Category: Apologetics

Bold and Gentle

Weaving through the crowd on my way to class was always an adventure in college. As I walked through the heart of campus, people milling on the main pathway peppered passersby with a barrage of requests. They called out asking us to sign petitions, offering tickets to movie screenings, and handing out pamphlets espousing political agendas. Some of them were annoying or aggressive, others were intriguing. But there was one person that always made my heart hammer with anger and embarrassment when he visited campus. He would stand on a stairway to the side of the walkway holding a hand-made sign that read: “Sinners: Repent or burn in hell!” As if that wasn’t jarring enough, he would shout harsh judgements at us based on Bible verses taken out of context. There was never a trace of love in his words.

Sometimes students would stop and engage in animated conversations with him; often they escalated into shouting matches. For me, as a follower of Jesus trying to be a light on my dark campus, this man’s presence was devastating. I feared people who knew I was a believer would lump me in the same bucket with him and that any chance of sharing the gospel would be ruined. His boldness and passion to share his faith lacked the balance of love and grace.

I thought of the importance of that symmetry when I read Priscilla Shirer’s words this week: “BE UNASHAMED—public and bold in your allegiance to Him.”1 Being bold, public, and unashamed doesn’t imply that we have license to be rude or aggressive as we show allegiance to Jesus. Peter explains: “But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.” (1 Peter 3:15-16, NIV italics added) We need to engage others with respect no matter how strongly we disagree with their stances, especially in matters of faith. If we bait others or lash out with hurtful words, it’s unlikely they’ll be open to hearing anything we say. How we treat people matters as much as the words we say.

Imagine throwing a rubber ball against a wall. The harder you throw it, the more forcefully it bounces back at you. The same is true with our words. When our passionate feelings lead us to speak with anger, judgement, or harshness, it’s likely that’s what we’ll get in return. In the book of Romans, Paul tells us that God’s kindness is intended to lead to repentance (Romans 2:4). When we’re bold with our kindness to others, it’s more likely to soften the tone of their responses to us. It might even open the door for more genuine conversations about our faith.

In another one of his letters Paul says, “Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” (Colossians 4:5-6, NIV) We need to think carefully before we speak, text, or post comments about sensitive topics. “Our words should impact our conversations for the better as we bring a different ‘flavor’ to our interactions, build others up, and share as well as defend the gospel.”2 The world already has an atmosphere that’s divisive and contentious. It doesn’t need harsh words from Christians making things worse. It’s important to consider others’ perspectives and not to stoke bitterness or animosity on purpose. Sarcasm and insensitive humor often alienate and marginalize. So, let’s demonstrate allegiance to Christ in a manner that is empathetic and filled with grace. 

Strong opinions and feelings often stem from personal experiences. If someone riles you with a viewpoint that you know opposes Scripture, take a deep breath and pray instead of reacting immediately. Anger and harshness often cover pain and hurt. Instead of responding with indignation, take the wisdom of James to heart: “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” (James 1:19-20, NIV) 

Our world gravitates toward quick reactions and sharp retorts, but meaningful conversations that explore differing viewpoints rarely occur in this environment. It takes love, patience, and perseverance to show allegiance to Jesus in a way that will draw others to Him. 

If we want to be bold, we need to start by cultivating our relationship with the Holy Spirit “until His presence overflows in our actions, attitudes, and ambitions. His fruit and His gifts become outworked through our lives…His fire is what we need if we expect to live up to our calling and experience the freedom of serving others with selfless joy and real power.”3

What do others experience when they interact with you? What tone do you project as you speak, text, or post online? How do you treat people as you go about your day? Click here and listen to “Relate” by For King and Country and let it inspire you to be bold with your love but gentle and empathetic as you encounter those who think differently.

  1. Priscilla Shirer, Elijah, Lifeway Press, 2020, 175   
  2. GotQuestions.org, “Why are we told to ‘let your words be seasoned with salt’ (Colossians 4:6)?”
  3. Priscilla Shirer, Elijah, Lifeway Press, 2020, 183

Photo Credit: pixabay.com

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Keep Your Head

Letting out a big sigh, I berated myself silently. I had committed to writing a Bible study focusing on the women in Jesus’ family line for a group at church. The idea seemed brilliant until I started digging into the lives of the characters. Some of the stories involving them were inspiring, but many were disconcerting or downright unsavory.

Weighing my options, I considered leaving out one or two names on the list that seemed too difficult to tackle. But after consulting with my  Bible study’s coordinator and mulling things over a bit more, I decided to push through and see what God had in store. Their lives were messy and complicated but they were all in the lineage of Jesus for a reason.

Further exacerbating the situation, I’d planned on using the lessons I was writing to lead another group of women who were newer to Bible study. I had no idea how I would explain some of the stories we were going to unpack. Still, I knew that leaving out the ugly parts and trying to present more sanitized versions would be inauthentic and dishonest. It would also limit opportunities to grapple with hard topics.

As it turned out, some of the “colorful” characters I dreaded discussing turned out to be the ones that inspired me most. Throughout the months of studying with those two different groups of women, I learned the beauty of wrestling with others through hard questions that didn’t have easy answers. And while we didn’t tie a neat bow on every discussion, we all learned and grew by not avoiding some of those stickier topics.

Melissa Moore puts it this way, “When we are not ashamed of the gospel, we have the freedom to ask good questions and listen to other people well. We are faithful to the tradition we’ve received but the bottom line is not protecting our big egos. We keep reading Scripture carefully, proving ourselves to be ones who carefully handle the word of truth (2:15), and we are not threatened by any worldview or perspective. We do not have to let go of our Christian convictions to actually hear somebody out. We are unashamed in our message; we proclaim it, persist in it, whether it is convenient or not (2 Time 4:2), and we do this with kindness and patience. Generous listening is a revolutionary act of kindness in a world of screaming and competing voices.” (Entrusted p. 153)

For me, the key to discussing hard topics in Scripture is deciding not to feel personally threatened by people whose views differ from mine. To be honest, I am not a person that enjoys a lively debate or sparring with words. In fact, I have a deep aversion to tension and conflict in relationships. But, I have learned the value in listening respectfully and offering a counter perspective. I’ve discovered the freedom in admitting I don’t have all the answers. And each time I have a challenging conversation with someone who asks hard questions, my faith grows exponentially. When I research to find more information about a thorny topic, my knowledge also grows. Sometimes I even get to circle back with the person who asked me about it to shed more light on the issue.

Paul admonishes Timothy saying, “Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction… keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry. (2 Timothy 4:2 & 5, NIV)

Two phrases stand out in Paul’s list of instructions, the first is “with great patience” and the second is “keep your head.” When we’re talking about our faith with believers who differ from us or nonbelievers who lack understanding, these are important components to keep in mind.

Demonstrating great patience usually requires praying for the intervention of the Holy Spirit. If we get offended by someone’s differing viewpoint or irritated by their lack of understanding, we can’t keep a healthy dialogue going. And when we have the patience to see that a hard topic may require more than one conversation, it helps us to relax and not push so hard to overload someone with our opinions.

Paul also says, “keep your head,” reminding us not to takes things personally. When you’re having a hard conversation about spiritual matters, emotions intensify. If you start to feel your face flush or your jaw clench, pause and pray to keep your head. Losing your temper or getting defensive is not going to take a conversation about your faith in the right direction. If needed, put an end to the discussion before you lash out or say something hurtful. Your goal should be to finish on a positive note so that you still have an opening to talk more later.

There’s no doubt we’re living in tumultuous times where the Christian worldview is taking a beating. But if we shy away from opportunities to share the gospel, we’re not fulfilling our call to further God’s kingdom on earth. How can we lament the negative things we see in the world if we’re too fearful to impact others with the truth of God’s Word?

If you’re feeling weary and discouraged living in a culture that doesn’t put up with sound doctrine as Paul describes in 2 Timothy 4:3, take heart and be encouraged by Rend Collective’s song  “More Than Conquerors” included below.

And if you’re interested in learning more about the Bible study I wrote on the women in Jesus’ lineage or want to order a copy, click on the link below.

Click here for more information on Women of the Word: The Family Tree of Jesus.

Beth Moore, Entrusted: A Study of 2 Timothy, Lifeway Press 2016.

 

Tying a Bow on Three Great Studies

I’m a big fan of closure. When I come to the end of something, I like to pause and reflect on all that I’ve learned and how it’s impacted me. With another year of Bible study coming to a close at Focused Living, it seems like a good time to take inventory of the major themes we’ve been studying since September.

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I’m a big fan of closure. When I come to the end of something, I like to pause and reflect on all that I’ve learned and how it’s impacted me. With another year of Bible study coming to a close at Focused Living, it seems like a good time to take inventory of the major themes we’ve been studying since September.

If you attend Focused Living, you’ll see this post complements my teaching at our end of the year brunch. For those of you who follow this blog but don’t attend the study, you’ll find some good nuggets of truth. (You might even be inspired to try doing one of the studies). The passages we’ll use will help us to see what God calls us to do and how we can apply that truth to our lives. I pray you’ll be inspired to put the things we’ve learned into practice.

Children of the Day

Beth Moore’s study of 1 & 2 Thessalonians focused on the major them of living as “children of the light” based on this verse:

“You are all children of the light and children of the day. We do not belong to the night or to the darkness.” (1 Thessalonians 5:5, NIV)

And what are we supposed to do as children of the day? Our answer comes a few verses later:

“But since we belong to the day, let us be sober, putting on faith and love as a breastplate, and the hope of salvation as a helmet.” (1 Thessalonians 5:8, NIV)

Using armor as a metaphor, the passage urges us to keep faith and love close to our hearts (the breastplate) and hope protecting our heads (the helmet).

This sounds great in theory, but how are we to put this into practice?

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, NIV)

Rejoicing and giving thanks continually protects our hearts. These attitudes reveal faith and trust in God that goes beyond our immediate circumstances. Even when we don’t understand the things He allows in our lives, we know God is working them out according to His will and for our good. Similarly, praying continually protects our minds and helps us to keep hope central in our thoughts, no matter what we are experiencing.

I like using visual reminders to communicate themes. Because I don’t have any suits of armor handy, I’m giving you a more modern version of a helmet and breastplate (my son’s lacrosse helmet and chest pads). Let them remind you of the spiritual protection we need for our heads and hearts.

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One in a Million

Priscilla Shirer’s study on the Exodus of the Israelites from Egypt to the Promised Land focuses on giving us courage in our journeys through the “wilderness” of difficult seasons in our lives. She encourages us to trust God in our hardships and to fix our eyes on the hope found only in Him. Continue reading “Tying a Bow on Three Great Studies”

Shining God’s Light in the Darkness

Many people forget the words others say to them but few forget how another person made them feel. The impression we leave on others through the way we treat them opens or closes doors for future opportunities to share our faith. It can take people a lot longer to recognize they are in spiritual darkness than physical darkness. But, there will come a day when they’ll recognize their need. If you’ve been there for them all along, they may finally recognize the value of the light you have to offer.

IMG_7665Descending down the paved path, our kids skipped beside us, giddy with anticipation.   We were on vacation with two other families and the fourteen of us had decided to explore a cave we’d seen advertised on a roadside sign. As we neared the entrance, a park ranger stationed at a booth nearby called out to us, “Do you folks have some flashlights? The cave is a mile long and it gets mighty dark and cold in there.”

We held up a few puny flashlights we’d planned to share among the group. He smiled in a way that let us know how pathetic we were. “It’s up to you, but I’d suggest renting a few lanterns. You’re going to want to keep close tabs on those little ones.” He gestured to the gaggle of kids surrounding us. Pooling together all the cash we had, we rented three lanterns and walked toward the adventure awaiting us at the mouth of the cave.

Within minutes, our previously boisterous kids sidled close to the adults carrying the lanterns. We left the last rays of sunlight that had been shining into the opening as we moved into the depths of the darkness . Between the forty-two degree air and the utter blackness all around us, no one wanted to stray far from the group or the light. Without the lanterns to guide our way, it would have been a frightening (and probably very short) trek into the cave.

Although this adventure happened many years ago, I remembered it vividly as I read the final verse printed at the end of the Why Do You Believe That? workbook:

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” (Matthew 5:14-16, NIV)

Mary Jo Sharp emphasizes the reason for knowing apologetics: “You are needed in the battle for truth…It is the work of the body of Christ: to bring truth, which is light, to mankind. We cannot afford to view this work as a luxury; lives are at stake.” (Why Do You Believe That? p. 135)

Put simply, Jesus calls us to be lights that lead people towards Him in a world of spiritual darkness. When we call ourselves Christians, this should be a given. Jesus says that our lights shine when we do good deeds, which in turn brings glory to God. While non-believers may not always affirm or recognize the light Christians bring into the world, they would definitely notice if it were absent.

It is important to keep in mind that our actions often speak more loudly than our words. Even a person who is a convincing apologist loses credibility if she is all talk and no action. Consistency of character speaks more loudly than our words over the long haul.

If you’re feeling discouraged because someone has stopped listening when you share your faith, try to focus on loving the person with your actions and praying for him or her instead.   This may be the light that shines God’s truth in a way they can’t deny. Be patient, this can be a slow process.

Six weeks ago we began studying apologetics with this verse: “But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.” (1 Peter 3:15, NIV)

The instructions are pretty clear and consistent with the earlier verse we reviewed. Bringing light to the world involves some personal preparation.   We learn to revere Christ as Lord by spending time with Him daily.   We prepare ourselves to give answers for the hope we have by studying His Word.

Notice that the passage focuses not only on our words but also on how we conduct ourselves. We are to speak to others gently and respectfully. Many people forget the words others say to them but few forget how another person made them feel. The impression we leave on others through the way we treat them opens or closes doors for future opportunities to share our faith. It can take people a lot longer to recognize they are in spiritual darkness than physical darkness. Our world is full of distractions that comfort or anesthetize people into believing they don’t need God. But, there will come a day when they will recognize their need. If you’ve been there for them all along, they may finally realize the value of the light you have to offer.

So how can you be a light today? Maybe it’s as simple as smiling at someone. Maybe it’s offering a word of encouragement or sharing an inspiring song. Maybe it’s helping with a task or meeting a need. Maybe it’s telling them that God loves them.  Each interaction we have with another person provides a chance to make their world a little better and to shine our lights a little brighter.

Let’s apply my story about the cave to our spiritual lives. Imagine that upon accepting Christ, each new believer receives a lantern to carry out into the world where spiritual darkness prevails. When we love people with our actions and then have opportunities to share the truth of God’s Word, we are like the people in the cave holding the lantern. Those fumbling in the dark are drawn to the light and find comfort in its presence. Our world is drowning in spiritual darkness. We have the privilege of holding the lantern and leading them into the light one step at a time.

Click on the link to hear “Marvelous Light” by Ellie Holcomb. It’s an inspiring reminder of how God changes us and then gives us the opportunity to lead others towards His marvelous light.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-5axIcYFVA

Sharp, Mary Jo; Why Do You Believe That? A Faith Conversation; Lifeway Press; 2012, 2014.

