ephesians often gives answers to both questions. As I’ve been studying it, I keep coming back to chapter four. It includes so much practical wisdom for how God calls us to live. 

In this chapter, Paul shifts from explaining doctrine about God and our standing with Him to describing what it looks like to practice our faith in daily living. Once we understand the grace we’ve received at Christ’s expense, it causes us to live with gratitude for the One who paid it all. Paul starts by saying: “Therefore I, the prisoner in the Lord, urge you to walk worthy of the calling you have received, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, making every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to one hope at your calling.”(Ephesians 4:1-4, CSB) 

Paul’s instructions here aren’t meant to be a list of do’s and don’ts for followers of Jesus. They aren’t rules that keep us in God’s good graces, but heart postures that show our love for Him. Not only do they reveal our desire to live in a way that honors Him but they illuminate God’s character to others who we encounter. Let’s break down Paul’s wisdom in the first half of chapter 4 and explore how we can apply it.

Walk Worthy of Your Calling:  With lives rooted in Christ, we’re meant to bear fruit that reveals the presence of the Holy Spirit. We don’t react in the flesh and let our emotions get the best of us. Instead, we let God’s Word guide us to wise responses that honor Him. When we’re tempted to think another person is the problem, we stop first and examine ourselves. We seek to respond in a way that’s worthy of our calling in Christ so we can reveal His presence in our lives. 

Always be Humble and Gentle: Being humble means setting aside pride and not viewing ourselves as superior to others. As followers of Christ, we never forget we are sinners saved only by grace. Because we’ve received God’s forgiveness, we’re aware of our pitiful state without Him. Remembering this keeps us from becoming self-righteous and condescending. Humility causes us to be gentle—mild, moderate, and kind rather than harsh or severe in our demeanor and actions. Humility and gentleness stand in opposition to the brash, arrogant, and combative ways the world tells us to react.

Be Patient, Bear with One Another in Love: As followers of Jesus, we’re called to remain calm and understanding when faced with frustrating behavior in others. Instead of focusing on their faults, we stop and remember how much God loves us despite our shortcomings. This makes us more apt to be patient with challenging people. Additionally, choosing to love keeps us from letting frustration magnify the faults of others. Patience allows us to remain calm, empathetic, and loving instead of short-tempered and harsh.

Keep United in the Spirit, Bound Together with Peace: Through the bond of the Holy Spirit, believers seek to stay united with one another. Because we have peace with God through Christ, we’re equipped to seek peace with one another. This reflects Jesus’ heart for us: “I am praying not only for these disciples but also for all who will ever believe in me through their message. I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one—as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me.” (John 17:20-21, NLT) God’s intention is for the unity of Christ-followers to prompt others to believe in Jesus. Striving for peace and unity with one another reveals Christ to a cynical world. 

Pursue Spiritual Maturity: Paul continues by explaining that God provides evangelists, apostles, pastors and teachers to equip believers “for the work of ministry, to build up the body of Christ, until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of God’s Son, growing into maturity with a stature measured by Christ’s fullness.” (Ephesians 4:12b-13, CSB) We aren’t meant to stay stagnant but to keep walking forward in our faith; we continue pressing on to know God more intimately and to serve Him more faithfully. As we do this, we grow deeper in our love for Him and our understanding of His goodness. This means we will “no longer be little children, tossed by the waves and blown around by every wind of teaching, by human cunning with cleverness in the techniques of deceit.” (Ephesians 4:14, CSB) 

When we walk worthy of Christ, we reflect God’s deep love for us. Paul urges us to embrace the beauty and unity that come from following this wisdom: “But speaking the truth in love, let us grow in every way into him who is the head—Christ. From him the whole body, fitted and knit together by every supporting ligament, promotes the growth of the body for building itself up in love by the proper working of each individual part.”(Ephesians 4:15-16, CSB)

What is one area addressed in Paul’s instructions that might be worth examining in your life so that you can continue walking forward in your calling? Is it asking the Lord to increase your humility and gentleness? Praying for more patience to bear with others in love? Pursuing peace and unity with fellow believers with whom you differ? Growing in spiritual wisdom and maturity so you’re not tossed around by different perspectives and worldviews? Using your gifts to bless and build the body of believers? Consider prayerfully re-reading Ephesians 4 and inviting the Lord to show you one area He wants to transform in you.

Was this forwarded to you? You can receive new posts automatically in your inbox by going to www.marybethmccullum.com, entering your e-mail address and clicking “subscribe.”

Inspired by Ephesians: A Study of Faith and Practice by Jackie Hill Perry, Jasmine Holmes and Melissa Kruger, Lifeway Press, 2024.