Category: Christian Living

The Can of Worms We Must Open

If we’re not actively engaging in shaping our kids’ sexual identities, we are letting the world do it for us. What they’re learning is completely contrary to God’s plan. We cannot allow our culture to influence our kids with the idea that the Bible’s teaching about sex is outdated or irrelevant.

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A few years ago I was hiking with a group of moms from my boys’ elementary school. Among the group of thirty friends and acquaintances, I ended up on the trail with two women that I only knew casually. As we climbed the winding path beneath a canopy of trees, one of them started sharing about her eight-year-old son who was asking questions about sex. She was shocked that a child still in elementary school was already curious and fretted about how to handle his questions. My heart started to pound faster, not because of the hill we were climbing but because I knew God was prompting me to say something. It seemed clear that she was grasping for a plan to navigate these uncharted waters of parenting.

After she finished sharing, she looked to her friend and me and asked, “So, how do you guys handle the whole topic of sex with your kids? I feel like it’s just opening a big can of worms.”

Her friend grimaced before answering. “I just avoid it and change the subject. It’s so awkward.”

I breathed a prayer and chimed in with a different perspective. “Well, my husband and I started talking about sex with our boys when they were pretty little. We knew by talking about it with them when they were so young would make it less awkward when they were older. Plus, it would enable us to be the first ones to share information with them, so we could begin to shape their views about sexuality. We wanted them to see us as credible sources of information so they wouldn’t be embarrassed asking us questions.”

Both women looked surprised and stared at me wide-eyed. Finally, one responded, “Seriously? You started talking about it with them before they were even asking about it? Wasn’t it awkward? Weren’t you embarrassed?”

We continued walking as I shared about the different resources we’d used to guide our conversations. I explained that talking about sex with our kids happened in short snippets over time. We had an open dialogue so that we could address issues and questions in age-appropriate ways rather than having “the talk” that people dread so much. We wanted to give them time to absorb information little by little so that they could build on their knowledge base.

When the hike ended, one of the women asked for more information on where to find resources, which I gladly shared. As I drove home, I started thinking about the paradox in our society regarding sex. Our culture is saturated with it. Even when we’re not seeking it, we’re continually bombarded with magazine covers, TV shows, music and billboards with overt or subtle messages about sex. Our kids are learning about it all the time through their exposure to popular culture. And yet, for as sex-obsessed as our western society seems to be, most parents dread educating their kids and having frank conversations about how to handle their sexuality as they mature.

For followers of Jesus, we should know better. If we’re not actively engaging in shaping our kids’ sexual identities, we are letting the world do it for us. What they’re learning is completely contrary to God’s plan.

First and foremost, we need to have a clear understanding of what the Bible teaches about sex. Before we can talk with our kids, we need to know and embrace God’s boundaries for it. A quick glance at any concordance reveals that the Bible has much to say on the topic. Here is one passage from the many choices:

“It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit.” (1 Thessalonians 4:3-8, NIV)

In case we need further clarification about God’s plan for sex, the book of Hebrews emphasizes that God intends it for marriage alone.

“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” (Hebrews 13:4, NIV)

We cannot allow our culture to influence our kids with the idea that the Bible’s teaching about sex is outdated or irrelevant. It may surprise you to learn that when Paul wrote to the Thessalonians they were living in a sex-saturated culture. In her session five video in the Children of the Day study, Beth Moore shared information about how people viewed sex in Thessalonica during the time of Paul’s ministry there. I looked up the commentary she referenced and found this description:

“In antiquity, ethics was the domain of the philosophers and not of the gods. Normally religion did not have anything to do with the moral-ity of the worshipers. In fact, a number of cults promoted a lifestyle that would have been viewed as immoral from a Christian perspective. Dio-nysus, the god of wine and drunkenness, is depicted in reliefs, statues, and mosaics with a vine and grapes laced through his hair and a down- turned empty cup in his hand, a symbol of drunkenness…The god promoted drinking wine and encouraged this solitary so-ber man to seek the sexual pleasures Aphrodite brings. Aphrodite was herself the symbol of sexual license and the patroness of the prostitutes.”*

For Christians, maintaining sexual purity then was as difficult as it is now. Despite this, we must not forget that God created sex. He is not trying to take away our fun by placing clear boundaries around what is and is not part of His plan. He wants what is best for us, not what is easiest. Helping our children to understand this when they are young enables them to enter the teen years with a clear sense that God has something better for them than casual sex with random people. It protects them from the lifelong scars that come from being sexually active in each new relationship they enter before marriage. We are setting them up for a much healthier view of their sexuality than the world offers. Giving them clear explanations also helps them resolve to wait for covenant relationships with their future husbands or wives. Praying for them helps too.

My hiking partner was right in one way: teaching our kids about sex is a lot like opening a can of worms. It can be messy and complicated trying to deal with that tangled and writhing mass of topics that make us squirm. But when we control the can opener and the pace of emptying the can, we get to take out one worm at a time to examine it carefully. It’s a lot less overwhelming that way.

Maybe you’re open to the idea of talking with your kids about sex, but you don’t know how or where to start. First, pray that God will give you wisdom, calm your nerves, remove the awkwardness and provide good opportunities to begin the dialogue. From my experience, I found it’s best to set aside time intentionally with one child at a time. Here are a few resources that you also might find helpful:

-Christian author and speaker Maryflo Ridley was the first person who helped me understand the importance of teaching our kids and shaping their sexual identities while they were still young. Her website has a host of great resources:

http://maryflo.org/#&panel1-3

Books:

-For parents of kids from Kindergarten through middle school the God’s Design for Sex book series by Stan and Brenna Jones is a great jumping off place. It has age appropriate books to read with your kids at different stages in their development (the first one is for ages 5-8 and they go up from there)

-For parents of elementary age kids:

The Squire and the Scroll: A Tale of the Rewards of a Pure Heart by Jennie Bishop is a great book to build a foundation in your kids that values purity. It doesn’t discuss sex specifically, but lays a foundation for future conversations.

-For parents of middle school and high school aged kids:

Five Conversations You Must Have with Your Daughter by Vicki Courtney

Five Conversations You Must have with Your Son by Vicki Courtney

And the Bride Wore White by Dannah K. Gresh

Raising a Modern Day Knight by Robert Lewis (this book is more about what true manhood is, but the principles in it connect to how to treat women and sexuality)

-Other Websites for parents of teenagers:

http://vickicourtney.com

http://www.virtuousreality.com

If you need a little courage to begin this journey, click on the link to hear Shane Harper’s song “Hold You Up.”

Moore, Beth; Children of the Day; 2014; Lifeway Press; http://www.lifeway.com

*The Pillar New Testament Commentary: The Letters to the THESSALONIANS, GENE L. GREEN, © 2002 Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing copied from http://www.wtsbooks.com/common/pdf_links/9780802837387.pdf

The Pros and Cons of “More”

Not all of these issues have black and white answers–just like my son’s view on the quantity of his Legos differs from mine. The Bible is one of the best places to find clear answers. Determining if you have more of something than you should is between you and God.

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Crossing the floor of my younger son’s bedroom sometimes feels like navigating my way through a bed of nails. When he is deep into his creative mode, colorful plastic Legos with hard edges and sharp corners cover his carpet. He can sit for hours surrounded by a pile of his favorite building materials. Vehicles, skyscrapers, spaceships and mini figures have overtaken much of the real estate on his bedroom floor. Although I often point out that he has more than enough, requests for new Lego sets regularly appear on his birthday and Christmas wish lists. He sighs at my lack of understanding when I use words like “gluttony” or “hoarding” to describe his obsession with Legos. It’s a good-natured disagreement over a fairly minor issue.   He thinks he needs more and I think he has more than he needs.

It turns out the Bible has quite a bit to say about the concept of “more” but the issues have much higher stakes. Sometimes abundance is positive, as we see when Paul, Silas and Timothy urge the Thessalonians to please God and to love one another more and more:

“As for other matters, brothers and sisters, we instructed you how to live in order to please God, as in fact you are living. Now we ask you and urge you in the Lord Jesus to do this more and more…  Now about your love for one another we do not need to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love each other. And in fact, you do love all of God’s family throughout Macedonia. Yet we urge you, brothers and sisters, to do so more and more.” (1 Thessalonians 4:1,9-10, NIV, bold print added)

There are other times, however, when Scripture shows “more” as not necessarily positive:

-Hatred: “Joseph had a dream, and when he told it to his brothers, they hated him all the more.” (Genesis 37:5, NIV, bold print added)

-Corruption: “But when the judge died, the people returned to ways even more corrupt than those of their ancestors, following other gods and serving and worshiping them. They refused to give up their evil practices and stubborn ways. (Judges 2:19, NIV, bold print added)

-Fear: “Saul became still more afraid of him, and he remained his enemy the rest of his days.” (1 Samuel 18:29, NIV, bold print added)

-Sinful Behavior: “Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more.” (Ephesians 4:19, NIV, bold print added)

Beth Moore explains the tension between positive and negative abundance in our lives: “Something is going to grow. Something will get ‘more’ of us. Will it be hatred? Coldness? Addiction? Sensuality? Perversion? Devotion? Affection? Belief? Blessing? Ask yourself this question as I do the same: knowing the propensity of things to grow, which way do I want to go? ‘More and more’ one direction will force its antithesis into ‘less and less.’ We get to decide which we want to feed and which we want to starve.” (Children of the Day, p. 93)

Sometimes it’s wise and healthy to take a step back and evaluate the things in our lives that are influencing us “more and more.” Use the questions below to consider how each area impacts what grows “more and more” in our lives:

The company we keep:

-Are our typical activities and topics of conversation honoring to God?

-Does alcohol play a prominent role in our times together and would we still have fun without it?

-How are our personal attitudes and outlooks affected after spending time together?

-Are our worldly friends rubbing off on us more or is our Christian faith rubbing off on them more?

The social and extracurricular activities in which our families participate:

-How do they impact our schedules and ability to have healthy time margins?

-Does involvement in them still make it possible to go to church and be involved in Christian community?

-Are they defining our self-worth or our children’s self-worth?

-Are they bringing out the best in our families or making us more prone to comparison and unhealthy competition?

The entertainment we enjoy:

-Do the movies, TV shows, magazines, books, websites, social media, blogs, games and other past times we like influence us more toward worldly viewpoints or godly ones?

-Do we make time for entertainment, but struggle to find time to spend with God daily?

The material things we acquire:

-Do we talk about, look at and shop for material things continually?

-Are there any material things that have captured our attention and become the central focus of our lives?

-Are we willing to make needed changes when we recognize that material objects are mattering to us “more and more”?

The personal comfort we crave:

-Do we spend a significant amount of time arranging for and focusing on our own personal comfort?

-Is an emphasis on our physical, emotional and relational comfort causing us to become self-centered?

-Is being comfortable more important than letting God stretch us in new ways?

Finding a healthy balance with these things is a lifelong endeavor that requires constant prayer and vigilance. Not all of these issues have black and white answers–just like my son’s view on the quantity of his Legos differs from mine. The Bible is one of the best places to find clear answers.  Determining if you have more of something than you should is between you and God.

If you’re feeling convicted after reading through the questions and consulting Scripture, do not be discouraged. This is a great step toward healthy growth and shows that you have a teachable heart. God is ready and waiting to help you when you admit your struggle to Him. In addition to praying, you may need to ask for help from a wise friend, counselor or pastor.   There is no need for guilt or personal condemnation.   God’s Word promises us: “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning.” (Lamentations 3:22-23a, NIV)

The good news is that there are things that we can pursue “more and more” without worrying about negative effects:

The Bible: The more we study it, the more we can be amazed by how God’s truth is woven together from start to finish. The more we learn, the hungrier we become to know more.

Prayer: The more we lay at the feet of God, the more we see Him working in our lives. This leads to more trust in God and more peace in all circumstances.

Jesus:  The more time we spend with Him, the more He reveals Himself to us and the deeper our relationship with Him grows.

The Holy Spirit: The more we ask Him to fill us, the more He gives us wisdom and enables us to impact the lives of others.

Christian Music: The more we listen to Christian music, the more we’re drawn to the heart of God and to seeing the world through a biblical lens.

A Godly Perspective on our Time and Finances: The more we see our time and money as belonging to God, the more willing we are to put aside our personal agendas in order to pursue Him, give generously and serve others to further His kingdom.

For more inspiration, click on the link to hear Colton Dixon’s song “More of You.” Make it your prayer as you listen.

(quote from Moore, Beth; Children of the Day; 2014; Lifeway Press; http://www.lifeway.com)

Taking the Hindrance Out of Our Hurt

Rather than letting hindrances and the hurt that often accompanies them shut us down, we can use them to grow in our spiritual maturity and ability to be used by God.

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The yellow ball bobbed in the water as my son swam behind it, pushing it forward with urgency as he sprinted the length of the pool. A player from the opposing water polo team was closing in on him fast. Suddenly, my boy’s body jerked to a stop and he appeared to be swimming in place. His opponent had reached out underwater and grabbed his ankle, pulling him backwards to keep him from getting any closer to the goal. I stared wide-eyed and turned to my husband, “Are they allowed to do that?”

He smirked before answering. “Well, not exactly, but sometimes it’s better to get a foul than to let someone shoot on the goal.”

Water polo, it turns out, is all about the teams creating hindrances for one another. I’ve often sat in the stands wincing as I watch one player put a hand on the shoulder of his opponent and hold his other hand high in the air, attempting to hinder him from scoring or passing to a team mate. I wouldn’t last five minutes, but my son seems to be energized by that kind of opposition. I’m amazed as I watch him pivot his body to swim around an opponent and drive toward the goal. For water polo players, moving past the hindrances seems to make a shot into the cage even more satisfying.

Could the same satisfaction come from getting around our own hindrances for God’s glory? If you’ve been doing Beth Moore’s study on 1 & 2 Thessalonians, you already know the answer is “yes.” She discusses several hindrances Paul identifies that can impede us from moving forward in our faith.

“14 For you, brothers, became imitators of the churches of God in Christ Jesus that are in Judea. For you suffered the same things from your own countrymen as they did from the Jews, 15 who killed both the Lord Jesus and the prophets, and drove us out, and displease God and oppose all mankind 16 by hindering us from speaking to the Gentiles that they might be saved—so as always to fill up the measure of their sins. But wrath has come upon them at last! 17 But since we were torn away from you, brothers, for a short time, in person not in heart, we endeavored the more eagerly and with great desire to see you face to face, 18 because we wanted to come to you—I, Paul, again and again—but Satan hindered us.” (1 Thessalonians 2:14-18, italics added, ESV)

Beth explains: “According to 1 Thessalonians 2:14-20, both people and Satan had authentically been successful at hindering Paul. But that’s just it. He kept pressing forward and refused to let the hindrance itself become a hindrance. He kept his squinting eyes on the goal. He didn’t get furious with God over all that had been permitted in his path or demand to know why God would make His will so utterly impossible to fulfill. He just stayed at it. He believed. He persevered” (Children of the Day, p. 70.)

In water polo, coaches use two terms as they shout directions to the players. During defensive plays, they’ll yell “press” when they want defenders to put pressure on offenders. The opposing players jostle in pairs, each trying to gain the advantage.   During offensive plays, coaches yell “drive,” spurring players to move toward open water and to find a position near the goal to score. Good players don’t let up on either one of these things. They press until they avert a goal and they drive until they score one.

Perhaps we can borrow some of their strategies when faced with our own hindrances in the spiritual realm. Rather than letting hindrances and the hurt that often accompanies them shut us down, we can use them to grow in our spiritual maturity and ability to be used by God. “What if, instead of fixating on taking the hurt out of our hindrance, we prayed for God to take the hindrance out of our hurt?” (Children of the Day p. 70)

Beth lists several “equations” to illustrate her idea. A few that resonated with me were:

Heartbreak – hindrance = depth

Disappointment – hindrance = faith

My pain – hindrance = my passion

I even added a few of my own to the list:

Insecurity – hindrance = authenticity

Self-consciousness – hindrance = sensitivity to others

Any hindrance we’ve experienced provides an opportunity for God’s transformation in our lives. When we lay them at His feet, He uses them to bless others. Consider Paul’s words: “3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 5 For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.” (2 Corinthians 1:3-5, NIV)

When we give God our hindrances, He matures us even as He heals and comforts us. The ways we learn and grow enable us to become a blessing for others facing similar challenges. In the process we are reminded that we are beloved children of the Almighty God, Who is hindered by nothing.

Click on the link below to watch Jason Gray’s music video “Remind Me Who I Am.” It provides some great visuals to help you remember that our hindrances do not define us. After watching, add your own equation to the comments section below and share the hindrance you need to relinquish to God so He can use your hurt for His glory.

Your Hurt- Your Hindrance = Your Opportunity to Impact Others and Glorify God.

(Moore, Beth; Children of the Day; 2014; Lifeway Press; http://www.lifeway.com)

Strategically Placed

The city of Thessalonica was located on premium real estate, but today being strategically placed has more to do with our perspectives than our physical locations. With Jesus in our lives, every place has the potential to become strategic for sharing the gospel.

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If you’ve ever bought or sold a property then you’re probably familiar with the three most important selling points of a home: “location, location, location.” The well-known adage from the real estate industry emphasizes a simple point–a good location is the best advantage for a favorable sale.

It turns out that geography also impacted the early church’s ability to spread the gospel. During Paul’s years of ministry, the city of Thessalonica was positioned to have great influence over the surrounding regions: “It was a powerful metropolis with easy access to the interior and the northern frontier by means of good roads, and it lay not far from Asia and other Roman provinces by way of the sea” (Beth Moore, Children of the Day p. 33-4 quoting Gene L. Green).

Once the Thessalonians heard the gospel from Paul and accepted Christ, they took their strategic placement for sharing the gospel seriously: “The Thesssalonians looked outward. These were not a rustic people who were occupied only with local concerns but a city of great influence in all spheres, not only the political and economic but also the religious. Therefore it comes as no surprise to hear that when the Thessalonians turned from their idols to the true and living God, they themselves became the ones who brought the gospel to Macedonia, Achaia, and everywhere (v.8)” (see previous reference).

Paul highlights how the Thessalonians looked outward: “The Lord’s message rang out from you not only in Macedonia and Achaia—your faith in God has become known everywhere” (1 Thessalonians 1:6). Because of their central location and their passion to share the gospel, everyone knew about the Thessalonians’ faith in the One True God.

The city of Thessalonica was located on premium real estate, but today being strategically placed has more to do with our perspectives than our physical locations. With Jesus in our lives, every place has the potential to become strategic for sharing the gospel. When we’re filled with the Spirit, our faith in God becomes “known everywhere.” Whatever situation we find ourselves in has the potential to be used to further God’s kingdom.

At times it may not be clear how the Lord is using us strategically, but if we continue to abide with Him, walk in obedience and pray for opportunities to be used, He will reveal His plan in time. Sometimes, our job is simply to position ourselves in a spot where God can use us and then to wait and see what He does.

When our kids were little, my husband and I made a deliberate choice to send them to public school. We wanted to be lights for Jesus among those who didn’t know Him. Our neighborhood school was a good one and seemed like the right fit for our boys. Over the nine years they attended their elementary school, I volunteered alongside teachers and parents in many different capacities. Time spent at the school provided opportunities to build trust and develop friendships. Sometimes, it also gave me chances to share my faith in Jesus.

Four of those elementary years were spent pouring myself into an after-school math program. I’d prayed about doing it and felt God was calling me to it, but sometimes questioned whether teaching math was really the best use of my time. It didn’t feel very spiritually significant to me. I didn’t realize how God was laying a foundation for future opportunities. Through my involvement there, I developed close relationships with several different parents who co-taught with me.   One of those moms eventually came to Focused Living with me and later asked me to co-lead a smaller group study in her home. Another one of my previous co-teachers joined us and just began her second year with our group of ten women. (To read more about this story, see my blog “Being Open Handed is a State of Mind.”)

Now I see how God strategically placed me teaching math to fourth and fifth graders so that I could build those relationships and hone my teaching skills. The women in the home study are all there because God strategically placed them in my life or my co-leader’s life. We befriended them over the years through volunteering in classrooms, rooting for our kids on sports fields and crossing paths in our neighborhoods. Had it not been for that math class, I would not be experiencing the joy of pouring into them weekly as they learn from God’s word.

Strategic placement is about recognizing your proximity to others who need Christ’s love and then inviting God to use you in their lives. It takes time, patience and persistence. I continue to discover places where God has strategically placed me so that I can gain valuable experiences and bless others. Whether it is helping an elderly neighbor in distress, sharing lunch with a young mom in need of some adult conversation or providing encouragement to a struggling teen, any place in my life becomes strategic when I offer it up to God.

What areas in your life is God already using strategically? Maybe you’re not convinced your current “location” is a favorable one for Him to use. If that’s the case, pray and ask Him to open your eyes and show you where He wants to use you to further His kingdom. Here are a few ideas to consider:

-Within your home and extended family (spouse, kids, grandkids, nieces, nephews, parents, in-laws)

-In your neighborhood (maybe it’s time to reach out to that neighbor whose name you don’t know)

-Anywhere you volunteer (secular or Christian)

-In your homeschool co-op (these parents rarely get a moment to themselves to read God’s word and be encouraged!)

-In your Christian school (families at Christian schools need to be encouraged to grow deeper too)

-Groups you belong to (Bunco, Bridge, quilting, college alumni, service organizations, country club, golf, tennis, bocce ball, hiking, gourmet, etc.)

-Places you frequent (grocery stores, doctor’s & dentist’s offices, staff and patients at your chemotherapy treatment center, banks, dry cleaners, hair/ nail salons)

-Places your kids are involved (schools, PTA meetings, sports teams, choirs, academic clubs, friends/ classmates)

-At work (co-workers, clients/ patients/ students)

Your strategic place can be with anyone anywhere. When the Holy Spirit leads the way, things just fall into place. He does all the work–you are simply His willing instrument.

Try praying a simple prayer like this: “God, open my eyes to a place in my life where You want to use me strategically to further Your kingdom. Pour out your Spirit and equip me with the tools I need to impact others for You.”

Post a comment to let us know how God is using you strategically!

If you still need further encouragement and inspiration, click on the link and enjoy Josh Wilson’s song “Pushing Back the Dark.”

Pour Out Your Spirit

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Inspiring stories spill off the pages of the book of Acts. We see the lives of ordinary people transformed by the power of the Holy Spirit, causing the message of the gospel to spread like a swollen river flooding the flatlands. Fishermen from sleepy villages spoke to educated men with wisdom, courage and authority. Believers gathered to pray fervently in the face of persecution and saw God move and work in mighty ways.

One of these stories happened in Acts 4 after Peter and John spoke confidently before the Jewish authorities about Jesus being the Savior of all people. When the Jewish leaders “saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus.” (Acts 4:13)

Peter and John returned to the other believers and gathered with them to pray about those opposing them. They spoke with conviction, inviting God to do a mighty work in them:

“Now, Lord, consider their threats and enable your servants to speak your word with great boldness. Stretch out your hand to heal and perform signs and wonders through the name of your holy servant Jesus.

After they prayed, the place where they were meeting was shaken. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God boldly.” (Acts 4:29-31)

The story is inspiring, but may feel like something that no longer happens in the modern world. Beth Moore begs us to reconsider: “Is He not the same God? Has He not said that He’d pour out His Spirit on His sons and daughters (Joel 2:28)? Must we hunker down in the cramped limits of the status quo? Or will we welcome Him to do the exceptional when He pleases, to wreck our small notions and loosen our tongues with ‘Who then is this who does such things?’” (Children of the Day p. 25)

Maybe these ideas intrigue you, but you wonder how something like this could happen in your life. Perhaps they sound intimidating, scary even. If you were trying to find this kind of courage or power on your own strength, you wouldn’t get very far.  Let’s not miss two key phrases from these stories: “these men had been with Jesus” and “they were all filled with the Holy Spirit.” Courage, boldness and authority flow through us when we are abiding with Jesus and letting the Holy Spirit fill us to capacity.  We’re just empty vessels, all the power comes from Him.

Everyone who accepts Christ receives the Spirit. After all, Ephesians 1:13 states it plainly: And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit.

Being filled with the Spirit is not just a single event, however. It is an ongoing process. In the Acts 4 story above, the believers already had the Spirit, yet after they prayed they were “filled and spoke the word of God boldly.”

But how does that work? Can we continue to be filled more and more by the Spirit even after we’re saved?

Imagine a thimble filled with water. It’s at capacity, not another drop could fit inside. Now imagine a drinking glass. It’s bigger, so more water fits inside, but it’s still filled to capacity. Finally, imagine a swimming pool brimming over with water. Each of these containers has a limit and once it is exceeded, it will overflow. The bigger the container, the more the surroundings will get wet when it does.

In the same way, the Spirit impacts those around us as He fills us so full that we begin to overflow.  But unlike a solid container, our ability to receive Him increases each time He fills us and we pour Him out.  I think that’s what Joel 2:28 describes when the Lord says: I will pour out my Spirit on all people.
Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions.

Maybe the believers in Acts 4 had a swimming pool-sized capacity for the Holy Spirit because they invited His filling so often. They prayed bold prayers and asked God to move, and He did. They spoke with authority and acted courageously because the Spirit was flowing through them.

Whether our capacities for the Spirit are more in line with a thimble, a glass or something bigger, there is always room for expansion. May I humbly suggest that if you’re interested in seeing more of the Holy Spirit’s power in your life, you pray a simple prayer each day? Try something like this: “Lord, pour out your Spirit on me. Increase my capacity to receive you and to be used by you.”

The Holy Spirit does the work of enlarging our capacities incrementally over time as we seek God and grow in faith. Sometimes we may not realize it’s happening until we see Him do something in us that He hasn’t done before. Growth happens through consistently pursuing the Lord one step of obedience at a time.

The Thessalonian church saw the Spirit work. Beth Moore points out that both the writers of 1 & 2 Thessalonians and the readers “got wet with the work of the Spirit when the wave of the gospel flooded Thessalonica.” She says “I want to get wet in that wave too. Don’t you? I long to be keenly conscious of God’s power and presence when He makes Himself known…Authentic anointing: there is no substitute.” (Children of the Day p. 26.)

Let’s pray for “authentic anointing” as we study these sacred books together. I can’t wait to see the way the Spirit overflows in our midst.

Phil Wickham’s song “Heaven Fall Down” captures the idea of increasing our capacity for the Spirit. Let the words of the song become you prayer as you listen.

Advance Part 5: Making Your Hardship Serve the Gospel

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Last summer one of my closest friends from high school passed away after battling cancer. If you’ve been following this blog for a while, you may recall a post I wrote about her last days called “Christians Never Have to Say Goodbye.”

I couldn’t help thinking about Kristi and her family as I heard Beth Moore share the final point of her ADVANCE acrostic:

E– Everything is redeemed if it serves the gospel

Beth’s main point was that we have the choice to use our hardships to advance the gospel and spread God’s kingdom on earth. I watched Kristi’s husband do this over the course of her brutal cancer treatments and her last days before going home to heaven. His regular posts on Caring Bridge not only updated friends and family about Kristi’s health condition, they also shared his faith journey with authenticity and boldness. It was impossible to read through a post without being pointed to the person of Jesus and to be reminded that true hope is found only in Him.

My friend’s husband exemplifies the idea of submitting something awful for the sake of the gospel. In the past year he has continued to write about his journey as he’s sorted through the grief of losing his wife and raising their four kids. He doesn’t sugar coat life as a single parent with sunny platitudes, but he does share the hope he continues to find through faith in Jesus.  Countless lives around the globe continue to be impacted by the truth he shares.

The Apostle Paul did something similar throughout his ministry. He took hardships he endured and used them to advance the gospel. Rather than focusing only on his “target audience,” he viewed anyone in his path as a perfect candidate for hearing the good news of Jesus. Even his guards and fellow inmates in prison benefitted from being near him. He rejoiced at the opportunity to share with these captive audiences.

“Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel. As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ” (Philippians 1:12-13).

In some cases, Paul’s faith was so evident in the midst of hardships that others were drawn to him even when he wasn’t focusing on them specifically:

“After they had been severely flogged, they were thrown into prison, and the jailer was commanded to guard them carefully. When he received these orders, he put them in the inner cell and fastened their feet in the stocks.

