It’s been a strange year for all of us. The pandemic and a variety of other challenges have wreaked havoc on our emotions. Although I’m usually calm and even-tempered, I’ve been surprised by the amount of anger I’ve felt this year. Most of my extreme feelings have been sparked by circumstances beyond my control, not specific people. However, I’ve often vented my anger on others in ways that they didn’t deserve.
I’ve had to pray through my anger many times in the past year. So, Jesus’ teaching on it in the Sermon on the Mount seems especially relevant right now:
“You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.” (Matthew 5:21-22, NIV)
Murder seems like a much bigger offense than anger, but Jesus shows us here that both come from the same root within us. Anger influences our feelings when we stew on it in our minds. Soon it reaches a boiling point and we overflow with resentment. If this pattern continues, our attitudes are flavored with bitterness and our relationships are tainted.
In His teaching on anger, Jesus gives several solutions we can use to keep ourselves in check and to prevent anger from taking over: “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.” (Matthew 5:23-24, NIV)
If you know you’re at odds with another person, seek reconciliation rather than avoiding them. In a modern context, “offering your gift at the altar”could be any activity for or with the Lord: praying, reading your Bible, making a financial donation, volunteering, serving, leading a Bible study, singing a worship song, attending church, etc. This teaching encourages us to reach out and make things right with others before engaging in spiritual activities. It echoes the prophet Samuel’s words to King Saul: “Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the Lord? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams.” (1 Samuel 15:22, NIV)
Jesus continues His teaching saying, “Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still together on the way, or your adversary may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. Truly I tell you, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny.” (Matthew 5:25-26, NIV)
Jesus’ point here is that we shouldn’t let animosity with another person remain unsettled or it will spill over and affect others. When hard feelings escalate and we include more people in the conflict, this magnifies the issue and causes a ripple effect. Think of a contentious divorce or a rift between close friends. When anger leads our decisions, many people get hurt. Is the emotional carnage really worth it in the end?
Scripture has many wise words on anger. If, like me, you’d like to grow in handling your anger biblically, try applying these principles next time your blood begins to boil:
1) Recognize and admit if you’re being prideful or handling your anger sinfully. Sometimes our anger is justified, sometimes it isn’t. Pause and ask yourself if your anger is something you need to process only in prayer or if you need to address it with the one who offended you. Confess it to God and to anyone who has been hurt by your anger: “Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.” (Proverbs 28:13, NIV)
2) Leave room for God’s wrath. This is especially important in cases of injustice, when people abuse those who are innocent. The Lord is righteous and all-knowing; we can trust Him to act justly in His timing, not ours. We cannot control how others behave or respond, but we can make the changes needed on our part: “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.” (Romans 12:17-19, NIV)
3) Return good for evil. We can transform our feelings toward adversaries by empathizing with them as fellow humans. Recognize their brokenness instead of viewing them through the lens of anger: “On the contrary: ‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.’ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:20-21, NIV)
When you’re ready to confront the one who stirred up your anger, keep these principles from the book of Ephesians in mind:
1) Be honest and explain what caused your anger. People cannot read our minds; we must speak the truth in love: “Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.” (Ephesians 4:25, NIV)
2) Keep short accounts. Don’t be a peace-faker by avoiding your anger and letting it build up. Deal with it before it reaches a boiling point. Be mindful of what triggers your anger and set healthy boundaries with those who don’t bring out the best in you: “’In your anger do not sin’ Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” (Ephesians 4:26, NIV)
3) Attack the problem, not the person. Talk to the person, not about them: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.” (Ephesians 4:29 & 31, NIV)
4) Don’t react on your first impulse or let your anger lead you. Pause and ask the Lord to show you a godly way to respond. De-escalate the tension instead of adding to it: “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32, NIV)
Cooling a hot temper is not accomplished overnight. But through prayer, Bible study, and reliance upon the Holy Spirit, ungodly anger can be overcome. If, like me, you’ve allowed anger to lead you, why not join me in practicing healthier responses? Seek to glorify God and watch your thoughts and relationships change for the better.
Portions of this post were adapted from this article:
https://www.gotquestions.org/Bible-anger.html
This post was also inspired by Tyler Scott’s sermon at CPC Danville: