One thing that calms my soul during times like this is remembering that God is never overwhelmed. He’s never frantically looking at a “to do” list and wondering how He’ll ever get to everything on it. He’s never rushed, never frazzled.
I’ve been fantasizing about vacation ever since I returned home. My days were filled with walks, bike rides, trips to the beach and reading for pleasure. The hardest decision I made was whether to have chocolate or rainbow sprinkles on my ice cream bar.
Of course, all good vacations must come to an end. On the day of our return, we pulled into our driveway and were immediately launched into a weekend full of festivities for a family member’s wedding. (Guests arrived at our house for the first event twenty minutes after we returned home). I loved every minute, but didn’t unpack my bag until two days later.
Exhausted from the action-packed weekend, I dreaded the coming week. My inbox was filled with e-mails about the start of school, sports and other activities. Many responsibilities demanded my time and attention. In addition, one of my sons was scheduled to get his wisdom teeth out. On top of this, my other son had a soccer training camp all week, which meant waking up by 6am to get him out the door by 6:30.
In short, I’ve been overloaded since returning from that blissful beach vacation. The weather still feels like summer, but the ramp-up to fall has definitely begun. The lists and piles covering my desk make that abundantly clear. Based on the conversations I’ve had with friends lately, it seems most people are feeling overwhelmed as they prepare for the start of school and other fall activities.
One thing that calms my soul during times like this is remembering that God is never overwhelmed. He’s never frantically looking at a “to do” list and wondering how He’ll ever get to everything on it. He’s never rushed, never frazzled.
There’s been a lot on my plate since returning from vacation, but I haven’t had those usual feelings of being overwhelmed. Ironically, the early morning soccer practices that forced me to get out of bed also created time and space for reading my Bible and praying as soon as my son left each morning. I’ve been reminded that when I choose to spend time in God’s presence before rushing to conquer my day, those frantic feelings dissipate.
What I’m realizing is that rather than being overwhelmed by my schedule or my responsibilities, I want to be overwhelmed by God. I want His love to fill me so that it can flow from me and touch others with the same calming effect that He gives to me.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed right now, run into His arms. Lean into Him and let the truth of His word encourage and sustain you today.
“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” (Isaiah 26:3 NIV)
“Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?… But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6:27 & 33-34 NIV)
There are many things that have the potential to overwhelm us, but there is only One who is truly awesome enough to overwhelm us in all the right ways.
As Christians, our goal is to have our “street views” and “alley views” be consistent. This doesn’t mean we have to put up a façade or act like we’re perfect. It does mean we’re striving to have who we are in private be consistent with who we are in public.
Balboa Island sits like a glistening jewel in Southern California’s Newport Harbor. Getting there involves a short drive across a bridge from the city of Newport Beach or a three -minute ferry ride from the Balboa Peninsula. The 126-acre island has been a popular place for the last century and is always abuzz with activity. People flock there year round to enjoy a variety of water activities, to stroll the perimeter walkway, to shop and to eat a famous “Balboa Bar” (chocolate dipped ice cream rolled in your choice of toppings).
Divided into 1,430 parcels of land, it has been carved up to hold as many people as possible. With real estate at a premium, the small beach shacks that once occupied the island have mostly been replaced by much grander homes. Although they are tightly packed together, they look beautiful lining the tidy streets. All garages are accessed from alleys in the back, hiding the less appealing elements of island life.
As much as I love vacationing at Balboa Island, it usually takes me a day or two to adjust to the close quarters with our neighbors. This summer, I quickly learned the patterns of those living nearby: the little kids two doors away had nightly meltdowns around 10pm. The neighbor behind us hosted dinner guests who enjoyed animated conversations until extremely late into the night. And our next-door neighbor had screeching grandchildren whose noise level was rivaled only by their dog. (I didn’t know it was possible to drink water loudly. I never saw him, but imagine he must have been quite large.)
Of course, none of these people had any idea we could hear them. They weren’t trying to be rude or obnoxious and probably didn’t think about the way their voices carried. After a while we tuned them out anyway, so it didn’t matter much. But it did get me thinking.
I wonder how often we realize the part we play in setting the tone around us. What would my vacation neighbors have said about my family’s noise levels and habits? Could they hear the music we played or my boys laughing and wrestling when they were supposed to be getting ready for bed?
I think most of us have an image of ourselves we like to believe is the acceptable version. To use an analogy from my vacation, I’d call this the “street view.” It’s the public version each of us has that is generally presentable and shows well most of the time.
We also have a version of ourselves that is the less attractive side. I’d call this the “alley view.” This includes the parts of ourselves that we’re less likely to let others see until we know them well (or at all). The alleys on Balboa Island hide trashcans, power lines, broken furniture and a variety of other things that aren’t particularly attractive. The less savory sides of my vacation neighbors revealed whining kids with distracted parents and party guests oblivious to the fact that their revelry was keeping the entire block awake. (And a dog with bad table manners).
