Three Aspects of Walking Worthy

Although the words in Paul’s letter to believers in Ephesus were penned two thousand years ago, they contain rich relevance for us today. Filled with wisdom on a wide array of specific topics, he shows us how to walk in a manner that’s worthy of our calling as God’s beloved children (Ephesians 4:1). As one commentary explains, “Christian living requires certain and specific actions. The Christian faith is not a passive religion; it is an aggressive pursuit of the productive and beneficial.”

Ephesians 5 touches on specific actions that have a profound impact on our pursuit of Jesus. Let’s look at three topics from this important book that show us how to walk worthy of our calling.

Sexual Purity: “Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God. Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God’s people.” (Ephesians 5:1-3 NLT)

Continuing one of his themes from chapter 4, Paul reminds believers here that we’re meant to live differently from the world in regard to sexual practices. We’ve thrown off our old selves and have been made new in the attitudes of our minds. Our hearts are no longer hardened or ignorant about sin. (4:18-24). In Christ, our habits, behaviors, and attitudes about sexual activity set us apart from the world because we have a “new nature” (4:24). Rather than taking our cues from popular culture, personal feelings, physical urges, or worldly influences, we seek the wisdom of the Bible as our guide. 

Of course, with the steady influence of the world, it’s still easy for believers to fall into misguided views on this topic. When we avoid hard truth in Scripture and float with the current of popular culture, we’re bound to make compromises when it comes to sex. Rather than being deceived or confused by current practices, let’s stand solidly on the wisdom of God’s Word that has remained unchanging for thousands of years. We need to open our Bibles and allow God’s truth to buff away the callouses of the world that desensitize us to sensuality and lust. Let’s stop normalizing habits of mind and body that ultimately damage our souls and our relationships. 

This is a sensitive topic that may make you uncomfortable. Will you invite the Lord to speak into your life around your views and practices regarding sex? 

Speech and Language: “Obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes—these are not for you. Instead, let there be thankfulness to God.” (Ephesians 5:4, NLT) As with sexual practices, Paul continues his discussion from Ephesians 4. He explains language believers should avoid: Foul, abusive, obscene, foolish, coarse. He also lays out what language they should use instead: Good, helpful, encouraging, thankful (4:25-32).

Foul language has become pervasive in our culture. We’ve been desensitized by hearing it used frequently in media and by public figures. Because humans are prone to social contagion, we unconsciously mirror what we see and hear. The prevalence of swear words and harsh language used in casual conversation has become commonplace, even among followers of Jesus. Choosing to be intentional about preventing obscene and foul language from polluting our vocabularies sets us apart from the world. Being deliberate about speaking words of encouragement, kindness, and gratitude differentiates us and shows we’re walking in a manner worthy of our calling as followers of Jesus.

Have you allowed the world to influence the way you talk? Consider spending time with the Lord and inviting Him to search your heart and show you any behaviors, tendencies, or vocabulary that you need to confess. Let His cleansing mercy free you to walk unfettered by sin and to live worthy of your calling. 

Drinking Alcohol in Excess: “Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit.” (Ephesians 5:17-18, NLT)

Paul compares two different elements that have the power to control a person’s mind and behavior: alcohol and the Holy Spirit. The effects have vastly different results. One commentary explains, “Getting drunk leads to a loss of self-control; being filled with the Spirit leads to more self-control (Galatians 5:22–23). We cannot be controlled by both alcoholic spirits and the Holy Spirit at the same time. When we choose to ingest mind-altering substances, we are effectively choosing to give ourselves over to the control of something other than the Holy Spirit.”2  

Some believers avoid alcohol altogether while others drink in moderation. Regardless of where you stand on this issue, the Bible is clear that getting drunk isn’t harmless fun—it dishonors God, causes us to lose our inhibitions, and often leads to further sin. In a culture that celebrates and focuses on alcohol consumption, we need to be thoughtful as believers about how we handle this challenging topic. Let’s walk worthy of our calling, following the wisdom of Scripture: “Be sober-minded, be alert. Your adversary the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion, looking for anyone he can devour.” (1 Peter 5:8 CSB)

How might you be acting thoughtlessly when it comes to alcohol? Do you drink to numb negative emotions? Is alcohol your source of courage or relaxation? Is it the main ingredient required to have fun? What are you modeling for your kids or grandkids? Will you pray and invite God to speak into your views and habits around drinking and let Him renew your mind wherever you’ve gotten off track? (Romans 12:1-2)

Paul addresses many hard topics in Ephesians 4 & 5. While some of his words may cause conviction or discomfort, his purpose is to show us how to mature in our faith and avoid hindrances to our growth (Hebrews 12:1-2). His wisdom is for our good and God’s glory. “So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do.” (Ephesians 5:15-17, NLT) 

If one of these topics brought the discomfort of conviction, don’t miss the opportunity to seek the Lord in prayer. Lean into your loving Heavenly Father, be honest with Him and confess where you’re struggling. He’s there to forgive you and guide you onto a better path that will bless you and honor Him.

