Bobbing on the ocean’s surface, I listened as the surf instructor reminded me what to do. Standing waist-deep in the water, he shoved my board ahead of a swell and began shouting “Paddle! Paddle! Now stand up!” With one swift motion I pushed myself from my chest to my feet and found my balance as the board moved towards the shore. After years of wanting to learn, it was a thrill to surf in the warm waters of Kauai that day. The long board, low waves, and help from a knowledgeable teacher were key ingredients for success.
As much as I loved the experience, you won’t find me riding the waves in my home state of California anytime soon. There are many aspects of the sport that intimidate me, but the main one is that I’m not an “insider.” There is a whole culture and unwritten code of conduct in the world of surfing. A newbie who doesn’t know better is sure to get a tongue-lashing from locals who don’t appreciate a “kook” messing up their surf session. (Yes, surfers have their own brand of slang and terminology too.)
Of course, surf culture isn’t the only place where “outsiders” may be intimidated to dive in–many people who don’t attend church view it with the same hesitation. There are aspects of our faith that attract them, but much of Christian culture is such a turn-off that they aren’t willing to risk engaging in it.
I’ve had a unique opportunity to spend time weekly with a group of women who once considered themselves “newbies” to exploring faith. When we started meeting, some had church backgrounds but lacked biblical knowledge, while others were discovering the Christian faith for the first time. Regardless of their levels of experience, two things held them back from seeking answers to their spiritual questions before joining our group: hypocrisy and judgment. Most had at least one negative experience with a “churchy” person that had tainted their perspective of God and the Church as a whole.
These honest women have given me an “outsider’s” view into Christian sub-culture. For most of them, our group was the first time they felt safe to ask questions without fearing judgment or criticism. That is why Jesus’ words in the Sermon on the Mount are so striking to me:
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” (Matthew 7:1-5, NIV)
Judging people labels and categorizes them, diminishing their value and dismissing them based on outward characteristics or actions. Many Christians are quick to let the sinful behaviors and attitudes of non-believers deter them from engaging in relationships. Most people tend to gravitate toward others who think and act like them and who agree with their views. This only compounds the problem. It’s so much easier to judge a person for things we see on the surface than to take time to develop a friendship and to discover what influences and worldviews have impacted their perspectives.
Judging people creates a barrier that prevents opportunities for deeper relationships. It intimidates others and often causes Christians to appear self-righteous. Judging others also puts us in a position of superiority that stands in opposition to humility. It causes us to hide our sins and weaknesses for the sake of pride, making us hypocrites in the process.
Jesus gave us the perfect model for engaging others with love. He took time to get to know people in all stations in life–even the worst sinners. His harshest words were directed not towards obvious “sinners” but toward the most self-righteous and superior people He encountered: the Pharisees.
The next time you’re tempted to make a quick judgment about someone, stop and think first. What factors might be contributing to their actions and attitudes? Examine your heart and ask God to help you see the person as He sees them. Make time to understand them before being so quick to dismiss them.
And to be clear, there is a place for using discernment to hold other believers accountable for their sins. James 5:19-20 explains, “My brothers and sisters, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring that person back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins.” Helping another believer recognize his or her sin needs to be done in the context of a caring relationship. This isn’t judging someone–it’s loving them enough to point them away from the destructiveness of sin and back to God. How we handle non-believers is different. We shouldn’t introduce them to our faith by pointing out their sin: “What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside.” (1 Corinthians 5:12-13a, NIV)
Let’s strive to be more like my surf instructor– coming alongside people patiently and helping them to discover the tremendous joy found through a relationship with Jesus. When we begin with love and encouragement, they may eventually trust us enough to let us address the areas in their lives that need transformation. And there won’t be any need to judge.
Let’s never forget that God gave us grace when we deserved judgment. May the song “Grace Wins” by Matthew West remind you of this foundational truth and motivate you to share His grace with others. Click here to watch.
This post complements the sermon series at CPC Danville. Click here to watch The GOAT Part 10.