As Christians, our goal is to have our “street views” and “alley views” be consistent. This doesn’t mean we have to put up a façade or act like we’re perfect. It does mean we’re striving to have who we are in private be consistent with who we are in public. The apostle Paul’s letter to the Colossians gives us some great instruction on what this looks like:
“12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful…17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” (Colossians 3:12-15 &17, NIV)
I love how Paul describes godly character qualities as clothing we wear for everyone to see. Our compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience are meant to be as obvious to others as the shirts on our backs. Through the Holy Spirit, forgiveness, love, peace and thankfulness flow from us to bless others. We encourage people with our wisdom and all that we do honors God and shows our gratitude for Him.
So, how well does that describe you? If you were staying in close quarters like we did on Balboa Island, what would your next-door neighbor hear echoing from the alley? To get even more personal: How do you think people feel after they’ve spent time with you? Blessed? Encouraged? Refreshed? Drained? Judged? Loved?
What tone do you set in your immediate surroundings? If you aren’t sure, spend some time observing yourself over the next few days and see what you learn. Each of us has the power every day to bless the people in our lives- whether it is the ones we see intentionally or the ones who happen to cross our paths. Let’s commit to living our lives in such a way that whether they’re overhearing us or interacting with us face to face, they encounter the love of God in a way they can’t deny.
There’s a big difference between spending and investing. Once something is spent, it’s gone for good: like spending money on something that will eventually lose its value or become obsolete. Investing, on the other hand, gives a return. When we invest in things that are worthwhile, they return greater rewards.
My heart hammered in my chest as butterflies danced in my belly. Although my only physical activity was the darting of my eyes and the nervous shaking of my knee, I was exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally. I’d spent the past four days waking up several hours before dawn, driving long distances to remote locations and nursing an aching back from sitting on hard, metal bleachers. It was the tenth and final game of my son’s biggest water polo tournament of the year. And although I was only a spectator as the drama unfolded in the pool each day, it often felt like a full body experience. The last game kept the crowd in suspense until the final moments. In the end, my son’s team clawed its way from behind to claim a hard fought victory.
As the teams lined up on the pool deck to shake hands, I asked myself why my family willingly submitted to such a costly experience. Were the “bronze” medals my son’s team wore worth all of the effort? We’d spent a fair amount of money on travel, food, tournament fees, and accommodations. Beyond that, we’d spent our precious vacation time cramming into stands to cheer for our son’s team as it battled for victory in the pool. With each game we experienced a range of emotions from disappointment and frustration to pride and jubilation. Watching the gleeful team celebrate its third-place medal was satisfying, but not the real motivation behind our effort.
My husband and I viewed the time we took and the financial and emotional costs associated with the tournament (and the whole sport for that matter) as an investment in our son. It’s not that we have grand illusions that he’ll get a full ride to college or earn a spot on the Olympic team—it’s more about the life experience and opportunities for character development. Over the years, he’s learned much more than how to play the game of water polo. He’s discovered how to show respect for his coaches and the officials, how to work with a team, how to win graciously and how to handle disappointment maturely. He’s learned a lot about discipline, commitment and hard work. He’s had fun making friends but has also learned how to deal with difficult people and situations. The dollars, time and emotions we’ve spent have been an investment in his character and in his growth toward manhood.
There’s a big difference between spending and investing. Once something is spent, it’s gone for good: like spending money on something that will eventually lose its value or become obsolete. Investing, on the other hand, gives a return. When we invest in things that are worthwhile, they return greater rewards.
Jesus told this story about the value of investing wisely:
14 “Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his wealth to them. 15 To one he gave five bags of gold, to another two bags, and to another one bag, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. 16 The man who had received five bags of gold went at once and put his money to work and gained five bags more. 17 So also, the one with two bags of gold gained two more. 18 But the man who had received one bag went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money.
19 “After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them. 20 The man who had received five bags of gold brought the other five. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with five bags of gold. See, I have gained five more.’
21 “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’
22 “The man with two bags of gold also came. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with two bags of gold; see, I have gained two more.’
23 “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’
24 “Then the man who had received one bag of gold came. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. 25 So I was afraid and went out and hid your gold in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.’
26 “His master replied, ‘You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? 27 Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.
28 “‘So take the bag of gold from him and give it to the one who has ten bags. 29 For whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them. 30 And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’” (Matthew 25:14-30, NIV)
The bags of gold (translated as “talents” in other versions) represent the many resources God gives us to use during our lives. Every day we have a choice to invest them wisely, to squander them thoughtlessly or to keep them to ourselves, as the “wicked, lazy” servant did in the parable.
Thinking about the resources God has entrusted to me causes me to do a bit of soul-searching. It’s good to stop and consider if I’m as intentional with other areas as I’ve have been with my son’s involvement in sports. I try to ask myself periodically if I’m making worthwhile investments with the things listed below:
-My time (Am I following my own agenda? Am I generous or stingy with my time? Am I intentional about managing it wisely?)
