Author: mmccullum

Stopping the Spiral of Complacency

We’ve been navigating through uncharted waters in the past few months. After sheltering in place throughout the spring because of COVID-19, most of us assumed we’d be back to normal by mid- summer or fall, at the latest. Unfortunately, we find ourselves continuing in a perpetual state of uncertainty as many regions struggle to get a handle on slowing the spread of the virus. So, instead of getting ready for fall activities to begin in person, we’re trying to figure out how to navigate school, work, and community online. Staying engaged with church services, small groups, and Bible studies will take effort, tenacity, and creativity.

I know for some of us, it’s tempting to disengage and just wait for life to go back to normal. We’re disappointed to see that Bible study groups are meeting online instead of in person. Some of us are tired of Zoom calls and screens in general. We’ve spent so much time at home that we’re becoming apathetic and complacent, which author Jennie Allen explains, “is finding comfort in mediocrity, in accepting things as they are, clinging to the status quo. It’s numbing and zoning out.”

In case you missed my last four posts, I’ve been working through Jennie Allen’s Get Out of Your Head: A Study in Philippians. The book identifies the primary enemies of our minds and the weapons God gives us to fight them. It’s been powerful using these tools to stop my downward spirals and toxic thoughts. So far, we’ve covered four of the six enemies of our minds: self-importance, noise, cynicism, and isolation. We learned how to fight them with humility, silence, delight, and connection. (Check out my last four posts if you haven’t read them yet.) The fifth enemy of our minds is complacency and the weapon we need to fight it is intentionality.

Jennie Allen explains, “You and I were made to be part of an eternal story centered on the unyielding purpose of our service to an unmatched God. We were meant to live intentionally rather than floating along trying to be comfy.” We have a natural desire for comfort, especially when life is uncertain or in transition. Unfortunately, this often leads us to choose what feels good over what is best for us, causing us to settle into complacency. Maybe you’ve experienced this as you’ve transitioned from one season of life to another like becoming a college student or a parent or an empty nester. (Or figuring out life with the restrictions caused by a pandemic.) When you’re discombobulated trying to acclimate to change, you grasp for anything that makes you feel better. At times like this, it’s easy to put your faith on hold to follow the path of least resistance.  

If we’re not intentional about choosing activities and people that will encourage our faith, we’ll be lulled into lukewarm complacency. We’ll be sitting on the sidelines of our lives rather than continuing to grow and pursue God. Jennie Allen explains where this leads, “The questions driving our thought patterns are no longer How will God use me today? And How can I give Jesus to someone? Instead, we’re focused on things like ‘What will make me feel better? What will make me look better? How can I feel okay and content?’” If these questions resonate with you, let this post be a catalyst for change. Engage the weapon of intentionality to fight complacency. Here are a few ideas from Scripture to consider:

-Remember spiritual growth is a journey, not a destination. Your relationship with God will continue to deepen the more you pursue Him and study His Word. Don’t become complacent thinking you’ve arrived at spiritual maturity or that you’ve already learned enough. Scripture is living and active and always has something new and relevant to teach us. Follow Paul’s example from Philippians: “Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:13-14, NIV)

-Take your eyes off yourself. Complacency causes us to float aimlessly in the current of life focusing only on ourselves. Intentionality urges us to look at how we can impact others for the kingdom of God: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” (Philippians 2:3-4, NIV)

-Be intentional about cultivating relationships with people who will spur you on in your faith journey. Make time in your schedule to meet consistently to check in, share your struggles, pray together, and encourage one another with God’s Word. Give them permission to ask hard questions and to challenge you when you’re slipping into complacency. Joining a small group or Bible study creates natural opportunities to do this with like-minded people. “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:23-25, NIV)

Life looks different this year for all of us. But don’t let the enemy use COVID-19 to numb you into complacency and cause you to hold off on joining a Bible study, maintaining meaningful contact with other believers, participating in worship services, or finding ways to serve. Be intentional about choosing to plug in and find a rhythm that will allow you to keep growing, serving, and connecting. If you need some ideas, check out the many opportunities available online through CPC Danville. Click here for more information.

Give your fight against complacency lyrics and a tune with Building 429’s song, “Press On.”

Jennie Allen, Get Out of Your Head: A Study in Philippians, Thomas Nelson Press, 2020, p. 88.

Stopping the Spiral of Isolation

Not long ago I found myself consumed with negative thoughts after a series of text messages. Hurt feelings led me to make some cynical assumptions and harsh judgements. I’d let my joy be stolen by making unhealthy and unfair comparisons. Within a few hours, the negativity felt like a weighty anchor pulling me underwater in a sea of self-pity. After floundering there for a while, I realized I needed a friend to throw me a lifeline. 

Pulling out my phone, I dashed off a quick text asking for prayer. My friend was quick to respond and even offered to meet me in person to process my feelings more. At first, I was hesitant, knowing that an in-person encounter meant I’d have to delve deeper than the few lines I’d spewed out on my phone. It didn’t take long to realize that I needed to stop isolating and get the tangle of thoughts out of my head. I needed an outsider perspective to understand why I’d spiraled to such a negative place.

Sitting in my friend’s backyard later that day, I realized the root issue wasn’t that I’d been wronged, but that I’d fallen into some sinful thought patterns. Humbled, I realized my hurt feelings were based on envy and resentment. I’d wanted to complain and have her make me feel better, instead I saw that my reaction to the texts was sinful and my thinking was faulty. What I needed to do was confess, repent, and move on from my wallowing. Connecting with my friend and processing my thoughts aloud enabled me to stop the downward spiral.

Ironically, this situation unfolded the same week I was studying the fourth enemy of our minds. In case you missed my last three posts, I’ve been working through Jennie Allen’s Get Out of Your Head: A Study in Philippians. The book identifies the primary enemies of our minds and the weapons God gives us to fight them. It’s been powerful using these tools to stop my downward spirals and toxic thoughts. So far, we’ve covered three of the six enemies of our minds: self-importance, noise, and cynicism. We learned how to fight them with humility, silence, and delight. (Check out my last three posts if you haven’t read them yet.) The fourth enemy of our minds is isolation and the weapon we need to fight it is connection.

Jennie Allen explains, “We find ourselves in a generation that has made an idol out of the very thing God is calling us away from: independence. But often when we back away from others, it’s because we’re listening to lies about our worth…We weren’t meant to be alone in the dark. Being known turns on the light. And that scares the devil. He doesn’t want us in the light because when we stay in the dark with him, he can tell us whatever he wants. No more. Use the weapon of connection, and fight with light.”

The apostle Paul models the importance of connection throughout the book of Philippians. During a two-year house arrest in Rome, he wrote this letter to the beloved people of the church he’d founded on his second missionary journey recorded in Acts 16. Let’s see what inspiration we can draw from his examples:

Connection Through Prayer: “I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now.” (Phil 1:3-5) Paul’s ongoing prayers for the believers in Philippi kept his heart connected to theirs. In the same way, when we pray with and for others it keeps us tied to them and gives us tender feelings for them.

Connection Through Shared Goals: “And because of my chains, most of the brothers and sisters have become confident in the Lord and dare all the more to proclaim the gospel without fear.” (Phil 1:14) Paul’s imprisonment motivated fellow believers to continue the work he’d started. Their mutual passion to share the good news of Jesus created a deep bond between them. In the same way, we connect with others through having mutual motivations and goals rooted in Jesus.

Connection Through Caring for Others: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” (Phil 2:3-4) Looking beyond ourselves to care for the needs of others creates powerful connection points and authentic relationships.

Connection Through Serving with Others: “For everyone looks out for their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ. But you know that Timothy has proved himself, because as a son with his father he has served with me in the work of the gospel.” (Phil 2:21-22) Timothy and Paul labored for the sake of the gospel together. Doing this bonded them like a father and son. Serving with others is a powerful way to make meaningful and lasting connections.

Connection Through Allowing Others to Serve You: “But I think it is necessary to send back to you Epaphroditus, my brother, co-worker and fellow soldier, who is also your messenger, whom you sent to take care of my needs.”  (Phil 2:25) The Philippians sent Epaphroditus to care for Paul while he was imprisoned. Paul’s willingness to allow Epaphroditus to do this created a lasting bond between them. It also strengthened Paul’s connection to the believers who had sent Epaphroditus to help him in his time of need.

Connection Through Shared Struggles: “I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death.” (Phil 3:10) Paul wanted to experience suffering to identify with Jesus. When we journey through suffering with others and the Lord, it connects us to them in deep, lasting ways.

Connection Through Shared Hope: “But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.” (Phil 3:20-21) Sharing the same hope for the future connects us to other believers and enables us to encourage one another, especially in difficult times.

Connection Through Tangible Support: “Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles. Moreover, as you Philippians know, in the early days of your acquaintance with the gospel, when I set out from Macedonia, not one church shared with me in the matter of giving and receiving, except you only; for even when I was in Thessalonica, you sent me aid more than once when I was in need.” (Phil 4:14-16) Meeting the tangible needs of others connects us to God’s greater purposes and helps us to participate in building His kingdom on earth. When we support missions and ministries beyond our community, it helps us to connect with His people throughout the world.

Connecting to others is a powerful weapon to stop the downward spiral caused by isolation. What’s one area mentioned above you’ll pray and ask God to expand in your life in the months ahead?

The first time I heard OneRepublic’s song “Connection” the lyrics struck me as being the anthem for our culture today. It paints a picture of how many people in our world are hungry for meaningful connection. If you enjoy fellowship with Jesus, let Him use you to share it with others.

Jennie Allen, Get Out of Your Head: A Study in Philippians, Thomas Nelson Press, 2020, pages 86 & 87.

All Scripture quoted from the New International Version.

Stopping the Spiral of Cynicism

I used to pride myself on being cynical. It made me feel smart because I saw past façades and was less likely to take things at face value. Like Toto the dog in The Wizard of Oz, I recognized there was a hidden truth behind the curtain that many people couldn’t see. What I didn’t realize was that cynicism also kept me from fully participating in life or experiencing a sense of belonging with others.

The Oxford English Dictionary defines a cynic as someone who “shows a disposition to disbelieve in the sincerity or goodness of human motives and actions.” Jennie Allen expands on this idea saying, “Cynicism erodes our ability to see God rightly. Cynicism at its root is a refusal to believe that God is in control and God is good. Cynicism is interpreting the world and God based on hurt you’ve experienced and the wounds that still lie gaping open. It forces you to look horizontally at people rather than vertically at God.”

So, here’s how cynicism causes us to spiral downward in our minds, “The enemy’s strategy is to flood our thoughts with visions of all that is wrong in this broken, fallen world to the point we don’t even think to look for the positive anymore. Cynicism just becomes the way we think, and we don’t even notice.” This was true of me until a Bible teacher I respected pointed out the dark side of cynicism many years ago. Since then, I’ve prayed regularly about how to keep it from being the filter for all my thoughts.

In case you missed my last two posts, I’ve been working through Jennie Allen’s Get Out of Your Head: A Study in Philippians. The book identifies the primary enemies of our minds and the weapons God gives us to fight them. It’s been powerful using these tools to stop my downward spirals and toxic thoughts. So far, we’ve covered two of the six enemies of our minds: self-importance and noise. We learned how to fight them with humility and silence. (Check out my last two posts if you haven’t read them yet.)

As with the previous enemies we explored, God provides us with a weapon to fight cynicism in our thoughts: delight. It isn’t the antidote I was anticipating, but it does make perfect sense. Allen explains, “Cynicism is destroying our ability to delight in the world around us and fully engage with others. God has an abundance of joy and delight for us, and we’re missing it with arms crossed… Cynicism puts our minds on things of this earth, and we lose hope. Beauty points our gaze toward the heavens and reminds us of hope. Cynicism crumbles in the presence of beauty.” (p. 128 & 135) This is why Scripture encourages us to focus our thoughts in a specific direction:

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.” (Philippians 4:8-9, NIV)

Consider the amount of time you spend on thoughts that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy. It’s impossible to remain cynical when we delight in these things. Our focus changes and we spiral up instead of down.

In the opening words of Psalm 19 King David paints a picture of how noticing the Lord’s creation leads us to delight in Him: “The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they reveal knowledge. They have no speech, they use no words; no sound is heard from them. Yet their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world.” (Psalm 19:1-4a, NIV)

Like David’s experience, nature spoke to me in a personal and profound way recently. For several weeks, every time I stepped outside in the morning a small bird would dart away from the topiary tree next to the front door. My presence seemed to alarm her, causing her to perch nearby watching me as I sat doing my Bible study. After a few days I noticed her pattern. Curious, I parted the tree’s branches and spied a nest with tiny blue eggs inside. A feeling of delight welled up in me as I peered at the speckled eggs and the miniature flowers woven into the nest. 

As the weeks progressed, I continued to peak between the branches. The blue eggs eventually hatched to reveal a squirming bundle of downy chicks. At first, they were quiet and sleepy, but within a few days, they woke up to the world. Each time I looked inside they would hold up their tiny beaks waiting for food as the mama hovered nearby.  And then, a few weeks later, I peaked in to discover they were gone. They’d flown away leaving behind a soiled nest and the fragment of one tiny blue egg in the dirt beneath it. It was sad, but sweet too.

I hadn’t just delighted in the birds, but in how God spoke to me through them. What I’d witnessed was an accelerated version of the journey of parenthood I’ve been on for the past 21 years. This fall, my nest will empty as my younger son leaves for college. Watching the life cycle of the baby birds comforted me—reminding me that it is good and right for grown chicks to leave the nest and fly out into the world. Even the mess they left behind showed me why they couldn’t stay there forever. (It also helped me to have a sense of humor about moments when my own child seems to “poop the nest” as he prepares to spread his wings and fly.)

Writing this helps me realize that I’ve used the first three weapons to stop negative spirals in my mind. Choosing humility enabled me to turn away from focusing on myself and my changing circumstances. Rather than grieving the end of my son’s childhood, I’m celebrating the beginning of a new chapter in our family. Choosing silence allowed me to spend those moments on my porch not only finding hope in God’s Word, but in His creation in the tree right beside me. And delighting in the eggs hatching turned me away from cynicism about some of the harder moments I’ve had with my son and reminded me that he’s ready to launch. 

Here’s what I’m realizing: putting these tools into practice works. When we humble ourselves, get quiet, and choose delight, God’s Word and His creation continually point us back to Him and we spiral up instead of down. 

Which tool will you try this week? Use what God has given you and experience the positive difference they make.

Celebrate God’s goodness with me by listening to Micah Tyler’s song “Amen”.

Jennie Allen, Get Out of Your Head: Stopping the Spiral of Toxic Thoughts, Waterbrook Press, 2020, pages, 131, 127, 128, 135. (Quotes in this post are all from this book.)

Jennie Allen, Get Out of Your Head: A Study in Philippians, Thomas Nelson Press, 2020. (This study is what has inspired this series of posts.)

Stopping the Spiral with Silence

Shooting across the boat’s wake, my waterski accelerated faster than expected. Instead of slowing down to turn around the buoy on the slalom course, I found myself catapulting headfirst into the water. Resurfacing, I swam toward the boat, feeling a bit shaken by the crash. Over the days that followed, I felt “off” but couldn’t pinpoint exactly what was wrong. Lights and sounds seemed magnified and jarring. Multi-step tasks felt confusing and difficult. I was easily irritated and upset by things that normally didn’t bother me. Looking up my symptoms online I finally realized the truth: I had a concussion.

After a visit to the doctor, I cut back on my responsibilities and limited my time in places with lots of stimuli. Going to the grocery store was too much for me. I stopped listening to music and ceased multitasking. I had to monitor time spent watching TV or working on the computer or I’d become agitated and overwhelmed. I spent significant time daily lying down in a quiet, darkened room letting my brain rest and heal. 

Because I’d ignored the warning signs from my body during the first few days after my fall, I hadn’t given my brain quiet time to rest and recover. Bombarding it with constant inputs early on slowed the healing process, causing much of my life to be put on hold for two months.

I thought of that strange season as I considered the second weapon to fight negative spirals in our minds. In case you missed last week’s post, I’ve been working through Jennie Allen’s Get Out of Your Head: A Study in Philippians. The book identifies the primary enemies of our minds and the weapons God gives us to fight them. It’s been powerful using these tools to stop my downward spirals and toxic thoughts before they go too far. 

My last post covered the first enemy of our minds: self-importance. We learned that humility is the weapon God gives us to fight against it. The second enemy of our minds highlighted in the book is noise. Not surprisingly, the weapon to fight against it is silence. Take a moment and consider all of the inputs you receive on a given day: texts, e-mails, phone calls, social media posts, podcasts, TV, radio, news, magazines, and books. I haven’t even mentioned face-to-face conversations, meetings in person or on Zoom, interactions with cashiers, fellow customers, or restaurant servers. And what about the junk mail, phone messages, bills, and solicitations you process daily? Just writing the list makes me feel overwhelmed. No doubt, the number of inputs entering our minds on any given day is staggering. There’s a lot of noise bouncing around in our brains.

Most of us have grown so accustomed to the constant barrage of information demanding our attention, we don’t realize how deeply we’re being affected by it. Jennie Allen explains, “Recognizing our spirals and naming them is the first step in interrupting them. That’s why the enemy wants to fill our lives and our heads and hearts with noise. Because silence with God is the beginning of every victory. Stillness, solitude in the presence of God, is the basis of our strategy for interrupting all kinds of problematic thought patterns…In silence we get to rewrite that pattern while taking back the power He has given us.”

