Blog

Let it Unfold

It’s been almost a year since God answered an angsty prayer by speaking to me in a dream. I’d found myself in a familiar situation—coordinating logistics for my family’s schedule and feeling frustrated that everyone wasn’t in sync. A tense conversation with one of my kids hadn’t ended well and I’d gone to bed discouraged. After tossing and turning for several hours, I fell into a fitful sleep while my brain continued to process a solution to our stalemate. 

My son’s lack of willingness to adjust to my plan was going to cost time and money as well as causing great inconvenience. Before falling asleep, I’d been weighing the different approaches I could use to get him to see the situation from my perspective. Exhausted, I eventually drifted off to sleep when, just before waking, calming words in a dream filled me with peace. I don’t think I heard the Lord audibly, but His message was clear: “Let it unfold.”

Pulling back the covers in the dawn light, I chose to trust God’s gentle voice as I anticipated the day ahead. Instead of trying to convince my son to get on board with my logistically “superior” plan, I held off and opted to let events unfold without intervening. A few months later, when the plans came to fruition, I understood what the Lord had been doing. The plan that, in my mind, had seemed illogical and inconvenient actually turned out to be God’s provision—a needed respite in an unexpected season of intensity in our family.

I view time as a precious commodity and see efficiency as the key to prevent wasting it. There’s nothing I love more than a well-crafted plan that works out exactly as I expect. But in the past year, the Lord has reminded me again and again of that phrase He gave me last summer: “Let it unfold.” When I’m tempted to speak up and step in to fix, suggest, or point out a better way to do something, I’m learning to pause and pray first. In my attempts to help others or improve situations, my proactivity can short-circuit the learning process for someone else. Worse still, it can squelch the Holy Spirit from moving or speaking.

We live in a fast-paced world and most of us don’t believe we have time to slow down and let things unfold, but that’s not the way of Jesus. When I’m tempted to rush or to force my plan on someone else, I’m reminded that Jesus was never in a hurry. He never rushed. Likewise, God never forces Himself or His plans on us. He waits patiently and delights when we choose to follow His ways instead of ours. I love how Jesus says this in The Message (a contemporary language paraphrase of the Bible): 

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

Learning to “let it unfold” has been an exercise in restraint for the past year. But as I’ve held back and waited longer than I would have preferred, I’ve watched the Lord move and have witnessed His “unforced rhythms of grace” more times than I can count. Sometimes it’s with one of my adult kids, other times, it’s been with extended family, or people I serve with or lead in ministry. Letting things unfold has helped me avoid unneeded tension with others that often comes with unsolicited advice, unwelcome opinions, and forced decisions. The Lord has shed light on pride that leads me to see my way of doing things as “best.” He’s humbled me and helped me to recognize the beauty of letting others learn through experience instead of being subjected to my “helpful” suggestions. I’m still growing in patience but am seeing the positive results of trusting His timing instead of acting on my impulses. 

What about you? Are you ever tempted to intervene and fast track the learning process for someone else? Do you sometimes want to help others see the value of your perspectives or opinions whether they’re ready to listen or not? Are you quick to offer a suggestion or observation before inviting the Holy Spirit to intercede? Letting things unfold doesn’t mean doing nothing, but it does mean pausing to pray. Sometimes the Lord may prompt you to speak up or step in; at other times He’ll guide you to hold off and wait. Seeking His guidance enables you to be confident that you’re relying on God’s wisdom instead of your knee-jerk response.

Was this forwarded to you? You can receive new posts automatically in your inbox by going to www.marybethmccullum.com, entering your e-mail address and clicking “subscribe.”

Ebenezer Stones

This spring marked the culmination of two significant seasons in my life: my youngest child graduated from college and I completed my fourth and final year serving as Women’s Ministries Director at my church. It’s been a poignant time as I’ve looked back at God’s faithfulness over the past four years. New and exciting ministry endeavors await, but before I dive into them, I’d like to pause and reflect on what I’ve learned. This summer’s posts will stand as stones of remembrance that mark where the Lord revealed Himself to me–my prayer is that they glorify Him and provide practical wisdom that will bless others and build His kingdom.

One of my favorite stories about stones of remembrance comes from the book of Joshua. After fleeing from slavery in Egypt and wandering in the desert for forty years, the Israelites enter the promised land at long last. Moses has passed away and they are now under the leadership of Joshua. In a miraculous set of events, the Lord holds back the rushing waters of the Jordan River at flood stage so that His people can move safely into the promised land. Once they cross, Joshua instructs them to set up a monument using twelve large stones from the riverbed.  “He said to the Israelites, ‘In the future when your descendants ask their parents, ‘What do these stones mean?’  tell them, ‘Israel crossed the Jordan on dry ground.’ For the Lord your God dried up the Jordan before you until you had crossed over. The Lord your God did to the Jordan what he had done to the Red Sea when he dried it up before us until we had crossed over.  He did this so that all the peoples of the earth might know that the hand of the Lord is powerful and so that you might always fear the Lord your God.” (Joshua 4:21-24, NIV)

Later in Scripture, symbols of remembrance are called Ebenezer stones. This label appears in the book of First Samuel when Israel’s army musters for an attack by the Philistines. As they prepare for battle, “They said to Samuel, ‘Do not stop crying out to the LORD our God for us, that he may rescue us from the hand of the Philistines.’ Then Samuel took a suckling lamb and sacrificed it as a whole burnt offering to the LORD. He cried out to the LORD on Israel’s behalf, and the LORD answered him. While Samuel was sacrificing the burnt offering, the Philistines drew near to engage Israel in battle. But that day the LORD thundered with loud thunder against the Philistines and threw them into such a panic that they were routed before the Israelites…Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer, saying, ‘Thus far the LORD has helped us.’” (1 Samuel 7:8-10, 12, NIV)

So, Ebenezer stones commemorate the Lord’s help and faithfulness at specific points in time. Anything we lay eyes on can become an Ebenezer stone that symbolizes of our gratitude to God, whether it’s written or visual. These tangible reminders give us reassurance and hope for the future and prompt us to tell others about what the Lord has done in our lives.