-My relationships (Am I reaching out to people who need love and encouragement or focusing only on people who are part of my usual circle?)
-My finances (Am I generous? Do I tithe? Do I give sacrificially?)
-My natural abilities (Do I use them for my own benefit or to bless others and honor God?)
-My spiritual gifts (Do I know what they are? Am I using them regularly?)
-My intellect (What kinds of things do I put into my brain? Am I developing my mind and continually stretching myself to learn new things? Am I using what I know to bless and benefit others?)
-My body (Am I exercising and sleeping enough so I can stay healthy? Do I put too much emphasis on my appearance? Do I have habits with food, alcohol or other substances that are unhealthy?)
-My tangible resources (Am I willing to open my home? Am I willing to help people with needs such as making meals, babysitting, doing extra carpool duty?)
-My spiritual life (Am I committed to growing in my relationship with God and my knowledge of His Word? Can I see signs of growth as I look back over the last few years?)
If one of the categories or questions causes you to stop and think, take some time to pray about it. Ask God to reveal whether or not you are making a wise investment with that particular topic. Let the Holy Spirit guide you and, above all, don’t try to tackle the entire list at once! Invest wisely one step at a time and know that God is saying to you “Well done, good and faithful servant.”
I suspect a few people who read the list above are going to focus on the areas they need to grow and will react by feeling like failures. If you’re tempted to beat yourself up, please don’t. Instead, click on the link below and be encouraged by Casting Crowns’ song “Just Be Held.”
Are you letting the predictable patterns of your life keep you from something new Jesus wants to do in and through you?
San Francisco’s Coit Tower stands 210 feet tall atop Telegraph Hill. As one of the city’s best-known landmarks, it was a regular stop for my parents with out of town guests during my childhood. I still remember tumbling out of our station wagon with my four siblings, my mom and whatever visitors happened to be getting the grand tour. My dad would patiently drive in circles through the packed parking lot as we took in the panoramic view. There was an elevator that went to the top of the tower, but we never made the ascent. With the size of our group and the number of tourists waiting in line, we never had the time to fit it in with all of the other sights. We figured the view from the bottom was good enough—even with the trees and bushes partially obstructing it.
Although I’ve lived in the Bay Area most of my life, it was not until a recent visit to San Francisco that I rode the elevator to the top of Coit Tower with my son. The 360-degree view of the city and all the surrounding areas was worth the time and effort. In one direction, the tall buildings of the financial district rose up in front of the green waters of the bay. Moving a little further around, I could see the iconic towers of the Golden Gate Bridge and the red brick buildings of Ghiradelli Square. Just beyond that, Alcatraz Island stood sentinel in the waters just beyond Fisherman’s Wharf. A little further to our right, the Bay Bridge intersected Yerba Buena Island before continuing across to the city. The view from the bottom paled in comparison.
Sometimes I wonder if we treat our faith like tourists hitting the highlights in a big city. We breeze through a lot of opportunities for growth without engaging them fully or delving deeply. We hear sermons or read devotionals and declare they are “good” but never make time to incorporate the truth we’re learning into our lives. We’re content to make a loop through the parking lot and catch the view from below, not wanting to inconvenience ourselves with the time, effort and cost required to ascend the tower and see the view. We have routines that we follow and agendas to keep. We like what is predictable and manageable for our schedules and we get complacent. Or we pack our weeks so full there isn’t time to engage in anything deeply and we’re hesitant to relinquish any of our precious “free time.”
Inviting God to do new things feels disruptive to our carefully ordered lives. We fear it will be messy and complicated to serve in new places with different people. Sometimes we’re afraid to let God use our gifts in new ways because the results are unpredictable. Although we know He wants to stretch us continually, it just doesn’t seem worth the cost. The time and effort we’d have to expend deter us from pressing on.
Even people who met Jesus face to face struggled with these issues. The gospel of Luke tells the story of three different people who encountered Jesus and claimed they wanted to follow Him. All three ended up turning away when they realized how disruptive it would be to their lives. You can read about them in Luke 9:57-62.
Contrasting that is the story of Jesus calling his first disciples, Peter, James and John. Luke’s gospel describes a day when Jesus preached to the people on the shore of the Lake of Gennesaret as He stood in the boat of a fisherman named Peter. After working all night and catching nothing, Peter and his fishing partners, James and John, sat and listened to Jesus’ teaching. Once He was finished teaching, Jesus directed them to push out from shore and cast their nets even though they’d been unsuccessful the night before. Instead of balking at instructions from a non-fisherman, the men listened to Jesus and caught so many fish their boats began to sink. Their willingness to obey Him brought amazing results and revealed Jesus was no ordinary man. After the miraculous catch of fish, He invited the three to follow Him. They responded in a way that humbles and inspires me:
“So they pulled their boats up on shore, left everything and followed him.” (Luke 5:11, NIV)
Peter, James and John abandoned their predictable lives and began the adventure of walking with Jesus. Their willingness allowed Him to use them in powerful ways. Think what they would have missed if they’d declined when Jesus asked them to follow Him.
