Tag: John 4

Naming Shame

She’d been divorced by five different men and left alone and vulnerable in a patriarchal culture. The man she was with at the moment made no promises of lasting commitment. People likely speculated about why she couldn’t keep a husband, if they didn’t already know the reason. Ashamed, she avoided joining the other women drawing water from the well in the cool of the morning or the waning heat of the evening. Instead, she trudged there at noon, lugging her water jar alone with the sun beating down on her back and sweat beading on her brow. Looking up one day, she squinted and rubbed her eyes as the outline of a man seated at the well came into view. 

In the moments that followed, this Samaritan woman who’d lived under a cloud of shame met a man who changed everything. “He told her, ‘Go, call your husband and come back.’ ‘I have no husband,’ she replied. Jesus said to her, ‘You are right when you say you have no husband. The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true… The woman said, ‘I know that Messiah’ (called Christ) ‘is coming. When he comes, he will explain everything to us.’ Then Jesus declared, ‘I, the one speaking to you—I am he.’” (John 4:17-18, 25-26, NIV)

Jesus saw the woman’s shame, named it, and then revealed Himself as the long-awaited Savior of the world. “He reached all the way into her story, saw into her soul, and likely named the hardest and most shameful thing she had ever lived through. He entered into her world with compassion and empathy.”1 Kristi McClellan then turns this story to make it personal. She says “Jesus seeks to enter into your world with compassion and empathy too. Ordinary days become extraordinary when you let Jesus in to generously lift you up.”2

Shame. It’s not a topic we like to discuss. Author, psychologist, and speaker Dr. Curt Thompson sheds light on why we avoid admitting we feel it. He explains that shame becomes part of our identity, instead of thinking we’ve done something bad or wrong, we think, “I am bad and wrong.” Thompson says that shame causes people to turn away from God and others. It cuts us off internally and externally. Shame goads us to cower in the dark, berating ourselves instead of seeking healing and hope through connecting with God and others.

 Isn’t that what we see with the woman at the well as Jesus engages her in conversation? She moves from being alone and isolated to being seen and loved. In response, she shares her amazement with the community that shunned her: “Then, leaving her water jar, the woman went back to the town and said to the people, ‘Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did. Could this be the Messiah?’  They came out of the town and made their way toward him.” (John 4:28-30, NIV)

Once Jesus brings her shame to light, He frees her from it. And He can do the same for us. Using Scripture as our guide, Dr. Curt Thompson explains how we can name our shame and break free of its hold on us.3 Using his insights, let’s look at Hebrews 12:1 & 2 to understand the process: “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.”

-A Cloud of Witnesses: Shame makes us believe we have to fix ourselves before we can let God or others know us. But Jesus accepts us right where we are and then moves us out of our shame, just as He did with the woman at the well. We need others to tell us what’s true about who we are. Who are the people bearing witness to your life and speaking truth to you? 

-Throwing Off Sin that Entangles: The enemy tries to trip us up and undermine our attempts to make wise and God-honoring choices. He uses our sins and the sins of others as tools to shame us. Recognizing this is the first step toward breaking their hold on you. Are sin and shame currently entangling you? Will you ask Jesus to help you cast them aside so you can walk freely with Him? 

-Run with Perseverance: Being vulnerable and honest isn’t easy. If it’s a struggle for you, start by practicing it in small moments. Be honest with yourself about the shame you feel and what’s causing it. Then seek a safe person with whom you can share it–whether it’s a wise friend or a trained counselor. Being vulnerable might feel awkward and uncomfortable, but with practice, you’ll begin to enjoy the freedom of being honest with yourself, others, and God. Who can you invite to help you persevere?

-Fixing Our Eyes on Jesus: As we look to Jesus, we’ll discover He’s been looking at us and waiting patiently for us to notice. Once we’re released from the weight of shame, we’re postured to receive His gentle healing. Then we can look outward to encourage others who also need to hear His message of hope, love, and truth. This is what He did with the woman at the well. And He’s willing to do it for you too, whenever you’re ready.

Being vulnerable and open doesn’t come naturally to me, so I empathize if these ideas scare you. I still remember the first time I admitted my shame to someone aloud. It was on the roof of a houseboat at a summer camp I worked at after high school graduation. I’d applied to serve there for the fun of being in Christian community, meeting new friends, and having easy access to waterskiing. What I hadn’t anticipated was being convicted that the double life I’d been leading was preventing my spiritual growth. The other leaders there had a passion for Jesus that I lacked. Feeling like a fraud, I admitted my struggles with sin and acknowledged my shame to a fellow staff member. Rather than chastising or condemning me, my new friend received what I shared with compassion and kindness. Jesus used him to speak truth and love to me in a way I’d never experienced. He was the first witness who helped me to see that vulnerably naming my shame was the beginning of being transformed by God and finding true freedom in Christ. (In fact, the bond between us grew so strong that we got married a few years later.)

Will you risk being vulnerable and naming your shame so you can throw off the entanglement of sin and fix your eyes on Jesus? If this feels terrifying, pray and ask the Lord to bring you a safe person who can listen and love you well. This is a heavy topic you may need to explore further with additional resources listed below. Don’t let shame isolate you any longer. 

Let Olivia Lane’s song “Woman at the Well” inspire you and give you courage today. Click here to listen.

  • 1. Kristi McClelland, Jesus and Women in the First Century and Now, Lifeway Press, 2019, 62.
  • 2. ibid
  • 3. Dr. Curt Thompson, IF:Lead 2019 breakout session notes. For more resources on shame from Dr. Thompson, click here.

Was this forwarded to you? Click here to submit your e-mail and subscribe. You’ll receive future posts automatically in your inbox.

The Harvest is Plentiful

“God wants us to live with…watchfulness, to look for the lost people around us.” (20/20, p. 65 ) I love the idea of becoming more attuned to people I encounter. Praying for the ability to see below the surface so I can point them toward God inspires me. But before any of us can truly see others the way Jesus does, we need to start by recognizing our own brokenness. This begins by inviting the Lord into our struggles and letting Him expose and cleanse our sins. Doing this develops humility and compassion for others. Rather than judging or condemning, we’re able to share the forgiveness, healing, hope, and love found in Christ.

John 4 includes the story of a woman Jesus met that illustrates this process:

“Now [Jesus] had to go through Samaria. So he came to a town in Samaria called Sychar, near the plot of ground Jacob had given to his son Joseph. Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well. It was about noon. When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, ‘Will you give me a drink?’

The Samaritan woman said to him, ‘You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?’ (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.)

Jesus answered her, ‘If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water…everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.‘

The woman said to him, ‘Sir, give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.‘

He told her, ‘Go, call your husband and come back.‘

I have no husband,’ she replied.

Jesus said to her, ‘You are right when you say you have no husband. The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.’ 

The woman said, ‘I know that Messiah (called Christ) is coming. When he comes, he will explain everything to us.‘

Then Jesus declared, ‘I, the one speaking to you—I am he.’” 

Let’s stop here to notice that Jesus didn’t hold back with the woman. He knew her sins but rather than condemning her, He identified Himself as the Messiah and offered her new life and lasting fulfillment through Him. And based on her response, it seems she felt drawn to the truth and love He offered:

“Then, leaving her water jar, the woman went back to the town and said to the people, ‘Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did. Could this be the Messiah?’ They came out of the town and made their way toward him…They said to the woman, ‘We no longer believe just because of what you said; now we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this man really is the Savior of the world.’” 

Take note of the woman’s reaction. The conversation she had with Jesus compelled her to share the good news with others. She’d known Him only a few minutes but was eager to introduce Him to the people of her town. She didn’t convince them to listen with her articulate arguments or deep spiritual knowledge but simply by telling her story and inviting them to meet Jesus for themselves.

Sometimes I wonder if we’ve made sharing the gospel more complicated than it needs to be. Unlike this woman, we feel we must have certain verses memorized or explanations and rebuttals ready, as if we were headed into a high school debate tournament. Or, we worry so much about offending people or being rejected that we don’t even open our mouths to share how Jesus has given us true life and fulfillment.

Let’s look at the story in John 4 one more time to see how Jesus challenged His disciples regarding the woman. They had only seen her as a Samaritan sinner, but He recognized her as a genuine seeker of truth:

“I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest. Even now the one who reaps draws a wage and harvests a crop for eternal life, so that the sower and the reaper may be glad together.”

In Mark’s gospel, Jesus expands further on this idea: “When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, ‘The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.’” (Mark 9:36-38, NIV)

Today the harvest is ripe, just as it was when Jesus spoke these words. People are lonely, hurting, and struggling–harassed and helpless with no clear sense of direction. They are longing to hear truth and to find hope. And, like the woman at the well, our honesty can open doors to share Jesus. When we’re authentic and admit our struggles, fears, and failures, we also get to share how Jesus meets us in our brokenness. We can give others a chance to find the same hope and firm foundation that carry us through even the darkest times.

Will you pray and ask God to lead you to people who are ready to hear your story and learn about the ultimate hope Jesus offers? Let Matthew West’s song “Truth Be Told” inspire you to be authentic so you can point them to Jesus.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XsZi9QT6a8

Christine Caine, 20/20: Seen. Chosen. Sent. Lifeway Press, 2019.

*Note: Selected verses were included from John 4, this is not the passage in its entirety.

The Dignity and Worth of Women

A female servant conceives a child with her master at the urging of his barren wife. A father offers up his virgin daughters to be used and abused by a lustful crowd of men. Later, the same daughters commit incest with their father in an act of desperation, hoping to secure their value by producing offspring. To preserve his life, a husband remains passive as a foreign king absorbs his wife into the royal harem. These stories of Abraham, Sarah, Hagar, Lot and his daughters in Genesis 16-20 sound like the makings for a sordid soap opera. They are ugly, disturbing, and just plain icky. Taken out of context, they could easily lead us to believe Scripture debases and devalues women. But upon closer examination, we find they show cultural attitudes towards the roles, value, and identity of women in that era of history. They aren’t examples of how God views women, but about how the culture at the time did. 

To understand the Lord’s heart toward women more clearly, let’s turn to the New Testament. In the pages of the four gospels we find Jesus giving women dignity and worth that exceeded the cultural norms of His time. Here are a few of my favorites that show this clearly.

The Samaritan Woman at the Well: “Now [Jesus] had to go through Samaria.  So he came to a town in Samaria called Sychar, near the plot of ground Jacob had given to his son Joseph. Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well. It was about noon. When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, ‘Will you give me a drink?’  (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.) The Samaritan woman said to him, ‘You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?’ (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.) (John 4:5-9, NIV)

This exchange may not seem significant to us, but for a Jewish man like Jesus, speaking to a Samaritan woman would have gone against several societal norms. First, Jewish men did not speak to or associate with Gentile women. Second, Jews considered Samaritans to be detestable and unworthy. Many Jews wouldn’t even set foot in Samaria, opting to take a much longer route to get to Jerusalem to avoid traveling through this region filled with “unclean” people. The woman at the well knew this, which is why she was shocked by Jesus’ request.

As the conversation progresses, they discuss her checkered personal life. The woman realizes Jesus is not just an ordinary man and she says, “I know that Messiah” (called Christ) “is coming. When he comes, he will explain everything to us.” Jesus replies: “I, the one speaking to you—I am he.” (John 4:25 & 26, NIV).

This is one of the first instances in Scripture when Jesus acknowledges that He is the long- awaited Messiah. And He chooses to share this important information with a woman of questionable morals from the wrong side of the tracks. Not the typical way women would have been treated at the time.