Maybe this slower-paced season is a good time for you to do some reflecting too. Whether you’re flying to a faraway place, relaxing on a beach, lounging by a pool, or hiking a mountain trail, why not take some time to consider where the Lord has been at work in your life over the past year? What have you learned about Him and about yourself? How have you grown spiritually? What stones of remembrance will mark this season in your life as a testimony of God’s faithfulness? Who will you tell so that you can give glory to the Lord?

Want to learn more about Ebenezer stones and the hymn that made them famous? Click here.

Want to encourage someone else? Consider forwarding this post to them.

Was this forwarded to you? You can receive new posts automatically in your inbox by going to www.marybethmccullum.com, entering your e-mail address and clicking “subscribe.”

Strengthened with God’s Power

Recently I returned from a mission trip in Mexico. The week away from the normal comforts of home was both exhausting and inspiring. Our group adapted to riding on bumpy local buses to and from our worksites, doing manual labor without power tools, camping in tents, bathing with solar showers, and even using port-a-potties with a rather pungent aroma. But there was one comfort of home that most people couldn’t do without: cell phones. While they were used mostly for taking photos and communicating with family back home, they appeared to be the one convenience that was indispensable.

My first year on the trip, I was fortunate enough to be on a worksite with a foreman who had a truck and a phone charger. I never had to jockey for position at a power strip in camp during the few hours the generators were running. I remember scurrying to his truck one evening to plug in my phone. When I returned later, I was disappointed to discover that it hadn’t charged at all. A quick investigation revealed that the cord had been unplugged to make room for a different type of charger. I just hadn’t noticed in my haste. No matter how long my phone remained plugged into that cord, it was worthless without a power source.

And what is true for our all-important technology is even more essential in our spiritual lives. We simply can’t function well when we’re not consistently connected with our power source, God. Jesus describes this in John 15: ““I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5, NIV) Maybe the twenty-first century version would sound like this: “I am the power source, you are the device. If you remain plugged into me, you will have the everything you need to fulfill my purposes; apart from me you can do nothing of spiritual significance.”

Paul writes a prayer about this very idea in the book of Colossians: “We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light.” (Colossians 1:9b-12, NIV, italics added)

The prayers offered in this passage show the value and necessity of staying plugged into God. As we do that, we receive wisdom and understanding from the Spirit so that we bear fruit and grow, continually strengthened with His power so that we have endurance, patience, and joy.

As summer approaches, most of us look forward to a break from our regular routines. We anticipate the ease of a relaxing vacation at the beach, hiking mountain trails, or experiencing new cultures traveling abroad. Leisurely days with family, reading a book, or finally tackling projects on our to-do lists sound inviting after the rigors of the year.

What is unfortunate, however, is that for many of us a break from gathering for a large-group Bible study also equates with a break from our spiritual lives altogether. This is like hoping the charge on your phone will last throughout the summer without bothering to plug it in. It won’t.

So before you kick up your feet and revel in the newly opened spaces in your schedule, why not plan how you’ll stay connected to your power source during the break from your usual Bible study? Need some suggestions? Well, I’m glad you asked. Read all the way to the bottom before clicking on any of the links for more info. (Clicking on colored and underlined words will link you to more information about the specific titles or websites suggested below.)

  1. Choose a new devotional to read daily. Read and study the Scriptures referenced in it. Take the time to absorb and apply what it says.  Here are several I’d recommend:

2. Choose a book of the Bible and keep a journal. ESV Illuminated Scripture Journals work well for this. Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, 1 & 2 Peter, 1,2 & 3 John would all be great options. After each chapter, stop and answer these four questions:

  • What does this teach me about God
  • What does this teach me about myself?
  • What do I need to do as a result of reading this passage?
  • What character qualities do I see in God displayed in this passage? (Questions adapted from Finding I Am by Lysa TerKeurst)

3. Choose a Bible study to go through or finish a Bible study workbook that you didn’t complete during the year. Invite a few friends to do it with you and schedule times when you can meet during the summer to discuss what you’re learning. Text or e-mail each other in between meetings so you can spur each other on.  Here are several I’d recommend:

4. Read a book to gain deeper insight and biblical perspective from a trusted Christian author.  Here are a few I’d recommend:

5. Listen to podcasts filled with biblical truth, wisdom, and inspiration. Here are a few I’d recommend:

6. Subscribe to an online study or devotional from one of your favorite Christian authors. You can start by subscribing to this blog if you don’t already. I’ll be posting throughout the summer. Log onto my website www.marybethmccullum.com, look at the right side of the screen and you’ll see the heading “Subscribe to Blog Via E-mail.” Fill in your e-mail address and click the “subscribe” button. Be sure to confirm your subscription the first time you receive an e-mail from my website. 

Whatever ideas you decide to try, make it a priority to continue engaging your faith. My prayer is that you’ll stay plugged into Jesus and Scripture during the summer months with the same consistency that you charge your electronic devices. Happy summer!

Was this forwarded to you? Click here to submit your e-mail and subscribe.You’ll receive future posts automatically in your inbox.

Yearning for Unity

Scrolling through my news feed, I’m surprised at how frequently there are articles having to do with the Church or faith-related issues. Sadly, most of the time the articles describe behaviors and attitudes of people who label themselves as “Christian” but have no resemblance to Jesus. I was saddened by a recent one I read that detailed two factions with wildly divergent views whose differences led to a tragic death. It’s no secret that tension and divisiveness have become the norm in our culture today, even in the body of Christ. 

So how do we arrive at the unity that Jesus prayed for in John 17?  How do we respond when others who worship beside us hold different views? Do we reject them and retreat, only associating with those who share the same viewpoints? Do we avoid any subject that might elicit discomfort or a strong reaction?

A good starting place for answering these questions is understanding Jesus’ prayer for unity: “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one—I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.” (John 17:20-23, NIV)

First, it’s important to note that unity and uniformity are not the same thing. Uniformity happens when we already think alike. Conversely, unity only comes when we work hard to find ways to agree with others who have differing views. Unity is something we must grapple with as believers. Ultimately, a stronger bond comes when we acknowledge our differing views and demonstrate willingness to listen and find common ground. So, let’s explore three ways we can align with the heart of Jesus and pursue unity as His followers.1

1) Commit to the Mission of the Church (with a capital “C”): Christian churches across the world use different language to convey a common mission: To know Christ and make Him known. Jesus says it this way in His prayer: “I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.” (John 17:23, NIV) Obedience to God includes gathering with others to worship, connect, and serve. We’re meant to do this together to honor the Lord and realign ourselves with His will. As we’re reminded of God’s love, mercy, and grace, we band together to share what we’ve received from Him with the world around us. When we stop gathering and divide into factions, we prize uniformity and become suspicious of others. This inward focus causes us to become critical of anyone not in our closed system. We zero in on other believers who do things differently instead of looking outward to the world that desperately needs to hear the hope of the gospel. “For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.” (Galatians 5:14-15, NIV)

2) Commit to Being Humble and Others-centric: Our personal opinions feel important and can spark strong emotions, especially in the divisive times we’re living in right now. No one agrees with every decision made by leaders or individuals. But we need to prioritize respecting one another as people and followers of Christ more than we care about being right or airing our opinions. Consider Paul’s wise counsel: “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.” (Ephesians 4:2-6, NIV)

3) Commit to Sacrificing Your Will:  Jesus prayed for the unity of all believers knowing it would be difficult. He prayed this only hours before He was betrayed, abandoned, arrested, tortured, and killed. This is what He was agreeing to when He prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” (Matthew 26:39, NIV) Jesus gave up His will for our sake. Are we willing to do that for His Church? 

Pursuing unity as a body of believers requires an unwavering focus on Jesus. Consider the wisdom of A.W. Tozer: “Has it ever occurred to you that one hundred pianos all tuned to the same fork are automatically tuned to each other? They are of one accord by being tuned, not to each other, but to another standard to which each one must individually bow. So, one hundred worshipers meeting together, each one looking away to Christ, are in heart nearer to each other than they could possibly be, were they to become ‘unity’ conscious and turn their eyes away from God to strive for closer fellowship.”

Author and Bible teacher Kristi McClellan emphasizes: “Oneness is the way of the kingdom of God in the world. Gospel-centered kingdom-oriented unity has always been a unity within diversity. Unity does not occur when we become the same. True, robust, healthy, and vibrant unity happens within our unique and diverse expressions…Jesus prayed we would be one. Let’s do all we can to honor Him as followers of Jesus seeking oneness, unity, harmony, wholeness, flourishing, and delight. The church is best expressed as a bouquet of unique flowers rather than twelve red roses. We are better together…pray our oneness and unity will give the world an ancient taste of Eden and a future taste of the new heaven and the new earth fully realized.”2

As followers of Jesus, let’s commit to pursuing unity and praying for oneness among our fellow believers. Instead of being quick to notice differences that irk us, let’s ask the Lord to reveal where we may be prioritizing our personal agendas. With humility, let’s invite Him to reveal where we’ve gotten in the habit of finding fault, taking offense, or creating division. Let’s ask Him to show the power of His infinite love and grace through us to every person we encounter.

Was this forwarded to you? You can receive new posts automatically in your inbox by going to www.marybethmccullum.com, entering your e-mail address and clicking “subscribe.”

1. The definition of unity vs. uniformity and the three points below it are based on Sean Morgan’s Leaders in Living Rooms podcast episode “Ugly Bride- Three Essential for Church Unity” from Sept. 13, 2021.

2. Kristi McClellan, When You Pray, Session 7, Lifeway Press, 2023, 200.

Expanding Intercession

“Does anyone have prayer requests?” I couldn’t begin to count how many times I’ve heard that question while sitting in a circle with other believers. Usually people share about the circumstances of people they love—whether it’s asking for physical healing, emotional support, relational peace, or something else that will affect life in the natural world.