Are you letting the predictable patterns of your life keep you from something new Jesus wants to do in and through you? Summer is a good time to evaluate your schedule for the coming year and to consider new opportunities. Is it time to step out of your comfort zone and get involved in something different? Is it time to test out that spiritual gift that’s been simmering on the back burner? Maybe you need to relinquish some of your cherished free time to volunteer or meet a need. Maybe it’s time to evaluate your finances and consider how you can bless others and honor God in new ways.
Will you trust God enough to pray and invite Him to stretch you in a new way? Will you let Him break you out of your routine and discover more joy? The view from the parking lot is nice, but the view from the top is beyond compare. It’s just a matter of letting Him change your vantage point. Are you ready to let Him take you there?
For those abiding in God’s love, joy comes from growing deeper in our walks with Him and helping others to do the same. Conversely, when we don’t remain in His love, we’re not producing fruit–we’re trying to do things through our own effort to prove ourselves.
There is a person in my life that causes me great angst at times. She’s critical of everything about me, always noticing my flaws and mistakes. When I don’t measure up to her standards, she’s ruthless in her criticism. No matter how many positive things I’m doing, she always notices what I’m not doing or what I could be doing more. She’s impatient, jealous and judgmental. She constantly compares me to others.
As much as I’d like to cut this person out of my life forever, I can’t seem to shake her completely. By now you’re probably wondering: who is this awful person? Well, I call her “Old Me.” She’s the person I would be without God’s saving grace; she is my fleshly, worldly self. Sadly, “Old Me” looks a lot like “New Me” on the outside, but her interior life is another story.
“Old Me” seems to show up when I haven’t been spending time with God consistently and renewing my mind in the truth of His Word. She deceives me into thinking I can perform for God to win His favor. She focuses a lot on doing for God and not much on simply being with Him.
I was thinking about “Old Me” recently while reading Tim Chester’s book You Can Change. In it, he points out that many people change their behavior but are still not pleasing to God because their motives are impure. When I think about the person I used to be (and that I can still be at times) I see that many of the things I did seemed good, but my reasons for doing them had more to do with proving myself or pleasing others than anything else. Chester explains: “We don’t do good works so we can be saved; we are saved so we can do good works. ‘For by grace you have been saved through faith…not a result of works… For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.’ (Ephesians 2:8-10).”
“New Me” experiences joy by doing good things God has prepared for me– it’s about responding to His love, not dutifully checking a box to feel good about myself or to gain approval from others. In this frame of mind, my eyes are on God, not on myself. My desire is to please Him because I love Him, not because I’m trying to earn His favor.
One of the best passages that illustrates eliminating “Old Me” so that “New Me” can flourish comes from the gospel of John. In this passage, Jesus speaks to His disciples saying,
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples. As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.” (John 15:5-9, NIV)
Remaining in God’s love impacts our perspectives and enables us to grow and thrive in our faith. The fruit He produces in us blesses and benefits others. (One of my pastors recently pointed out that a tree produces fruit for others to consume, not for its own benefit). For those abiding in God’s love, joy comes from growing deeper in our walks with Him and helping others to do the same. Conversely, when we don’t remain in His love, we’re not producing fruit–we’re trying to do things through our own effort to prove ourselves. For me, this is when “Old Me” tends to rear her head. In Jesus’ analogy of the vine, the withered branches represent “Old Me” and the only thing they’re good for is kindling.
This battle between “Old Me” and “New Me” happens more often than I’d like to admit. Maybe you can relate. We have a choice every day to abide with Christ, to remain in His love and to let Him renew our minds. The alternative is to do things our way. It boils down to a standoff between living in our flesh and living by the Spirit. Let’s not be deceived by our “Old Me’s” anymore. God has already won the battle and we can embrace the truth that we are living under His grace. We are holy, righteous and redeemed, no matter what our old selves may try to tell us.
Mercy Me has an amazing song that speaks this truth. Click on the link to be encouraged by “Greater.”
Chester, Time; You Can Change: God’s Transforming Power for Our Sinful Behavior and Negative Emotions; Crossway, 2010, p. 28
His bags were packed with clean, neatly folded clothes. Including sunscreen was perhaps overly optimistic, but I did hope the toothbrush and toothpaste would see a little action throughout the week. My thirteen-year old son was leaving for camp with our church’s youth group. If last year’s trip was any indicator, he’d come home wearing the same clothes and not having opened his toiletry bag even once. Personal hygiene issues aside, I was excited about his week away. For me, youth camps had always been a significant time of spiritual growth and good, clean fun.