The “Unclean” Woman: “A large crowd followed and pressed around him. And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, because she thought, ‘If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.’  Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering. At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, ‘Who touched my clothes?’…Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. He said to her, ‘Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.’ (Mark 5:24-34, NIV)

Jesus responded with compassion to this woman that was considered ceremonially unclean by the Jews because of her bleeding. She would have been banned from most social contact and anyone she touched would’ve been “unclean” as well. While others probably recoiled from her, Jesus sought her out and affirmed her faith in Him with love and gentleness.

The Woman Who Anointed Jesus: “While Jesus was in Bethany in the home of Simon the Leper, a woman came to him with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, which she poured on his head as he was reclining at the table. When the disciples saw this, they were indignant. ‘Why this waste?’ they asked. ‘This perfume could have been sold at a high price and the money given to the poor.’ Aware of this, Jesus said to them, ‘Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing to me. The poor you will always have with you, but you will not always have me. When she poured this perfume on my body, she did it to prepare me for burial. Truly I tell you, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.’” Matthew 26:6-13, NIV)

Here we see Jesus defend and affirm a woman’s act of worship. He silences her male critics as they attempt to demonstrate moral superiority. Affirming her generous actions, He says she will be remembered any time the gospel is preached.

The Woman Caught in Adultery: “At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, ‘Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?’  They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, ‘Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.’ Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, ‘Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?’

‘No one, sir,’ she said.

‘Then neither do I condemn you,’ Jesus declared. ‘Go now and leave your life of sin.’” (John 8:2-11, NIV)

Jesus defends the woman brilliantly and causes her accusers to recognize their hypocrisy. At the same time, He achieves the delicate balance of holding her accountable for her sin while offering her mercy, grace, and forgiveness. 

These are just a few of the many times Jesus shows that He values and esteems women. His actions defied the cultural norms of the time and were a precursor for Paul’s words in Galatians: “So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.  There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.” (Galatians 3:26-29, NIV)

God’s love and promises aren’t limited by the divisions we create between groups because of our sinful nature. In His eyes, all people have worth and dignity, regardless of cultural or societal norms.

Lauren Daigle’s song “How Can It Be” was inspired by Jesus’ interaction with the woman caught in adultery in John 8. Let the wonder of His grace fill you with hope and joy today.

Header image courtesy of rawpixel at www.pixabay.com.

Good Questions Get to Root Issues

I don’t encounter many atheists ready to engage in lively debates in my daily life, but Mary Jo Sharp’s lesson on asking good questions helped me to recognize how I can engage people differently. For me, the most common challenge I have is trying to overcome people’s preconceived notions about Christians.

 IMG_7644

 

Signs of spring are all around us. I love looking at the lush green hills and blooming trees and bulbs. One unfortunate side effect of all this new growth is the abundance of weeds that sprout up with everything else. Pulling weeds is not my favorite part of working in the yard, but I do like the results when I’m done. One thing I’ve learned is that to eliminate a weed it is necessary not just to pull out the green shoots above the dirt; I need to dig down until I get to the roots.

Asking people good questions in faith conversations is much the same. If we just deal with the surface issues they have, we may not understand the roots of their problems or questions about God. Just like with weeding the yard, it takes a bit more time and effort to uncover the roots, but it is worth the effort.

I don’t encounter many atheists ready to engage in lively debates in my daily life, but Mary Jo Sharp’s lesson on asking good questions helped me to recognize how I can engage people differently. For me, the most common challenge I have is trying to overcome people’s preconceived notions about Christians. I’ll look at a few of the most common root issues I’ve discovered below.

People Who Have Absorbed Our Culture’s Views:

I find many people who are hesitant to explore faith because they’re afraid they’ll have to change their political views or stances on “hot topics.” They’ve heard sound bites about Christians that have caused a negative impression. Most people are unaware of how much they’ve been influenced by popular culture and have subtly been swayed to reject what is moral, right, true and good. I see people being influenced by outspoken celebrities with strong opinions, talk show hosts, news media and even fictional characters in movies and on TV that evoke sympathy in viewers.

Some of my best conversations with people have been when I’ve asked them to tell me how they’ve adopted their views that differ from Christians on certain hard issues. I’ve encountered very few people who have reasoned through their stances. Most realize they’ve come from being influenced by commonly held views that are espoused all around them. I know women who are craving spiritual fulfillment but who won’t set foot in a church or Bible study because they assume the people there have views differing from theirs. Sometimes they are afraid that exploring the Christian faith will mean they have to adopt a specific “agenda.” They make assumptions about God without looking at His word. Many people embrace the buzzwords of popular culture without really understanding what they mean or if they are really good.

“Sometimes the kindest thing we can do for people is gently shake up their presuppositions and invite them to think.” (Sue Bolin, “Four Killer Questions”, quoted from Why Do You Believe That? p. 76)

A few good questions to ask (without getting emotional or defensive):

-What causes you to accept that viewpoint? What is its foundation?

-Are you willing to look at what God has to say about that issue in the Bible?

-Are you willing to explore who God is aside from that issue?

-Are you afraid you’ll be forced to change or become someone you don’t want to be if you explore your questions about faith?

-Do you understand that not all Christians have the same view on every issue?

People feel great relief when they learn that becoming a Christian does not mean they must automatically think and act a certain way. Our focus should be on helping people learn how to engage the Bible and discover truth rather than on telling them what to think about specific issues.   Our first priority should be helping people understand Jesus’ love for them rather than debating side issues.  We can trust the Holy Spirit to open their eyes in His perfect timing to help them recognize areas He’s calling them to change.

People With Negative Views of God

It’s helpful to ask people how they got their opinions about God, church, and the Bible. When we can learn the root issue that is impacting them, we can figure out what to address. Some people have skewed views of God based on their upbringing. For others, popular culture, TV shows, movies, books and music have given them certain impressions of God that are not biblical. For others, a negative experience has caused them to assign blame to God. Some people have had no exposure to faith and are afraid to engage in conversations about it because they feel embarrassed, awkward or intimidated.   It is foreign territory and a long way outside of their comfort zones. What all of these people need is gentleness, patience and encouragement.

A few good questions to ask:

-How do you think you came to that conclusion about God/the Bible/ Church?

-Are you willing to put aside your preconceived notions to explore faith in a different way?

-Have you have looked at what the Bible teaches about God? Are you willing to look at it with me?

-What do you know about Jesus? Can I share a little bit more about Him with you?

Jesus’ Example

Jesus’ encounter with a Samaritan woman at a well gives us a great example of engaging someone effectively in a faith conversation. In John 4, we find Him traveling through Samaria and stopping for a drink and a rest at a well. He asks a woman drawing water: “Will you give me a drink?” and the question begins a conversation that changes her life. Two things stand out to me that relate to our topic. First, Jesus knows the woman is not living a lifestyle that honors God, yet He doesn’t address this right away. First, He focuses on her deepest issue: “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.” (John 4:10, NIV) He doesn’t start by telling her to clean up her act; He starts by showing her what He has to offer. We can do the same thing when engaging people who have been strongly influenced by our culture.

Second, when the woman offers what she does know about religion, Jesus builds on what she says to give her a clearer understanding. She says, “I know that Messiah (called Christ) is coming.   When he comes, he will explain everything to us.”   Jesus responds, “I who speak to you am he.” (John 4:25-26, NIV) Similarly, we can use the limited knowledge a person shares as a jumping off place to helping them understand more in our faith conversations.

Once the woman realizes who Jesus is, she can’t keep it to herself. She runs back to town to tell others and to bring them back to hear His teaching. It’s an inspiring example of what can happen when we engage in faith conversations. We don’t have to tell people what to think or how to change. We just expose them to God, ask them good questions, pray for them and let Him work in their hearts.

Click on the link to hear “What I Know” by Tricia Brock (a song from the soundtrack of last year’s movie about apologetics called “God’s Not Dead”)

https://www.youtube.com/wat?v=8YRko54M3_A

Sharp, Mary Jo; Why Do You Believe That?  A Faith Conversation;  Lifeway Press; 2012, 2014.