Not long ago I found myself consumed with negative thoughts after a series of text messages. Hurt feelings led me to make some cynical assumptions and harsh judgements. I’d let my joy be stolen by making unhealthy and unfair comparisons. Within a few hours, the negativity felt like a weighty anchor pulling me underwater in a sea of self-pity. After floundering there for a while, I realized I needed a friend to throw me a lifeline.
Pulling out my phone, I dashed off a quick text asking for prayer. My friend was quick to respond and even offered to meet me in person to process my feelings more. At first, I was hesitant, knowing that an in-person encounter meant I’d have to delve deeper than the few lines I’d spewed out on my phone. It didn’t take long to realize that I needed to stop isolating and get the tangle of thoughts out of my head. I needed an outsider perspective to understand why I’d spiraled to such a negative place.
Sitting in my friend’s backyard later that day, I realized the root issue wasn’t that I’d been wronged, but that I’d fallen into some sinful thought patterns. Humbled, I realized my hurt feelings were based on envy and resentment. I’d wanted to complain and have her make me feel better, instead I saw that my reaction to the texts was sinful and my thinking was faulty. What I needed to do was confess, repent, and move on from my wallowing. Connecting with my friend and processing my thoughts aloud enabled me to stop the downward spiral.
Ironically, this situation unfolded the same week I was studying the fourth enemy of our minds. In case you missed my last three posts, I’ve been working through Jennie Allen’s Get Out of Your Head: A Study in Philippians. The book identifies the primary enemies of our minds and the weapons God gives us to fight them. It’s been powerful using these tools to stop my downward spirals and toxic thoughts. So far, we’ve covered three of the six enemies of our minds: self-importance, noise, and cynicism. We learned how to fight them with humility, silence, and delight. (Check out my last three posts if you haven’t read them yet.) The fourth enemy of our minds is isolation and the weapon we need to fight it is connection.
Jennie Allen explains, “We find ourselves in a generation that has made an idol out of the very thing God is calling us away from: independence. But often when we back away from others, it’s because we’re listening to lies about our worth…We weren’t meant to be alone in the dark. Being known turns on the light. And that scares the devil. He doesn’t want us in the light because when we stay in the dark with him, he can tell us whatever he wants. No more. Use the weapon of connection, and fight with light.”
The apostle Paul models the importance of connection throughout the book of Philippians. During a two-year house arrest in Rome, he wrote this letter to the beloved people of the church he’d founded on his second missionary journey recorded in Acts 16. Let’s see what inspiration we can draw from his examples:
Connection Through Prayer: “I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now.” (Phil 1:3-5) Paul’s ongoing prayers for the believers in Philippi kept his heart connected to theirs. In the same way, when we pray with and for others it keeps us tied to them and gives us tender feelings for them.
Connection Through Shared Goals: “And because of my chains, most of the brothers and sisters have become confident in the Lord and dare all the more to proclaim the gospel without fear.” (Phil 1:14) Paul’s imprisonment motivated fellow believers to continue the work he’d started. Their mutual passion to share the good news of Jesus created a deep bond between them. In the same way, we connect with others through having mutual motivations and goals rooted in Jesus.
Connection Through Caring for Others: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” (Phil 2:3-4) Looking beyond ourselves to care for the needs of others creates powerful connection points and authentic relationships.
Connection Through Serving with Others: “For everyone looks out for their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ. But you know that Timothy has proved himself, because as a son with his father he has served with me in the work of the gospel.” (Phil 2:21-22) Timothy and Paul labored for the sake of the gospel together. Doing this bonded them like a father and son. Serving with others is a powerful way to make meaningful and lasting connections.
Connection Through Allowing Others to Serve You: “But I think it is necessary to send back to you Epaphroditus, my brother, co-worker and fellow soldier, who is also your messenger, whom you sent to take care of my needs.” (Phil 2:25) The Philippians sent Epaphroditus to care for Paul while he was imprisoned. Paul’s willingness to allow Epaphroditus to do this created a lasting bond between them. It also strengthened Paul’s connection to the believers who had sent Epaphroditus to help him in his time of need.
Connection Through Shared Struggles: “I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death.” (Phil 3:10) Paul wanted to experience suffering to identify with Jesus. When we journey through suffering with others and the Lord, it connects us to them in deep, lasting ways.
Connection Through Shared Hope: “But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.” (Phil 3:20-21) Sharing the same hope for the future connects us to other believers and enables us to encourage one another, especially in difficult times.
Connection Through Tangible Support: “Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles. Moreover, as you Philippians know, in the early days of your acquaintance with the gospel, when I set out from Macedonia, not one church shared with me in the matter of giving and receiving, except you only; for even when I was in Thessalonica, you sent me aid more than once when I was in need.” (Phil 4:14-16) Meeting the tangible needs of others connects us to God’s greater purposes and helps us to participate in building His kingdom on earth. When we support missions and ministries beyond our community, it helps us to connect with His people throughout the world.
Connecting to others is a powerful weapon to stop the downward spiral caused by isolation. What’s one area mentioned above you’ll pray and ask God to expand in your life in the months ahead?
The first time I heard OneRepublic’s song “Connection” the lyrics struck me as being the anthem for our culture today. It paints a picture of how many people in our world are hungry for meaningful connection. If you enjoy fellowship with Jesus, let Him use you to share it with others.
Jennie Allen, Get Out of Your Head: A Study in Philippians, Thomas Nelson Press, 2020, pages 86 & 87.
All Scripture quoted from the New International Version.
Such a good message and reminders! Thank you for sharing all this!