My husband and I sat on the couch with our son a few minutes before his departure and tried to plant seeds for the week. “So, what kinds of goals do you have for camp?” His dad asked. “I dunno,” he said with a shrug. Trying to prime the pump, I threw out a few suggestions, “Maybe there’s one new activity you can try that you didn’t do last year. Or maybe you could make a new friend.” He continued to sit without a glimmer of a response. I forged ahead, trying to sound casual. “I think it’s great to make spiritual goals when you go to camp. Like, maybe you could try reading your Bible or praying every day.” Still nothing. Finally, my husband told him we would just tell God about our goals for his week. He was fine with having us pray for him, but didn’t want to chime in. I wasn’t disappointed in the least. I couldn’t be more pleased that he attends youth group, gets excited to go to camp and likes the Christian music we listen to at home. I know a spiritual foundation is being laid in him and he’s heading in the right direction. I certainly wasn’t mature in my faith at thirteen.
One thing I’m realizing about spiritual growth for people of any age is that it only happens when we position ourselves to receive God’s truth. This happens when we spend time in places and with people who value having a relationship with Jesus. Each decision we make brings us a step closer to God or a step farther away. The more we read the Bible and implement what we’re learning, the more we continue to mature spiritually and see the blessings of living aligned with God’s will.
It’s like driving on a winding road or over a bridge. We know the guardrail on the side is there to protect us from harm and make us feel safe, not to limit our freedom.
Similarly, spending time in places and with people who value God gives us spiritual guardrails that keep us on track in our faith journeys. For my son, it’s youth group, summer camp and parents who pray for him often. For adults I know, it’s participating in Bible study consistently, attending church, enjoying Christian friendship and spending time alone with God. These things keep our hearts teachable and our minds open to the ways God wants to stretch us.
The apostle Paul explains it this way:
“At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another.But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life. This is a trustworthy saying. And I want you to stress these things, so that those who have trusted in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing what is good. These things are excellent and profitable for everyone.” (Titus 3:3-8, NIV)
Those who don’t know Christ live dangerously outside the guardrails that keep people pointed toward God. They are foolishly deceived by passions and pleasures, but think they are living ultimate freedom by giving in to their fleshly desires. Those in Christ, however, have become His heirs and have received the hope of eternal life. Because of this, followers of Christ devote themselves to doing what is good so that their lives bless others and honor God. The hindrances of sin no longer hold them back from living the abundant life God intends.
The ways we spend our time, the people we surround ourselves with, the things we watch, listen to and read all affect our view of God and His plans for us. How are you doing with living inside the protection of His guardrails? Are you pushing against them, enticed by the deceptions of our culture and its definition of “freedom”? What subtle influences pull you closer to Him? Which ones draw your attention away?
Every day the world bombards us with words and ideas that we can accept or reject in light of the truth of God’s Word. When we run towards Him, we remember we are beloved children of the King of Kings. Living inside the guardrails is exactly where I want to be.
Click on the link to hear the inspiring and upbeat song “Who I Am” by Blanca.
Throughout the pages of Scripture, we see examples that show these words are true. But sometimes we forget that the stories in the Bible are real situations that happened to real people. We boil down the spectacular into cute children’s stories and forget that God really did (and does) amazing things all the time.
My mind has been swimming in words for the past week. For six days straight I’ve had books spread over my desk as I’ve been writing curriculum for a Bible study on the women in Jesus’ genealogy. Delving deeply into their lives, I’ve discovered connections I’d never noticed before. For starters, Abraham’s wife, Sarah, and Jesus’ mother, Mary, have something pretty spectacular in common.
You might remember Sarah, from Genesis. At the age of sixty-five she agrees to leave the only home she’s ever known to follow God’s command and move hundreds of miles with Abraham to Canaan. Scripture tells us Sarah is barren. In spite of this, God promises Abraham he will father a great nation one day. After waiting ten years, Sarah begins to lose hope and decides to take matters into her own hands. Following a common practice for her time period, she suggests that Abraham conceive a child with her maid, Hagar. Although the union does produce a son, God makes it clear that the child, Ishmael, is not the one who will fulfill His promise.
Finally, when Sarah is eighty-nine and Abraham is ninety-nine, the LORD tells them the time has come for her to conceive. Sarah will bear a child at the age of ninety. When she laughs at the absurdity of the news, God says to Abraham:
“Is anything too hard for the Lord? I will return to you at the appointed time next year, and Sarah will have a son.” (Genesis 18:14, NIV)
Sure enough, a year later, Sarah gives birth to Isaac, the child promised by God twenty-five years earlier.
In the New Testament, the story of Jesus’ birth shows another version of God doing the impossible. This time, His chosen instrument is not a ninety-year old woman but a young girl, barely in her teens. When an angel named Gabriel visits Mary proclaiming she will be the mother of the Messiah, she asks: “How will this be since I am a virgin?”
Gabriel tells her the child will be conceived by the Holy Spirit and ends his proclamation declaring: “For nothing is impossible with God.” (Luke 1:37, NIV)
I’ve been thinking about these two passages all week. God asks the rhetorical question in the Old Testament: “Is anything too hard for the Lord?” and Gabriel answers it in the New Testament: “Nothing is impossible with God.”