I think all of us could benefit from being more cognizant of the number of inputs we receive daily. We need time to step away from the noise and give our minds and souls a rest. One of my favorite verses reinforces this idea, “The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” (Zephaniah 3:17, NIV ’84)

We consume and process an endless supply of information. And these constant inputs make us weary and often leave us feeling inadequate, overwhelmed, and anxious. But when we take time to draw near to the Lord, we allow Him to silence the noise in our heads that distracts us from Him. Letting Him quiet our spirits gives our minds rest and reminds us of His sovereignty over all things.

In fact, God spoke directly to His people about this very thing through the prophet Isaiah. He chastised them for rejecting His wisdom: “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.” (Isaiah, 30:15, NIV ’84) This passage explains that the path to salvation and strength is paved with repentance, rest, quietness, and trust. It also highlights how people often choose to ignore this truth. Sounds a lot like our culture today.

Jennie Allen suggests, “When you’re stuck in a downward spiral of discontent and distraction, get quiet. What truth will you shift your thoughts toward, in order to combat the lie that anything else can satisfy you like spending time with God?”

I love how David’s words highlight the first two weapons we’ve considered: 

“Lord, my heart is not proud; my eyes are not haughty. I don’t concern myself with matters too great or too awesome for me to grasp. Instead, I have calmed and quieted myself, like a weaned child who no longer cries for its mother’s milk. Yes, like a weaned child is my soul within me.” (Psalm 131:1-2, NLT) Humility and quiet stop negative spirals and lead us to peace and contentment.

Fight the constant noise in your life by pulling away for a few moments with the Lord. Monitor your inputs to stop the negative spirals that threaten to pull you downward. Let God realign your thoughts with the truth of His Word as you spend quiet time with Him. 

For some tips on good Scriptures to read as you spend quiet time with God, check out my recent post “Rise to Rest” by clicking here.

Jennie Allen, Get Out of Your Head: A Study in Philippians, Thomas Nelson Press, 2020, 62-63, 64

Stopping the Spiral with Humility

I’ve called it many things over the years—feeling down, being in a funk, getting triggered, having my buttons pushed, riding the rollercoaster. Now, thanks to Jennie Allen’s book Get Out of Your Head, I have a new name for it: spiraling. Let me paint a picture of it for you.

Imagine you have an interaction with another person that sparks an emotion. Let’s say you feel hurt, which leads to a thought like, “I’m worthless, no one cares about me.” Your emotions spiral downward, affecting your behavior. Attempting to shield yourself from further hurt, you withdraw not only from this person, but from others as well. This behavior, in turn, affects your relationships. People you know feel ignored or rejected by your withdrawal. Your connection with them weakens, causing strained relationships as a consequence. You find yourself isolated and wallowing in hurt, validating your feelings of worthlessness.

It doesn’t have to be this way. Allen explains that spirals can progress in one of two directions, they can go “up toward God, or downward toward the thing we’re fixating on.”1 The progression follows a predictable pattern: emotions trigger thoughts which lead to behaviors that affect relationships that lead to consequences. However, we can learn “to choose thoughts that conform to the mind of Christ”2 and when we do this, “we start seeing better behaviors, better relationships, and better consequences.”3 So, our downward spirals begin to flip upward when we choose to focus on God.

For the past few weeks I’ve been working through Jennie Allen’s Get Out of Your Head: A Study in Philippians. The book identifies the primary enemies of our minds and the weapons God gives us to fight them. I’ve been able to practice what I’m learning with real-life challenges on a regular basis. It’s been powerful using these tools to stop my downward spirals before they go too far. Because it’s been beneficial to me, I’d love to share it with you. If you’re intrigued, consider picking up a copy of the study to do on your own, or with friends.

Self-Importance vs. Humility

The first enemy of our minds highlighted in the book is self-importance. It’s the sense of entitlement that makes us think we deserve special treatment. Allen explains, “We’re fed a continuous message of how much we matter, how very important we are—but in the long run, our urge to protect ourselves and promote our own awesomeness leads to more separation, more disillusionment with each other, and more insecurity and fruitless comparison.”4 Allen explains, “lasting joy will come only when God is in the center.”5 When we put God where He belongs, we rest in His power, not our own. The weapon we use to fight self-importance is humility. Consider this wisdom from Scripture:

Philippians 2:3-4 “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” Self-importance is rooted in selfish ambition and conceit. So, when we value others above ourselves and look to their interests, this diffuses the inflated view of self that sent us spiraling downward in the first place. 

Ephesians 4:2 “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” It’s impossible to be harsh and gentle at the same time. When someone hurts us and we choose to bear with them in love, we recognize their value, in spite of their offensive behavior. Patience keeps us from making a rash judgement, overreacting, or lashing out in our pain.

1 Peter 5:5b-7 “All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, ‘God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.’ Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” When we’re anxious, worried, or upset, the wise choice is to cast those negative emotions at the foot of the cross. Entrusting them to God keeps us from striking back pridefully and assuming we’re right and the other person is wrong. If God opposes the proud, the wise response is to choose humility. This stops the negative spiral and shows the Lord we trust Him to work out the situation in whatever way He deems best. 

Psalm 25:9 “He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way.” When we’re experiencing negative emotions and we decide to share them with the Lord, we leave room for Him to show us the healthiest response. A humble heart is a teachable heart.

Imagine how the scenario I described earlier would look if we used the weapon of humility: You have an interaction with another person that sparks an emotion. You feel hurt. You decide to respond with humility. Choosing humility leads to a thought like, “Wow, that person must be having a bad day. Sometimes I say hurtful things that I don’t mean when I’m in a foul mood too. I’m not going to take that personally.” The emotion spirals upward, affecting your behavior. You give the person grace by assuming the best rather than nursing hurt feelings. This behavior, in turn, affects your relationships. Those you know appreciate your tendency to give the most generous explanation for others’ behavior. Your connection to people strengthens, which leads to positive consequences. Your relationships become healthier and you find yourself feeling grateful for the people in your life. You thank God for humbling you enough to see you’re as prone to sin as the one who offended you. Like the psalmist, you pray, “O God, you know my folly; the wrongs I have done are not hidden from you.” (Psalm 69:5, ESV)

If you find your emotions taking the lead and causing you to spin downward, remember you have a choice. Stop the spiral by using the weapon of humility. Spend time focusing on the wisdom of the verses above. Then, pray and ask God to give you the humility you need to focus on Him instead of your feelings.

Let Natalie Grant’s song “My Weapon” empower and inspire you today.

Jennie Allen, Get Out of Your Head: A Study in Philippians, Thomas Nelson Press, 2020. 1. Page 40 2. Page 42 3. Page 42 4. Page 60 5. Page 60

Learn with a Humble Heart

Sitting in front of the TV, I watched in dismay as footage of angry mobs rioting and looting flashed across the screen. It was April of 1992 and I was finishing my last quarter at UCLA. Four police officers had just been acquitted for usage of excessive force in the arrest and beating of an African American man named Rodney King. Although the riots were several miles away, the smell of smoke from burning buildings wafted into the window on that warm, spring evening. Living in huge, multi-ethnic city like Los Angeles had been an eye-opening experience for a suburban girl like me. It had been both exhilarating and exhausting. 

Less than a year later, I found myself driving into one of the neighborhoods where the looting and rioting had been severe. Charred buildings and boarded up storefronts still punctuated the city blocks as the neighborhood struggled to rebuild. Now in graduate school, I’d been assigned to do my student teaching at a large high school in the heart of this neighborhood. Pulling in that first day, a guard at the school’s entrance rolled back the chain-link fence to let me into the parking lot. As I walked on campus, the color of my light skin seemed to draw the attention of many eyes.  A few of the other student teachers, faculty and staff members shared my ethnicity, but not a single student on campus did.

My semester teaching at that high school was one of the most intense seasons in my life. Not only was I learning how to manage classrooms of students while teaching 10th grade English and 12th grade Writing Composition, I was also encountering hard truths about racial tension and inequality. Issues that had created shocking news stories on TV a few months earlier became personally relevant as I got to know my students and saw the reality of their lives.

After mornings of teaching, afternoons of graduate classes, and evenings of lesson planning, I would lie in bed at night with a clenched jaw. I wrestled with feelings of frustration, helplessness, and discouragement. It was a struggle to find ways to get students to come to class consistently, let alone do their assignments. The more I got to know them, the more I began to see how tangled and complicated their situations were. I felt powerless in the face of the broader social issues that plagued my students, but I did my best to connect with them and teach them how to read critically and to write thoughtfully. Some students warmed up to me, others remained at a cool distance. In those months, I learned how to teach, but I also gained a new understanding and sensitivity for people of color with struggles and challenges that I’d never experienced personally.

Memories of that time have been at the forefront of my mind as protests and riots fueled by racial injustice and senseless deaths have dominated the news recently. Those old feelings of frustration, helplessness, and discouragement have resurfaced. The tangled and complicated situations I saw as a student teacher haven’t gotten any better. It’s so overwhelming and exhausting, I’m tempted to disengage. However, as a committed follower of Jesus, I don’t have the luxury of tuning out.

This week I’ve been studying Philippians 2:3-4, which includes these challenging words: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” (NIV) I don’t see anything in there that gives permission to turn a blind eye to the racial injustices that have plagued our nation and reached a boiling point. It’s a delicate and uncomfortable topic that can no longer be avoided. This isn’t a Black problem, it’s an issue we need to care about as a nation, and especially as followers of Jesus.

I wish I had a simple solution or action point, but I don’t. Here’s what I do know: Jesus is the answer to every problem we face. He is the cure to the sin that is manifesting itself in so many ugly ways in our nation right now. I keep coming back to a quote by A.W. Tozer: “As God is exalted to the right place in our lives, a thousand problems are solved all at once.” And that leads me to the two greatest commandments in Scripture: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” (Luke 10:27, NIV) Imagine what our world would look like if loving God was our highest priority and loving our neighbors (which means all people) was how we showed this. 

If, like me, you’re struggling with how to respond in this time of unrest and tension, may I humbly and respectfully offer some starting points?

  • Seek wisdom from godly, biblical leaders rather than relying on news headlines (see my suggestions at the end of this post). Commit to listening and learning before reacting. And keep pursuing knowledge and understanding even when upsetting headlines no longer dominate the news cycle.
  • Ask trustworthy people to dialogue with you about what you’re learning and how you’re being challenged.
  • Process your thoughts and feelings with God. Share with Him honestly. Invite Him to speak to you through His Word to show you how to respond in your attitude and actions.

Here are passages from Scripture that have been shaping my prayers recently:

Psalm 139: 23-24: “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” We can tell God what is on our hearts and identify anxious thoughts in our minds related to current events. Be bold and ask Him to show you any blind spots you have that are hurtful towards others– especially regarding race. Confess anything He shows you. Thank Him for helping you to see what needs changing so that you can grow closer to Him and be an agent of reconciliation with others.

2 Chronicles 7:14: “If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” Once we’ve humbled ourselves and confessed our sin, we’re ready to pray for our community, our nation, and our world. Pray for others who need to humble themselves, seek God’s face, and turn from evil. Pray that people will desire to surrender their sin to God and that they will look to Him to heal the hurts in our nation and world. Whenenver you see gut-wrenching headlines, let them prompt you to pray for the people involved.

Luke 6:37, 41-42:“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven…Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” Ask God to show you where you’re judging others and magnifying their faults—especially those who have differing opinions and reactions. Pray for a forgiving heart. Pray that God would be at work in others to help them examine themselves and turn from sinful attitudes and behaviors. Pray for people in our nation to have hearts willing to forgive and heal.

 Daniel 9:18-19 “Give ear, our God, and hear; open your eyes and see the desolation of the city that bears your Name. We do not make requests of you because we are righteous, but because of your great mercy. Lord, listen! Lord, forgive! Lord, hear and act! For your sake, my God, do not delay, because your city and your people bear your Name.” Let’s pray for God to show His mercy and to intervene in the midst of racial strife. Our real enemy isn’t social injustice, police brutality, racism, poverty, or violence. Those are merely tools the devil uses to cause chaos, hatred, division, and distress in our world. Let’s ask the Lord to forgive us and to bring hope, peace, healing, and reconciliation to our hurting nation for the sake of His glory.

Invite the Lord to speak to you through these passages and to show you how to respond. Consider using some of the resources below to help you listen and learn. Just start with one. Praying, educating yourself, and sharing with others are simple actions that have powerful consequences.

Watch or Listen: 

  • Pause. Listen. Pray. CPC Pastor Tyler Scott, Earl Smith & Miles McPherson. Click here to watch now.
  • IF:TV. Jennie Allen’s conversation about racial reconciliation with LaTasha Morrison and Mike Kelsey on Wed. June 10. Click here for more information and to find additional resources.
  • Fuller Seminary President, Mark Labberton’s candid conversation with Dr. Dwight Radcliff. Click here to watch now.

Read:

  • The Third Option: Hope for a Racially Divided Nation by Miles McPherson and Drew Brees
  • Under Our Skin: Getting Real about Race. Getting Free from the Fears and Frustrations that Divide Us. by Benjamin Watson and Ken Petersen

Re-route Your Thoughts

Rolling my bike to a stop, I surveyed the trail. Just ahead of me, a large tree limb had fallen across it, blocking my way forward. It would have been awkward to scramble over, especially with my bike getting tangled in the foliage. The best option seemed to be going around it, which meant trudging through knee-high weeds and over rocky ground to forge a new path. 

On my next ride a few weeks later, the tree was still stretched across the main trail, but the long weeds I’d pushed through were now trodden down. Clearly, others had made the same choice to navigate around the obstacle in the path. Each time I took the trail in subsequent months, I noticed how the new route began replacing the old one. Matted grass gave way to bare patches of dirt; rocks were kicked aside. Over time, the rough trail was smoothed by a multitude of feet and bikes. Within months, the path around the fallen tree had become the main route. It had just taken repeated and consistent use.

Recently, I envisioned that re-routed trail because it illustrates changes I’m making to my thought patterns. I’m not proud to admit that my default mode of thinking tends to be critical, negative, and cynical. Rarely do my natural inclinations lead me to assume the best or to feel confident that circumstances will turn out well. Can you relate? Unsatisfied with my negative tendencies, I’ve been focused on building new neural paths that will point me in a more positive direction.

The desire to change my thinking isn’t futile, there is research that supports what I’m trying to do. It turns out our brains are more pliable than we realize. In her book Get Out of Your Head, Jennie Allen explains the work of Dr. Dan Siegel, a professor of clinical psychiatry. “’Where attention goes,’ he wrote, ‘neural firing flows and neural connection grows…Patterns you thought were fixed are actually things that with mental effort can indeed be changed…We are not passive in all this activity of mind and awareness.’ What we think about, our brains become. What we fixate on is neurologically who we will be.”1 So, the more we think certain thoughts, the wider those paths become and the more we’re inclined to travel on them mentally.  

Allen goes on to explain, “Good things happen when we train our attention on that which is beautiful, on that which is authentic and compelling and good. What’s more, beyond the obvious emotional experience, those good things from the hand of God can point us to the One who creates beauty, who is beautiful. Cynicism puts our minds on things of this earth, and we lose hope. Beauty points our gaze toward the heavens and reminds us of hope.”1

The Bible provides the roadmap we need to change our thoughts. Paul’s words in 2 Corinthians show us how to build a new web of trails in our minds: “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10:5, NIV) We can ask the Lord to re-route our thinking onto more positive paths that honor Him. Allen explains, “The spiraling, chaotic thoughts that have so long keep us trapped will give way to the peace and beauty and abundant life Jesus died to give us.”2 This brings hope to us and to others. And when we venture back down negative roads, we can trust the Holy Spirit to show us we’re off track before we’ve traveled too far.

Paul’s words to the Romans describe this process of shifting from old and unhealthy thought patterns to new ones: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” (Romans 12:2, NIV) When we realize we’re letting the world influence us more than the Lord, let’s make it a regular practice to ask Him to renew our minds. Jennie Allen explains, “We renew our minds by filling our minds with truth, with who God says we are, and then holding every other thought up to those truths. Those truths are our weapons, and they stop the spirals in our minds.”2

As we focus on forging new mental paths, we’re learning to keep our thoughts in check. Our mindsets change as we trust the Holy Spirit, apply the wisdom of Scripture, and surrender our thoughts to God consistently. Every day provides a new opportunity to invite the Lord to continue widening new and better paths in our minds.

For some musical inspiration, listen to “Burn the Ships” by the band For King and Country. It invites us to walk away from the negative elements of our pasts and start fresh. As you listen, ask God what unhealthy practices you need to turn from today so you can let Him help you forge new and better paths.

  1. Jennie Allen, Get Out of Your Head: Stopping the Spiral of Toxic Thoughts, Waterbrook, 2020, pages 42 & 135.
  2. Jennie Allen, Get Out of Your Head Study, Thomas Nelson, 2020, pages 54 & 59.

Rise to Rest

This week on IF:Danville at Home I had the opportunity to interview my friend, Tracey. She shared a simple practice called “Rise to Rest” that has transformed her relationship with God. Her goal is to rise early while her house is quiet so she can spend time resting in Jesus before doing anything else. This enables her to let Him guide her for the rest of the day. Like Tracey, I love to do this. Right now, my favorite spot is in a rocking chair on my front porch wrapped in a warm blanket as the sun comes up.