After studying intercessions of many faithful people in Scripture, I’ve been surprised to discover they have a very different emphasis. Take Paul’s opening prayer in Ephesians for example: “I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe.” (Ephesians 1:17-19, NIV) Paul’s prayer centers on the spiritual realm. He prays for those he loves to receive wisdom and revelation so they can know the Lord better. He prays their spiritual eyes will be opened and they’ll have greater understanding of the power they have through the Spirit.

Inspired by this prayer a few years ago, I started interceding less about circumstances of those I love and more about the eyes of their hearts being opened. While I care about their health, safety, and relationships, I now see that praying for their hearts and minds to be aligned with the Lord will have a more lasting impact (and will actually affect their health, safety, and relationships positively too.) More than anything, I want them to know God deeply and understand the riches they have in Him. It’s been encouraging, gratifying, and sometimes surprising to recognize how God has responded to my prayers over time.

When we intercede for ourselves and others, we have access to a limitless source of spiritual power. Paul’s prayer in Ephesians 3 illustrates this: “I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” (Ephesians 3:16-19, NIV) The answer to this prayer changes how believers see themselves and others. Once we grasp the depth of God’s love for us and root ourselves in it, we overflow with Jesus’ love. Instead of looking for people to fill us, we’re able to pour out God’s love on them.

Jada Edwards explains, “When Christ dwells in our hearts, we are so grounded in love that we are able to see people in the image of God. This type of love should be something we daily ask God to manifest in us and something we daily pray for others in the Spirit of Paul’s prayer.”1 Edwards invites us to stretch our faith and pray for God’s power to be more evident in ourselves, others, and among all believers. Consider these ideas to expand your prayers of intercession:

-In our personal lives: We can ask the Lord to fill us and satisfy us so completely each day that we’re not tempted to look for any lesser thing or person to quench our spiritual thirst. We can also pray for God to give us His power in practical ways—whether it’s enabling us to offer forgiveness and mend a relationship, to give us contentment while a longing remains unfulfilled, or to experience joy that is rooted in knowing Christ instead of circumstances being the way we want. We can ask God to align our hearts and minds to His will and to let the fruit of the Spirit be evident and bountiful in our lives: “But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” (Galatians 5:22-23a NLT)

-In the lives of others: We can ask God to reveal Himself in ways they can see and feel; to help them persevere and trust Him through trials; to encourage them when they’re struggling; to heal and comfort physical and emotional pain; to provide for tangible needs; to convict them when they’re mired in sin; or to give them wisdom and guidance in making decisions. We can pray for the Lord to help them remain closely connected to Him and to bear fruit that reveals His presence in their lives. “If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.” (John 15:7-8, NIV)

-In the church (local and global): We can ask God to empower us collectively to show His love to the world; to equip us to serve others with wisdom and grace; to bring unity among all believers in our divided world; to meet physical and emotional needs of the hurting through the church; to keep us humble and pure in heart; and to bring the light of hope into the darkness. “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” (Matthew 5:14-16, NIV)

Every suggestion here has been inspired by Scripture. When we let the Bible inform our prayers, we can be confident that they align with God’s will. Consider expanding your prayers of intercession—look beyond circumstances and pray for hearts and minds to be more attuned to the Kingdom of God. Try using Paul’s prayers when you’re interceding for others. Ask the Lord to open the eyes of your heart and to fill you with His love that surpasses knowledge, then watch the way it overflows from your life.

Was this forwarded to you? You can receive new posts automatically in your inbox by going to www.marybethmccullum.com, entering your e-mail address and clicking “subscribe.”

1. Jada Edwards, When You Pray, Lifeway Press 2023, 157.

Learning to Lament

“Life often hurts, and we need to know how to pray when it does,” Jennifer Rothschild declares in When You Pray. Maybe prayers of lament aren’t a regular part of your times with the Lord; expressing passionate grief or sorrow isn’t something we do well as a culture. Rather than feeling the depth of our emotions, we expend tremendous energy trying to avoid them. 

We’ve learned to sidestep pain in many creative ways. Here are a few strategies that have become common in our culture:

Numbing: Physical pain in our bodies signals to us that something needs attention. However, if we numb the pain of a toothache without addressing the root issue, the problem grows bigger. Yet many of us do this with our emotions—we feel the unpleasant sensation of pain and we rush to numb it with alcohol, pills, binge watching Netflix, shopping, or something else. Anesthetizing may lessen the pain for a while, but it brings only short-term relief.

Busyness & Distraction: Like waving a toy in front of a toddler crying for his mother, we occupy ourselves with distractions that make us forget emotional pain, at least for a little while. Maybe it’s keeping a full social calendar, scrolling social media, flooding our minds with mental inputs like podcasts or audio books, or throwing ourselves into serving others or working. We often use busyness and distractions to avoid feeling our emotions.

Denial & Avoidance: Sometimes we like to pretend the pain isn’t there. We think that if we don’t acknowledge its existence, it can’t take us under. Like getting caught in a forceful ocean current, we try to resist its power and exhaust ourselves fighting against it. But as a wise pastor once told me, grief waits for us for as long as it takes for us to reckon with it.

Pursuing Pleasure: Taking a vacation, looking for laughs, or deciding we “deserve” to eat with abandon can be coping mechanisms we use trying to counterbalance the pain we’re feeling. Wanting to feel good for just a moment, we justify spending money or consuming calories in an effort to soothe the hurt gnawing inside of us. Often, we end up feeling worse than we did before.

