Leaning forward, I placed my frozen yogurt on the table and looked into her eyes. “Maggie, I love you and you’ll always be welcome at D-Group, but I guarantee you won’t want to come if you continue down the path you’re on.” My bluntness caught her by surprise and she quickly refuted my prediction, assuring me she’d never stop coming to youth group or meeting with the girls in our Discipleship Group. She was sure she could toggle between the high school party scene and her fragile faith.
I’d met Maggie a year and a half earlier on our church’s annual houseboat trip. She was an incoming freshman brimming with enthusiasm. I was a young, new leader ready to pour into a group of high school girls. Maggie and her best friend were the first ones I met that week and we made an instant connection. The three of us spent a lot of time together that summer. Once school started, we gathered weekly with a group of girls their age to share life and study the Bible. But by the beginning of her sophomore year, other activities began to have more allure to Maggie. Parties and popularity seemed more exciting than youth group, Bible study, and church friends.
Maggie was confused, not sure which voices to heed. She’d tasted enough of God to know He was good, but her parents had never really encouraged her involvement at church. False friends promised fun and excitement that seemed more appealing than the solid and stable lives of the Christians who cared about her. In the years that followed, Maggie popped in and out of my life less and less. She was always invited and included in our group’s activities, but rarely came. It saddened me to learn that this funny, talented, bright-eyed girl later struggled through addiction and a string of bad relationships.
Like many of us, Maggie had a lot of voices speaking into her life, but she didn’t know which ones to trust or follow. Sadly, she’d been exposed to biblical truth, but strayed further and further from Jesus as deceptive voices lured her down other paths. Her story exemplifies Megan Fate Marshman’s description of the cycle of shame: “In our fallen world, we are being bombarded with lying voices at every turn…Theses voices convince us that we are unacceptable…pushing us to respond through hiding and blame. These shame responses lead us into further isolation, as we choose to close God and others out, believing we can only trust in ourselves. This creates space for greater lies to reign in our hearts. The only way we can truly combat these lies is allowing God and his powerful voice of truth in.” (page 31)
Jesus shows us the alternative to this in John 10 when He describes Himself as a shepherd who lovingly leads His flock: “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand.” (John 10:27-28, NIV)
Listening to Jesus and following Him sounds simple, but with so many voices clamoring for our attention, it’s not always easy to know which ones to ignore. I think that’s where things went sideways for Maggie—she listened to the loudest voices rather than evaluating which ones truly wanted the best for her.
Earlier in John 10 Jesus explains “I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. They will come in and go out, and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” (John 10:9-10, NIV). Megan explains, “Like a thief, these voices hope to force their way into the Inner You. It takes an active heart not to receive them.” (page 31) The most dangerous thief we’ll ever encounter is the devil. Although he can’t snatch us from God’s hands, he’ll do whatever he can to steal our joy, kill our hope, and sabotage our faith. In another passage, Jesus describes the devil by saying, “He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” (John 8:44b, NIV)
So how do we differentiate between the loving voice of our shepherd, the deceitful voice of the devil, and the unreliable voice of the world? Without a doubt, the best way is by evaluating what those voices are telling us in comparison to the unchanging truth of God’s Word. Studying the Bible consistently is critical.
Discerning between these three voices also requires thought and prayer. A few years ago, someone gave me a printed guide that helps me to recognize what voices to follow based on the tone, motive, and character of the messages I’m hearing. Over time, I’ve added on to the guide as I’ve had experiences with the different voices. I’ve included it below to help you tune your ear to the voice of the Shepherd over all others.
| God’s Tone of Voice: Soothing, quieting, peaceful, encouraging, inspiring, grace-filled, reassuring, forgiving, gentle, loving, kind, hopeful, patient, joyful, respectful | Satan’s Tone of Voice: Insistent, demanding, rash, accusing, defeating, discouraging, doubt-inducing, pride-building, vengeful, bitter, self-centered, critical, negative | The World’s Tone of Voice: Comparison focused, fearful of what others think, bases value on exterior qualities, struggles with wanting to measure up, stirs up insecurity |
| God’s Motives/ Character: Builds relationships, empowers us to do what is right, gives us courage, provides wisdom, gives peace, stretches us and challenges us to grow, reassures us, convicts to bring positive and healthy changes, offers grace, understands, forgives, promotes truth | Satan’s Motives/ Character: Destroys, deceives, accuses, divides, isolates, turns people away from God, induces guilt, creates self-loathing, capitalizes on doubts and insecurities, exaggerates faults, magnifies misunderstandings, makes sin appealing and acceptable | The World’s Motives/ Character: Pleases people to gain acceptance, works to fit into the “right” mold, satisfies self, looks out for self, judges & compares self and others, pursues comfort and convenience, avoids hard things, keeps up appearances, bases values and standards on popular opinion |
Take a moment to consider this list. Use it to ponder Megan’s questions: “How have you seen lying voices push you or others into a Cycle of Shame? How can receiving God’s voice into the Inner You help to combat this cycle?”
Reject the enemy’s lies and remember the truth of who you are in Christ by listening to “My Testimony” by Elevation Worship.
Megan Fate Marshman, Meant for Good: The Adventure of Trusting God & His Plans for You, Zondervan, 2020.
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