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Inspired by Ephesians: A Study of Faith and Practice by Jackie Hill Perry, Jasmine Holmes and Melissa Kruger, Lifeway Press, 2024

  • 1. Klyne Snodgrass, The NIV Application Commentary: Ephesians, Zondervan, 1996 as quoted in Ephesians: A Study of Faith and Practice by Perry, Holmes and Kruger, 133.
  • 2. Got Questions Website

Grieving the Spirit

Isn’t there something magical about a campfire under the stars? Wood crackles and pops as flames dance on a cool, dark night. The light draws people to gather and enjoy the warmth. It creates a sense of connectedness among those who savor the glow together—especially on a chilly evening. 

For the past few years I’ve enjoyed participating in this nightly ritual on our church’s annual mission to Mexico. One year the temperatures were especially cold, so gathering around the campfire was even more enticing. At the end of each evening, the only way to encourage the students to return to their tents was to douse the flames. As buckets of water poured out, steam hissed, rising with plumes of smoke from the quenched fire. Once the water extinguished the flames, everyone scattered to seek warmth zipped inside tents and nestled in sleeping bags.

This image brings to mind the Holy Spirit, often characterized as fire in the pages of Scripture. Acts 2 provides the most obvious example of this: “When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place. Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them.” (Acts 2:1-4, NIV)

Although we no longer see actual flames on our heads, followers of Jesus still have the fire of the Holy Spirit living within us. And just like a campfire, we can stoke the flame of the Spirit, or squelch it. That’s why Paul includes such specific and clear instructions in Ephesians 4 for how to walk worthy of our calling. He says: “And don’t grieve God’s Holy Spirit. You were sealed by him for the day of redemption.” (Ephesians 4:30, CSB) Paul makes a similar statement in another one of his letters: “Do not quench the Spirit.” (1 Thessalonians 5:19, NIV)

These statements astound me– as frail humans, we have the capacity to sadden or squelch God’s Holy Spirit dwelling inside of us. When we walk aligned with the world, the flesh, and the devil instead of in a manner worthy of our calling, we make Him sorrowful, distressed, and heavy-hearted. Author and pastor Megan Fate Marshman explains “Grief is the recognition that something is not as it should be.” It is an “appropriate response to things being out of alignment with God’s plan.”1

Ephesians is a book about unity—first between God and humans, then between Jews and Gentiles—all made possible through Christ’s sacrifice. So, we grieve the Spirit when we choose to break that unity with God and others by sinning. This is why Paul lays out many specific instructions for walking worthy of our calling. 

So, how do we do we avoid grieving or quenching the Spirit? “Let all bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander be removed from you, along with all malice. And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.” (Ephesians 4:31-32, CSB)

Honoring or grieving the Lord has everything to do with how we live—our mindsets, the choices we make, and the way we treat others. That’s why Paul covers so many topics in Ephesians 4 including our sexual practices, our choice to be truthful and trustworthy, and how we speak to one another. The passage above shows that bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, slander, and contempt have no place in the lives of authentic followers of Jesus. Instead, we’re called to be kind, tender hearted, and forgiving.  We’re urged to reject evil and embrace good. 

While I could list many examples and scenarios to illustrate these principles, I think your time would be more wisely spent inviting the Lord to search your heart to make this personal. Consider re-reading Ephesians 4 slowly and asking Him to show you if there are ways you’re grieving or quenching His Spirit. Give God permission to reveal any attitudes or perspectives you’ve adopted from the world that dishonor Him. Let Him shine a light on your behavior toward others that grieves His heart. 

As the Lord brings specific sins to mind, confess them to Him and cancel permission for the enemy to use them as an access point in your life any longer. Command any darkness or evil to leave and invite the Holy Spirit to come and expand His presence in your life.2

 There’s no way to succeed in walking worthy of Christ by trying harder on our own; we were never meant to do that. Thankfully, with the Holy Spirit dwelling in our hearts through faith, we have unlimited access to all the help we need. 

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  • 1. Megan Fate Marshman, Relaxed: Walking with the One Who Is Not Worried about a Thing, Zondervan, 2024.
  • 2. Inspired by Tim Hughes’ sermon, “Are You Hungry?” Park Hill Church Podcast, August 6, 2023. Available on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

Inspired by Ephesians: A Study of Faith and Practice by Jackie Hill Perry, Jasmine Holmes and Melissa Kruger, Lifeway Press, 2024

Balance and Blind Spots

Have you ever driven a car with unbalanced wheels? If so, you’ve probably experienced a vibrating, bumpy ride. Ignoring the warning signs means wearing your tires unevenly and having to buy new ones sooner than you’d like. Or, have you ever driven a car with a huge blind spot? You glance over your shoulder before changing lanes but still miss the car coming up beside you until you nearly collide with it. While balance issues and blind spots are problematic out on the road, they also have detrimental effects in our personal lives—especially when it comes to serving others.

Discovering and using our spiritual gifts feels energizing and inspiring. Doing the good things God has “prepared in advance for us to do” (Ephesians 2:10) brings deep joy and fulfillment. What can be challenging, though, is learning to balance that satisfying sense of purpose with other responsibilities in our lives that require our ongoing attention. Sometimes we’re passionate about opportunities to use our time and gifts, but we must also be discerning about maintaining healthy margin. I’ve learned this (sometimes the hard way) through situations with my immediate and extended family over the past decade.

Seeking the Spirit’s discernment for setting priorities and managing time commitments has become a regular practice for me. I don’t want my household to dread every time I agree to teach, lead, mentor, or serve. So, maintaining a healthy balance between ministering to others, caring for myself, and spending time with my family keeps me from getting burnt out and them from getting bitter.

Our time and energy are finite, so with every “yes” we are inadvertently saying “no” to something else. It’s taken a while to realize the value of having margin and not cramming my schedule completely full. If I give all of my effort, energy, and attention to serving others, I don’t have much left for my family or other personal relationships. We live in a world that leads us to believe we can operate at full capacity 24/7– that we can “have it all” and “do it all” with no fallout or negative consequences. In reality though, we are not limitless. Relationships suffer when we go on autopilot and stop nurturing them.

God gave me perspective on this when I took on a significant leadership role at church just as my mom’s declining health forced her to stop driving. Although others also stepped in to help, I became responsible for accompanying her on most appointments. Some days it felt like I knew my mom’s doctors, medications, and health issues more intimately than my own. I took care of her needs efficiently, but often felt distracted and anxious to move on to the next responsibility in my day.  My mom was keenly aware of how busy life was for me. Time spent with her revolved around accomplishing tasks. Adding time to do enjoyable things together was a luxury I didn’t feel I could afford.

During that season, the Lord revealed a huge blind spot in my attitude. I realized that rushing through time spent with my mom was both hypocritical and unloving. Through the gentle but firm conviction of the Holy Spirit, I stopped treating her like a task to check off on my to-do list. Inspired by Colossians 1:11, I started praying before I’d pick her up, asking for endurance and patience. I wanted God to help me serve her with a spirit of love instead of obligation. When she felt self-conscious about taking time from my other “important” responsibilities, I began reassuring her that she wasn’t an inconvenience or an interruption from “real” ministry. Not only did this improve our relationship, it brought both of us more joy and peace.

If we serve people at church or out in the world, but find the needs of our own families irritating, there’s a blind spot that needs to be addressed. Using all of our energy to pour into others means giving our families a depleted, exhausted version of ourselves. And overlooking them also means we’re missing out on some beautiful ways God can use us and forge meaningful family relationships. First Corinthians 13 describes what love looks like: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV) Is there something in this description that convicts you? Will you commit to asking the Lord to help you with it? Let’s strive to show this kind of love to people we serve in ministry, as well as our families and those we encounter out in the world.

If you’re like me and struggle with wanting to say “yes” to all the things, consider where you might be out of balance. Before agreeing to the next exciting ministry endeavor, pause to pray for God’s clear leading. Ask your family and/or wise friends if they think it’s the right fit and timing; humbly allow them to identify any blind spots you may be missing. Consider your season of life and the other responsibilities you already have. Taking time to evaluate before diving in allows you to say “yes” or “no” with confidence. Serving with balance and without blind spots brings joy to you and blessing to everyone else in your life.

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Want to learn more about healthy balance? Check out Lisa Terkeurst’s book: The Best Yes.