If you haven’t tried spending time alone with God (or haven’t done it in a while), it can feel a bit daunting to know how to begin. I hope this simple guide will help you to find a rhythm that works for you and will enable you to connect with Jesus consistently.

First, let’s start with a few Scriptures to encourage you. James 4:8 tells us, “Come near to God and he will come near to you.” And in Jeremiah 29:13, the Lord says, “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” So, trust that God is there waiting for you as you commit to rising to rest.

If you’re not a morning person, ask God to help you and let King David’s words encourage you: “In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.” (Psalm 5:3, NIV)  Or, let the example of Jesus inspire you: “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.” (Mark 1:35, NIV)

The Plan: Schedule time this week to rise to rest with Jesus. Plan ahead so you’ll be more likely to get up when your alarm goes off!

Prepare & Invite:  Before opening your Bible, take a moment to be still and prepare your heart to read God’s Word. Clear your mind and invite the Holy Spirit to speak to you. Ask Him to give you a humble and responsive heart that will be transformed by Him.

Read & Observe: Slowly read the passage you choose two or three times. Observe the basic facts. 

  • What did it mean to the people of the day when it was written? 
  • What does it tell you about God? (His attributes, desires, promises, commands)
  • What do you learn about humankind or yourself? (Does something in your life need re-alignment with God?)

Meditate:  Focus on the parts that speak to you directly. Answer any of the following that apply:

  • What has connected to my heart or mind?
  • Why is God showing me this today?
  • How does God want me to respond?
  • What is one verse that stands out to me or that sums up the main point of this section?

Respond in Prayer: Talk to God about what He’s shown you through this text. 

  • Ask Him to reveal what He wants you to do.
  •  Wrestle with anything that challenges you or that seems too daunting to apply to your life. 
  • Confess anything that convicts you. 
  • Pray for anyone God brings to mind as you read this.
  • Ask Him to help you apply what you’ve learned.

Share: Tell a friend about your experience and how God spoke to you. Ask them to hold you accountable to continue the practice of rising to rest.

Not sure what to read? Try the Psalms or a book in the New Testament. The gospel of John is a great place to start. Or, use my list of favorites below:

  • Psalms 1, 5, 16, 18, 19,25, 27, 31, 32, 34, 51, 62, 63, 71, 73, 86, 91, 100, 103, 121, 138, 143
  • Matthew 5, 6 & 7 (The Sermon on the Mount)                     
  • Mark 4             
  • Luke 12
  • John 15
  • Acts 2 & 17
  • Romans 8 & 12                                                                                                                       
  • 1 Corinthians 13
  • 2 Corinthians 4
  • Galatians 5
  • Ephesians 2 & 6
  • Philippians 3 & 4
  • Colossians 1 & 3
  • 2 Timothy 1 & 2
  • Hebrews 12
  • 1 Peter 1
  • 2 Peter 1
  • 1 John 4

If you’d like to see my conversation with Tracey about rising to rest, click on the link below. It’s from Week 2 of IF:Danville at Home.

https://vimeopro.com/cpcdanville/marybethmccullum

Inspired by “What is a Quiet Time?” by Redeemer West Side Prayer Ministry. Oct. 2014.  

Be Inspired Again this Week

Sitting on the roof of a houseboat, I settled in for the evening program. The sun dipped low in the sky, glinting on the water. In the distance, a boat sped past causing a patch of reeds to sway in the ripples of its wake. Teenagers lounged in contentment on either side of me, listening as their youth pastor taught. Although I was serving on staff at camp, I was only a few years older than most of the students. I wanted to believe that I was more mature than them, but the pastor’s words pierced me with fresh conviction.

I’d arrived just a few days earlier, showing up 24 hours after my high school graduation. Since I’d attended the camp with my church in prior summers, I felt confident in my ability to be a leader. Working at Houseboats had been my goal since my first time as a camper. Fun with friends, water skiing, sunbathing, and dynamic leaders had drawn me back every year. I liked the way I felt at camp—there was a sense of Christian community that was authentic and meaningful.

In spite of all this, I was nursing serious self-doubt as a leader once I got there. I felt like a fraud. Even though I’d accepted Jesus as a child and had gotten confirmed as a teenager, an ingredient in my spiritual life seemed to be missing when I compared it to others on staff. I’d straddled the fence between my Christian faith and a worldly lifestyle for the majority of my teen years. There had been moments of deep connection with God at camps, but I hadn’t pursued Him consistently in daily life. Now, I felt like I’d missed out on so much because I’d drifted through my teen years with a lukewarm faith.

When my first group of campers had arrived, I’d enjoyed participating in their nightly programs, singing worship songs, and hearing their youth pastor teach. He had kicked off each evening by reading one chapter from Robert Boyd Munger’s My Heart Christ’s Home. The booklet is an allegory depicting a new believer inviting Jesus to live in his home. Together, they tour all the rooms which represent different aspects of our lives. For example, the dining room represents our appetites and desires and the rec room encompasses our fun times and friendships. 

Listening along with my campers, the Holy Spirit began showing me areas of my life that I’d been holding back from the Lord. Perhaps the most impactful for me was hearing about the living room, where Jesus and the new believer planned to meet every morning to talk and study together.  At first, they met daily, but after a while, busyness interfered with their regular time together.  Here’s the portion of the chapter that struck me most:

“As I passed the living room, the door was open. Looking in, I saw a fire in the fireplace and Jesus was sitting there. Suddenly in dismay I thought to myself, ‘He was my guest. I invited Him into my heart! He has come as Lord of my home. And yet here I am neglecting Him.’

I turned and went in. With downcast glance, I said, ‘Blessed Master, forgive me. Have You been here all these mornings?’

‘Yes,’ He said, ‘I told you I would be here every morning to meet with you.’ Then I was even more ashamed. He had been faithful in spite of my faithlessness. I asked His forgiveness and He readily forgave me, as He does when we are truly repentant. 

