Category: Anger

Yearning for Unity

Scrolling through my news feed, I’m surprised at how frequently there are articles having to do with the Church or faith-related issues. Sadly, most of the time the articles describe behaviors and attitudes of people who label themselves as “Christian” but have no resemblance to Jesus. I was saddened by a recent one I read that detailed two factions with wildly divergent views whose differences led to a tragic death. It’s no secret that tension and divisiveness have become the norm in our culture today, even in the body of Christ. 

So how do we arrive at the unity that Jesus prayed for in John 17?  How do we respond when others who worship beside us hold different views? Do we reject them and retreat, only associating with those who share the same viewpoints? Do we avoid any subject that might elicit discomfort or a strong reaction?

A good starting place for answering these questions is understanding Jesus’ prayer for unity: “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one—I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.” (John 17:20-23, NIV)

First, it’s important to note that unity and uniformity are not the same thing. Uniformity happens when we already think alike. Conversely, unity only comes when we work hard to find ways to agree with others who have differing views. Unity is something we must grapple with as believers. Ultimately, a stronger bond comes when we acknowledge our differing views and demonstrate willingness to listen and find common ground. So, let’s explore three ways we can align with the heart of Jesus and pursue unity as His followers.1

1) Commit to the Mission of the Church (with a capital “C”): Christian churches across the world use different language to convey a common mission: To know Christ and make Him known. Jesus says it this way in His prayer: “I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.” (John 17:23, NIV) Obedience to God includes gathering with others to worship, connect, and serve. We’re meant to do this together to honor the Lord and realign ourselves with His will. As we’re reminded of God’s love, mercy, and grace, we band together to share what we’ve received from Him with the world around us. When we stop gathering and divide into factions, we prize uniformity and become suspicious of others. This inward focus causes us to become critical of anyone not in our closed system. We zero in on other believers who do things differently instead of looking outward to the world that desperately needs to hear the hope of the gospel. “For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.” (Galatians 5:14-15, NIV)

2) Commit to Being Humble and Others-centric: Our personal opinions feel important and can spark strong emotions, especially in the divisive times we’re living in right now. No one agrees with every decision made by leaders or individuals. But we need to prioritize respecting one another as people and followers of Christ more than we care about being right or airing our opinions. Consider Paul’s wise counsel: “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.” (Ephesians 4:2-6, NIV)

3) Commit to Sacrificing Your Will:  Jesus prayed for the unity of all believers knowing it would be difficult. He prayed this only hours before He was betrayed, abandoned, arrested, tortured, and killed. This is what He was agreeing to when He prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” (Matthew 26:39, NIV) Jesus gave up His will for our sake. Are we willing to do that for His Church? 

Pursuing unity as a body of believers requires an unwavering focus on Jesus. Consider the wisdom of A.W. Tozer: “Has it ever occurred to you that one hundred pianos all tuned to the same fork are automatically tuned to each other? They are of one accord by being tuned, not to each other, but to another standard to which each one must individually bow. So, one hundred worshipers meeting together, each one looking away to Christ, are in heart nearer to each other than they could possibly be, were they to become ‘unity’ conscious and turn their eyes away from God to strive for closer fellowship.”

Author and Bible teacher Kristi McClellan emphasizes: “Oneness is the way of the kingdom of God in the world. Gospel-centered kingdom-oriented unity has always been a unity within diversity. Unity does not occur when we become the same. True, robust, healthy, and vibrant unity happens within our unique and diverse expressions…Jesus prayed we would be one. Let’s do all we can to honor Him as followers of Jesus seeking oneness, unity, harmony, wholeness, flourishing, and delight. The church is best expressed as a bouquet of unique flowers rather than twelve red roses. We are better together…pray our oneness and unity will give the world an ancient taste of Eden and a future taste of the new heaven and the new earth fully realized.”2

As followers of Jesus, let’s commit to pursuing unity and praying for oneness among our fellow believers. Instead of being quick to notice differences that irk us, let’s ask the Lord to reveal where we may be prioritizing our personal agendas. With humility, let’s invite Him to reveal where we’ve gotten in the habit of finding fault, taking offense, or creating division. Let’s ask Him to show the power of His infinite love and grace through us to every person we encounter.

Was this forwarded to you? You can receive new posts automatically in your inbox by going to www.marybethmccullum.com, entering your e-mail address and clicking “subscribe.”

1. The definition of unity vs. uniformity and the three points below it are based on Sean Morgan’s Leaders in Living Rooms podcast episode “Ugly Bride- Three Essential for Church Unity” from Sept. 13, 2021.

2. Kristi McClellan, When You Pray, Session 7, Lifeway Press, 2023, 200.

Talking Our Walk

Do you remember the Bangles’ 1986 hit song “Walk Like an Egyptian”? It’s a fun, catchy, and slightly silly tune referencing ancient Egyptian tomb paintings. Most people who grew up in the 80’s will automatically strike a pose when they hear the song. No one has to tell them to put one arm in front of them bent at 90 degrees with a palm down and the other arm behind them bent at 90 degrees with the palm facing up. 

For followers of Jesus, learning to walk like Him takes a bit more practice. As the Holy Spirit guides us and we study Scripture, believers continually learn the nuances of walking in the ways of our Lord and Savior. That’s why we’ve been marching through Ephesians 4 this summer–to discover how Jesus calls His followers to live. Inspired by Paul’s urging for believers to live worthy of their calling (Ephesians 4:1), we’ve spent time examining specific ways we can honor God with our thoughts, actions, and words. Paul covers a range of topics in a few pithy sentences. His brevity makes the weight of his words even more powerful.