Negative Comparisons: I’ll never forget risking to lament about a painful situation I was experiencing. My confidante responded by saying, “Well, at least…” and then proceeded to share something similar she’d gone through that was much worse. Instead of listening with empathy, she minimized my sadness. I felt foolish and guilty for letting my “lesser” problem affect me so deeply. Trying to make ourselves (or others) feel better through negative comparisons just makes the burden heavier.

Positive Spin: Sometimes we take a hard situation and, instead of processing our painful emotions, we try looking at the bright side. I’ve often tried to console myself and others by focusing only on the benefits emotional hardship could bring. But failing to acknowledge the pain is like covering a wound before cleaning it out—it festers and prevents healing.

Spiritual Bypassing: For a lover of Scripture like me, another way I’ve avoided feeling my sadness is by veering around it. Before even allowing my emotions to surface fully, I’m already trying to find ways to explain away the pain or learn spiritual truth from it. It’s short-sighted to think we can “skip over our pain and just have Jesus ‘fix’ us.”1

We can stave off painful emotions, but ultimately if we don’t deal with them, they leak out of us at times we don’t anticipate. Unacknowledged pain morphs into impatience, anger, irritability, apathy, discouragement, and a host of other negative emotions and behaviors that ripple out to affect others around us.

Rather than avoiding our pain, we need to face it head on and let ourselves feel it deeply. Learning to lament in prayer with total honesty brings great relief and freedom. Try using these steppingstones on the path to comfort and healing.2

1. Address God: Focus your prayer on the One who knows you intimately and listens to you attentively. “Listen to my words, Lord, consider my lament. Hear my cry for help, my King and my God, for to you I pray.” (Psalm 5:1-2, NIV)

2. Pour out your heart: Bring Him your complaints and concerns. Share your raw emotions without holding back. “Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.” (Psalm 62:8, NIV)

3. Request help: Ask God for what you need, but also remain open to His perspective on your situation. “But you, Sovereign Lord, help me for your name’s sake; out of the goodness of your love, deliver me.”(Psalm 109:21, NIV)

4. Express trust. Affirm your faith in God’s character and His Word. (Or ask Him to build your trust in Him if you’re not quite there yet.) “Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.” (Psalm 62:1-2, NIV)

5. Praise Him. No matter how terrible you feel, God is still good. Remind yourself of this by expressing adoration for His wisdom, strength, and faithfulness (or whatever qualities of His you appreciate.) Use the Bible to help you if you can’t come up with anything on your own. “Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails  and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength;  he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to tread on the heights.” (Habakkuk 3:17-19, NIV)

Lament gives us time and space to identify our feelings and process them in the safe, loving, patient presence of our Heavenly Father. Laying out our emotions allows the Lord to comfort us and guide us, freeing us to move forward instead of being continually weighed down. It’s hard work, but so worth it. The next time you’re hurting emotionally, consider making time to practice lament and let the Lord refresh your spirit.

Was this forwarded to you? You can receive new posts automatically in your inbox by going to www.marybethmccullum.com, entering your e-mail address and clicking “subscribe.”

1. John Mark Comer quoting John Welwood, Praciticing the Way, Waterbrook, 2024, 88.

2. Jennifer Rothschild, When You Pray session 5, Lifeway Press 2023, 119.

Making Holy Week Personal

Let’s push the pause button on talking about When You Pray as we prepare our hearts for Easter. As one of the most significant times of the year for Christians, Holy Week marks the final days of Jesus’ pre-resurrection life on earth. As we observe each unique event, Jesus’ actions provide some powerful examples for us to follow. Let’s examine three of them and see how we’re called to respond.

Maundy Thursday- The Call to Serve Others

The gospels tell us that Jesus gathered with his disciples in an upper room of a home in Jerusalem to celebrate the Passover meal. You may remember that this special dinner commemorated God’s faithfulness to the Jews as they fled from Egypt under Moses’ leadership (see Exodus 12 if you need reminder). Ironically, the disciples had no idea Jesus was about to serve as their ultimate Passover lamb the next day when he would be crucified.

Scripture tells us that as the disciples enjoyed the meal, Jesus got up, removed his outer clothing, wrapped a towel around his waist and began washing his disciples’ feet one at a time. Despite the fact that he was their teacher and the most revered person at the table, he humbled himself, taking on the role of a servant.

When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. ‘Do you understand what I have done for you?’ he asked them. You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.’” (John 13:12-17, NIV)

Jesus’ directions to his disciples were simple, but not easy: they were called to live as humble servants, putting the needs of others ahead of their own. Those following him today are called to the same thing. We do this as an act of love and obedience to God, whether others appreciate it or not. Jesus promised that we would be blessed by living this way.

Good Friday- The Call to Sacrifice Our Agendas

A few hours after the Passover meal and before he was arrested, Jesus pleaded with God as he prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane. He dreaded the fate that awaited him:

Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, ‘My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will’…He went away a second time and prayed, ‘My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done’…So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing.” (Matthew 26:39, 42, 44, NIV)

The “cup” Jesus referred to here was a symbol the deep sorrow and suffering he would experience as his Father’s faced turned away from him while he bore the penalty for the sins of the entire human race.  Despite knowing the physical, emotional and spiritual pain that awaited him, Jesus surrendered to God’s plan of redemption, put aside his own will and submitted to death on the cross to save the world from sin.*

Like Jesus, we’re called to sacrifice our agendas for a greater good. Then [Jesus] said to them all: ‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.’” (Luke 9:23, NIV)

Each time we choose to put aside our will and submit to God’s, we are fulfilling the call to deny ourselves. Doing this requires that we are intentional about praying and asking God to give us strength and guidance for the daily choices we make, both small and large.