Throughout the pages of Scripture, we see examples that show these words are true. But sometimes we forget that the stories in the Bible are real situations that happened to real people. We boil down the spectacular into cute children’s stories and forget that God really did (and does) amazing things all the time.
The same God who did impossible things in the Old and New Testaments is living and active today. When I forget this, I waste time worrying. For example, if I truly believe God has called me to write the Bible study I mentioned earlier, then why do I still lie awake at night fretting I won’t finish it by the deadline? Or, if I truly believe God changed a Christian-hater like Saul into one of His greatest evangelists, then why do I struggle to imagine Him softening the hearts of certain people I know who need Him desperately?
Reading these stories reminds me that God accomplishes His will in His timing according to His plans, not mine. I can try to manipulate circumstances like Sarah did, but I will never accomplish His purposes without Him.
How about you? Does something seem impossible in your life right now? Are you willing to consider whether it is what God wants for you or not? This might sound scary, but take a risk and ask God to align your will with His. Sometimes He’ll answer your prayer in the way you envision, but often He has a different, better plan. Many times He changes our characters or attitudes instead of our circumstances.
Jesus says, “You may ask me for anything inmyname, and I will do it.” (John 14:14, NIV)
Many of us use the phrase, “In Jesus name” in our prayers because it’s what He instructed us to do. In fact, Jesus says it six different times in the gospel of John alone. Although we may view this as a nice phrase to wrap up our prayers, it’s really meant as an acknowledgement of two things:
1) The only reason we can have a relationship with the Creator of the Universe is because His son paid the penalty for our sin by dying on the cross. We can approach God only because we’ve been washed in the blood of Christ.
2) We want to see His will accomplished, not ours. We affirm that the things we are asking for in prayer align with what Jesus would want for us. Our wills are inconsequential.
So, think back to your “impossible” thing. Is it something that would please God? Or are you trying to convince Him that your will is really the best plan? Does it align with His Word? If you’re not sure, study the Bible, pray and ask Him to make it clear. Understanding God’s will allows you to pray with wild abandon and to celebrate that nothing is impossible for Him.
Click on the link to hear the upbeat encouragement of “Impossible” by Building 429.
Maybe your experience with God is like the night sky I’m accustomed to seeing at home: a few of the brightest stars are visible, but man-made lights and unclean air obscure the majority. We engage God at times, but fail to see the fullness of the life He has to offer because we’re so consumed with doing things on our terms.
Crawling into my sleeping bag, I fluffed my pillow and lay down to gaze at the midnight sky. With the velvety darkness of our remote location, it seemed the sky was ablaze with more stars than I’d ever seen. I immediately spotted the Milky Way and the Big Dipper and wished I knew the names and configurations of the other constellations that burned so brightly.
Each night as I climbed the ladder to the houseboat roof, I looked forward to settling in to enjoy God’s handiwork before drifting off to sleep. Surrounding me were fourteen teenage girls, away for a week of camp with our church youth group. We were one of the twenty-two boats staked on the shores of Lake Shasta to enjoy a week of growing in faith and friendships while participating in team competitions, water sports and nightly worship gatherings. It was a powerful week of experiencing community and basking in God’s love.
Throughout the five days, I continued to be struck by the night sky and how it was a metaphor for the trip. Although the many twinkling stars I admired are always in the sky, it wasn’t until I got away from the lights and pollution of the city that I was able to see them. Similarly, the students and leaders on the trip were accustomed to leading busy lives full of activities, responsibilities and noise. But by removing themselves from the clutter and distraction of daily life, they were available for God’s transforming power to work in and through them. They could see and feel Him consistently.
During the week we had time to discuss biblical truth, to reflect on where we were in our walks with Jesus, to struggle with difficult concepts, to be still before God and to read His Word. We also played hard, laughed often and sang praises to the One who created the beauty that surrounded us. We came home tired, but refreshed; depleted physically but filled spiritually.
Maybe your experience with God is like the night sky I’m accustomed to seeing at home: a few of the brightest stars are visible, but man-made lights and unclean air obscure the majority. We engage God at times, but fail to see the fullness of the life He has to offer because we’re so consumed with doing things on our terms. We want to keep Him contained within our parameters so that life will remain safe and comfortable. When we do this, we forego the beauty of the brilliant night sky because we want security and predictability of a “normal” life. Sadly, this type of living is so focused on controlling our environment that it keeps us from seeing God fully.
In the book of Romans, the apostle Paul invites us to be transformed people that are living sacrifices to God. When we reject the world’s way of thinking and embrace God’s plans for us, we are renewed and transformed. We see Him clearly and allow Him to use us to further His kingdom on earth. Our perspective is changed and we experience the joy and fulfillment of living for Him instead of ourselves.
“Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:1-2, NIV)
Inviting God to transform you is a daily discipline, not a one-time transaction. Over time, He will reveal Himself to you and change you. Ultimately, it’s like getting to see the whole night sky in all of its brilliance. You’ll be left breathless in awe and wonder at the ways God moves and works. You’ll experience the joy of being used by Him when you put your own agenda aside. It isn’t always easy to live this way, but it’s definitely worth it.
Click on the link to hear Phil Wickham’s “This is Amazing Grace.” You’ll be reminded of the rich and abundant life available to us as we live for Jesus and let Him transform us.
I don’t know anyone who likes waiting. In fact, our society seems consumed with finding ways to shorten or eliminate waiting altogether. Advertisements abound with promises of delivering goods and services faster. We are being conditioned to become a culture of impatient people. We want instant gratification and we want it now.
Climbing into the driver’s seat, my sixteen-year-old son started the car and drove us out of the parking lot. Staring at the road ahead, he said, “No offense, Mom, but I can’t wait ‘till I can drive places by myself. It feels like I’m the only one in my grade who doesn’t have a license yet.” He still had a few weeks to go before his driving test and was itching for the freedom his classmates had.
I smiled, remembering my own impatience to take the drivers test on my sixteenth birthday. Much to my humiliation, I failed it not once, but twice. The ongoing waiting and practicing seemed endless to me. Finally, six months after I turned sixteen, I passed the test and could drive on my own. I was a much better driver than I’d been previously. Although I hadn’t liked being humbled and forced to wait, it was the best thing that could have happened to me.
I don’t know anyone who likes waiting. In fact, our society seems consumed with finding ways to shorten or eliminate waiting altogether. Advertisements abound with promises of delivering goods and services faster. We are being conditioned to become a culture of impatient people. We want instant gratification and we want it now.
There are some things, however, that just take time. We are forced to be patient as we wait for a pregnancy to come to term, a job offer to arrive, or a home to be remodeled. We must be patient waiting for physical or emotional healing. Sometimes we have to be patient while we wait for someone else to make a decision that impacts us. But while we wait, a process is unfolding and God is at work. I like to think of it as a flower blooming. A tightly closed bud that is forced to open early will be ruined. Only time and patience will reveal the beauty of the flower as its petals slowly unfurl.
The Bible is filled with characters that had to wait. And while they waited, God was at work in their hearts, minds and circumstances. He was preparing them for His plan and would not reveal it until the time was right.
One of my favorite examples is King David. We learn in 1 Samuel 16 that the God directed the prophet Samuel to anoint David as the next King of Israel at the age of twenty. However, David spent the following ten years of his life hiding in the desert, fleeing from the murderous threats of the current King of Israel, Saul. It was not until David was thirty that he finally took the throne of Israel (2 Samuel 5).
Were those years of waiting a waste? I think not. David had a lot of maturing to do. God used that time to teach him, to humble him and to develop his skills as a leader. David won over the hearts of the Israelites as they saw his character, his integrity and his devotion to God. Despite the people’s love for him, he refused to harm King Saul or usurp the throne, even when others goaded him to do it. He waited until Saul’s death to claim what had been promised to him. And during that time, he wrote many of the Psalms that people have been reading for thousands of years since. David poured out his emotions to God in the lines he wrote. Think what we would have missed if he hadn’t been forced to wait on God. We are blessed by his words because he waited well. Knowing this makes reading the psalms he wrote even more encouraging:
“I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” (Psalm 27:13-14 NIV)
“I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope.” (Psalm 130:5 NIV)
Waiting on God is not waiting in vain. We can live each day knowing that God has placed us where we are for a reason. He has things to teach us at every step of our journeys. Learning to wait well means looking to God to refine your character, to smooth out your rough edges and to build your trust in Him.
After months of waiting, the day of my son’s driving test finally arrived. By the time he pulled into the DMV, he had logged numerous hours behind the wheel practicing in a variety of situations– crossing bridges during rainstorms, navigating the streets of San Francisco at rush hour, crawling down a two lane country road behind painfully slow tractors, driving fast on freeways and slow in suburban neighborhoods. His wait for the freedom of driving alone had been filled with opportunities to learn and improve his skills.
He approached the test with cautious optimism. Being one of the last to turn sixteen, he knew friends who had passed and others who had failed. He was ready for the wait to end and hoped the DMV tester would agree.
The grin on his face when he returned from the driving test told me all I needed to know. It was a satisfying end to a wait that seemed like an eternity to him.
Many of us have been waiting much longer for much bigger issues. If you are in a season of waiting, let me encourage you to spend your energy seeking God and learning to trust Him. If you endure a wait with your focus on your circumstances, you are likely to become anxious, impatient, or bitter. Instead, I encourage you to use the time to pursue God. You’ll find a deeper understanding of Him, an appreciation for His Word and a more thankful heart when your season of waiting comes to an end. Wait well and watch how He uses it to produce wisdom, maturity and faith in you.