Let’s continue our journey through Ephesians by examining the next few verses: “So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body. And ‘don’t sin by letting anger control you.’ Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil…Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” (Ephesians 4:25-27 & 29, NLT)

Three of the topics involve how we communicate verbally. They seem especially relevant in our culture today.

1) Lies: It seems obvious to point out that believers shouldn’t lie, but there are many socially acceptable ways that we rationalize being untruthful. For example, lying seems like a quick and easy way to make an excuse declining a request or an invitation. It’s also tempting to lie if it will save a few dollars (like getting a discount when there’s an age limit or requirement). Sometimes we avoid the truth because it’s uncomfortable to admit and telling a lie just feels safer and easier in the moment. Lying has become so expected in our culture that people are often surprised when they encounter someone who is honest. So, being truthful sets us apart from the world. And even if no one notices, it honors the Lord by demonstrating obedience to Him and respect for His Word.

2) Anger: Feeling angry isn’t a sin, it’s what we do with it that matters. Jesus displayed righteous anger when he cleared the temple (see Mark 11:15-17). Many other godly people focused their anger for good– leading them to bring justice or to eradicate sinful practices. The problem with anger comes when we use it to justify destructive and hateful behavior. While anger may feel merited when we’ve been wronged, an emotionally charged reaction escalates the situation and gives the enemy an opening to magnify negativity and wreak havoc. Pausing before reacting in the moment allows time to take a breath and pray for wisdom. Instead of embroiling us in heated emotion and making the situation worse, a godly response diffuses tension and brings peace.

The directive not to let the sun go down while we’re still angry means that we don’t allow it to take control of our minds and amplify hateful thoughts. Simmering anger becomes like yeast in bread—it grows with time. Nursing our anger leads us to retaliation, bitterness, and withholding forgiveness–actions that are the opposite of Jesus’ teaching.

3) Language: The words that flow from our mouths reveal the state of our hearts (Matthew 15:17-19). This passage explains what language believers should avoid (foul and abusive) and what language they should use instead (helpful and encouraging).  Paul provides additional clarification on this later in Ephesians: “Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.” (Ephesians 5:4, NIV) 

Foul language has become pervasive in our culture. We’ve been desensitized by hearing it used frequently in media and by public figures. Because humans are prone to social contagion, we unconsciously mirror what we see and hear. The prevalence of swear words and harsh language used in casual conversation has become commonplace, even among followers of Jesus. Choosing to be intentional about preventing obscene and foul language from polluting our vocabularies sets us apart from the world. Being deliberate about speaking words of encouragement, kindness, and gratitude differentiates us and shows we’re walking in a manner worthy of our calling as followers of Jesus.

Have you allowed the world to influence the way you talk? Consider spending time with the Lord and inviting Him to search your heart and show you any behaviors, tendencies, or vocabulary that you need to confess. Let His cleansing mercy free you to walk unfettered by sin and to live worthy of your calling. 

Embrace Paul’s wisdom in Ephesians: “Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.” (Ephesians 5:15-17, NIV)  Walking like Jesus means talking in ways that honor Him and differ from the world. Let’s commit to speaking in a way that reflects who we are in Christ.

Now, just for fun, here’s the song that inspired the idea of walking in a distinct manner. Click here and enjoy “Walk Like an Egyptian” by the Bangles.

Was this forwarded to you? Click here and subscribe to receive future posts directly in your inbox.

Addressing Anger

After years of enslavement in Egypt, the Israelites needed clear and definitive laws from the Lord to function effectively as a new nation. Moses delivered the Ten Commandments to them at the base of Mt. Sinai. The first five establish the authority of God and the importance of honoring Him. The second five clarify how God’s children should relate to one another. Delving into these commandments shows their timeless wisdom for us today. For example, the sixth commandment seems easy for most of us to follow: “You shall not murder.” However, Jesus raises the bar on this commandment in the Sermon on the Mount:

“You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.” (Matthew 5:21-22, NIV)

Being angry isn’t a sin, but it leads to sin when we handle it poorly (see Ephesians 4:26 in point #2 below). Murder seems like a much bigger offense than anger, but Jesus shows us that both come from the same root within us. Anger influences our feelings when we stew on it in our minds. Soon it reaches a boiling point and we overflow with resentment. If this pattern continues, our attitudes are flavored with bitterness and our relationships are tainted. 

In His teaching on anger, Jesus explains how to keep ourselves in check and to prevent anger from taking over: “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.” (Matthew 5:23-24, NIV)

Jesus calls us to seek reconciliation when we’re at odds with others rather than avoiding them. In a modern context, “offering your gift at the altar” could be any activity involving the Lord: praying, reading your Bible, making a financial donation, volunteering, serving, leading a Bible study, singing a worship song, attending church, etc. This teaching encourages us to reach out and make things right before engaging in spiritual activities. It echoes the prophet Samuel’s words to King Saul: “Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the Lord? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams.” (1 Samuel 15:22, NIV)

Scripture has many wise words on anger. If you’d like to grow in handling it biblically, try applying these principles next time your blood begins to boil:

-Recognize and admit if you’re being prideful or handling your anger sinfully. Sometimes our anger is justified, sometimes it isn’t. Pause and ask yourself if your anger is something you need to process only in prayer or if you need to address it with the one who offended you. Confess it to God and to anyone who has been hurt by your anger: “Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.” (Proverbs 28:13, NIV)

-Leave room for God’s wrath. This is especially important in cases of injustice, when people abuse those who are innocent.  The Lord is righteous and all-knowing; we can trust Him to act justly in His timing, not ours. We cannot control how others behave or respond, but we can make the changes needed on our part: “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.” (Romans 12:17-19, NIV)

-Return evil with good. We can transform our feelings toward adversaries by empathizing with them as fellow humans. Recognize their brokenness instead of viewing them through the lens of anger: “On the contrary: ‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.’  Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:20-21, NIV)