Easter Sunday- The Call to Share the Good News

 On the third day after his crucifixion, Jesus rose from the grave, conquering death forever more. He appeared to his amazed followers and told them to share the good news of his resurrection and his message of salvation with the rest of the world.

 On the evening of that first day of the week, when the disciples were together, with the doors locked for fear of the Jewish leaders, Jesus came and stood among them and said, ‘Peace be with you!’ After he said this, he showed them his hands and side. The disciples were overjoyed when they saw the Lord. Again Jesus said, ‘Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you.’ And with that he breathed on them and said, ‘Receive the Holy Spirit.’” (John 20:19-22, NIV)

Just as God sent Jesus to the world to free it from sin, Jesus sent his disciples back into the world to share this tremendous news with others.

Our Response

 It’s not easy to follow Jesus’ example. Serving others, sacrificing our personal agendas and sharing the good news aren’t things we can do consistently on our own strength. If you’re feeling a little overwhelmed or inadequate, don’t forget the fact that Jesus gave us the Holy Spirit and promised us peace. Through the Spirit, we have everything we need to walk as Jesus did. Start today by praying and asking the Spirit to equip you with exactly what you need. Once you realize he is the key to fulfilling these calls, you’ll never try to do it without him again.

*Comments about the cup in the section on Good Friday were adapted from the Zondervan NIV Study Bible, 2008 updated edition, page 1512.

*This post was originally published in March of 2016 entitled “Inspired by Holy Week.”

Search Me, O God

Barefoot and sun-kissed, we crowded onto the couches and floors in the houseboat’s tiny front room. Sitting on faded linoleum as someone strummed a guitar, I joined the heartfelt voices of my fellow camp counselors worshiping the Lord. A growing understanding of God’s holiness had transformed the way I praised Him during those pure and powerful worship sessions.

I had arrived at Houseboats a few weeks earlier and was glad to be serving at a Christian camp instead of joining my friends for graduation festivities in Mexico. I’d been stretched and humbled but had also experienced deep joy in ways I hadn’t anticipated. Praising God for His transcendent attributes and meditating on His character gave me a clearer perspective of His worthiness and my weakness. Awestruck by His perfection and holiness, a surprising awareness of my own sinfulness also came to light. I knew I needed to confess it and come clean before Him. Like David in Psalm 139:19-22, I was beginning to recoil from sin as I understood how much the Lord hates it. 

My experience was personal, but not unique. Through the prompting and conviction of the Holy Spirit, many believers pray as David did: “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns. See if there is any offensive way in me; lead me in the everlasting way.” (Psalm 139, 23-24, CSB) 

After accepting Christ, we are cleansed by His blood and receive eternal salvation, but we still struggle with sin. So, we need to examine our hearts and actions consistently and confess where we’ve fallen short of His standards. The prophet Isaiah explains how sin hinders our communication with God: “Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear. But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear.” (Isaiah 59:1-2, NIV) 

David expresses an understanding of this in Psalm 51: “Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity. Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.” (Psalm 51:9-12, NIV)

Responding to the Lord’s loving forgiveness, we then repent and allow Him to transform our thoughts, attitudes, and actions once again. We turn back towards God and away from whatever dishonors Him; repentance is about surrender—welcoming the conviction of the Holy Spirit and seeking God’s help to do things differently.

With that in mind, let’s consider several reasons we’d be wise to let the Lord search our hearts and shine light on unconfessed sin. 

Unconfessed sin is a burden that weighs us down:  In another psalm, David says, “When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy on me, my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord.’ And you forgave the guilt of my sin.” (Psalm 32:3-7, NIV)

Guilt warns us we’ve done something wrong, but when feeling guilty becomes a a permanent state of mind, that’s condemnation–which isn’t from God. Jesus was condemned to die on the cross to pay for our guilt! Instead, the Holy Spirit convicts us of sin so that we can confess it and be restored to close connection with the Lord. Here are a few differences between guilt that leads to condemnation and holy conviction that leads to restoration:

CondemnationConviction
Comes from the enemyComes from the Holy Spirit
Points us back to ourselvesPoints us back to God
Causes shame, regret & self-loathingCauses humility, repentance & change
Causes us to dwell on failuresCauses remorse for sin
Leads us to feel helpless & hopelessLeads us to spiritual maturity

Unconfessed sin hinders us from growing spiritually: “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith.” (Hebrews 12:1-2, NIV, italics added) It’s a struggle to move forward in our faith and accomplish God’s will and plans when we’re entangled by sin. It holds us back from experiencing deep, intimate fellowship with God. It also dulls our spiritual senses, weakens our ability to persevere, and takes our eyes off Jesus.