When Interruptions Become Opportunities

Before the time of streaming entertainment on demand, I remember watching good old-fashioned network TV as a child. My family would crowd onto the couch together on specific nights to enjoy a few shows. Once in a while the broadcast would cut to a somber news anchor announcing: “We interrupt this broadcast to bring you a special report.” The information often detailed a major event like a natural disaster, an emergency situation, or the death of someone important. After delivering the news, the anchor would say, “And now, back to your regularly scheduled programming.” 

As I’ve thought about serving in various ministries over the past few years, I’ve been pondering times when there have been interruptions to my “regularly scheduled programming.” I’m not proud to admit it, but for a long time, I viewed these interruptions as irritants that were getting in the way of “real” ministry. They felt like distractions hindering me from accomplishing the tasks needed to put on programs. 

At some point, the Lord helped me to recognize that those interruptions were actually part of His plan. They were opportunities to walk alongside others and help them grow as followers of Jesus. At the same time, they provided experiences that softened some of my sharp edges and helped me to have more compassion and empathy. I started to see that prioritizing people over programs actually led to healthier relationships and meaningful spiritual growth. Interruptions were opportunities to mentor people and care for them. They were chances to guide them toward wisdom found in God’s Word and to recognize its relevance in their situations. Instead of rushing past interruptions, I began realizing the value of pausing to engage them. Here are a few ways God has used them with me:

-Circling Back: Sometimes in a meeting or small group issues arise that need one-on-one attention. When I’ve sensed that someone seems to be struggling, I’ve tried to follow up and connect outside our group or team meetings. Sometimes people just need to feel seen and heard. At other times they need encouragement, affirmation, or clarification. Heeding the Holy Spirit’s prompting and making time to check in with someone separately opens the door for God to work in and through us.

-Discipling through Conflict: Anytime we work or serve with people, conflicts arise at some point. Pretending they don’t exist usually just creates awkward interactions that lack authenticity. Addressing conflict through healthy communication opens opportunities for everyone to unpack misunderstandings and identify false assumptions. Perhaps someone needs to learn an applicable truth in Scripture. Maybe there’s an opportunity for spiritual refining or character development. Perhaps there’s a chance for someone to be convicted by sin or to recognize a blind spot. If we lean into awkward situations and seek better understanding, we’re creating opportunities to help ourselves and others mature spiritually and personally.

-Giving Permission to Pause: There are times when someone’s personal struggles may interrupt ministry programming. When a key member of a team I led lost her husband, we rallied around her to provide support. We were in the throes of launching into a new year and she didn’t want to leave us hanging, but we knew the best way to love her was to give her time away from serving. When personal hardship strikes a team member, the first priority needs to be showing love and compassion before worrying about how program logistics will be impacted. The interruption provides a beautiful opportunity to love someone when they’re hurting by giving them the time they need to heal.

There’s a story in Matthew’s gospel when an interruption leads to a powerful moment of ministry. Jesus travels by boat with His disciples to a solitary place. They are grieving the death of John the Baptist and seeking respite. However, “When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick.” Concerned about practical matters, the disciples approach Jesus as evening draws near and say, “This is a remote place, and it’s already getting late. Send the crowds away, so they can go to the villages and buy themselves some food.” Instead of agreeing with their suggestion, Jesus replies, “They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat.” (Matt 14:14,15b,16, NIV)

Maybe you remember what happens next: Jesus takes five small loaves of bread and two fish, gives thanks to God and then feeds five thousand men, plus women and children. Not only does everyone eat their fill, but the disciples collect twelve baskets filled with leftovers.

Consider how differently Jesus and His disciples view interruptions. He seems to be the master of pivoting and adapting to new situations. Rather than being annoyed by the crowds greeting His boat, Jesus has compassion on them. Instead of dismissing them and sticking with His original plan, He ministers to them. When the disciples urge Him to send people away to find food, Jesus uses it as an opportunity to grow their trust in Him as the ultimate Provider. The interruptions become moments of ministry and revelation.

When we slow down and engage them, interruptions can become significant catalysts for ministering to others. What’s your usual response when they occur in your “regularly scheduled program”? Whether it’s in ministry, at home, at work, or somewhere else, there’s always an opportunity to grow in how you handle them. If you’re prone to anger, annoyance, impatience, or irritability when interruptions occur, consider praying and inviting the Lord to show how you can honor Him more in your response. You’ll discover joy on the journey and will bless others in the process.

