Tag: Psalm 63

Learning to Lament

“Life often hurts, and we need to know how to pray when it does,” Jennifer Rothschild declares in When You Pray. Maybe prayers of lament aren’t a regular part of your times with the Lord; expressing passionate grief or sorrow isn’t something we do well as a culture. Rather than feeling the depth of our emotions, we expend tremendous energy trying to avoid them. 

We’ve learned to sidestep pain in many creative ways. Here are a few strategies that have become common in our culture:

Numbing: Physical pain in our bodies signals to us that something needs attention. However, if we numb the pain of a toothache without addressing the root issue, the problem grows bigger. Yet many of us do this with our emotions—we feel the unpleasant sensation of pain and we rush to numb it with alcohol, pills, binge watching Netflix, shopping, or something else. Anesthetizing may lessen the pain for a while, but it brings only short-term relief.

Busyness & Distraction: Like waving a toy in front of a toddler crying for his mother, we occupy ourselves with distractions that make us forget emotional pain, at least for a little while. Maybe it’s keeping a full social calendar, scrolling social media, flooding our minds with mental inputs like podcasts or audio books, or throwing ourselves into serving others or working. We often use busyness and distractions to avoid feeling our emotions.

Denial & Avoidance: Sometimes we like to pretend the pain isn’t there. We think that if we don’t acknowledge its existence, it can’t take us under. Like getting caught in a forceful ocean current, we try to resist its power and exhaust ourselves fighting against it. But as a wise pastor once told me, grief waits for us for as long as it takes for us to reckon with it.

Pursuing Pleasure: Taking a vacation, looking for laughs, or deciding we “deserve” to eat with abandon can be coping mechanisms we use trying to counterbalance the pain we’re feeling. Wanting to feel good for just a moment, we justify spending money or consuming calories in an effort to soothe the hurt gnawing inside of us. Often, we end up feeling worse than we did before.

Negative Comparisons: I’ll never forget risking to lament about a painful situation I was experiencing. My confidante responded by saying, “Well, at least…” and then proceeded to share something similar she’d gone through that was much worse. Instead of listening with empathy, she minimized my sadness. I felt foolish and guilty for letting my “lesser” problem affect me so deeply. Trying to make ourselves (or others) feel better through negative comparisons just makes the burden heavier.

Positive Spin: Sometimes we take a hard situation and, instead of processing our painful emotions, we try looking at the bright side. I’ve often tried to console myself and others by focusing only on the benefits emotional hardship could bring. But failing to acknowledge the pain is like covering a wound before cleaning it out—it festers and prevents healing.

Spiritual Bypassing: For a lover of Scripture like me, another way I’ve avoided feeling my sadness is by veering around it. Before even allowing my emotions to surface fully, I’m already trying to find ways to explain away the pain or learn spiritual truth from it. It’s short-sighted to think we can “skip over our pain and just have Jesus ‘fix’ us.”1

We can stave off painful emotions, but ultimately if we don’t deal with them, they leak out of us at times we don’t anticipate. Unacknowledged pain morphs into impatience, anger, irritability, apathy, discouragement, and a host of other negative emotions and behaviors that ripple out to affect others around us.

Rather than avoiding our pain, we need to face it head on and let ourselves feel it deeply. Learning to lament in prayer with total honesty brings great relief and freedom. Try using these steppingstones on the path to comfort and healing.2

1. Address God: Focus your prayer on the One who knows you intimately and listens to you attentively. “Listen to my words, Lord, consider my lament. Hear my cry for help, my King and my God, for to you I pray.” (Psalm 5:1-2, NIV)

2. Pour out your heart: Bring Him your complaints and concerns. Share your raw emotions without holding back. “Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.” (Psalm 62:8, NIV)

3. Request help: Ask God for what you need, but also remain open to His perspective on your situation. “But you, Sovereign Lord, help me for your name’s sake; out of the goodness of your love, deliver me.”(Psalm 109:21, NIV)

4. Express trust. Affirm your faith in God’s character and His Word. (Or ask Him to build your trust in Him if you’re not quite there yet.) “Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.” (Psalm 62:1-2, NIV)

5. Praise Him. No matter how terrible you feel, God is still good. Remind yourself of this by expressing adoration for His wisdom, strength, and faithfulness (or whatever qualities of His you appreciate.) Use the Bible to help you if you can’t come up with anything on your own. “Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails  and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign Lord is my strength;  he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to tread on the heights.” (Habakkuk 3:17-19, NIV)

Lament gives us time and space to identify our feelings and process them in the safe, loving, patient presence of our Heavenly Father. Laying out our emotions allows the Lord to comfort us and guide us, freeing us to move forward instead of being continually weighed down. It’s hard work, but so worth it. The next time you’re hurting emotionally, consider making time to practice lament and let the Lord refresh your spirit.