When you’re ready to address your anger, keep these principles from the book of Ephesians in mind: 

1) Be honest and explain what caused your anger. People cannot read our minds; we must speak the truth in love: “Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.”  (Ephesians 4:25, NIV)

2) Keep short accounts. Don’t be a peace-faker by avoiding your anger and letting it build up. Deal with it before it reaches a boiling point. Be mindful of what triggers your anger and set healthy boundaries with those who don’t bring out the best in you: “‘In your anger do not sin’ Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” (Ephesians 4:26, NIV)

3) Attack the problem, not the person. Talk to the person, not about them: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.” (Ephesians 4:29 & 31, NIV)

4) Don’t react on your first impulse or let your anger lead you. Pause and ask the Lord to show you a godly way to respond. De-escalate the tension instead of adding to it: “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32, NIV)

Cooling a hot temper is not accomplished overnight. But through prayer, Bible study, and reliance upon the Holy Spirit, ungodly anger can be overcome. Seek to glorify God and watch your thoughts and relationships change for the better.

Portions of this post were adapted from “What Does the Bible Say About Anger?” on got questions.org. Click here to view the full article.

This post was also inspired by Week 4 in Jen Wilkin’s God of Freedom, Lifeway Press 2022 and Tyler Scott’s sermon “Sermon on the Mount Part 4.” Click here to access the sermon.

Was this forwarded to you? Click here to submit your e-mail and subscribe. You’ll receive future posts automatically in your inbox.

Psalm 107: Redemption Stories

Sometimes I write to remind myself what’s true. It gives me hope when the world churns out bad news faster than I can process it. Whether it’s another mass shooting, a respected leader making a questionable decision, a brutal and unjust war, or a gut-wrenching situation with a friend or family member, there’s no shortage of news to send me into a downward spiral of angst.

Thankfully, the Bible includes plenty of examples of people experiencing difficult and sad situations. This week my devotional led me to Psalm 107, which gave me several relevant illustrations. Written by an unknown author, most scholars believe it was penned to celebrate the Jews’ return to Judah after being held captive in Babylon for 70 years. Their time in exile was God’s discipline for their disobedience following numerous warnings by different prophets. After being humbled in Babylon, the psalmist calls out God’s goodness and reminds us of the blessing of following His ways: “Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever. Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story—those he redeemed from the hand of the foe, those he gathered from the lands, from east and west, from north and south.”  (vs 1-3, NIV)

The psalmist continues by calling upon those who have been redeemed to praise the Lord and recount stories of His goodness. He includes examples of people who pleaded for God’s help and received His deliverance. Some were redeemed from problems of their own making; others were redeemed from circumstances beyond their control. In each case, their stories have something in common: those in distress were humble enough to ask God for help and to thank Him for their deliverance.

The first example describes people wandering in the wilderness who are lost and hungry: “They were hungry and thirsty, and their lives ebbed away. Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress.” (vs 5-6, NIV)

I see a modern parallel in this example. So many people in the world today seem to be wandering in the wilderness, trying to find meaning, identity, hope, and comfort apart from God. Author and pastor Paul David Tripp explains the result of these hollow endeavors: “Whenever you name something in creation as the thing that will satisfy you, you are asking that thing to be your personal savior…you are looking horizontally for what will only ever be yours vertically. In other words, you are asking something in creation to do for you what only God can do.”1

In contrast, the psalmist reminds us where to find true fulfillment: “Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for mankind, for he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.” (vs 8-9, NIV)

Next, the psalmist describes prisoners in bondage who had rebelled against God and despised His plans. Deep in their misery, they finally sought Him for help: “Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He brought them out of darkness, the utter darkness, and broke away their chains.” (vs 13-14, NIV)

There’s another modern parallel in our culture today. Have you noticed we’re repeatedly fed the lie that true freedom is found in doing whatever we want? Ultimately, as we distance ourselves from God’s ways and give in to our selfish desires, we discover we’re actually not free at all, but in bondage to sin. Only when we cry out to God and admit our need for Him do we find true freedom through Christ.

Next, the psalmist describes rebellious fools who suffer physically because of their sins: “They loathed all food and drew near the gates of death. Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He sent out his word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave.” (vs 18-20, NIV)

The people he describes harm themselves physically as a form of rebellion against God.2 I shudder to think of the many examples of this in our world today. Yet, God in His goodness remains ready and willing to save anyone who calls out to Him. He sent out His word to heal and rescue in the past, and still does it now.

Lastly the psalmist describes sailors at sea who witness the might of God’s creation and then seek His help in the midst of a storm: “Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he brought them out of their distress. He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed. They were glad when it grew calm, and he guided them to their desired haven.” (vs 28-30, NIV)

Storms in life may take us by surprise, but they don’t catch the Lord unaware. Sometimes we get angry at God during hard seasons and want to blame Him for our misfortune. We feel resentful, viewing pain and discomfort as “bad” instead of seeing them as normal parts of life.  If we’re honest, we often feel entitled to ease and comfort and get offended when we don’t have them. But storms in life have much to teach us about ourselves and God. They mature us, teach us to rely on Him, and lead us away from taking good things for granted. This perspective enables us to appreciate times of ease instead of expecting them.

The Bible includes these stories and examples so we can learn from them and, hopefully, not repeat the same mistakes the Israelites did. God is good and wants to share His goodness with us. He has plans for us that are good, so let’s take the advice of Psalm 107: “Let the one who is wise heed these things and ponder the loving deeds of the Lord.” (vs 43, NIV)

The ache we feel when upsetting events happen in the news or in our personal lives sometimes leads us to discouragement, anger, or hopelessness. When we feel this way, it’s important to remind ourselves of God’s sovereignty. We don’t know what the future holds, but we know Who holds the future. Let’s humbly remind each other of this truth on the days when the world feels especially hard, sad, or ugly.  Listen to “Reign Above It All” and let it give you a fresh perspective today. 

  1. David Paul Tripp, New Morning Mercies: A Daily Gospel Devotional, Crossway 2014, May 24 entry.
  2. Walvoord and Zuck, The Bible Knowledge Commentary, Victor Books 1985, 871.

Was this forwarded to you? Click here to submit your e-mail and subscribe. You’ll receive future posts automatically in your inbox.

Bold and Gentle

Weaving through the crowd on my way to class was always an adventure in college. As I walked through the heart of campus, people milling on the main pathway peppered passersby with a barrage of requests. They called out asking us to sign petitions, offering tickets to movie screenings, and handing out pamphlets espousing political agendas. Some of them were annoying or aggressive, others were intriguing. But there was one person that always made my heart hammer with anger and embarrassment when he visited campus. He would stand on a stairway to the side of the walkway holding a hand-made sign that read: “Sinners: Repent or burn in hell!” As if that wasn’t jarring enough, he would shout harsh judgements at us based on Bible verses taken out of context. There was never a trace of love in his words.

Sometimes students would stop and engage in animated conversations with him; often they escalated into shouting matches. For me, as a follower of Jesus trying to be a light on my dark campus, this man’s presence was devastating. I feared people who knew I was a believer would lump me in the same bucket with him and that any chance of sharing the gospel would be ruined. His boldness and passion to share his faith lacked the balance of love and grace.

I thought of the importance of that symmetry when I read Priscilla Shirer’s words this week: “BE UNASHAMED—public and bold in your allegiance to Him.”1 Being bold, public, and unashamed doesn’t imply that we have license to be rude or aggressive as we show allegiance to Jesus. Peter explains: “But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.” (1 Peter 3:15-16, NIV italics added) We need to engage others with respect no matter how strongly we disagree with their stances, especially in matters of faith. If we bait others or lash out with hurtful words, it’s unlikely they’ll be open to hearing anything we say. How we treat people matters as much as the words we say.

Imagine throwing a rubber ball against a wall. The harder you throw it, the more forcefully it bounces back at you. The same is true with our words. When our passionate feelings lead us to speak with anger, judgement, or harshness, it’s likely that’s what we’ll get in return. In the book of Romans, Paul tells us that God’s kindness is intended to lead to repentance (Romans 2:4). When we’re bold with our kindness to others, it’s more likely to soften the tone of their responses to us. It might even open the door for more genuine conversations about our faith.

In another one of his letters Paul says, “Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” (Colossians 4:5-6, NIV) We need to think carefully before we speak, text, or post comments about sensitive topics. “Our words should impact our conversations for the better as we bring a different ‘flavor’ to our interactions, build others up, and share as well as defend the gospel.”2 The world already has an atmosphere that’s divisive and contentious. It doesn’t need harsh words from Christians making things worse. It’s important to consider others’ perspectives and not to stoke bitterness or animosity on purpose. Sarcasm and insensitive humor often alienate and marginalize. So, let’s demonstrate allegiance to Christ in a manner that is empathetic and filled with grace. 

Strong opinions and feelings often stem from personal experiences. If someone riles you with a viewpoint that you know opposes Scripture, take a deep breath and pray instead of reacting immediately. Anger and harshness often cover pain and hurt. Instead of responding with indignation, take the wisdom of James to heart: “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” (James 1:19-20, NIV) 

Our world gravitates toward quick reactions and sharp retorts, but meaningful conversations that explore differing viewpoints rarely occur in this environment. It takes love, patience, and perseverance to show allegiance to Jesus in a way that will draw others to Him. 

If we want to be bold, we need to start by cultivating our relationship with the Holy Spirit “until His presence overflows in our actions, attitudes, and ambitions. His fruit and His gifts become outworked through our lives…His fire is what we need if we expect to live up to our calling and experience the freedom of serving others with selfless joy and real power.”3

What do others experience when they interact with you? What tone do you project as you speak, text, or post online? How do you treat people as you go about your day? Click here and listen to “Relate” by For King and Country and let it inspire you to be bold with your love but gentle and empathetic as you encounter those who think differently.

  1. Priscilla Shirer, Elijah, Lifeway Press, 2020, 175   
  2. GotQuestions.org, “Why are we told to ‘let your words be seasoned with salt’ (Colossians 4:6)?”
  3. Priscilla Shirer, Elijah, Lifeway Press, 2020, 183

Photo Credit: pixabay.com

Was this forwarded to you? Click here to submit your e-mail and subscribe. You’ll receive future posts automatically in your inbox.

The GOAT Part 6: Revenge and Enemies

You don’t have to search very hard to find songs, books, movies, and shows based on the theme of revenge. Plot lines about characters retaliating for wrongs committed against them are plentiful. Just do a quick internet search and you’ll find a variety of titles to entertain you and tutor you in the art of revenge.  It’s human nature to want to get even, but it’s not biblical. Jesus’ teaching in the Sermon on the Mount makes that clear:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.” (Matthew 5:38-42, NIV)

Jesus counters our natural desire to retaliate. This new interpretation of an Old Testament command separates the responsibility of the government to punish evildoers justly from our personal responsibility to love our enemies. We’re not called to seek retribution for personal slights and are told to ignore personal insults (that’s the meaning of “turn the other cheek”). One commentary explains, “Christians must be willing to give more of their material goods, time, and labor than required, even if the demands upon us are unjust. We should loan to those who want to borrow, love our enemies, and pray for those who persecute us. Enforcing ‘an eye for an eye’ is the magistrate’s job; forgiving our enemies is ours.”1

The commentary continues: “Jesus’ limiting of the ‘eye for an eye’ principle doesn’t prohibit self-defense or the forceful protection of the innocent from harm. The actions of duly appointed agents of the government, such as police officers and the military, to protect citizens and preserve the peace are not in question. Jesus’ command to turn the other cheek applies to personal relationships, not judicial policy. The principle of ‘an eye for an eye’ is meant as a judicial policy, not as a rule for interpersonal relationships.”2

Turning the other cheek also doesn’t imply pacifism. It’s simply a command to refrain from retaliation for personal offenses. Jesus wasn’t setting government foreign policy, just calling His followers not to worry about defending their personal “rights” or avenging their honor.3

The next portion of Jesus’ teaching is equally challenging:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor: and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” (Matthew 5:43-48, NIV)

When someone hurts us, our natural reaction is to protect ourselves and fight back, but Jesus calls us to a higher standard. He exemplified this by never retaliating when someone wronged Him, which happened many times. His own people rejected His message (John 1:11); religious leaders mocked and tried to trap Him (John 8:6); His family was ashamed of Him and tried to make Him stop preaching (Mark 3:21); His friends deserted Him when He needed them most (Mark 14:50); the city who had cried “Hosanna!” when He arrived on Palm Sunday shouted “Crucify Him!” a few days later (Mark 15:13). So, when Jesus said to pray for our enemies, He knew what He was talking about.

Jesus provided the perfect example when He was being nailed to a cross. In the middle of His agony, He cried out, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34, ESV). Jesus had compassion on the people who believed they were doing the right thing by killing Him. By pointing out that they didn’t know what they were doing, He showed us several important factors that reveal how to pray for our enemies:

1. Opening Spiritual Eyes: We can pray that God will open the eyes of their hearts that they will be enlightened about truth (Ephesians 1:18). When enemies set themselves against us, they lack understanding. They are reacting from the flesh instead of responding from the Spirit. We can pray that God will open the eyes of their hearts to see us and others through the lens of the Lord’s love and wisdom.

2. Repenting of Sin: As we struggle with our enemies, we can pray for their repentance. When we pray for our enemies to repent, we know our prayers are aligned with God’s will because He also desires their repentance (2 Peter 3:9).

3. Keeping a Soft Heart: When we pray for our enemies, we can ask that our hearts will remain soft. Perhaps the Lord wants to use us to accomplish His plan in the lives of our enemies. “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1, ESV). When we return anger for anger, wrong for wrong, we put ourselves on the same level as our enemies. But when we respond with kindness, gentleness, and mercy, the situation is often diffused. Nothing is more convicting than a gentle response to a hateful, rude action. It’s what turning the other cheek is all about. Satan desires discord, so he tries to stir up our fury and goads us to respond in kind. We should pray that God keeps our hearts soft toward those who offend us so that His goodness will be revealed to them through us.

4. Aligning with God’s Will: Jesus taught us to pray, “Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven” (Matthew 6:10, ESV). It is always right to ask that God’s will be done in any situation. We should pray that He’ll enable us to want what He wants. If He desires to bless our enemies, we want that, too. If He wants us to serve our enemies in some way, then that’s what we desire. Prayer is the aligning of our wills with God’s; when we pray for our enemies, we need to wrestle through our emotions until we truly want God’s best in their lives.

Praying for our enemies is not a natural response to their mistreatment of us. But remembering that we were once enemies of God ourselves, and that we are now His children should change our perspective. We can intercede for others who need the Lord’s help and guidance. Doing this keeps our own hearts free from bitterness (Hebrews 12:15). In praying for our enemies, we become more like Christ, and we keep ourselves aligned with God’s will, which is how we strive toward being perfect as He is perfect.4

Quotes and content of this post are a compilation of information from the following articles:

1. https://www.gotquestions.org/eye-for-an-eye.html

2. https://www.gotquestions.org/eye-for-an-eye.html

3. https://www.gotquestions.org/turn-other-cheek.html

4. https://www.gotquestions.org/pray-for-your-enemies.html

This post also complements the sermon by Ryan Suzuki at CPC Danville. Click here to watch.

The GOAT Part 4: Anger

It’s been a strange year for all of us. The pandemic and a variety of other challenges have wreaked havoc on our emotions. Although I’m usually calm and even-tempered, I’ve been surprised by the amount of anger I’ve felt this year. Most of my extreme feelings have been sparked by circumstances beyond my control, not specific people. However, I’ve often vented my anger on others in ways that they didn’t deserve.

I’ve had to pray through my anger many times in the past year. So, Jesus’ teaching on it in the Sermon on the Mount seems especially relevant right now:

“You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.” (Matthew 5:21-22, NIV)

Murder seems like a much bigger offense than anger, but Jesus shows us here that both come from the same root within us. Anger influences our feelings when we stew on it in our minds. Soon it reaches a boiling point and we overflow with resentment. If this pattern continues, our attitudes are flavored with bitterness and our relationships are tainted.

In His teaching on anger, Jesus gives several solutions we can use to keep ourselves in check and to prevent anger from taking over: “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.” (Matthew 5:23-24, NIV)

If you know you’re at odds with another person, seek reconciliation rather than avoiding them. In a modern context, “offering your gift at the altar”could be any activity for or with the Lord: praying, reading your Bible, making a financial donation, volunteering, serving, leading a Bible study, singing a worship song, attending church, etc. This teaching encourages us to reach out and make things right with others before engaging in spiritual activities. It echoes the prophet Samuel’s words to King Saul: “Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the Lord? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams.” (1 Samuel 15:22, NIV)

Jesus continues His teaching saying, “Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still together on the way, or your adversary may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. Truly I tell you, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny.” (Matthew 5:25-26, NIV)

Jesus’ point here is that we shouldn’t let animosity with another person remain unsettled or it will spill over and affect others. When hard feelings escalate and we include more people in the conflict, this magnifies the issue and causes a ripple effect. Think of a contentious divorce or a rift between close friends. When anger leads our decisions, many people get hurt. Is the emotional carnage really worth it in the end?

Scripture has many wise words on anger. If, like me, you’d like to grow in handling your anger biblically, try applying these principles next time your blood begins to boil:

1) Recognize and admit if you’re being prideful or handling your anger sinfully. Sometimes our anger is justified, sometimes it isn’t. Pause and ask yourself if your anger is something you need to process only in prayer or if you need to address it with the one who offended you. Confess it to God and to anyone who has been hurt by your anger: “Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.” (Proverbs 28:13, NIV)

2) Leave room for God’s wrath. This is especially important in cases of injustice, when people abuse those who are innocent.  The Lord is righteous and all-knowing; we can trust Him to act justly in His timing, not ours. We cannot control how others behave or respond, but we can make the changes needed on our part: “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.” (Romans 12:17-19, NIV)

3) Return good for evil. We can transform our feelings toward adversaries by empathizing with them as fellow humans. Recognize their brokenness instead of viewing them through the lens of anger: “On the contrary: ‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.’  Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:20-21, NIV)

When you’re ready to confront the one who stirred up your anger, keep these principles from the book of Ephesians in mind:

1) Be honest and explain what caused your anger. People cannot read our minds; we must speak the truth in love: “Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.”  (Ephesians 4:25, NIV)

2) Keep short accounts. Don’t be a peace-faker by avoiding your anger and letting it build up. Deal with it before it reaches a boiling point. Be mindful of what triggers your anger and set healthy boundaries with those who don’t bring out the best in you: “’In your anger do not sin’ Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” (Ephesians 4:26, NIV)

3) Attack the problem, not the person. Talk to the person, not about them: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.” (Ephesians 4:29 & 31, NIV)

4) Don’t react on your first impulse or let your anger lead you. Pause and ask the Lord to show you a godly way to respond. De-escalate the tension instead of adding to it: “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32, NIV)

Cooling a hot temper is not accomplished overnight. But through prayer, Bible study, and reliance upon the Holy Spirit, ungodly anger can be overcome. If, like me, you’ve allowed anger to lead you, why not join me in practicing healthier responses? Seek to glorify God and watch your thoughts and relationships change for the better.

Portions of this post were adapted from this article:

https://www.gotquestions.org/Bible-anger.html

This post was also inspired by Tyler Scott’s sermon at CPC Danville:

http://www.cpcdanville.org/ministries/worship-arts/media/the-goat–the-sermon-on-the-mount–part-4–message-on-demand/

More Like Jesus

Opening Megan Fate Marshman’s book Meant for Good: The Adventure of Trusting God & His Plans for You made me curious, but also skeptical. The cynical side of me wondered what more we could learn from two Bible passages that most Christians have heard many times: Jeremiah 29:11-13 and Romans 8:28-9. But as I delved further, I realized these Scriptures overflow with spiritual truth that we may miss at first glance.

You may be familiar with Jeremiah 29:11 since it’s often used to reassure people in times of uncertainty: “’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.’” (Jeremiah 29:11-13, NIV) 

This passage was originally written to Jewish people who had been living as exiles in Babylon. The Lord had allowed them to be carried into captivity as a consequence for their worship of idols and rebellion against Him. The hope-filled future this passage promises ties directly to the state of their hearts. As they turned back to the Lord, He would listen to them and they would be able to renew a genuine relationship with Him.

In the original Hebrew, the word “heart” describes “the most interior organ” and encompasses our minds and our inner being. Strong’s Concordance explains that the heart is the seat of desire, inclination, or will. It is also the well of emotions, knowledge, and wisdom. All of our thoughts, desires, words, and actions flow from the heart.  So, when we’re seeking God with all our hearts, our gaze is fixed steadily on Him. This is what the Lord wanted for His people when they were captives in Babylon, and it’s what He wants for us today.

Another oft-quoted verse that Megan covers in her book is Romans 8:28-9:

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.” (Romans 8:28-29, NIV)

Most of us know verse 28 well, however, reading verse 29 is essential to understanding the definition for “good” in this context. We often interpret it to mean easy, comfortable, pleasant, or favorable. For many of us, “good” is synonymous with getting what we want, when we want—or having events unfold according to our desires. However, in the original Greek, the word “good” describes that which is beneficial in its effect. One commentary explains “The things themselves may not be good, but God harmonizes them together for believers’ ultimate good, because His goal is to bring them to perfection in His presence. Even adversities and afflictions contribute to that end…this is a continuing activity of God. And His working is on behalf of ‘those who love Him,’ who are further identified as the ones who have been called according to His purpose.” 

According to Romans 8:29, the ultimate “good” in God’s purpose is for us to be more like Jesus. So, when we seek Him with all of our hearts, we trust that whatever events unfold will be used to transform us to be more like Jesus—not to make us comfortable or to make our lives easier or happier. 

At this point, you may be thinking this definition of “good” doesn’t sound very enticing. So, let me share a personal example to show how hard things can be good and can make us more like Jesus.

Three years ago, my eighty-three-year-old mom was living on her own in the house where I grew up. Her health was starting to slip, but she was stubborn and independent and had no interest in moving. Unfortunately, a series of medical issues landed her in the hospital. When she was released, she decided to move into an assisted living community near my home where she could maintain her freedom but have more support when she needed it.