‘The trouble with you is this: you have been thinking of the quiet time, of the Bible study and prayer time, as a factor in your own spiritual progress, but you have forgotten that this hour means something to me also. Remember, I love you. I have redeemed you at great cost. I value your fellowship. Now,’ He said, ‘do not neglect this hour if only for my sake. Whatever else may be your desire, remember I want your fellowship!’”

Until that moment, I’d never considered how Jesus felt about the relationship we shared. I understood the sacrifice He made for all people on the cross, but I’d never grasped how much He loved me personally. Once I’d asked Jesus to be my Savior, I hadn’t nurtured our relationship. It was like I’d invited Him into my home, but had left Him standing in the entryway. I thought He’d mess up my plans and expect me to do things His way if I let Him in any further.

Hearing that booklet read aloud was a powerful turning point in my faith journey. On one of the final days at Houseboats, I sat on a small beach during solo time and told Jesus things were going to be different between the two of us. Digging my toes into the sand, I wrote a prayer telling Him I wasn’t holding back anymore. I was fully committing to Him, even though it meant making some big changes and hard choices when I got home. I was ready to surrender and have Him not only be my Savior, but my Lord as well. Since then, He’s continued to expand His presence in every room of my life.

My turning point happened over three weeks on a houseboat at the Sacramento Delta. But each follower of Jesus has a unique story about when and how this occurred for them. Recently, I’ve been privileged to dialogue with others about their experiences with Jesus through my involvement with IF:Danville. I’m excited for you to hear them this Thursday during Week 2 of IF:Danville at Home. You’ll have the opportunity to watch interviews with several women who have discovered the joy of knowing Jesus personally and intimately. Each of their experiences is surprising and unique, but also relatable. I hope the variety in their stories will help you to see that God pursues us intentionally and individually to draw us to Himself. 

For more information about IF:Danville at Home, click here.

To read My Heart, Christ’s Home, click here.  

Sonshine Ministries is the camp where I surrendered to Jesus. This summer is the first time since 1975 boats will not being going out due to COVID-19. If you’re looking for a worthy cause to support, consider making a donation to help this ministry stay afloat. Click here to visit their website. You’ll find giving options under the “support” tab.

Be Inspired This Week

Hearing the lock click in the door, I sat up in bed and squinted as light from the hallway streamed into the hotel room. Two women stepped inside, rolling their suitcases behind them. “Hi, I’m Marybeth,” I said as their silhouettes tiptoed past my bed. Surprised to find me still awake, they introduced themselves. It was an awkward albeit memorable way to meet someone for the first time. The whole day had been filled with making new friends as I’d traveled from California to Texas with a group of women from church. We had arrived in stages to attend IF:Lead in Dallas– a conference for women. Some in our group knew each other, but many were meeting for the first time. The common link between us was a shared love for Jesus.

Although the conference lasted only two days, it was loaded with inspiring worship, solid teaching, and impactful testimonies. Our group had a ball together and formed fast friendships. All of us had the same desire to share the incredible experience we’d had with others.

We returned to the Bay Area inspired and ready to begin planning IF:Danville, which would be modeled after IF:Gathering – a larger scale event happening in Dallas in the spring. In case you aren’t familiar with it, IF:Gathering was founded by author and speaker Jennie Allen. It is not only an event, but a ministry impacting people world-wide. Their goal is to put resources in the hands of women in the church to empower them to change lives. 

The group that had attended IF:Lead got busy planning a local gathering. Over time, other friends jumped into the mix to help with organizing different aspects of IF:Danville. Each time we met to plan and pray, enthusiasm for the event gained momentum.

In February, we watched a simulcast of IF:Gathering in Texas and prayerfully chose the talks that would most resonate with our local women. Soon, the programming details fell into place. To make the video teachings more relevant, we asked women in our community to share their personal experiences with Jesus. We thought interviewing them would help others see how personal faith impacts daily life in relatable and practical ways.

The number of hours lovingly poured into preparations for this event was staggering.  All of us couldn’t wait to see how God would inspire those who attended the event in mid-March. Although we were aware there was an unusual virus spreading rapidly around the world, we never dreamed it would impact our plans. It wasn’t until the final days leading up to IF:Danville that the threat of COVID-19 became personal.

I’ll never forget walking into the chapel the morning of March 11 for our final prayer time. The giddy excitement of the previous meetings had been replaced by a somber tone. With a heavy heart, our Women’s Ministries pastor shared the news that our event needed to be postponed indefinitely. County health officials had just announced gatherings over 50 people had to be suspended. Church services, Bible studies, youth groups, and mission trips were all being put on hold.

After hearing the news and shedding a few tears, we prayed together on our knees in the chapel. Despite our deep disappointment, we told God we trusted Him. We believed He’d show us what to do. At a time when people needed hope, we had it ready to share– it was just a matter of figuring out how to do it.

Over time, the Lord revealed a plan. With a bit of creativity and the blessing of technology, we were able to re-format the event to be shown online. So, I’m thrilled to announce this Thursday evening, May 14, will kick off the first of a three week series we’re calling IF:Danville at Home. Now we have the capacity to reach far more than the 400 women we’d planned to welcome to our church on March 13 & 14. 

This week you’ll have the opportunity to hear inspiring stories about how Jesus walked with a teenage girl and a seasoned grandmother through some heartbreaking medical issues. We’ll discover how God used those hard situations to grow their faith deeper. Both will inspire you with their vision for loving others and being intentional about the legacy they’re leaving behind. You’ll also have the opportunity to hear a powerful teaching from Jada Edwards of IF:Gathering. 

The IF:Danville team has spurred on my faith over the past few months and I’m thrilled that they can do the same for you. I hope you’ll join me virtually to be inspired through the interviews and teaching this Thursday at 8pm and on May 21 & 28. And I pray they’ll point you toward the hope found only in Jesus. Be sure to invite a friend who could use some encouragement right now too. For more information, click on the link below. 

http://www.cpcdanville.org/ifdanville/