Was this forwarded to you? You can receive new posts automatically in your inbox by going to www.marybethmccullum.com, entering your e-mail address and clicking “subscribe.”

1. John Mark Comer quoting John Welwood, Praciticing the Way, Waterbrook, 2024, 88.

2. Jennifer Rothschild, When You Pray session 5, Lifeway Press 2023, 119.

Quenching Your Thirst

Stumbling down the dusty trail, I had one thing on my mind: water. I’ll never forget that summer day in Yosemite National Park. My husband and I had embarked on an ambitious 14.2- mile roundtrip hike from the valley floor to the top of Half Dome, 8,800 feet above sea level. With little planning and minimal gear, we set out to conquer the iconic rock and enjoy Yosemite’s stunning scenery. Only a few hours into our 11-hour adventure we discovered with dismay that one of our bottles had sprung a leak, leaving us with half the water supply we’d brought to last all day. Nonetheless, we decided to press on. 

After ascending the granite backside of the dome and marveling at the panoramic view, we began the long hike back to camp. Our remaining water was long gone, and the dry summer heat intensified as the afternoon wore on. Trudging along the dusty trail, all we could think about was quenching our thirst. At one point, the path paralleled the Merced River and we were tempted to wade in for a drink, but decided against it. The instant gratification wasn’t worth the risk of being swept into the current or ingesting microscopic parasites that could make us sick with Giardia.

The sun was sinking as we neared the final leg of the trail and remembered a drinking fountain stationed near the bottom. Anticipating the cool stream of water touching our lips, we started to run despite our exhaustion. When we finally reached it, I leaned down and drank from the spout until my stomach felt like it would burst.

That’s the first thing I thought of when I read David’s words: “You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water.” (Psalm 63:1, NIV) 

Have you ever thirsted for God with that same kind of intensity? Megan Fate Marshman explains: “We come to see through David’s …dialogue that … seeking after God means to have an intimate personal relationship with Him. He desires this closeness to God so much he compares it to thirst (63:1). David seeks satisfaction, something that we all relate to, but he has a different perspective—seeking God IS what satisfies him. He finds fullness in thinking about God, praising Him, remembering all He has done for him. David seeks God because David cannot imagine any other anything that will fill him up mentally, emotionally or literally than God.” (page 89)

In another psalm, David highlights all that the Lord does: “Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits— who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.” (Psalm 103:2-5, NIV, italics added)

Do you see how David describes the Lord’s blessings on every aspect of our lives: spiritual, physical, emotional, and mental? Seeking Him fulfills us like nothing else can, renewing and rejuvenating us. And the more we pursue the Lord, the more He works in us through the power of His Holy Spirit. 

Paul’s prayer in Ephesians shows a similar theme: “I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” (Ephesians 3:16-19, NIV)

Knowing we are loved like this should change how we see ourselves and those around us. As we root ourselves in Him, our understanding of how deeply He loves us continues to grow. Because of this, “Our actions can have impact as we overflow Jesus’ love to others through us.” (p. 91)

Megan also invites us to consider how this looked for the disciples in Acts 2 when they received the Holy Spirit Jesus had promised them: “Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house were they were sitting. They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire the separated and came to rest on each of them. All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them.” Hearing the variety of voices and languages, a crowd gathered and listened in amazement saying, “we hear them declaring the wonders of God in our own tongues!” (Acts 2:4 & 11, NIV) Here we see the disciples were empowered by the Spirit, not their own effort. They made themselves available, and God used them mightily.

Another striking aspect of this story is that the crowd came together spontaneously when they heard what was happening. Can you imagine what could happen if we asked the Spirit to flood the places where we spend time; to draw people in so that we could proclaim His wonders like the disciples did in Acts 2? Scripture shows that when Christians unify in this way, revival happens. What incredible impact believers have when they respond to the Spirit together! It inspires me to pray for the Him to fill me more and more each day.

Consider my opening story of the parched hike I took in Yosemite and how my need for hydration propelled me forward. That’s the kind of spiritual thirst that exists in our world today. People are searching for meaning and not finding it. They’re drinking from sources that offer temporary gratification, but not lasting fulfillment. In many instances, the things they’re seeking are causing them harm or creating a whole new set of problems.

Drawing near to God fills us so that we can pour out His love to others. Will you try an experiment with me this week? Every time you take a drink of water, let it prompt you to seek the Lord in prayer. Ask Him to pour His love and grace into you so they can flow out to splash on others. Be open for Megan’s blessing to become a reality in your life: “May you be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God so that you can overflow Christ’s love to a thirsty world.” (page 92)

As believers, we’re called to do two things: Love God and love others. Let Danny Gokey’s song “Love God Love People” inspire you today.

Megan Fate Marshman, Meant for God: The Adventure of Trusting God and His Plans for You, Zondervan, 2020.

Sunshine and Shadows

In one day, Job lost his ten children, numerous servants, and all the livestock he owned, obliterating his family and livelihood. Consumed by grief, he tore his robe, shaved his head, and fell to the ground to worship God saying, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.” (Job 1:21, NIV)

Scripture tells us, “In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing.” (Job 1:22, NIV)

While Job’s grief was still fresh “Satan went out from the presence of the Lord and afflicted Job with painful sores from the soles of his feet to the crown of his head. Then Job took a piece of broken pottery and scraped himself with it as he sat among the ashes. His wife said to him, ‘Are you still maintaining your integrity? Curse God and die!’ He replied, ‘You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?’ In all this, Job did not sin in what he said.” (Job 2:7-10, NIV)

What strikes me most isn’t the tragedy of Job’s losses, but his response to them. In his grief, he worshiped the Lord and accepted the harsh turn of events. Does this surprise you like it does me? Praising God through difficult times feels foreign to us. Maybe it’s because our culture seems obsessed with comfort and ease and labels anything that’s hard or painful as bad or wrong. 

Even among Christians, there is a sense that God is good… as long as He does things the way we want. We thank Him when He answers prayers according to our desires and question Him when He implements a different plan. We’ve developed a quiet sense of entitlement, believing we have a right to certain things. We think we deserve a smooth path devoid of obstacles and are injured and indignant when God allows hardship instead. We take the good things in our lives for granted instead of seeing them as blessings. And we question whether God really is good or loving when something hard happens that disrupts what we consider “normal.” We rarely embrace that life is a balance of sunshine and shadows. Instead, we become doubtful, cynical, or self-pitying when dark clouds obscure our bright skies.

Sometimes we forget that the Lord deserves praise regardless of our circumstances. We focus on what He does or doesn’t do instead of who He is. I remember being struck by this realization many years ago when I witnessed parallel tragedies with opposite outcomes. In the span of two years, two little girls I loved faced dire situations: one was diagnosed with a brain tumor and the other almost drowned. Both spent time in the hospital ICU with grim diagnoses. One ended up losing her life; the other made a full recovery. Both came from families of faith who had prayed for miracles and trusted God to do what was best.

I don’t know why the Lord chose to heal one while allowing the other to die. It remains a mystery why one family got to resume their “normal” life, while the other was altered forever. Despite the opposite outcomes, both families accepted the pain God had allowed and grew deeper in their relationships with Him. Their trust in the Lord was inspiring and had a ripple effect on everyone who knew them, and many who didn’t.

These incidents gave me a fuller understanding of the Psalmist who says: “My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him.  He alone is my rock and my salvation, he is my fortress, I will never be shaken” (Psalm 62:1-2, NIV ‘84) As followers of Jesus, we understand that salvation and security lie outside the realm of circumstances. Whether earthly events turn out well or not, our true hope has an eternal perspective because death cannot separate us from God. 

There is a temptation to spend so much time questioning the Lord in hard times that we miss the opportunity to trust Him and let Him comfort us.  We wrestle with doubt and ask, “Why is God letting this happen?” Meanwhile, we overlook the places where He is showing up; where He is giving us tangible answers. Being consumed by self-pity also causes us to miss the ways He wants to teach and refine us through painful times. Additionally, it means we bypass chances to show others His goodness. In God’s economy, pain shouldn’t be wasted like this.

We can’t forget that no matter what hardships we encounter in this life, God wins in the end.  The Psalmist states it so clearly: “Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands… On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night.  Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.  My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.” (Psalm 63:3-4,6-8, NIV ‘84) Ultimate hope doesn’t come from expecting God to turn circumstances in our favor; it comes from knowing His love is better than even life itself. Trusting His hand to hold us up and remembering that He walks with us through the darkness gives us the comfort we need. Because of His presence, we can find joy in the darkness– not a happy, smiling, giddy kind of joy, but a deep, peaceful assurance that He is in control and always has been.

Beloved author and preacher Oswald Chambers wrote: “We imagine we would be all right if a big crisis arose; but the big crisis will only reveal the stuff we are made of, it will not put anything into us… Crises always reveal character.” When we put our trust in God and walk with Him daily, when we seek His face, study His word, and obey Him in humble reliance, we will see Him molding and shaping our characters little by little.  At the same time, He will be revealing His character and His goodness to us. And when trouble comes, we’ll continue to trust Him and give Him the praise He deserves.