About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them. Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everyone’s chains came loose. The jailer woke up, and when he saw the prison doors open, he drew his sword and was about to kill himself because he thought the prisoners had escaped. But Paul shouted, ‘Don’t harm yourself! We are all here!’

The jailer called for lights, rushed in and fell trembling before Paul and Silas. He then brought them out and asked, ‘Sirs, what must I do to be saved?’

They replied, ‘Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household.’ Then they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all the others in his house. At that hour of the night the jailer took them and washed their wounds; then immediately he and all his household were baptized. The jailer brought them into his house and set a meal before them; he was filled with joy because he had come to believe in God—he and his whole household” (Acts 16:23-34).

Here are few thoughts based on these passages and Beth Moore’s teaching:

-We don’t always get to pick our circumstances, but we can choose how to respond to them

-We can trust God in the midst of a hardship and ask Him to reveal Himself and use it to advance His kingdom

-We can’t put boundaries around with whom, where or when we share the gospel; our “target audience” is anyone God puts in our path.

-When our focus is on God and we spend time with Him, our faith will naturally overflow to impact others

-It is biblical and honoring to God when we focus on Him in the midst of our hardships; this pleases Him and gives hope to others

I’m aware that these things are easy to write about, but much more challenging to put into practice. Still, what do you have to lose by praying a simple prayer like this: “God, use the hardship I’m facing right now to advance the gospel”?  Ask God to draw your attention to the ways He’s inviting you to advance the gospel in the midst of your difficulties.

Writing about Beth Moore’s teaching from the Living Proof Live event I attended has made it sink in so much more. I hope it’s been a blessing in your life and has inspired you while giving you practical tools to advance the gospel.

Here is the acrostic in its entirety:

A- A kingdom is coming

D- Dare to advance it

V- Vie fiercely in prayer

A- Add traction to your action

N- Never take a “no” from the devil

C- Cease the policing and the pacing

E- Everything is redeemed if it serves the gospel

*Special note to those planning to join Focused Living at CPC this fall: If you enjoyed reading about Paul and Silas in the Acts passage above, you are going to love our first study this fall on 1 & 2 Thessalonians by Beth Moore called Children of the Day.

If you’d like a great example of someone who is using his hardship to serve the gospel, visit Kristi’s husband’s blog at the link below.

http://www.bgoneb9bhealed.com/blog/

If you’re in the midst of a hardship right now, click on the link and be encouraged by Casting Crowns’ song “Praise You in the Storm”

Advance Part 3: Keeping Your Courage Tank Full

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“Failure is not an option.” Can you picture a macho guy in an action adventure movie saying this to his team before sending them out on an impossible mission? While it sounds great, failure is an unavoidable part of our lives. How we respond to failure is the place where we have control.

Beth Moore explored this idea at the Living Proof Live event I attended in Stockton in June. My last few posts have expanded on some of the themes from her acrostic: A-D-V-A-N-C-E.

So far, we’ve covered the first four letters:

A- A kingdom is coming

D- Dare to advance it

V- Vie fiercely in prayer

A- Add traction to your action

Today we’ll look at the next letter:

N- Never take a “no” from the devil

Beth explained that Satan uses our failures and defeats to diminish our effectiveness and to convince us we’ll never succeed. Whether it’s falling back into an old pattern of sin or seeing a ministry we’re involved with flounder, we tend to let failures have more power over us than they should. However, God can use our setbacks to His advantage. He can teach us humility and grace or show us areas that need to be surrendered to Him. Our failures fertilize the soil we need for growth.

When we fixate on our defeats, they cause us to wallow in fear and insecurity, preventing us from advancing in our spiritual journeys or taking ground for God’s kingdom.   Beth used the analogy of a tank of gas, describing the way failures can drain our “courage tank” if we don’t submit them to God.

The Apostle Paul describes it this way:  “I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death.” (Philippians 1:20)

Evaluating how full our courage tanks are should be a regular practice when we’re serious about following Jesus. If we find the needle on our gauge pointing towards “empty” then it’s time to surrender our fears to God and let Him fill us with “sufficient courage.”

Beth asked “What would you be like if you were operating at full courage? What do you have to lose?”

For me, operating at “full courage” means that I’m finding my confidence in Christ and developing the potential God has given me. I’m relying on Him to work through me and to use my spiritual gifts for His glory. I’m not looking to other people to define me or make me feel worthwhile because God is enough for me. When I’m operating at “full courage” I experience joy because of God’s incredible love for me, not because circumstances are lining up according to my plans.

A few years ago I encountered a season of failure that caused my confidence to falter and my faith to stall.   Looking back, I see how Satan capitalized on my insecurity to diminish my effectiveness in advancing God’s kingdom.

Over the course of a year I developed friendships with two different women who were struggling personally and seeking me for wisdom and encouragement. As my relationship with each of them grew, natural opportunities to share the gospel arose. Both seemed interested and excited to learn more- whether it was attending church or meeting with me regularly. It was exhilarating to have them ask spiritual questions and to point them toward Jesus. And then, without warning, each of them cut off relationship with me within a few months of each other. No return phone calls or texts; no answers to my e-mails. If I happened to bump into them around town they were cool and distant.

I continued to pray for both of them, but I was confused and bitter—disillusioned that I’d put myself out there only to have the relationships end abruptly with no explanation.

For several years, I shied away from reaching out to others, assuming there was something I’d done wrong to turn them off. I could only see my perceived failure. Satan had cut me off at the knees and robbed me of my courage and confidence.

So, two years ago when a new friend began asking spiritual questions, I was wary and hesitant. Her persistence won me over and I began sharing more of my faith with her. Eventually she plugged into Bible study with me and later coaxed me into starting a Bible study with her to reach other women in our community. (I’ve written more about this story in the post “Being Open Handed is a State of Mind” in April 2013).

