Ephesians 4:1 ESV
Summer kicked off with some challenging situations for me. Instead of feeling relaxed and carefree, I’ve struggled with angst and confusion over how to handle several relational difficulties. It seems that I’ve had a steady drip of interactions that require prayer for clear wisdom and guidance from the Holy Spirit.
My prayers often include two requests of the Lord: “Show me what You want me to know and show me what You want me to do.” Ephesians often gives me answers to both questions. As I’ve been studying it, I keep coming back to chapter four. It includes so much practical wisdom for how God calls us to live. I keep thinking of phrases Paul wrote to the believers in Ephesus each time I tiptoe into a conversation that feels like an emotional minefield. Since all of us go through challenges in relationships, it seems like unpacking some portions of Ephesians 4 that have spoken to me might be worth sharing.
Here’s some quick context on Ephesians before we dive into the middle of this weighty book: The first three chapters include some important theology–evidence of God’s nature and character. These chapters also include doctrine—the beliefs that are foundational to our faith:
- Paul emphasizes the inclusion of Gentiles into God’s family through accepting Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross: “In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace.” (Ephesians 1:7, NIV)
- Paul also highlights that we cannot earn our way into God’s family through good behavior: “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9, NIV)
- Additionally, Paul explains how all followers of Jesus are part of a unified body meant to work together for God’s purposes: “This mystery is that through the gospel the Gentiles are heirs together with Israel, members together of one body, and sharers together in the promise in Christ Jesus.” (Ephesians 3:6, NIV)
In chapter 4, the topic shifts from explaining doctrine about God and our standing with Him to describing what it looks like to practice our faith in daily living. Paul starts by saying: “Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. For there is one body and one Spirit, just as you have been called to one glorious hope for the future.” (Ephesians 4:1-4, NLT)
Let’s break down Paul’s wisdom here and explore how we can apply it.
Lead a Life Worthy of Your Calling: With lives rooted in Christ, we’re meant to bear fruit that reveals the presence of the Holy Spirit. We don’t react in the flesh and let our emotions get the best of us. Instead, we let God’s Word guide us to wise responses that honor Him. When we’re tempted to think another person is the problem, we stop first and examine ourselves. We seek to respond in a way that’s worthy of our calling in Christ so we can reveal His presence in our lives.
Always be Humble and Gentle: Being humble means setting aside pride and not viewing ourselves as superior to others. As followers of Christ, we never forget we are sinners saved only by grace. Because we’ve received God’s forgiveness, we’re aware of our pitiful state without Him. Remembering this keeps us from becoming superior and condescending. Humility causes us to be gentle—mild, moderate, and kind rather than harsh or severe in our demeanor and actions. Humility and gentleness stand in opposition to the brash and strident ways the world calls us to react.
Be Patient, Making Allowance for Faults Because of Your Love: As followers of Jesus, we’re called to remain calm and understanding when faced with frustrating behavior in others. Instead of focusing on their faults, we stop and remember how much God loves us despite our shortcomings. This makes us more apt to be patient. Additionally, choosing to love them prevents us from rooting ourselves in stubbornness or the desire to magnify their faults. Patience allows us to remain calm and loving instead of short-tempered and harsh.
Keep United in the Spirit, Bound Together with Peace: Through the bond of the Holy Spirit, believers seek to stay united with one another. Because we have peace with God and ourselves through Christ, we’re more equipped to seek peace with one another. This reflects Jesus’ heart for us: “I am praying not only for these disciples but also for all who will ever believe in me through their message. I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one—as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me.” (John 17:20-21, NLT) God’s intention is for the unity of Christ-followers to prompt others to believe in Jesus. Believers who strive for peace and unity with one another reveal Christ to a cynical world.
Any time people interact, there’s the possibility that miscommunication, hurt feelings, or offenses will occur. Without the wisdom of the Holy Spirit we’re prone to place blame on the choices of others. In the midst of frustration and hurt, we default to feeling superior and prideful. Our flesh tells us we’re justified in having harsh thoughts or lashing out in anger. While it’s easy to focus on faults of others, this certainly doesn’t increase our love for them, bring peace to the relationship, or point them toward Jesus.
When we walk worthy of Christ, we reveal an understanding of God’s deep love for us. This humility opens us to being gentle and patient with others, providing mutual blessing and giving glory to the Lord. Let Andrew Ripp’s “For the Love of God” remind you of this important truth today. Click here to listen.
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