“Yes I Will” by Vertical Worship is a song of defiant praise during hardship. Let it fill you with renewed hope today.

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, Discovery House Publishers, 1935, 1963, Sept. 10 entry.  

Building Your Core Strength

“God leads us by unexpected ways, off the strong and solid land.”

-Amy Carmichael

Clenching my toes in the wet sand, I looked up at the grey clouds filtering the early morning sun.  It was the last day of our family vacation and I planned to make the most of it, whether it rained or not.  Stand-up Paddle Surfing had been our family’s favorite activity in the Newport Harbor all week.  The final morning dawned cool and damp after an overnight rainstorm, but the calm bay beckoned me onward.  Other days we’d stood on the beach in gentle afternoon breezes that felt more like fierce headwinds once we paddled out on the bay.  Battling strong currents and choppy water, we’d bent our knees to avoid being toppled by wakes of passing boats. Each day we paddled out, our core muscles became stronger and our legs more steady as we balanced on the constantly moving boards.  I didn’t want to pass up the chance to glide through calm waters on that final day.

To the casual observer, paddle surfing hardly looks like a sport.  Before I tried it, people told me it was a great “core” workout.  Although I’d often been unaware when out on the water, the soreness of my muscles afterward told me they were right. Our “core” is essentially our torso, which Certified Personal Trainer Paige Waehner describes as “the body’s center of power.”  She explains that “these core muscles help keep your body stable and balanced.”  Waehner says that among the benefits of working on the core is having “interesting workouts that challenge you in new and different ways.”

Having a strong physical core significantly impacts our quality of life.  It makes our bodies more durable and less susceptible to injury.  Similarly, having a strong spiritual core affects every part of our daily lives.  The more we lean into God and trust His promises, the stronger our core becomes.  His strength becomes part of the fiber of who we are and is readily available for us at all times.  And just like those physical core workouts, God give us challenges that stretch us in new and different ways.

It takes consistent sweat and effort to build our physical strength, whether it is by intentionally doing core-strengthening workouts or engaging in an activity like paddle surfing where it happens naturally.  Similarly, our spiritual core strengthening can happen in several ways. We can be diligent about studying God’s word, praying, serving, giving and connecting with others who follow Him.  However, sometimes we get a spiritual core-strengthening workout when we least expect it.   In The Shelter of God’s Promises Sheila Walsh says “Life’s greatest trials often come without a moment’s notice.  There is no prep time or convenient moment to book them on our daily calendars.  They brutishly make their way into our lives and threaten to undo us…When we look back, those moments can become milestones and strong pillars of our testimony because we survived on His strength alone” (p. 152).   If our disciplined pursuit of God strengthens our spiritual “muscles”, then the trials we face provide the opportunity to show off God’s strength.

The Bible assures us we are going to have trials, but how we respond to them is our choice. Jesus tells us in John 16:33 “In this world you will have trouble.  But take heart!  I have overcome the world.”  If we really believe this, we can be encouraged knowing that God is trustworthy.   He has the big picture in mind for our lives that we can’t always see from our limited perspective.

Looking back, I realize how God has used trials to strengthen my core and to increase my trust in Him.  I didn’t enjoy going through them, but I am thankful for the ways He used them to strengthen me.  Through the things I’ve learned, I have been able to encourage others going through similar difficulties.  I can point to specific scriptures that brought hope and reassurance to me in hard times:  1 Peter 1:6-7 as I struggled through my freshman year in college, Jeremiah 17:7-8 and Psalm 27:13-14 as my husband and I prayed through a major career change for him, Psalm 62 & 63 during some severe illnesses of different family members.  Those passages became a lifeline for me, reassuring me of God’s presence and enabling me to have a supernatural strength I never could have had on my own.

Sarah Young’s Jesus Calling is one of my favorite daily devotionals.  Each day’s writing combines several scriptures and speaks to the reader as if it is directly from the voice of God.  A recent entry caught my eye: “Learn to appreciate difficult days.  Be stimulated by the challenges you encounter along your way.  As you journey through rough terrain with Me, gain confidence from your knowledge that together we can handle anything.  This knowledge is comprised of three parts:  your relationship with Me, promises in the Bible, and past experiences of coping successfully during hard times.” (p.327)

So, when the headwinds blow and I’m struggling against the current, I can bend my knees and dig in my paddle with confidence knowing that God is going to give me strength I need.

What about you?  When has God led you in “unexpected ways off solid land”?  Do you have a few Bible verses that have sustained you through hard times?  As you look back, what milestones reveal God’s strength that you never could have mustered on your own?  Post a comment and share it to encourage and strengthen others!