Changing Lives, Not Checking Boxes

We shouldn’t engage in faith conversations just to unload information we’ve learned so we can check the box saying we put our lessons into practice. Rather than letting zeal lead us, our conversations need to be driven by genuine love for others.

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Standing on the bluff above the expansive tide pools, I watched as my son made his way to the water’s edge. We were enjoying the sunny spring day with friends at Half Moon Bay. They’d never been there before and were excited to explore the shallow pools at low tide. Picking our way along the slippery kelp covered rocks, I began pointing out creatures I recognized: light green anemones opened like exotic flowers, spiky purple sea urchins wedged in crevices and miniscule hermit crabs not much bigger than the head of a pin. With each discovery, our friends would cry out in wonder and delight. The tide pools were a thrilling, new experience for them.

I thought back to my first visit to Half Moon Bay on a field trip in grade school. The experience had not been quite as exciting. IMG_0333Carrying a clipboard and clutching a pencil, I’d been so intent on checking off the list of creatures I’d seen that I almost missed out on enjoying the amazing surroundings. It wasn’t until I’d finished the worksheet that I felt free to crouch next to the pools and gaze at the beauty and intricacy of the life teeming within them. Being a conscientious student didn’t always serve me well–I’d almost missed the point of the field trip altogether. I was only nine but had already been programmed to check off lists and fulfill obligations without recognizing the purpose or meaning behind what I was doing.

There is something embedded in human nature that makes us prone to labeling, organizing and categorizing everything we experience. We love to cross things off our to-do lists or check off the obligations we’ve fulfilled. Sadly, this can be true in our faith experiences too. We can do “spiritual” things without thinking about the real meaning behind them. That’s why I was thrilled to see Mary Jo Sharp address it in week 5 of Why Do You Believe That? She explains:

“One complaint I’ve heard a few times from non-Christians is they felt like Christians only cared about them as along as they were having a discussion about belief in Jesus Christ. They felt they were someone’s pet project instead of someone’s beloved friend.” (Why Do You Believe That? p. 103)

Armed with our new knowledge about apologetics, it could be tempting to look for opportunities to share what we’ve learned in a way that isn’t especially loving: “Not every situation will be the same, but remember to keep your intentions with individuals in check. The primary force behind sharing the gospel is love for others. It is not just to share what is true, because you think sharing truth, in and of itself, is loving.” (Why Do You Believe That? p. 103)

We shouldn’t engage in faith conversations just to unload information we’ve learned so we can check the box saying we put our lessons into practice.   Rather than letting zeal lead us, our conversations need to be driven by genuine love for others.

I can remember times in my life when I felt more like someone’s project than a person they cared about. Christians with personal agendas were a big turn off to me and I never responded well to them. Maybe it’s because I sensed they were motivated for the wrong reasons. I still remember a certain person vividly- she was an acquaintance in college that seemed insistent that I attend her particular church. The fact that I was growing in my faith with another Christian ministry didn’t seem to “count” in her eyes. I sensed she was more concerned with getting me to follow her program than encouraging my spiritual growth so I stopped returning her calls. Later I learned that her church was an emerging cult on my college campus. (I thank God for the Holy Spirit’s clear discernment in that situation).

Approaching people out of love and not as our next projects to tackle is probably the most important thing to keep in mind when we study apologetics. I couldn’t say it any better than the apostle Paul:

“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.” (1 Corinthians 13:1-3, NIV)

We’ve learned some great information in our study of apologetics, but if we share it without love, it’s worthless. So, how does this look in every day life? Let’s use Paul’s words from 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 as our guide.

“4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.”

-We don’t have to be in a rush to get people to see things in a different light. It’s important to give them time to absorb new truth little by little. Our kindness will show our genuine love for them. We should never be prideful about the knowledge we’ve gained or condescending to others.

“5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”

-We shouldn’t disrespect others when our views differ in faith conversations. We must put personal agendas aside and not try to win them over for the sake of personal satisfaction. We need to keep our anger in check when we disagree about touchy topics.

“6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

-We need to keep persevering in showing love to others, even when they don’t respond to us.

The way we live our lives and treat others is the ultimate proof of God’s love. I guess that’s what makes love “the ultimate apologetic.”   Click on the link to hear a great song on this topic: “Proof of Your Love” by for King and Country.

Sharp, Mary Jo; Why Do You Believe That? A Faith Conversation; Lifeway Press; 2012 & 2014.

Good Questions Get to Root Issues

I don’t encounter many atheists ready to engage in lively debates in my daily life, but Mary Jo Sharp’s lesson on asking good questions helped me to recognize how I can engage people differently. For me, the most common challenge I have is trying to overcome people’s preconceived notions about Christians.

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Signs of spring are all around us. I love looking at the lush green hills and blooming trees and bulbs. One unfortunate side effect of all this new growth is the abundance of weeds that sprout up with everything else. Pulling weeds is not my favorite part of working in the yard, but I do like the results when I’m done. One thing I’ve learned is that to eliminate a weed it is necessary not just to pull out the green shoots above the dirt; I need to dig down until I get to the roots.

Asking people good questions in faith conversations is much the same. If we just deal with the surface issues they have, we may not understand the roots of their problems or questions about God. Just like with weeding the yard, it takes a bit more time and effort to uncover the roots, but it is worth the effort.

I don’t encounter many atheists ready to engage in lively debates in my daily life, but Mary Jo Sharp’s lesson on asking good questions helped me to recognize how I can engage people differently. For me, the most common challenge I have is trying to overcome people’s preconceived notions about Christians. I’ll look at a few of the most common root issues I’ve discovered below.

People Who Have Absorbed Our Culture’s Views:

I find many people who are hesitant to explore faith because they’re afraid they’ll have to change their political views or stances on “hot topics.” They’ve heard sound bites about Christians that have caused a negative impression. Most people are unaware of how much they’ve been influenced by popular culture and have subtly been swayed to reject what is moral, right, true and good. I see people being influenced by outspoken celebrities with strong opinions, talk show hosts, news media and even fictional characters in movies and on TV that evoke sympathy in viewers.

Some of my best conversations with people have been when I’ve asked them to tell me how they’ve adopted their views that differ from Christians on certain hard issues. I’ve encountered very few people who have reasoned through their stances. Most realize they’ve come from being influenced by commonly held views that are espoused all around them. I know women who are craving spiritual fulfillment but who won’t set foot in a church or Bible study because they assume the people there have views differing from theirs. Sometimes they are afraid that exploring the Christian faith will mean they have to adopt a specific “agenda.” They make assumptions about God without looking at His word. Many people embrace the buzzwords of popular culture without really understanding what they mean or if they are really good.

“Sometimes the kindest thing we can do for people is gently shake up their presuppositions and invite them to think.” (Sue Bolin, “Four Killer Questions”, quoted from Why Do You Believe That? p. 76)

A few good questions to ask (without getting emotional or defensive):

-What causes you to accept that viewpoint? What is its foundation?

-Are you willing to look at what God has to say about that issue in the Bible?

-Are you willing to explore who God is aside from that issue?

-Are you afraid you’ll be forced to change or become someone you don’t want to be if you explore your questions about faith?

-Do you understand that not all Christians have the same view on every issue?

People feel great relief when they learn that becoming a Christian does not mean they must automatically think and act a certain way. Our focus should be on helping people learn how to engage the Bible and discover truth rather than on telling them what to think about specific issues.   Our first priority should be helping people understand Jesus’ love for them rather than debating side issues.  We can trust the Holy Spirit to open their eyes in His perfect timing to help them recognize areas He’s calling them to change.

People With Negative Views of God

It’s helpful to ask people how they got their opinions about God, church, and the Bible. When we can learn the root issue that is impacting them, we can figure out what to address. Some people have skewed views of God based on their upbringing. For others, popular culture, TV shows, movies, books and music have given them certain impressions of God that are not biblical. For others, a negative experience has caused them to assign blame to God. Some people have had no exposure to faith and are afraid to engage in conversations about it because they feel embarrassed, awkward or intimidated.   It is foreign territory and a long way outside of their comfort zones. What all of these people need is gentleness, patience and encouragement.

A few good questions to ask:

-How do you think you came to that conclusion about God/the Bible/ Church?

-Are you willing to put aside your preconceived notions to explore faith in a different way?

-Have you have looked at what the Bible teaches about God? Are you willing to look at it with me?

-What do you know about Jesus? Can I share a little bit more about Him with you?

Jesus’ Example

Jesus’ encounter with a Samaritan woman at a well gives us a great example of engaging someone effectively in a faith conversation. In John 4, we find Him traveling through Samaria and stopping for a drink and a rest at a well. He asks a woman drawing water: “Will you give me a drink?” and the question begins a conversation that changes her life. Two things stand out to me that relate to our topic. First, Jesus knows the woman is not living a lifestyle that honors God, yet He doesn’t address this right away. First, He focuses on her deepest issue: “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.” (John 4:10, NIV) He doesn’t start by telling her to clean up her act; He starts by showing her what He has to offer. We can do the same thing when engaging people who have been strongly influenced by our culture.

Second, when the woman offers what she does know about religion, Jesus builds on what she says to give her a clearer understanding. She says, “I know that Messiah (called Christ) is coming.   When he comes, he will explain everything to us.”   Jesus responds, “I who speak to you am he.” (John 4:25-26, NIV) Similarly, we can use the limited knowledge a person shares as a jumping off place to helping them understand more in our faith conversations.

Once the woman realizes who Jesus is, she can’t keep it to herself. She runs back to town to tell others and to bring them back to hear His teaching. It’s an inspiring example of what can happen when we engage in faith conversations. We don’t have to tell people what to think or how to change. We just expose them to God, ask them good questions, pray for them and let Him work in their hearts.

Click on the link to hear “What I Know” by Tricia Brock (a song from the soundtrack of last year’s movie about apologetics called “God’s Not Dead”)

https://www.youtube.com/wat?v=8YRko54M3_A

Sharp, Mary Jo; Why Do You Believe That?  A Faith Conversation;  Lifeway Press; 2012, 2014.

Two Ears, One Mouth

Each of us has one mouth and two ears–maybe our anatomy is a clue from God that we’re supposed to talk less and listen more.

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I had a chance encounter with an old acquaintance recently that gave me something to think about. She is the mom of one of my son’s former classmates from elementary school who I haven’t spoken with in several years. After a few minutes of small talk she said, “Would you ever have time to meet for coffee? I’m thinking about going back to work full time and it would be great to chat about it with you.”

Since my professional background isn’t in her line of work, I was taken aback. “I’d love to meet you, but I don’t know how much business advice I have to offer. I’m happy to just sit and listen though.”

Her tense facial expression changed to a relieved smile. “That sounds like exactly what I need.”

I hadn’t done a thing, but to my surprise, she seemed grateful and looked less anxious.

A few days later I opened Mary Jo Sharp’s Why Do You Believe That? I discovered that the topic of the entire third week of study is about being a good listener. My encounter with my acquaintance suddenly made perfect sense. Although our conversation had nothing to do with apologetics, I realized that most of us are longing for someone just to listen to us. When we find a person who is willing, it’s such a relief. The ability to listen to others well is a way to minister to them and to open the door for future conversations about our beliefs. We can’t engage in effective faith conversations or apologetics without it.

Mary Jo cites the words of Christian theologian Deitrich Bonhoeffer:

“So often Christians, especially preachers, think that their only service is always to have to ‘offer’ something when they are together with other people. They forget that listening can be a greater service than speaking. Many people seek a sympathetic ear and do not find it among the Christians, because these Christians are talking even when they should be listening.” (Beonhoeffer, Dietrich; Life Together; Minneapolis: Fortress Press, 2005, 95. Quoted from Why Do You Believe That? page 53)

If we don’t listen to others, it’s difficult to build relationships or to respond to their ideas and questions. We can’t show someone we care if we’re not bothering to pay close attention to what they’re saying. Each of us has one mouth and two ears–maybe our anatomy is a clue from God that we’re supposed to talk less and listen more. My prayer is that I can begin to listen twice as much as I speak. I want to show others that I value them by hearing their words. The apostle James puts it this way:

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” (James 1:19, NIV)

Whether we are engaging in conversations about apologetics with people who don’t know Jesus or we are talking with family, friends or complete strangers, listening well is a way to show them the love of God.

Here are a few things we can do to become better listeners:

-Being intentional about looking people in the eye and not past them to other things happening in the background

-Keeping our phones out of site so we’re not tempted to multi-task by checking them while having a conversation (being physically and mentally present)

-Moving closer to someone so that we can hear clearly

-Eliminating background noise or stepping out of a noisy place to hear a person better

-Asking questions sincerely and then waiting for the complete answer (“How are you?” is not a valid question to ask someone when we’re in a rush)

-Not glazing over, becoming distracted or thinking about what we’re going to say next

-Not interrupting or finishing someone’s sentences, letting them speak until they finish a complete thought

-Not letting our minds wander to our “to do” lists

-Making the effort to remember what they say so that if we do get interrupted, we can ask them to pick up where they left off instead of starting a new topic

-Following up and asking about what they’ve shared when we see them at a later time

-Being sensitive to recognize when a person needs more time to talk than we have to give at that moment and then being intentional about following up to hear more later

Is there one thing from this list or from Mary Jo’s lesson that you’ll commit to working on this week? I think I’ll start by following up with the acquaintance that suggested we meet for coffee. Maybe there is something I haven’t included that you would add to this list.  Leave a comment so we can work on these things together.

Josh Wilson has a great song called “Listen.” Although he’s specifically referring to listening to God, I think the principles fit with listening to other people as well. For me, it’s a great reminder (and a bit convicting too). Click on the link to be inspired by it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwwpzaZ74eg

Sharp, Mary Jo; Why Do You Believe That?  A Faith Conversation; Lifeway Press; 2012 & 2014.

Apologetics is about Sowing Seeds

For every hostile person we encounter, I believe there are many more who are neutral or even favorable to having faith conversations—they just don’t know whom to ask…If we see can see our faith conversations as part of God’s bigger plan, it can take a great deal of pressure off. We don’t have to have all the answers, but we can plant seeds that enable people to take one step closer to God. We can share what we know and trust that the Lord will bring others into their lives to help continue that process.

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I was sitting in my small group discussing Week One in Why Do You Believe That? when I realized that apologetics is an emotionally charged topic. Every woman in my group seemed to have specific people in mind that had been antagonistic towards their faith—whether they were family members, friends, neighbors or co-workers.

An emotional and articulate person who loves to argue makes for an intimidating opponent and a heated discussion.  If the person has a chip on his or her shoulder about the Christian faith, the potential for discomfort is even higher. Confrontational encounters with others can leave us feeling timid about engaging in future faith conversations.