Unconfessed sin limits opportunities to be used by God and steals our joy: David offered these wise words for his son, Solomon, shortly before his death: “I am about to go the way of all the earth…So be strong, act like a man, and observe what the Lord your God requiresWalk in obedience to him, and keep his decrees and commands, his laws and regulations, as written in the Law of Moses. Do this so that you may prosper in all you do and wherever you go.’“ (1 Kings 2:1-3, NIV italics added)

Jesus also emphasizes how obedience enables closeness to God when He says, “If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.” (John 15:10-11, NIV, italics added)

Paul elaborates further: “You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness… Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.” (Ephesians 4:22-24 5:15-17, NIV, italics added)

Although confession and repentance may feel difficult, or even scary at times, Scripture explains the benefits: “Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.” (Acts 3:19, NIV, italics added) 

Consider inviting God to search your heart today. Let adoration of Him lead you to confess sins that are keeping you from becoming the person He’s made you to be. Experience refreshment and joy by removing any barriers to connection with Him

Was this forwarded to you? You can receive new posts automatically in your inbox by going to www.marybethmccullum.com, entering your e-mail address and clicking “subscribe.”

Inspired by When You PrayA Study of Six Prayers in the Bible, Session 4, Kelly Minter, Jackie Hill Perry, Jen Wilkin, Jennifer Rothschild, Jada Edwards, Kristi McClelland, Lifeway Press, 2023.

Petitioning God

Most of us think of prayer as an opportunity to ask the Lord for what we need or want. In Session 3 of When You Pray, contributing author Jackie Hill Perry opens by inviting us to read several Scriptures about making requests of God. By cherry picking verses from these passages, we could make some inaccurate assumptions about prayers of petition, especially in our culture that values instant gratification. Consider these phrases:

  • “Ask and it will be given to you.” (Matt 7:7a)
  • If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.” (Matt 21:22)
  • “Whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.” (1 John 5:15b)

Without context, we could misinterpret these passages and see God as a spiritual wish-granter. Prayer could seem transactional like a vending machine–we insert a prayer; God gives the answer. We might come to Scripture focusing on what sounds good to us while filtering out what’s uncomfortable or difficult to understand. Jackie Hill Perry suggests examining a list of verses that help us to understand the importance of seeking the will of God in our petitions (When You Pray page 51). Let’s see what we can learn from them:

Psalm 145:18 “The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.” Regardless of how or when He answers our prayers, we can rest assured that the Lord is present when we cry out to Him with authenticity. We don’t need to use fancy words—we can be honest and vulnerable in our prayers and take comfort in God’s nearness to us.

Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” One commentary explains, “When we allow God to make our paths straight, we are aligning our will with His. This requires humility and a willingness to surrender our plans and desires to the sovereign will of God. It is also a recognition that our finite understanding cannot lead us in the right direction and that true fulfillment comes from following the path that God sets for us.”1

Micah 6:8 “He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” The Lord values justice, mercy, and humility. When our prayers focus on bringing more of these three things to our lives and the world, we know they are within the parameters of His will.

John 15:7 “If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.” When we walk closely with Jesus, our hearts are drawn to what He wants. When we pray about things that align with what He teaches, we can trust that He will respond.

John 16:23-24 “In that day you will no longer ask me anything. Very truly I tell you, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.” When we pray “in Jesus name” we are declaring that our requests align with what He would want. Praying in His name isn’t a way to sign off on our prayers before saying “amen” but to affirm that we’re seeking what we know He would desire. Abiding closely with Jesus enables us to experience deep joy when we see His will accomplished through our prayers.

Romans 8:27-28 “And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” The Holy Spirit searches our hearts and prays on our behalf to the Father (which is great news when we don’t know what to pray!) God works for our good according to His purposes, not our plans.

Hebrews 13:20-21 “Now may the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.”  God equips us with everything good for carrying out His will so that we can do what is pleasing to Him. All of this is not for our comfort or convenience but His glory.

James 4:2-3 “You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.” God knows our motives and does not grant selfish desires or give what is not in accordance with His will.

2 Peter 3:9 “The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” We live in a culture that demands instant gratification, but God rarely answers according to our timelines. We need to pray for patience and let God’s plans unfold in His perfect timing.

God wants us to ask for things, but Scripture also calls us to align with His will. So, let’s strive to be more concerned with His glory than our personal gain. Jackie Hill Perry closes by asking “How can we cultivate a heart that loves the Giver more than the gift?” Here are a few ideas:

  • Each time you pray, consider previous requests you’ve made. Thank God for the prayers He has answered and notice the ways He may have responded differently (or better) than you anticipated.
  • Thank God for things you might take for granted normally: your health, your home, your relationships, your community of faith, etc.
  • Thank God for the gifts He’s given you and the opportunities you’ve had to use them to bless others, build His church, and advance His kingdom on earth.
  • Ask the Lord to help you want His will more than yours. Ask Him to change your heart and to show where you’re clinging to your personal agenda instead of trusting Him.

Want to learn more about aligning with God’s will in your life and prayers? Consider reading Practicing the Way by John Mark Comer.

Was this forwarded to you? You can receive new posts automatically in your inbox by going to www.marybethmccullum.com, entering your e-mail address and clicking “subscribe.”

Inspired by When You Pray: A Study of Six Prayers in the Bible, Kelly Minter, Jackie Hill Perry, Jen Wilkin, Jennifer Rothschild, Jada Edwards, Kristi McClelland, Lifeway Press, 2023.

  1. GotQuestions.org “What does it mean that He will make your paths straight (Proverbs 3:6)?”

Your Kingdom Come

Almost every morning I start the day reading the Bible and praying. Typically, I end my time by asking the Lord to use me to bless others, to build His kingdom, and to bring Him glory. Some days it’s obvious when He’s answering this prayer, but it isn’t always convenient or comfortable. 