Because of my perceived failures in the past, I turned to God, asking for His guidance, wisdom and courage. Instead of relying on my own abilities and previous experiences, I sought Him with each plan and decision along the way.   He taught me to trust Him one step at a time and to rely on Him for my confidence instead of my own skill or the approval of others.

I’d grown to expect rejection and was not prepared to have so many of the women we invited say “yes” to joining us for a Bible study. My co-leader and I moved forward with our plans in obedience. We didn’t worry about failure because we trusted God would provide whatever outcome He thought best.

In the last year, ten of us have been meeting weekly to study the Bible. For most of the women, this is the first time they’ve ever studied Scripture in their lives. Watching them grapple with God’s word, apply it to their lives and see Him at work has been like watching flowers bloom in a garden. Seeing their growth has filled my courage tank and made me realize the joy that comes from being used by God. My “failures” from a few years ago made me rely on God so much more than I ever did in the past.

A few weeks ago our group members gathered with our husbands, kids and some additional friends to host an event for Stop Hunger Now. The women in the group were eager to respond to God’s love by doing a service project together. I was overcome with joy watching as our kids laughed together wearing hairnets and packing food for the needy. Around fifty people came to help. A year ago, most of these women hadn’t even read the Bible, yet now they were advancing God’s kingdom in their families as they reached out to the hungry across the globe.

I’m glad I didn’t take a “no” from the devil when I felt discouraged after being rejected by my two friends. Looking to God to redeem my failure paved the way for His kingdom to be advanced. God has an amazing way of using setbacks to further His Kingdom. Our job is to let Him do it.

If you’ve been in a season of failure, click on the link below and be encouraged by Jason Gray’s song “Nothing is Wasted.”

And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.   (Ephesians 3:17b-19)

IMG_1187For more information on Stop Hunger Now, or to host a meal-packing event, go to: http://www.stophungernow.org

Advance!

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Last week I had my first experience seeing Beth Moore teach in person at a Living Proof Live event in Stockton, CA. I was impressed as she described praying that God would give her a specific word for our group of 5000 that weekend. God delivered some powerful answers to her prayers and used her to inspire the crowd in mighty ways.

Her theme for the weekend was “Advance!” based on this verse: “Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters,that what has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel.” (Philippians 1:12)

She admonished us to advance in the gospel personally so that we could advance the gospel in the lives of others. Using the acrostic “A-D-V-A-N-C-E” she led us through a series of key points to make Paul’s message in Philippians applicable to our lives today. I always absorb information more thoroughly by taking notes and reviewing them. I’ll be using my next few posts to share the key points from her three talks and then I’ll add my own thoughts about them.

Here are the first two parts of the acrostic:

A- A Kingdom is Coming.

“And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come.”   (Matthew 24:14)

God’s kingdom is a present reality and a future reality. When we share the gospel, we participate in spreading His kingdom on earth.   To advance the gospel, we must know God’s word and then pray for open doors to share it with others. Whether we have the gift of evangelism or not, this is part of our call as followers of Christ.

Every time we pray the Lord’s Prayer, we ask God to further His kingdom when we say: “‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name,your kingdom come, 
your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” (Matthew 6:9-10) Asking for God’s will to be done on earth allows us to claim territory for Him. As hearts and minds surrender to Christ, we advance His Kingdom and the world around us changes for the better. We also add to the ranks of the souls who will celebrate in God’s forever kingdom.

Furthering the kingdom is about living out the gospel first with our deeds and then with our words. When our actions toward others align with God’s will and word, we bless them and spread His kingdom. Mother Teresa said it well: “Spread the love of God through your life but only use words when necessary.”

D- Dare to Advance It

The Greek word for “advance” is “prokopen” which Beth explains as “to beat or drive forward as if with repeated strokes, hence to go forward or further, make progress, proceed.” She connected this to the example of clearing dense brush in a jungle using a machete. Similarly, we use the sword of the Spirit to hack through the darkness to advance the Kingdom of God. “Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” (Ephesians 6:17)

If we don’t advance in our knowledge of the word of God, we won’t understand the access we have to God’s incredible power. Without these things, we can’t further God’s kingdom. Bible study doesn’t sound quite so tame when it’s described like that.

Don’t let all this talk about hacking through darkness scare you! Spreading God’s kingdom isn’t about hitting people over the head with a Bible. It’s about loving them. Here are few ideas for advancing the kingdom:

-Show compassion to a hurting world

-Give mercy instead of judging people

-Be honest about your own sin and brokenness with God and others

-Forgive people when they don’t deserve it

-Allow time in your day to be interrupted, to listen, to show kindness

-Say “no” to selfishness and self-absorption

None of these things can be done on your own strength. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you and equip you, then advance!

Every time I hear Jason Gray’s song “With Every Act of Love” it inspires me to further the kingdom of God on earth.   It makes me realize simple acts of love lead others to want to know Him. This is how we advance the gospel.

Click on the link to hear “With Every Act of Love.”

**Special thanks to my son for creating the scene of the advancing Lego army for this week’s photo.

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Grappling with Change

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The end of the school year always makes me nostalgic and a bit wistful. This year was especially poignant as we had three nephews and two nieces graduate from high school or college.   As I sat in the audience during one niece’s graduation ceremony, scenes flashed through my mind of the eighteen previous years, starting with the day she was born. It’s hard to believe she’s grown and about to leave for college in a few months. I know I’m getting older every day, but those milestone moments drive it home with extra impact.

Change is a part of life, but sometimes I don’t like it very much.   Kids grow up, friendships change, and communities evolve. All of this is normal, but sometimes it creates an ache in me that spirals to a place of deep longing.   If I’m not careful, I can wallow in my sadness and lose sight of the truth.

Life is constantly changing and there is nothing I can do to stop it. However, there is a greater Truth that gives me hope in spite of this:

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” (Hebrews 13:8).

No matter what changes this life may bring, God is always the same. He is our Solid Rock and the firm foundation on which we stand. Our circumstances may change, our relationships may ebb and flow, our health may fail us, but God will never leave us or forsake us.

“My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.” (Psalm 62:1-2)

There is an old hymn that has been a favorite of mine for many years called “The Solid Rock” by Edward Mote.

 My hope is built on nothing less


Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;


I dare not trust the sweetest frame,


But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.

 When darkness veils His lovely face,


I rest on His unchanging grace;

In every high and stormy gale,


My anchor holds within the veil.

 His oath, His covenant, His blood


Support me in the whelming flood;


When all around my soul gives way,


He then is all my hope and stay.

 When He shall come with trumpet sound,


Oh, may I then in Him be found;


Dressed in His righteousness alone,


Faultless to stand before the throne.

 Refrain: 


On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;


All other ground is sinking sand,


All other ground is sinking sand.

It’s based on Jesus’s teaching in Matthew 7:24-26.

“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”

If we want Jesus to be our firm foundation, then we need to read His word and put it into practice. As we pursue Him, He’ll continue to shape our characters and refine our perspectives. Although I don’t like change, this is transformation I want. This is change I need.

Jesus is the Solid Rock to which we cling in this world of shifting sand. Having a firm foundation beneath our feet gives us hope and courage to press on. We can be reassured and filled with confidence knowing God never changes.  How could we ever keep this amazing hope to ourselves when there is a world that desperately needs to hear Truth?

Click on the link to hear a newer interpretation of “The Solid Rock.” Hillsong sings this recent version called “Cornerstone.” (The title comes from Isaiah 28:16 and 2 Peter 2:6 depicts Jesus as our Cornerstone– the most important stone in a structure which determines the design and orientation of the entire building. Noted in the Zondervan Study Bible).

Developing Your Potential

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Buckling his seatbelt as we drove away from practice, my son turned to me with excitement. “Guess what, Mom? My lacrosse coach wants me to try out for his soccer team this weekend.”

“Wow, buddy, that’s quite a compliment. I didn’t even know he coached two different sports. I guess we can think about it, but why did you say ‘no’ when I asked you about signing up for tryouts a long time ago?” I probed.

After a moment of thoughtful silence, he answered. “I don’t know. I guess it just felt good to be asked and to know he believes in me.”

My son knew he had potential, but he wasn’t motivated to tap into it until his coach validated it too. With the knowledge that someone else was on his side, his confidence skyrocketed. This was obvious even in his last few games of the lacrosse season as he ran up the field dodging opponents and scoring goals. His athletic abilities hadn’t changed, but his belief in himself had grown exponentially.

It’s a good lesson for all of us. When we know a person recognizes potential in us, we are more eager to develop it.   I’ve experienced this in the last few years as others have challenged me to develop gifts God has given me for teaching, leading and writing. I would not be writing this blog if the women in my writers group and an inspiring leader from church hadn’t been there to spur me on. Similarly, I would never have had the courage to start a Bible study for women exploring faith if a friend hadn’t believed in me and partnered with me to do it.

God has given each of us a unique set of spiritual gifts, heart desires, abilities, personality traits and personal experiences to be developed and used for Him. When we take the time to discover and develop them, God uses all of these things to further His Kingdom. Pastor Erik Rees has created some excellent materials for exploring them in his study, S.H.A.P.E. Finding and Fulfilling Your Unique Purpose for Life. He encourages us to consider Galatians 6:4-5:

“Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.”   (The Message)

As followers of Christ, we’ve been entrusted with a life changing message and all of the tools we need to share it. Yet we often get tempted to find what’s comfortable and stick with it. We rely on the same people to perform certain jobs in ministries without ever asking God if there are new ways He wants to stretch us. Stepping out to risk facilitating a small group or leading worship may sound frightening. Perhaps there is a group of praying parents in need of a leader, but you don’t think your prayers are eloquent enough. Or maybe you’re great with kids, but fear you don’t have the Bible knowledge to lead them at church.   You might have the gift of administration but hesitate, not wanting to commit the time to use it in a certain ministry. Is it possible that you’ve grown comfortable and complacent watching others give and serve? Have you and opted out of using your potential with different rationalizations?

The Apostle Paul was great at coaching and developing the gifts and skills in others. We see this in his relationship with Timothy, a young partner in ministry with whom he traveled. In one letter Paul writes to Timothy:

“For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come. This is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance. That is why we labor and strive, because we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all people, and especially of those who believe. Command and teach these things. Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching and to teaching. Do not neglect your gift, which was given you through prophecy when the body of elders laid their hands on you. Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers.” (1 Timothy 4:8-16)

Paul admonished Timothy to persevere and not let his ministry be deterred by insecurity about his youthfulness. He told Timothy not to neglect his gifts but to use them fully and to continue developing them. The purpose was to optimize his effectiveness in sharing the good news of Jesus. Discovering and using our gifts is about honoring God and blessing others, not elevating ourselves.

Maybe you’re like my son who needed his coach to recognize the potential he had.  With an encourager to cheer you on perhaps you’d be more willing to discover new ways God could use you. If you’re intrigued by this idea, pray that He’ll give you the desire and the tools to discover how your gifts, experiences, personality and passion can be used for His glory. Pray for a person who can help you identify them and develop them.  If you already know your gifts, pray and evaluate how effectively you’re using them right now. Ask the Holy Spirit to give you courage and confidence if you’re feeling afraid or insecure. Maybe it’s time to branch out and trust Him to take the next step. Once He starts moving in you, you’ll never want to go back to your ordinary way of life.

Casting Crowns has an inspiring new song called “Thrive.” Click on the link to listen, then pray about how God wants to tap into your potential.