Over the next two years, my mom and I found a rhythm. I managed her bills, her house, her medical appointments, and her care. I got to know her friends, her schedule, her habits, and her needs more intimately than I ever had before. My four siblings helped when they could, but the responsibility for my mom rested mostly on me. This made sense since I lived much closer than all of them. I tried hard to be gracious and understanding about my siblings’ busy lives and the many valid things that kept them from being involved more consistently. As time progressed, I even preferred handling most of my mom’s affairs on my own. It was easier and less complicated than having them opt in where and when they could. I didn’t see it at the time, but in hindsight I recognize that pride and resentment were beginning to build in me.

Two years later, when my mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and given months to live, my siblings all jumped to action, wanting to be involved and informed about every detail. They came to town often to be supportive and to spend as much time with our mom as possible. I welcomed and encouraged their involvement, but also felt some underlying anger. Suddenly I was managing my mom’s care while coordinating visiting schedules and trying to keep her house in order for them. I was feeling territorial and grasping for control amidst many disruptions in my life, but I didn’t see it at the time. Resentment was lurking beneath the surface, but I ignored it and acted like everything was fine. Still, my unacknowledged anger leaked out of me, robbing me of sleep and making me irritable and impatient with others. When I finally recognized what I was feeling, I started praying daily, asking God to take my thoughts captive and to make them obedient to Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:5) Over time, He answered those prayers, helping me to release my bitterness and resentment and to find grace and gratitude for my siblings’ presence and involvement.

 God worked through that hard season to refine me and to help me understand myself better. He conformed me to be just a bit more like Christ by exposing my pride and resentment and covering it with His grace. His goodness softened my heart and fostered healthier relationships in my family. There’s no doubt I’ll continue to grapple with those negative emotions at times. But I also know that as I seek Him, He will bring about His good purposes and continue making me more like Jesus.

The verses from Jeremiah and Romans highlighted in Meant for Good contain powerful and transformative truth. I’m excited to study them with you over the next six weeks. Let’s start by listening to Fernando Ortega’s “Lord, I Want to Be Like Jesus” and making it our prayer throughout this study.

  • Megan Fate Marshman, Meant for Good: The Adventure of Trusting God & His Plans for You, Zondervan, 2020.
  • Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible, Thomas Nelson Publishers, 2001.
  • John F. Walvoord and Roy B. Zuck, The Bible Knowledge Commentary, Victor Books, 1983, page 474.

Bad Story, Good Lessons

She was a young teenager, the only daughter among a crowd of sons. Living in a new place, she was curious about clothes, customs, and social events that were different from her family’s. Most likely she was also a little naïve, not considering the harm that could come to her by sneaking away to mix with new friends at a local festival.

He was accustomed to getting his way. As a young man of privilege, he probably carried a sense of entitlement. When he saw something he wanted, he took it and dealt with the consequences later. Maybe he knew his powerful father would follow behind him to clean up the mess. So when he saw the new girl in town, he didn’t think twice about pursuing her. Maybe it started out as a friendly flirtation, but it quickly escalated into something entirely different. No one had any idea how the collision of these two lives would forever change the city and the family who had come to live on its outskirts.

Sounds like the makings of a modern movie, doesn’t it? Actually, it’s the story of Jacob’s daughter, Dinah, and the prince of Shechem, as told in the book of Genesis (with a bit of creative license based on commentaries). It’s a sordid tale that makes us uncomfortable, but there are things we can learn if we’re willing to move past our squeamishness. Finding personal application in it reminds us that times have changed, but human nature has remained the same.

Dinah’s Downfall: “Now Dinah the daughter of Leah, whom she had borne to Jacob, went out to see the women of the land. And when Shechem the son of Hamor the Hivite, the prince of the land, saw her, he seized her and lay with her and humiliated her. And his soul was drawn to Dinah the daughter of Jacob. He loved the young woman and spoke tenderly to her. So Shechem spoke to his father Hamor, saying, ‘Get me this girl for my wife.’” (Genesis 34:1-3, NIV)

Scholars believe Dinah was a young adolescent, somewhere between the ages of 12 and 16. Naturally, she was curious and interested in developing her social life, as most teens would be. But her parents hadn’t equipped her with the wisdom to recognize the dangers of the outside world. No one explained how vulnerable she would be out on her own, even in a place that looked so inviting. In fact, no one seemed to be paying much attention to her until it was too late. 

It’s tempting to point the finger of blame at the family members who didn’t seem to value Dinah enough to watch out for her. But how often can we be guilty of the same today? Teenagers may look like adults who eagerly exert their independence, but we’re fooling ourselves if we think they know how to navigate the world entirely on their own (both online and in real life). Sheltering adolescents seems like a quick fix, but isn’t realistic or beneficial to them. Leaving them to their own devices isn’t the answer either. We need to find middle ground where we’re engaged in their lives and connecting with them consistently so we can earn their trust. Only then will they be open to receiving the truth and wisdom they need from adults to make wise choices. If you’re not parenting a teen, you still have opportunities to connect and pour into them in many ways—whether it’s as a grandparent, an aunt or uncle, a neighbor, a youth leader, a co-worker, a work supervisor, a teacher, a mentor, a coach, a tutor, or any other role that puts you in contact with this precious and vulnerable age group. (See below for helpful resources on understanding teens and their world).

Dinah’s Brothers Misuse God’s Covenant: “The sons of Jacob answered Shechem and his father Hamor deceitfully, because he had defiled their sister Dinah. They said to them, ‘We cannot do this thing, to give our sister to one who is uncircumcised, for that would be a disgrace to us. Only on this condition will we agree with you—that you will become as we are by every male among you being circumcised.  Then we will give our daughters to you, and we will take your daughters to ourselves, and we will dwell with you and become one people. But if you will not listen to us and be circumcised, then we will take our daughter, and we will be gone.’” (Genesis 34:13-17, NIV)

Jacob’s sons used the sacred sign of God’s covenant as a tool of manipulation. Insisting that all the men of the town be circumcised was a ruse for making them vulnerable to attack. Using anything God has given us to inflict harm on others has no place in the life of a believer. It’s dishonoring to Him and defiles the sacred things He’s given us. The Church has had many shameful seasons in history when hateful acts were committed in the name of the Lord. We shouldn’t use pressure or manipulation to force people into God’s ways. Our role is to plant seeds of faith, it’s the Holy Spirit who makes them grow and brings true life transformation.

Dinah’s Brothers Take Revenge: “And all who went out of the gate of his city listened to Hamor and his son Shechem, and every male was circumcised, all who went out of the gate of his city. On the third day, when they were sore, two of the sons of Jacob, Simeon and Levi, Dinah’s brothers, took their swords and came against the city while it felt secure and killed all the males. They killed Hamor and his son Shechem with the sword and took Dinah out of Shechem’s house and went away. The sons of Jacob came upon the slain and plundered the city, because they had defiled their sister.” (Genesis 34:24-27, NIV)

Simeon and Levi decided to stand up for their sister and take their revenge to a gruesome extreme. In the process, they ruined the lives of everyone in Shechem and made their family a stench in the land. What they did was so detestable that their father cursed them on his deathbed:

“Simeon and Levi are brothers—  their swords   are weapons of violence. Let me not enter their council, let me not join their assembly, for they have killed men in their anger and hamstrung oxen as they pleased. Cursed be their anger, so fierce, and their fury, so cruel! I will scatter them in Jacob and disperse them in Israel.” (Genesis 49:5-7, NIV)

Dinah’s brothers probably imagined how satisfying it would be to get revenge, but it backfired on them in the end.  When we’ve been wronged, Scripture instructs us not to give in to our thirst for revenge: “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord. On the contrary: ‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.’ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:17-21, NIV) Rather than bringing peace and contentment, revenge only escalates painful situations and perpetuates hate and violence. Trust God to handle vengeance and do your best to live at peace with everyone.

How I wish Dinah could have heard the words of “Rescue” by Lauren Daigle. Let the song comfort you and remind you of God’s attentiveness in whatever difficulties you’re facing. (Once you click below, a new window will open, then click “Watch on YouTube”).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MgkNB4939YM

Want more info on how to understand teens and their culture? Check out these resources:

Axis.org

Teenesteem.org

Chapclark.com

When Plans Reroute

I didn’t see it coming. With one swift move on the game board, my son thwarted my carefully constructed plans. We’d been playing the game Ticket to Ride and I had been quietly building my railway empire laying my black trains on tracks spanning from east to west. With each turn, I’d been amassing the cards I needed to connect cities between New York and Seattle. The route was obvious and the rail lines I needed had remained unclaimed for many rounds of play. It was a good sign that no one had drawn cards that would impede my progress. However, in one move, my son’s blue game pieces blocked my westward path in Helena, Montana.  

Despite my disappointment, I studied the game board carefully and discovered an alternate course I hadn’t considered. It was less direct and forced me to veer south to Salt Lake City, but would still enable me to link New York and Seattle on my fictional railway line. After a few more rounds of play, I successfully reached my destination, although the route looked much different than I’d planned.

Playing that game has been an illustration of my life in the past year. Time and time again I’ve anticipated plans moving in one direction only to have them rerouted. Family members have had illnesses and injuries that have caused major shifts in our routines and schedules, cars have broken down and created significant inconveniences, and ministry commitments have had unexpected and abrupt changes that have required continual flexibility.

While none of these life derailments has been catastrophic, each of them has had the potential to cause major discouragement and bitterness in me. Through a negative lens, I could tell you about many situations from the past year that have caused frustrations layered upon inconveniences compounded by heartbreak. However, choosing a negative focus would only  encourage me to have a sour attitude or to wallow in self-pity.

Think about it. Any time something doesn’t go according to our plans and we react negatively,  it’s because we think we’re being ripped off. We believe we deserve to get what we want. Really, this is veiled entitlement—the assumption that everything should go the way we prefer. And when our expectations aren’t met, we feel indignant, disillusioned, angry or bitter. The resulting behaviors are rudeness, impatience, self-absorption, and harsh treatment of others.

Most of us like control and when life goes according to plans, we assume we have it. But what if that control we thought we had was only an illusion? What if we learned to loosen our grasp on the need for control and to trust God when our plans get rerouted? What if we saw roadblocks as an inevitable part of life instead of an anomaly?

Like my train route on the game board, there are times when we are so singularly focused on getting from Point A to Point B that we can’t imagine any other way for something to work out. Yet when we’re open, flexible and willing to accept unexpected changes and interruptions, we leave room for God to teach us a few things along the way. This is how we grow.

Scripture emphasizes this idea: “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” (Proverbs 19:21, NIV) So when things don’t go according to plan, maybe instead of getting frazzled and upset, we’d be better off asking God to show us His purpose. Surely there is something we can learn from each rerouted journey we face.

Better still, we might consider including God in our plans and asking for His guidance and involvement from the start:

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.”  (James 4:13-15, NIV)

God reveals His will through His Word. When we’re continually studying it, applying it to our lives, and pursuing a relationship with Him, we can find peace knowing our plans align with His.  Keep in mind, this doesn’t mean things will always go smoothly. Life is messy. People are complicated. Things change. We can rail against this and throw a tantrum or learn to accept it and let God refine us through it. And when our plans do get rerouted, instead of getting upset, our first inclination can be to rest in the knowledge that God is still in control.

If you’re in a season of “rerouting,” be encouraged by Micah Tyler’s song “Even Then.”