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Search Me, O God

Barefoot and sun-kissed, we crowded onto the couches and floors in the houseboat’s tiny front room. Sitting on faded linoleum as someone strummed a guitar, I joined the heartfelt voices of my fellow camp counselors worshiping the Lord. A growing understanding of God’s holiness had transformed the way I praised Him during those pure and powerful worship sessions.

I had arrived at Houseboats a few weeks earlier and was glad to be serving at a Christian camp instead of joining my friends for graduation festivities in Mexico. I’d been stretched and humbled but had also experienced deep joy in ways I hadn’t anticipated. Praising God for His transcendent attributes and meditating on His character gave me a clearer perspective of His worthiness and my weakness. Awestruck by His perfection and holiness, a surprising awareness of my own sinfulness also came to light. I knew I needed to confess it and come clean before Him. Like David in Psalm 139:19-22, I was beginning to recoil from sin as I understood how much the Lord hates it. 

My experience was personal, but not unique. Through the prompting and conviction of the Holy Spirit, many believers pray as David did: “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns. See if there is any offensive way in me; lead me in the everlasting way.” (Psalm 139, 23-24, CSB) 

After accepting Christ, we are cleansed by His blood and receive eternal salvation, but we still struggle with sin. So, we need to examine our hearts and actions consistently and confess where we’ve fallen short of His standards. The prophet Isaiah explains how sin hinders our communication with God: “Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear. But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear.” (Isaiah 59:1-2, NIV) 

David expresses an understanding of this in Psalm 51: “Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity. Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.” (Psalm 51:9-12, NIV)

Responding to the Lord’s loving forgiveness, we then repent and allow Him to transform our thoughts, attitudes, and actions once again. We turn back towards God and away from whatever dishonors Him; repentance is about surrender—welcoming the conviction of the Holy Spirit and seeking God’s help to do things differently.

With that in mind, let’s consider several reasons we’d be wise to let the Lord search our hearts and shine light on unconfessed sin. 

Unconfessed sin is a burden that weighs us down:  In another psalm, David says, “When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy on me, my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord.’ And you forgave the guilt of my sin.” (Psalm 32:3-7, NIV)

Guilt warns us we’ve done something wrong, but when feeling guilty becomes a a permanent state of mind, that’s condemnation–which isn’t from God. Jesus was condemned to die on the cross to pay for our guilt! Instead, the Holy Spirit convicts us of sin so that we can confess it and be restored to close connection with the Lord. Here are a few differences between guilt that leads to condemnation and holy conviction that leads to restoration:

CondemnationConviction
Comes from the enemyComes from the Holy Spirit
Points us back to ourselvesPoints us back to God
Causes shame, regret & self-loathingCauses humility, repentance & change
Causes us to dwell on failuresCauses remorse for sin
Leads us to feel helpless & hopelessLeads us to spiritual maturity

Unconfessed sin hinders us from growing spiritually: “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith.” (Hebrews 12:1-2, NIV, italics added) It’s a struggle to move forward in our faith and accomplish God’s will and plans when we’re entangled by sin. It holds us back from experiencing deep, intimate fellowship with God. It also dulls our spiritual senses, weakens our ability to persevere, and takes our eyes off Jesus.

Unconfessed sin limits opportunities to be used by God and steals our joy: David offered these wise words for his son, Solomon, shortly before his death: “I am about to go the way of all the earth…So be strong, act like a man, and observe what the Lord your God requiresWalk in obedience to him, and keep his decrees and commands, his laws and regulations, as written in the Law of Moses. Do this so that you may prosper in all you do and wherever you go.’“ (1 Kings 2:1-3, NIV italics added)

Jesus also emphasizes how obedience enables closeness to God when He says, “If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.” (John 15:10-11, NIV, italics added)

Paul elaborates further: “You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness… Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.” (Ephesians 4:22-24 5:15-17, NIV, italics added)

Although confession and repentance may feel difficult, or even scary at times, Scripture explains the benefits: “Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.” (Acts 3:19, NIV, italics added) 

Consider inviting God to search your heart today. Let adoration of Him lead you to confess sins that are keeping you from becoming the person He’s made you to be. Experience refreshment and joy by removing any barriers to connection with Him

Was this forwarded to you? You can receive new posts automatically in your inbox by going to www.marybethmccullum.com, entering your e-mail address and clicking “subscribe.”

Inspired by When You PrayA Study of Six Prayers in the Bible, Session 4, Kelly Minter, Jackie Hill Perry, Jen Wilkin, Jennifer Rothschild, Jada Edwards, Kristi McClelland, Lifeway Press, 2023.