In the first chapter of the Bible study When You Praycontributing author Kelly Minter says, “Whether we pray to be noticed or don’t pray so we aren’t noticed, both have to do with fear of people instead of reverence for God.”She then asks us to consider settings where we might avoid prayer out of concern for what others think.

A recent memory came to mind when God answered my morning prayer with an unexpected prompting. It was one of those times when my heart started pounding because I knew what He wanted me to do, but I didn’t want to do it. I was enjoying a fun morning playing Pickle Ball with a large group of women. Some I knew well, but many were new to me. Some were followers of Jesus, others weren’t. I’d joined the group hoping to meet people and have opportunities to show God’s love, but hadn’t envisioned Him leading me to be quite so bold.

On this particular day, a woman I barely knew arrived late and sat waiting to play as others chatted around her. Although typically soft-spoken, she seemed more subdued than usual. As the group began to disperse she remained planted in her spot; even when another friend and I were the only ones left, she seemed in no rush to leave. Without a fourth person to play a game, we laid our paddles aside. But instead of saying goodbye, we asked if she was okay and then sat in the shade listening as she opened up about frustrations and struggles that were overwhelming her. 

Brushing away the tears from her cheeks, she apologized for being emotional and picked up her paddle to leave. Although she’d come to play Pickle Ball, it seemed clear what she really needed was support and encouragement. My heartbeat quickened as the Holy Spirit reminded me of my prayer that morning. After a few minutes of mental grappling, I couldn’t ignore the pounding of my heart any longer. The prompting of the Holy Spirit overrode my fear and, having no idea how she’d react, I heard myself saying, “This might sound weird, but can we pray for you before you leave?” To my surprise, she agreed without hesitation. Eying my friend who sat listening with me, I took another risk and asked, “Do you mind if we lay our hands on you?” Nodding yes, she bowed her head as we scooted in closer to rest our palms on her shoulders.

I don’t remember exactly what I prayed, but my fear about what she would think vanished. I asked God for His intervention with her specific circumstances, but I remember praying more that she would feel His peace, love, comfort, and presence.  After saying “amen” we chatted for a few more minutes with no trace of awkwardness or discomfort between us.  She thanked us and moved on with the day seeming lighter than she’d come.

A few weeks went by before I saw her again and had the chance to ask how she was doing. Between games I sought her out. With the background noise of women chatting and the ball popping against paddles, we stood on the sidelines as she recounted how each issue had resolved. Pausing mid-sentence, she interrupted herself and said, “Wow, now that I think about it, I guess your prayers were answered.” 

I had asked God to use me that morning and He teed up an opportunity. Imagine what my new friend and I would’ve missed if I’d ignored the Spirit’s prompting instead of risking to pray for her. I wish I could say I’m always that bold, but I’d be lying. However each time I’ve responded to the Spirit’s gentle but insistent nudging, my faith has grown and someone else has been blessed in the process.

The Disciples’ Prayer (also known as the Lord’s Prayer) taught by Jesus starts with “Our Father in heaven, your name be honored as holy. Your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” (Matthew 6:9b-10, CSB) I used to think the phrase “your kingdom come” was all about the future when Christ returns. I didn’t understand that every follower of Jesus has the opportunity to bring God’s kingdom to earth every day. Theologian Dallas Willard explains, “The kingdom of God is the range of his effective will: That is, it is the domain where what he prefers is actually what happens.”2

So, when we obey the promptings of the Spirit we’re carrying out His will–we’re bringing a little bit more of His kingdom to earth at that very moment. Shining His light into the darkness, we’re taking back territory from the enemy. That’s one of the many powerful ways prayer works.

I’ve been learning how to pray and practicing it for all of my adult life. Scripture gives us the keys to unlock understanding God’s will so that we can pray with boldness and confidence. When we’re aligned with His Spirit, we have access to His unlimited power. Tapping into that power requires us to try engaging God in new ways, stepping out of our comfort zones, and trusting Him. Prayer isn’t so much about asking the Lord to do what we want as it is about opening an ongoing dialogue with Him. As we draw near to Him and align our hearts with His, He speaks to us in a variety of ways. It may be through the Bible, circumstances, other people, His creation, silence, or song lyrics, to name a few. (You can learn more about this by reading How to Hear God: A Simple Guide for Normal People by Pete Greig.)

Over the next few months we’ll delve into the deep wisdom of six teachers who will help us unpack prayers in the Bible that can transform the way we engage with God. During this season, consider choosing one practice to add to your daily rhythm that will expand your experience with prayer. Here are few ideas:

  • Commit to practicing the prayer prompts in When You Pray instead of skipping over them to save time or mental energy.
  • Start your day with a few minutes of silence and becoming attuned to God’s presence. Invite Him to speak to you throughout your day.
  • Start and/or end your day with a time of meditation on God’s Word and quiet prayer. If you’re not sure what to do, try using an app like Lectio 365 (created by Pete Greig– the author mentioned above).

I can’t wait to see what the Lord has in store to grow us deeper in our walks with Him.

Was this forwarded to you? You can receive new posts automatically in your inbox by going to www.marybethmccullum.com, entering your e-mail address and clicking “subscribe.”

  1. Kelly Minter, When You Pray, Lifeway Press 2023, 18.
  2. Dallas Willard, The Divine Conspiracy, Harper Collins-Books, 399.