These kinds of difficult interactions could cause us to avoid discussions about our faith altogether. However, assuming that people are going to be antagonistic causes us to miss out on some great opportunities. Yes, there are people who are hostile towards Christians for a variety of reasons: a negative experience with a church in the past; a painful circumstance that they blame on God; or a lack of understanding about the precepts of the Christian faith. If we can listen without feeling personally attacked, we may learn that their issues are roadblocks that can be removed through ongoing conversations in the context of a caring relationship.

For every hostile person we encounter, I believe there are many more who are neutral or even favorable to having faith conversations—they just don’t know whom to ask. I have encountered people who have been turned off by religious institutions, but are still very interested in learning about God and the Christian faith. Through our conversations, their negative views towards all things associated with God slowly begin to change as their understanding of Him grows.

If we can see our faith conversations as part of God’s bigger plan, it can take a great deal of pressure off. We don’t have to have all the answers, but we can plant seeds that enable people to take one step closer to God. We can share what we know and trust that the Lord will bring others into their lives to help continue that process. It becomes less daunting when we realize that we play one small part in sharing what we believe and why we believe it. The apostle Paul gives us a perfect example of this in his first letter to the church at Corinth as he examines his role in comparison with a fellow teacher, Apollos. He shows how each of us plays a different part in the process of sowing seeds of faith, but it is God who ultimately causes the seeds to grow:

“For when one says, ‘I follow Paul,’ and another, ‘I follow Apollos,’ are you not mere human beings? What, after all, is Apollos? And what is Paul? Only servants, through whom you came to believe—as the Lord has assigned to each his task. I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God has been making it grow. So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. The one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and they will each be rewarded according to their own labor. For we are co-workers in God’s service; you are God’s field, God’s building. By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as a wise builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should build with care.” (1 Corinthians 3:4-10, NIV)

All followers of Jesus are co-workers, serving God by sharing with others. And each of us should take the part we play seriously so that we can build on what others have shared with the wisdom and knowledge God has given to us.

In her Bible study, Mary Jo Sharp often references conversations she’s had with strangers on airplanes and after speaking engagements.   It might be difficult for those of us who don’t have those kinds of interactions regularly to picture where and when we could engage in faith conversations. I’ll share an example that might help you figure out how it could look in your life.

A few years ago I was sitting in the bleachers with another mom watching our boys play little league baseball. As we chatted, she mentioned her desire to send her older son to summer camp and wondered if I knew of any good ones. I took a risk and suggested she connect with a mutual friend who was sending her son to a camp with a solid biblical foundation.

Two years later, my friend from the bleachers was sending both of her kids to the same Christian camp and allowing them to attend youth group at the church that sponsored it. They were starting to ask questions about God and the Bible and she felt uncomfortable.   She had no faith history and no idea how to answer them.

Eventually I had the opportunity to invite this mom to attend a Bible study I was starting. She was hesitant, but intrigued. Ultimately, she decided to give it a try. Over the course of that year, her eyes were opened to God and the Christian faith in a way that she’d never experienced. She was able to ask questions that had nagged her for years and to experience the joy of Christian fellowship. However, at the end of the year, her schedule changed and she decided not to continue with our group.

Each time I’ve encountered her since she stopped coming, our conversations have been warm and friendly. Her recollections of the group have been positive. I don’t look at her choice not to continue as a failure. Seeds were planted in her heart and she learned foundational truth about God’s love for her.  She heard the gospel message and knows Jesus paid the price for her sins. She continues to have ongoing friendships with other Christians who are praying for her and loving her well.   Each of us has played a role in planting seeds and engaging in meaningful faith conversations with her. Never once has it been scary, tense or argumentative. Yet, we’ve been able to explain clearly and lovingly why and what we believe. She’s heard the truth and we will continue to love her and pray for her as she decides how she wants to respond to it.

Looking at Paul’s passage above, it’s clear that the Christians surrounding her have been “co-workers” who have each played a part in building a faith foundation for her. Paul encourages each Christ-follower to “build with care.” That is why we must never stop learning and growing. We must never treat our faith lightly or become apathetic or careless about it.   Learning the foundations of what we believe and why we believe it enables us to bless others and help them begin their own journey of faith.

Let’s not allow those hostile to our faith to deter us from sharing with others who are more open.   And instead of giving up on people who are antagonistic, let’s pray and ask God to bring a fresh voice to speak His truth in a way they can hear and receive. Remember, the apostle Paul was one of the most vehement enemies of the Christian faith who God transformed into one of its most impactful leaders. (Read Acts 9:1-31 if you need a reminder of what happened to him).  There is always hope, even with the most difficult people.

The band NEEDTOBREATHE has an inspiring song that reminds us sowing seeds of faith multiplies praise to God. The song describes the love of Jesus as “radiant diamonds bursting inside us we cannot contain.” It reminds me that having faith conversations is the most exciting and important thing we can ever do. Click on the link to enjoy the song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6uxsHVqGEQ

Sharp, Mary Jo; Why Do You Believe That?  A Faith Conversation; Lifeway Press; 2012 & 2014.

Always Be Ready

For some of us, the term “apologetics” is a little scary. We envision impassioned debates between highly knowledgeable and articulate opponents. For those of us who don’t find arguing to be a “fun” past time and who don’t enjoy confrontation, the thought of learning about apologetics might seem unappealing at best and excruciating at worst. If you’re nodding your head in agreement, please keep reading.

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Walking into the fire station’s immaculate garage, I’m surprised to find piles of clothing lying on the floor outside each truck’s open doors. The rest of the station is so orderly that the scene before me seems out of place. Turning to my brother, who is giving us a tour, I ask, “So, what’s with the clothes and boots on the floor? Were you guys in a hurry and just didn’t have time to hang up your stuff?”

He smiles wisely as he answers. “Nope. Everything is exactly as it should be. We do that to save time. When there’s an emergency, every second counts. During the day our wheels have to be rolling within sixty seconds of receiving a call. At night we have ninety seconds to get from our beds to the trucks.”

He begins showing me all of the different time saving measures the fire department takes to ensure a rapid departure: boots with zippers instead of laces, shirts with snaps (buttons are just for show on the outside), the fire pole that shaves forty-two seconds off the crew’s trip from their beds to the garage floor.   He explains that in health emergencies every second matters for averting brain or cardiac death. Rapid response is also crucial for fires, which double in size every minute.

The station’s garage no longer looks messy to me. Instead, I’m impressed realizing how attentive the department is to every detail. When calls for help come, the firefighters are always ready to respond.

Starting Focused Living’s new study on apologetics, that tour of my brother’s station makes the perfect example of the need for readiness in defending our faith. Author and  Bible teacher Mary Jo Sharp explains: “We shouldn’t need a crisis of doubt in order to learn to support our beliefs. Instead, we should begin to study the reasons for belief in God out of a love of truth.” (Why Do You Believe That? p.23) She points to the Apostle Peter’s teaching to substantiate her claim:

“But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.” (1 Peter 3:15, NIV)

The firefighters in my brother’s station are always ready because lives are at stake. Isn’t the same true for us? We need to spend time studying God’s word so that we can speak about it clearly when opportunities arise.

For some of us, the term “apologetics” is a little scary. We envision impassioned debates between highly knowledgeable and articulate opponents. For those of us who don’t find arguing to be a “fun” past time and who don’t enjoy confrontation, the thought of learning about apologetics might seem unappealing at best and excruciating at worst. If you’re nodding your head in agreement, please keep reading.

The first time I encountered a seasoned apologist was on the campus of my large, secular university. I heard his voice before I laid eyes on him. Rounding the corner, I saw a tall man standing on the main quad, surrounded by a large crowd of students. He spoke with a booming voice, sharing the good news of Jesus with a boldness and confidence that were truly inspiring. Hecklers in the crowd would occasionally interrupt to pose questions. He would stop speaking and look for the person who’d asked. Once he made eye contact, he would smile gently. “I’m glad you asked that,” he’d say, before giving a clear answer that made perfect sense. His Bible was in his hands as he paced back and forth in the small space the crowd gave him to move.

Standing on the fringes of the group, I was mesmerized by his words. Being a Christian at such a large university had often caused me to feel like I didn’t fit in. Hearing this man speak with conviction and confidence about Jesus out in public was like getting a pep talk from an inspiring coach. He wasn’t ashamed of the gospel, he was proud to share it, knowing he had something to offer his hearers that would change their lives for eternity.

Not all of us may be able to command a crowd like that apologist did on my college campus, but we all have opportunities to make an impact for Christ in our spheres of influence. So many times we get intimidated to share the hope we have because we don’t feel we know enough or we fear it might lead to conflict. I wonder how many opportunities I’ve missed because I was too afraid of saying the wrong thing.

That is why I’m so excited to be doing Mary Jo Sharp’s study: Why Do You Believe That? A Faith Conversation. In her first video teaching, she explains a few misperceptions that might hold us back from wanting to delve into apologetics.

First, she explains that apologetics has nothing to do with the word “apologize.” Apologetics means: “to make a case or present a defense.” She points out that giving a defense doesn’t mean we have to be defensive and that being able to argue doesn’t mean we have to be argumentative. On the contrary, studying apologetics will give us the confidence to speak clearly, putting our listeners and us at ease. That’s why the apologist at my college could say: “I’m glad you asked that,” and really mean it. He had an answer that would bless those hearing it.

Learning to speak clearly about what we believe and why we believe it will give us opportunities to engage people in meaningful conversations. We’ll have the chance to dispel misperceptions about Christians. Sometimes, we might even encourage fellow believers, as the apologist did for me when I was in college. Most importantly, we earn the right to be heard and get the chance to present a life-changing and soul-saving message to hurting people desperately in need of a Savior.

I look forward to sharing the adventure of this study with you over the next month and a half.  Mary Jo reminds us of Jesus’ words: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” (Matthew 22:37, NIV) Will you join me in praying that God will prepare our minds to absorb all of the truth this study has to offer? It’s just one of the many ways we can show the Lord we love Him.

Click on the link to hear Lincoln Brewster’s song “Love the Lord” which combines Jesus’ words in Matthew 22:37 with a similar command from Deuteronomy 6:5.

Sharp, Mary Jo; Why Do You Believe That?  A Faith Conversation; Lifeway Press; 2012 & 2014.