The band Tenth Avenue North has a song called “Stars in the Night.” It uses the metaphor of sailors charting their course on the high seas by using the stars. It is an encouragement for Christians to use the promises of God as the “stars in the night” to light their paths and give them hope in dark and confusing times of waiting.
For additional encouragement on this topic, see my post from January 2014 “When Praying Expectantly Wears Thin.”
For years I’ve jokingly referred to myself as a “recovering people-pleaser.” You may recognize the term “recovering” from Twelve Step programs like Alcoholics Anonymous. That’s because just like someone who struggles with addiction, I have to take one day at a time.
My strained smile gave an answer before I even opened my mouth. My husband had spontaneously invited me to cancel my morning plans so we could spend time together. I wanted to say “yes,” I really did. But the hesitation in my response betrayed my thoughts. There were several friends I had plans with that would be disappointed by my last-minute cancellation. It was a true dilemma for a people-pleaser like me. No matter how I answered, I would be letting someone down.
Realizing the struggle I was facing, my husband stayed upbeat. “Sounds like the timing doesn’t work for today. We can do it another time.” He didn’t want me to feel bad, but I still did. He kissed me goodbye and left for the day as I stewed in guilt and frustration. How many times had I found myself in this situation? I hated saying “no” if it meant someone was going to be disappointed, even if it was the right choice to make.
For years I’ve jokingly referred to myself as a “recovering people-pleaser.” You may recognize the term “recovering” from Twelve Step programs like Alcoholics Anonymous. That’s because just like someone who struggles with addiction, I have to take one day at a time. I go through phases where I’m strong and confident and it’s less of an issue and other seasons when I’m racked with guilt anytime I think I’ve failed someone. People pleasers have been around for generations but just so we’re clear, here’s my definition (based on personal experience):
A people pleaser is constantly aware of the wants and needs of those around her. She feels overly responsible for others. She bases her sense of well being on the happiness of others in her presence. She rarely asserts her own wants for fear she will displease others. She often has no opinion because she wants to do whatever makes those in her presence most happy or comfortable. She has trouble receiving kind gestures from others because she constantly feels bad and assumes she is being an inconvenience or an annoyance.
The root of people pleasing is a fear of what others think and a desire for approval based on outward actions. Ultimately, it boils down to insecurity, not courtesy, kindness or love.
Self- Evaluation:
Does the definition make you squirm? Here are a few things to consider as you evaluate your people pleasing tendencies:
-How often do you say, “I feel bad” or “I feel guilty” when you don’t meet an expectation you think someone else has for you?
Before going any further, think about why you feel bad or guilty. Is it because you are worried about what someone will think of you? Is it because you see a need you are unable to meet? Is it because you are choosing to do nothing when you should be doing something? Try to determine the root cause and then either do something about it or stop feeling guilty (which isn’t biblical anyway). When we serve and help others, it needs to be out of love, not guilt.
-How often do you say “I should” or “I had to”?
This can be a sign that your motivation is external rather than internal. Sometimes there are things you genuinely “should” do such as helping someone in an emergency or meeting a need that is appropriate for you to fill. Sometimes we do things because the Bible says we should. They are the right things to do. Other times, however, people pleasers feel they must do certain things in order to meet someone else’s expectations. You don’t “have” to do something just because you’ve always done it or because someone thinks you would be good at it (especially if it’s a volunteer commitment.)
No Joy in Serving
One thing is sure, when you say “yes” because you feel guilty about letting someone down, there will be little joy in your act of kindness. The thrill of saying, “yes” to please another person fades quickly if that is your only motivation. If there is no joy behind your choice to serve, bitterness results. Plus, the person being served doesn’t feel especially loved if your actions are motivated purely by guilt or duty.
Pleasers Confuse Others
People pleasers are confusing or frustrating to others because you never know what they really want. It becomes a guessing game to figure out if their answers are genuine or simply said to please you (this is part of a pleaser’s inability to receive kind gestures from others.)
No- Win Situation
It’s no secret that people are fickle. Trying to please people is a losing battle because they change their minds regularly. It is impossible to please multiple people simultaneously when they have differing opinions. Trying to do it is like attempting to submerge a bunch of Ping-Pong balls in a bucket. There is no way to hold all of them under water at the same time, no matter how hard you try! (I attempted it just to make sure).
Please God, Bless People
The apostle Paul sums this up simply- our goal needs to be pleasing Christ, not others: “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” (Galatians 1:10, NIV) Make it your goal to please God. Doing this will honor Him and ultimately bless others.
Music to Encourage You
Sometimes people pleasers struggle with feelings of inadequacy. We try hard to measure up through earning favor with others. Yet in God’s eyes, we’re already made perfect through Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross. Click on the link to hear Mercy Me’s inspiring new song “Flawless.”
Recommended Reading
If people-pleasing is an issue for you or someone you love, here are two books you will find helpful:
