Category: control

Trying Softer

My younger son’s birthday is right around the corner. Every year as the thermometers rise and we turn the page to August, I think of the summer I was pregnant with him. We had some extreme heat that year and when I was almost full-term, there were days I felt I was being crowded out of my own body. The heat and physical discomfort made me determined to go into labor, so I started taking brisk walks in hopes of kicking my body into gear. I’ll never forget leaving the house one evening while my husband stayed back to put our two-year-old to bed. Sitting beside our pajama-clad son as they waved goodbye at the window, my husband called out “Remember, you’re not going to walk that baby out! He’ll come when he’s ready.” I was determined to prove him wrong, but labor ended up starting days later at a time and place that was not what I would have chosen.

Trying hard makes us feel powerful—like we can force a specific outcome and make circumstances unfold in the timing want. Unfortunately, though, it often causes us to think our effort is the most important factor.

In both parenting and ministry, I’ve learned that trying softer leaves more room for God to work and enables relationships to stay healthier. Taking this posture looks more passive but actually diverts our energy towards prayer and reliance on the Holy Spirit. It invites God to work in His timing and according to His plans. Trying softer means trusting Him to produce the fruit of patience, gentleness, and self-control when we’re tempted to take matters into our own hands and act with impatience, harshness, and impulsivity (see Galatians 5:22). Let’s explore a couple of real life examples to see how this looks

One of the most humbling places I’ve learned about trying softer has been in my role as a mom. My husband and I had always assumed our kids would go to college. As a former high school teacher, I looked forward to helping my boys chart a path that would open opportunities for higher education. However, at the start of his sophomore year, one of my sons began balking at my suggestions. He wanted nothing to do with building a resumé of experiences to showcase on college applications. Positioning himself to earn academic and extracurricular honors wasn’t compelling to him. No matter how I much I reasoned with him, he refused to listen.

Underlying tension simmered between us for months until it boiled over one day when I was peppering him with yet another helpful, albeit unsolicited, suggestion. In exasperation, my son cut me off mid-sentence and snapped: “College is stupid and a waste of money.” Offended and frustrated, I held back from spewing out an emotional reaction. In that moment, I realized trying harder to persuade him would have divided us even further.

Later, after much prayer and discussion, my husband and I agreed to let our son chart his path forward; all talk of college ceased in our household. We held our tongues but continued to pray that God would lead him to discover his passions and pursue the path that was best for him. Although it was difficult, we let go of the notion that college was his only option and waited to see how his plans would unfold.

Two years later, as our son prepared to start his senior year, I summoned the courage to ask about his post-high school plans. To my surprise, he told me he was interested in college and asked if I would help him with the application process. He later admitted to me that the pressure I had put on him to build his resumé felt inauthentic—like I was trying to make him “show well” to impress others instead of letting his genuine interests reveal who he was. He felt like a commodity to which I was trying to add value. It was sobering and convicting to hear his perspective. That fall he applied to four schools, received acceptances to all of them, and ended up choosing a small Christian college I never would have considered for him. 

This past May, my son graduated from that school after four incredible years. He thrived and grew there intellectually, spiritually, and relationally. Never once did I see a grade he received, but we often talked about what he was learning there. He gained valuable insights studying abroad in far flung places like Egypt, Israel, and India. At graduation he wore a cord around his neck signifying he’d completed his degree cum laude. He hadn’t even bothered to tell my husband and me. By easing off, we’d let him navigate decisions, make mistakes, and take ownership of his education. Better still, the change in our approach improved our relationship in ways we hadn’t anticipated.

The wisdom I’ve gleaned about trying softer has also benefitted me in ministry. I love serving and leading, but sometimes my enthusiasm creates a false sense of urgency. My desire to implement a vision and move plans forward can be on a timetable that’s a bit too aggressive. Trying harder to push my agenda or timeline often leads to hasty decisions, hard feelings, and frustrating interactions. 

After several missteps, I’ve learned the value of trying softer by pausing to pray and to give others time to do the same. Planning, serving, and leading in ministry without seeking God first is the opposite of abiding with Jesus. We can do nothing of spiritual significance on our own wisdom and strength. That’s what Jesus means when He says, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5, NIV)

Just like with my son, patience, gentleness and self-control have helped me to try softer and have given the Lord room to work. Instead of pressuring people to make a decision, say yes to serving, or provide information I need, I’ve learned to give them time to respond thoughtfully. Treating others gently frees them to say “yes” or “no” with joy instead of guilt. Relying on the Holy Spirit’s guidance as I lead has created meaningful ministry bonds, lasting friendships, and zero drama.

Where are you tempted to try harder to force your agenda? How might trying softer increase your trust in God and improve your relationships? Consider praying and asking the Lord to show you one place in your life where you need more patience, gentleness, and self-control. Abide in Him and watch the fruit He bears through you.

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When Interruptions Become Opportunities

Before the time of streaming entertainment on demand, I remember watching good old-fashioned network TV as a child. My family would crowd onto the couch together on specific nights to enjoy a few shows. Once in a while the broadcast would cut to a somber news anchor announcing: “We interrupt this broadcast to bring you a special report.” The information often detailed a major event like a natural disaster, an emergency situation, or the death of someone important. After delivering the news, the anchor would say, “And now, back to your regularly scheduled programming.” 

As I’ve thought about serving in various ministries over the past few years, I’ve been pondering times when there have been interruptions to my “regularly scheduled programming.” I’m not proud to admit it, but for a long time, I viewed these interruptions as irritants that were getting in the way of “real” ministry. They felt like distractions hindering me from accomplishing the tasks needed to put on programs. 

At some point, the Lord helped me to recognize that those interruptions were actually part of His plan. They were opportunities to walk alongside others and help them grow as followers of Jesus. At the same time, they provided experiences that softened some of my sharp edges and helped me to have more compassion and empathy. I started to see that prioritizing people over programs actually led to healthier relationships and meaningful spiritual growth. Interruptions were opportunities to mentor people and care for them. They were chances to guide them toward wisdom found in God’s Word and to recognize its relevance in their situations. Instead of rushing past interruptions, I began realizing the value of pausing to engage them. Here are a few ways God has used them with me:

-Circling Back: Sometimes in a meeting or small group issues arise that need one-on-one attention. When I’ve sensed that someone seems to be struggling, I’ve tried to follow up and connect outside our group or team meetings. Sometimes people just need to feel seen and heard. At other times they need encouragement, affirmation, or clarification. Heeding the Holy Spirit’s prompting and making time to check in with someone separately opens the door for God to work in and through us.

-Discipling through Conflict: Anytime we work or serve with people, conflicts arise at some point. Pretending they don’t exist usually just creates awkward interactions that lack authenticity. Addressing conflict through healthy communication opens opportunities for everyone to unpack misunderstandings and identify false assumptions. Perhaps someone needs to learn an applicable truth in Scripture. Maybe there’s an opportunity for spiritual refining or character development. Perhaps there’s a chance for someone to be convicted by sin or to recognize a blind spot. If we lean into awkward situations and seek better understanding, we’re creating opportunities to help ourselves and others mature spiritually and personally.

-Giving Permission to Pause: There are times when someone’s personal struggles may interrupt ministry programming. When a key member of a team I led lost her husband, we rallied around her to provide support. We were in the throes of launching into a new year and she didn’t want to leave us hanging, but we knew the best way to love her was to give her time away from serving. When personal hardship strikes a team member, the first priority needs to be showing love and compassion before worrying about how program logistics will be impacted. The interruption provides a beautiful opportunity to love someone when they’re hurting by giving them the time they need to heal.

There’s a story in Matthew’s gospel when an interruption leads to a powerful moment of ministry. Jesus travels by boat with His disciples to a solitary place. They are grieving the death of John the Baptist and seeking respite. However, “When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick.” Concerned about practical matters, the disciples approach Jesus as evening draws near and say, “This is a remote place, and it’s already getting late. Send the crowds away, so they can go to the villages and buy themselves some food.” Instead of agreeing with their suggestion, Jesus replies, “They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat.” (Matt 14:14,15b,16, NIV)

Maybe you remember what happens next: Jesus takes five small loaves of bread and two fish, gives thanks to God and then feeds five thousand men, plus women and children. Not only does everyone eat their fill, but the disciples collect twelve baskets filled with leftovers.

Consider how differently Jesus and His disciples view interruptions. He seems to be the master of pivoting and adapting to new situations. Rather than being annoyed by the crowds greeting His boat, Jesus has compassion on them. Instead of dismissing them and sticking with His original plan, He ministers to them. When the disciples urge Him to send people away to find food, Jesus uses it as an opportunity to grow their trust in Him as the ultimate Provider. The interruptions become moments of ministry and revelation.

When we slow down and engage them, interruptions can become significant catalysts for ministering to others. What’s your usual response when they occur in your “regularly scheduled program”? Whether it’s in ministry, at home, at work, or somewhere else, there’s always an opportunity to grow in how you handle them. If you’re prone to anger, annoyance, impatience, or irritability when interruptions occur, consider praying and inviting the Lord to show how you can honor Him more in your response. You’ll discover joy on the journey and will bless others in the process.

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Let it Unfold

It’s been almost a year since God answered an angsty prayer by speaking to me in a dream. I’d found myself in a familiar situation—coordinating logistics for my family’s schedule and feeling frustrated that everyone wasn’t in sync. A tense conversation with one of my kids hadn’t ended well and I’d gone to bed discouraged. After tossing and turning for several hours, I fell into a fitful sleep while my brain continued to process a solution to our stalemate. 

My son’s lack of willingness to adjust to my plan was going to cost time and money as well as causing great inconvenience. Before falling asleep, I’d been weighing the different approaches I could use to get him to see the situation from my perspective. Exhausted, I eventually drifted off to sleep when, just before waking, calming words in a dream filled me with peace. I don’t think I heard the Lord audibly, but His message was clear: “Let it unfold.”

Pulling back the covers in the dawn light, I chose to trust God’s gentle voice as I anticipated the day ahead. Instead of trying to convince my son to get on board with my logistically “superior” plan, I held off and opted to let events unfold without intervening. A few months later, when the plans came to fruition, I understood what the Lord had been doing. The plan that, in my mind, had seemed illogical and inconvenient actually turned out to be God’s provision—a needed respite in an unexpected season of intensity in our family.

I view time as a precious commodity and see efficiency as the key to prevent wasting it. There’s nothing I love more than a well-crafted plan that works out exactly as I expect. But in the past year, the Lord has reminded me again and again of that phrase He gave me last summer: “Let it unfold.” When I’m tempted to speak up and step in to fix, suggest, or point out a better way to do something, I’m learning to pause and pray first. In my attempts to help others or improve situations, my proactivity can short-circuit the learning process for someone else. Worse still, it can squelch the Holy Spirit from moving or speaking.

We live in a fast-paced world and most of us don’t believe we have time to slow down and let things unfold, but that’s not the way of Jesus. When I’m tempted to rush or to force my plan on someone else, I’m reminded that Jesus was never in a hurry. He never rushed. Likewise, God never forces Himself or His plans on us. He waits patiently and delights when we choose to follow His ways instead of ours. I love how Jesus says this in The Message (a contemporary language paraphrase of the Bible): 

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

Learning to “let it unfold” has been an exercise in restraint for the past year. But as I’ve held back and waited longer than I would have preferred, I’ve watched the Lord move and have witnessed His “unforced rhythms of grace” more times than I can count. Sometimes it’s with one of my adult kids, other times, it’s been with extended family, or people I serve with or lead in ministry. Letting things unfold has helped me avoid unneeded tension with others that often comes with unsolicited advice, unwelcome opinions, and forced decisions. The Lord has shed light on pride that leads me to see my way of doing things as “best.” He’s humbled me and helped me to recognize the beauty of letting others learn through experience instead of being subjected to my “helpful” suggestions. I’m still growing in patience but am seeing the positive results of trusting His timing instead of acting on my impulses. 

What about you? Are you ever tempted to intervene and fast track the learning process for someone else? Do you sometimes want to help others see the value of your perspectives or opinions whether they’re ready to listen or not? Are you quick to offer a suggestion or observation before inviting the Holy Spirit to intercede? Letting things unfold doesn’t mean doing nothing, but it does mean pausing to pray. Sometimes the Lord may prompt you to speak up or step in; at other times He’ll guide you to hold off and wait. Seeking His guidance enables you to be confident that you’re relying on God’s wisdom instead of your knee-jerk response.

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The Scenic Route

I didn’t see it coming. With one swift move on the game board, my son thwarted my carefully constructed plans. We’d been playing the game Ticket to Ride and I had been quietly building my railway empire laying my black trains on tracks spanning from east to west. With each turn, I’d been amassing the cards I needed to connect cities between New York and Seattle. The route was obvious and the rail lines I needed had remained unclaimed for many rounds of play. However, in one move, my son’s blue game pieces blocked my westward path in Helena, Montana.  

Despite my disappointment, I studied the game board carefully and discovered an alternate course I hadn’t considered. It was less direct and forced me to veer south to Salt Lake City but would still enable me to link New York and Seattle on my fictional railway line. After a few more rounds of play, I successfully reached my destination, although the route was more circuitous than I’d planned.

Like my train tracks on the game board, there are times when we are so singularly focused on getting from Point A to Point B that we can’t imagine any other way for plans to unfold. Yet when we’re willing to accept unexpected changes and interruptions, we leave room for God to teach us, reveal Himself to us, and protect us. The Bible includes many stories of people who experience God’s divine re-routing. One example of this occurs when the Israelites leave Egypt after the tenth plague: “When Pharaoh let the people go, God did not lead them on the road through the Philistine country, though that was shorter. For God said, ‘If they face war, they might change their minds and return to Egypt.’ So God led the people around by the desert road toward the Red Sea.”  (Exodus 13:17-18, NIV)

Following the Lord’s “scenic route” protects the Israelites from war while fleeing Egypt after the first Passover. With the Red Sea in front of them and Pharaoh’s army in hot pursuit behind them, the Israelites reach a seeming dead end. However, this obstacle allows them to experience one of the most miraculous events in Scripture: “Then Moses stretched out his hand over the sea, and all that night the Lord drove the sea back with a strong east wind and turned it into dry land. The waters were divided, and the Israelites went through the sea on dry ground, with a wall of water on their right and on their left.” (Exodus 14:21-22, NIV) After passing safely through the waters, they witness the Lord’s power again as the sea closes behind them, engulfing Egyptian chariots and horsemen: “And when the Israelites saw the mighty hand of the Lord displayed against the Egyptians, the people feared the Lord and put their trust in him and in Moses his servant.”(Exodus 14:31, NIV)

If their trip had simply gone from Egypt to the Promised Land without incident, the Jews would have missed seeing these incredible wonders. The parting of the Red Sea illustrates such a powerful example of God’s miraculous provision and protection that it’s mentioned in the biblical books of Joshua, Psalms, Isaiah and First Corinthians. This singular event has encouraged and strengthened believers for thousands of years.

Once the Israelites pass safely through the waters, they join Moses in exalting the Lord: “Who among the gods is like you, Lord? Who is like you—majestic in holiness, awesome in glory, working wonders?” (Ex 15:11, NIV) As they praise God, their hope in the future and their trust in Him also increase: “In your unfailing love you will lead the people you have redeemed. In your strength you will guide them to your holy dwelling.” (Exodus 15:13, NIV) Because the Israelites witness God’s mighty hand, they gain a deeper understanding of His character and approach Him with renewed awe.

I wonder what we miss when we lament the “scenic route” instead of looking for where the Lord is at work. When life doesn’t go according to our plans and we feel indignant, disillusioned, angry, or bitter, we close ourselves off to seeing God’s power at work. What if we learned to loosen our grasp on the need for control and to trust God when our plans got rerouted? What if we saw alternate paths as opportunities to see the Lord’s hand move? What if, instead of bemoaning the “scenic route,” we prayed with hopeful expectation while trusting God’s leading?

I’m a born planner and feel great satisfaction when events unfold predictably, but I’m learning to embrace unexpected course changes. Detours in my life have caused frustration, inconvenience, and heartbreak for me many times. However, I can see also the Lord’s hand in them. I feel grateful for the ways they’ve deepened my faith, grown my wisdom, and increased my understanding of God’s goodness.

With the wrong perspective, traveling on the “scenic route” has the potential to cause major discouragement. But if we choose to trust the Lord, it can also provide incredible opportunities to witness His power and to grow in faith. 

What’s your response when the Lord leads you on the “scenic route”? Will you relinquish your need for control and let Him reveal Himself and His glory to you? 

Click here and enjoy a contemporary version the Israelites’ song of praise “Who is Like God.” Although there are no lyrics included, you can open your Bible and read along from Exodus 15:11 & 13. 

Post inspired by Jen Wilkin’s God of Deliverance: A Study of Exodus 1-18, Lifeway Press, 2021.

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Psalm 107: Redemption Stories

Sometimes I write to remind myself what’s true. It gives me hope when the world churns out bad news faster than I can process it. Whether it’s another mass shooting, a respected leader making a questionable decision, a brutal and unjust war, or a gut-wrenching situation with a friend or family member, there’s no shortage of news to send me into a downward spiral of angst.

Thankfully, the Bible includes plenty of examples of people experiencing difficult and sad situations. This week my devotional led me to Psalm 107, which gave me several relevant illustrations. Written by an unknown author, most scholars believe it was penned to celebrate the Jews’ return to Judah after being held captive in Babylon for 70 years. Their time in exile was God’s discipline for their disobedience following numerous warnings by different prophets. After being humbled in Babylon, the psalmist calls out God’s goodness and reminds us of the blessing of following His ways: “Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever. Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story—those he redeemed from the hand of the foe, those he gathered from the lands, from east and west, from north and south.”  (vs 1-3, NIV)

The psalmist continues by calling upon those who have been redeemed to praise the Lord and recount stories of His goodness. He includes examples of people who pleaded for God’s help and received His deliverance. Some were redeemed from problems of their own making; others were redeemed from circumstances beyond their control. In each case, their stories have something in common: those in distress were humble enough to ask God for help and to thank Him for their deliverance.

The first example describes people wandering in the wilderness who are lost and hungry: “They were hungry and thirsty, and their lives ebbed away. Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress.” (vs 5-6, NIV)

I see a modern parallel in this example. So many people in the world today seem to be wandering in the wilderness, trying to find meaning, identity, hope, and comfort apart from God. Author and pastor Paul David Tripp explains the result of these hollow endeavors: “Whenever you name something in creation as the thing that will satisfy you, you are asking that thing to be your personal savior…you are looking horizontally for what will only ever be yours vertically. In other words, you are asking something in creation to do for you what only God can do.”1

In contrast, the psalmist reminds us where to find true fulfillment: “Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for mankind, for he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.” (vs 8-9, NIV)

Next, the psalmist describes prisoners in bondage who had rebelled against God and despised His plans. Deep in their misery, they finally sought Him for help: “Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He brought them out of darkness, the utter darkness, and broke away their chains.” (vs 13-14, NIV)

There’s another modern parallel in our culture today. Have you noticed we’re repeatedly fed the lie that true freedom is found in doing whatever we want? Ultimately, as we distance ourselves from God’s ways and give in to our selfish desires, we discover we’re actually not free at all, but in bondage to sin. Only when we cry out to God and admit our need for Him do we find true freedom through Christ.

Next, the psalmist describes rebellious fools who suffer physically because of their sins: “They loathed all food and drew near the gates of death. Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He sent out his word and healed them; he rescued them from the grave.” (vs 18-20, NIV)

The people he describes harm themselves physically as a form of rebellion against God.2 I shudder to think of the many examples of this in our world today. Yet, God in His goodness remains ready and willing to save anyone who calls out to Him. He sent out His word to heal and rescue in the past, and still does it now.

Lastly the psalmist describes sailors at sea who witness the might of God’s creation and then seek His help in the midst of a storm: “Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and he brought them out of their distress. He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed. They were glad when it grew calm, and he guided them to their desired haven.” (vs 28-30, NIV)

Storms in life may take us by surprise, but they don’t catch the Lord unaware. Sometimes we get angry at God during hard seasons and want to blame Him for our misfortune. We feel resentful, viewing pain and discomfort as “bad” instead of seeing them as normal parts of life.  If we’re honest, we often feel entitled to ease and comfort and get offended when we don’t have them. But storms in life have much to teach us about ourselves and God. They mature us, teach us to rely on Him, and lead us away from taking good things for granted. This perspective enables us to appreciate times of ease instead of expecting them.

The Bible includes these stories and examples so we can learn from them and, hopefully, not repeat the same mistakes the Israelites did. God is good and wants to share His goodness with us. He has plans for us that are good, so let’s take the advice of Psalm 107: “Let the one who is wise heed these things and ponder the loving deeds of the Lord.” (vs 43, NIV)

The ache we feel when upsetting events happen in the news or in our personal lives sometimes leads us to discouragement, anger, or hopelessness. When we feel this way, it’s important to remind ourselves of God’s sovereignty. We don’t know what the future holds, but we know Who holds the future. Let’s humbly remind each other of this truth on the days when the world feels especially hard, sad, or ugly.  Listen to “Reign Above It All” and let it give you a fresh perspective today. 

  1. David Paul Tripp, New Morning Mercies: A Daily Gospel Devotional, Crossway 2014, May 24 entry.
  2. Walvoord and Zuck, The Bible Knowledge Commentary, Victor Books 1985, 871.

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Stop the Frenzy 

Reading aloud to my sons was one of my favorite activities when they were little. It was a sweet way for us to slow down and enjoy time together with undivided attention. One of my boys’ favorite books was Jennifer and Josephine by Bill Peet. Completing a portion of Priscilla Shirer’s Elijah Bible study entitled “Stop the Frenzy” reminded me of it recently.

The opening scene depicts a junkyard with a rusted-out car named Jennifer. A stray cat named Josephine spends her days lounging in Jennifer’s backseat. Then, one day, the sleeping cat unwittingly becomes a stowaway when a traveling salesman buys Jennifer.

After riding in the backseat for a few miles, Josephine nicknames the salesman “Mr. Frenzy,” highlighting his constant rush to get from one place to the next. She describes him as a pushy, rude bully who drives Jennifer quickly and carelessly over winding country roads. Mr. Frenzy takes one risk after another, not heeding other drivers or the property that he destroys along the way.1

Mr. Frenzy’s frantic demeanor seems to echo Priscilla Shirer’s comments about the prophets of Baal in her Elijah Bible study: “A frenzied life is not a faith-filled life. Whether it’s God’s people not staying firmly tied to Him, or godless people tying their hopes to godless pursuits, it invariably leads to an empty, hollow, unsatisfying conclusion, even after all the time and energy, after all that work and effort.”2

There are times when I could be nicknamed “Mrs. Frenzy.” As I cram more into my schedule, I’m less sensitive to those around me. Leaving no margin in my time causes me to be thoughtless, impatient, and irritable. Anything that stands in the way of accomplishing my agenda becomes an annoying obstacle. (And being fueled by caffeine only exacerbates the situation.) In my frenzied state, I’m not open to being interrupted by people who need my help or attention. And most important of all, my frantic pace causes me to feel impatient even when I’m trying to spend time with God.

Have you ever felt that way? For me, it’s a warning sign that I need to slow down and seek the Lord first before jumping into a frenzied day. As I pump the brakes and refocus on Him, He puts everything back into the right perspective. I accomplish exactly what I need to do and discover that some tasks that felt urgent really weren’t. I guess that’s a picture of Jesus’ words:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30, NIV)   I love how the Message version paraphrases the last part: “Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”3

The “yoke” Jesus mentions is a tool used for plowing a field. It is a curved piece of wood with two slots fitted over a pair of oxen. Imagine how unbalanced it would be to have one animal trying to carry a yoke meant for two. Similarly, when we try to carry our burdens on our own, we feel weary and beaten down. The added weight often causes us to feel frenzied and overwhelmed. However, when we yoke ourselves to Jesus, He gives us the strength we need because we are walking in step with Him. There is no need to be frantic when the Maker of the earth and stars walks beside us and shares the load.

One of my favorite verses sums it up: “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” (Psalm 46:10, NIV) Another translation says: “Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” (NASB- italics added for emphasis) Our striving is a vain attempt to be in control of our lives that depletes and exhausts us. When we stop our frantic activity to be still, God reminds us He is Lord and we are not. Quieting our souls prompts us to return God to His proper place in our lives.

You can’t put gas in a car while it’s running. Similarly, it’s difficult to let the Holy Spirit fill you when you’re constantly on the go. Stopping to let Him rejuvenate and refresh you gives you a new perspective and enables you to be a restful presence for others.

Priscilla Shirer encourages us: “You have not been called to an exhausting spiritual life—wavering, weaving, overworking, selfishly wanting. You are His beloved [child]. Heir to a great inheritance. You can live in settled confidence. You can adjust from folly to faith. You can apply the hard-learned lessons of the process and rest in His sure provision.”4

Writing this was a convicting reminder for me. If you feel the same, then consider praying something like this: Lord, I confess that I can be like those frenzied idol worshipers Elijah mocked on Mt. Carmel. I want to repent of the areas where I’ve stopped trusting You and have traded faith for doubt, panic, and fear. Please empower me with your Spirit so that I can live in a way that’s clearly distinct from those who don’t know You. Remind me of the favor and approval I can claim because of my relationship with You through Jesus. Teach me to rest and live in step with the rhythm of your grace. In Jesus name, amen.

Slow down and let Johnny Diaz’s song “Breathe” help you gain perspective on your frenzied life. Click here to listen.

  1. Bill Peet, Jennifer and Josephine, Houghton Mifflin, 1967.
  2. Priscilla Shirer, Elijah, Lifeway Press, 2020, 145.
  3. Eugene H. Peterson, The Message, Copyright © 1993, 2002, 2018.
  4. Priscilla Shirer, Elijah, Lifeway Press, 2020, 147.

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The GOAT Part 9: Worry

A few years ago, my son started describing me as a “stressy” person. He’s always had a knack for making observations that are both funny and piercingly accurate. It’s true: I’m prone to worry and I like being in control. Ironically, I’ve written twenty-seven blogs about anxiety and fourteen about fear in the last several years. So, it’s not like I haven’t studied this topic in the Bible—I just have a hard time applying it to my daily life. Does anyone else relate?

As we continue our journey through Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, I was treading a familiar path when I came to this portion:

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 3If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6:25-34, NIV)

This passage reassures and reminds us that we don’t need to worry because the Lord will meet all our needs. That said, it’s challenging to live like we believe it’s true. So, when I discovered a sermon by pastor John Mark Comer called “Becoming a Non-Anxious Presence,” I wanted to share his practical, biblical wisdom with you.

Comer examines five key practices that create a sense of peace within us that affects those around us. After reading all five, consider exploring them further by clicking the links on each topic.

1. Slowing: Jesus’ pace of life was unhurried. He allowed plenty of margin for interruptions and used them as opportunities to bless and minister to others. The frantic pace of our lives is a significant factor contributing to our high levels of anxiety today. If packing your schedule and rushing from one thing to the next is your normal way of functioning, this may be making you anxious and creating a ripple effect on those around you. To read more on this topic, check out this post on the benefits of slowing down: Frenzy is Not Your Friend 

2. Sabbath Rest: Jesus had a regular rhythm of retreating from people to pray and rest and then returning to connect and serve. Luke’s gospel tells us He often withdrew to lonely places to be rejuvenated spending time with His Father (Luke 5:16). Comer explains that how well we rest determines how well we work. Taking time to stop, reconnect with the Father, and re-charge our souls is crucial for keeping anxiety at bay. To learn more about the importance of Sabbath rest, check out my blog “Under-Sabbathed.” 

3. Koininia: This Greek word describes a relational bond between people who are kindred spirits. It’s fellowship and community centered around pursuing Jesus together. We need deep, honest, authentic friendships rooted in Christ. Making time regularly to study God’s Word, pray, serve, and share life with others is an important element for maintaining a sense of peace and well-being. To read more about the importance of koininia, check out my post “Knit Together.”

4. Contemplative Prayer: Resting in the Father’s love and relaxing into His goodness help us to realign with what really matters. Prayer is about experiencing the presence of God. Going beyond learning about Him or hearing others talk about Him, it connects us to Him personally. Time with the Lord also grounds us so we become less overwhelmed, less reactive, and more thoughtful when we jump back into the fray. We engage people and situations with a different perspective after spending time in prayer. Want to learn more? Check out my post “Why Prayer Matters.” 

5. Indifference/ Freedom: There’s little in this life we can truly control. (Sorry, I know that isn’t a fun reminder.)  When we yield to God and trust Him with our lives, we experience the freedom to stop trying to force people and events to meet our expectations. Following Jesus and seeking Him first allows us to discover joy and peace that aren’t dependent upon circumstances going according to plan. We become indifferent to the outcomes of situations not because we don’t care, but because we know God is sovereign and trustworthy. This doesn’t guarantee a perfect or easy life, but it reassures us of the Lord’s presence and reminds us that He works all things for good according to His purposes, not ours (John 16:33 and Romans 8:28). Want to learn more? Check out my post “Stopping the Spiral of Anxiety.” 

I wish I could say I’ve mastered the art of being a non-anxious presence, but I’m a work in progress. Two of the five practices come easily for me. The others are a challenge. What about you? Will you join me in asking the Lord to help you grow where you need it? We may never achieve it fully on this side of heaven, but every day is another chance to ask the Holy Spirit to help us move forward on the journey of corralling our anxious thoughts and trusting Jesus instead.

Comer points out that when fear and anxiety are running our lives, love is repressed. Not being anxious improves our sense of well-being and allows us to express God’s love and grace to others more freely. And isn’t that what our world desperately needs right now?

The key to beating worry is seeking God’s kingdom first. Let Lauren Daigle’s song “First” reinforce this powerful truth. Click here to watch.

Content for this post came from John Mark Comer’s sermon “Becoming a Non-Anxious Presence.” Click here to watch.

You may also want to check out John Mark Comer’s fantastic book: The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry.

Post inspired by the GOAT sermon series at CPC Danville. www.cpcdanville.org.

Why Prayer Matters

What is the purpose of prayer? I know, that’s a big question with a lot of different answers. Many of us see it as a way to ask God for what we want or need: healing for a loved one, a solution to a big problem, or a positive outcome for a challenging circumstance. So, when we get what the desired result, we say our prayers “worked” and that God is good. The challenge comes when God keeps us waiting or gives us a different answer–which can lead us to become confused, angry, or disillusioned. 

Megan Fate Marshman offers a different perspective on prayer. She describes it as “connecting with the one who loves you most.” (page 79) I agree with her– prayer isn’t only about asking God for what we want but about cultivating a relationship with Him. This is also what Jeremiah describes when he writes from God’s perspective saying: “Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:12-13, NIV)

Prayer is so much more than just a tool for making requests of God or a last resort when we’ve run out of all other options. Over the years, I’ve discovered many truths about it through consistent practice and study. It’s changed me and caused my faith in God to grow deeper and wider.  Prayer is more powerful than most of us realize. Today I’ll share just three of the many reasons why:

Prayer Invites God Into our Circumstances: Psalm 139 tells us that God perceives our thoughts and knows what we’re going to say before we speak. Some would argue that there’s no reason to talk to the Lord since He already knows everything about us. However, the purpose of prayer isn’t to inform God of our circumstances; it’s to invite Him into them. Prayer opens the lines of communication between God and you, just as you talk regularly with people you love. It gives the Lord permission to speak into our lives and to share His wisdom. Often, prayer changes our hearts more than it changes our circumstances. 

That’s exactly what we see at the end of Psalm 139 when David says: “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (Psalm 139:23-24, NIV)

Prayer is the Healthiest Way to Manage Fear and Worry: Anxiety is on the rise in our culture. Many of us feel a constant undercurrent of fear and worry at all times. We try to control our surroundings, our circumstances, our plans, and our relationships as a way to stave off those panicky feelings. Our minds churn over worst-case scenarios and “what-ifs” that fill us with dread. The irony is, all the time we spend worrying and fretting does nothing to change our circumstances. It wastes our energy, overwhelms our thoughts, and steals our joy–preventing us from living life to the fullest. In contrast, taking all that angst and laying it before God frees us to trust Him and to expend mental energy in more meaningful and productive ways. No one says it better than the Apostle Paul:

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.” (Philippians 4:6-9, NIV)

Prayer Lets Us Take Action When We Feel Powerless: When circumstances unfold the way we want or expect, we have the illusion that we’re in control, which makes us feel powerful. But here’s the harsh truth: There are few things we can actually control beyond our reactions. When we realize this and accept our humble position, we give God more opportunity to work in our lives. As we recognize that only the Lord is sovereign and in control, we can trust His power.

One of my favorite examples of this is the prayer of a lesser-known king in the Bible named Jehoshaphat. When he learns that three enemy armies have combined forces to invade Israel, he gathers his people and prays humbly before the Lord: 

“Our God, will you not judge them? For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.” (2 Chronicles 20:12, NIV)

Isn’t it amazing that the most powerful man in Israel admitted that he didn’t know what to do in front of all his subjects? The Lord answered Jehoshaphat’s prayers by delivering their nation from enemy attack. Through miraculous circumstances, they faced their opponents and experienced victory without spilling a drop of Israelite blood.

How freeing it is to accept our frailty and weakness and to recognize humbly that we have no power on our own. Acknowledging we don’t have control and looking to God to rescue us gives us access to true power from the One who loves us most of all.

Truth be told, I have so many thoughts about prayer that it was hard to write so little in this post. In fact, I’ve spent the last year studying and writing about it. So, if this is a practice you’d like to explore further, I’d be honored to have you consider my new Bible study Extraordinary Prayer: Using God’s Word to Expand Your Prayer Life. (The story of Jehoshaphat is just one of the many you’ll discover in it.) You can find it on my website under the “Book Table” tab or on Amazon.

Phil Wickham’s “Battle Belongs” is an incredible song filled with Scripture that reveals the power we have through prayer. Listen and celebrate this incredible truth today.

Megan Fate Marshman, Meant for Good: The Adventure of Trusting God and His Plans for You, Zondervan, 2020.

Through the Valley

Of all the headlines I’ve read related to COVID-19 in the last week, one stood out most: “The loneliness of death in the time of coronavirus.” The story described the agonizing final days of an elderly man’s life. Because he was infected with coronavirus, his daughter was barred from being by his side in the hospital. She lamented, “I couldn’t hold his hand when he took his last breath…I feel like he was alone.” The sense of anguish and lack of hope is heartbreaking.

The mood of that article stands in sharp contrast to what I studied in Psalm 23:4 this week: “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.” (NKJV) This familiar verse reminds us we’re never alone—even when people we love can’t be there. Walking with the Lord means His presence protects and comforts us even as death looms near.

The rapid spread of cornonavirus has forced us to confront the reality that life is finite and we are not in control. However, the threat of death may not be your primary concern right now. Other fears could be lurking in your mind that seem more urgent. Are you worried about a vulnerable family member getting infected, losing your job, or laying off employees? Maybe you’re fretting over missing milestones like trips, graduations, births, or weddings. Perhaps the downward slide of the stock market is keeping you awake at night envisioning your retirement account shrinking. Or maybe you’re feeling anxious about being stuck in a pattern of social distancing with no end in sight. The angst related to the pandemic leaves no one untouched. 

While some of our concerns don’t seem like outright fear, Jennifer Rothschild explains, “Fear shows up in ways we don’t realize. Being overly controlling is fear in disguise. Anger is often fear in disguise. Isolating yourself is fear in disguise. Anxiety and worry are fear in disguise.” (p. 118) She also reminds us, however, that “we can’t always change the valley we’re in, but we can always change our attitudes, actions, and choices in that valley. When we walk through our valleys with our Shepherd, He uses the valleys to change us, to grow us, and to take us to a new and better place. God can use our temporary valleys to create everlasting good for and in us.” (p.116)

As we walk through valleys, our hearts soften to God’s transformative work when we claim His truth. Rothschild explains, “fear focuses on the shadows. Faith focuses on the Shepherd.” (p. 120) To put that idea into practice, I took a variety of verses about fear and personalized them:

God is with me wherever I go. When I am afraid, I will trust in him. I will remember He has called me by name and I am His. He did not give me a spirit of fear but of power, love, and self-discipline. He will strengthen me and uphold me with His righteous right hand. He will answer me when I seek Him and deliver me from all my fears. I will let God’s perfect love drive out my fear. (Compiled from Joshua 1:9, Psalm 56:3-4, Isaiah 43:1, 2 Timothy 1:7, Isaiah 41:10, Psalm 34:4, 1 John 4:18)

Here’s the truth: “God gets personal when the valley gets dark.” (p. 124) As COVID-19 disrupts our normal routines and forces us to confront our fears, we have an opportunity to depend on God like never before. Being confined to home means many of our normal distractions have been removed. With our newfound free time, we may choose to numb ourselves by anesthetizing in front of screens, busying ourselves with household projects, or indulging in our favorite comfort foods. But we also have an amazing opportunity to draw near to the Lord without being in a rush. The pause button has been pushed on the whole world simultaneously. This means we have more opportunities to read, study, think, and pray. “Stillness increases our awareness of His presence…Ask the Lord to help you be still, to listen, and to quiet your heart.” (p. 126) Maybe it’s time to dust off that Bible study book you never finished or to start writing prayers in the journal that’s been sitting on your desk untouched. Go outside and admire the first blooms of spring or listen to music that draws your heart to Jesus. Perhaps God will reveal Himself as your awareness of Him grows in this season of stillness.

If you’re like me, you’re trying to make the most of this time and feeling impatient that there isn’t more you can do.  You’re ready for God to speak but haven’t sensed Him saying anything specific. Feeling restless, you’re craving productivity and purpose. Maybe you’re trying hard to force meaningful family time or searching tirelessly for moments of revelation and insight. Remember, “God is with you in your valley…don’t press to find the grand lesson or insight if one is not clear. Just rest in your Shepherd. Let Him carry you through. Receive His comfort and care.” (p. 126) Stop trying so hard and just be with Him. (I need to look in a mirror as I say that).

Remember that the Shepherd is with you in this challenging season. Don’t let fear consume you. Find your rest and refuge in Him. Take one day at a time rather than projecting into the future. Trust Him and let Him comfort and lead you. Help others to find hope and comfort by encouraging them to draw near to the Shepherd too. 

“Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, ‘He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.’” (Psalm 91:1-2, NIV)

The song “Fear No More” by Building 429 seems especially relevant in light of the coronavirus pandemic. Listen now and make it your proclamation against fear.

Jennifer Rothschild, Psalm 23: The Shepherd with Me, Lifeway Press, 2018, Week 4.

Julia Prodis Sulek, “The loneliness of death in the time of coronavirus”, East Bay Times, March 20, 2020, page 1.

Help Me with My Unbelief

“He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters.” (Psalm 23:2, NIV)

Using the image of a shepherd lovingly tending his sheep, David paints a serene picture of God’s constant presence with us. Author Jennifer Rothschild likens this to riding a tandem bicycle with Jesus and asks, “Where are you sitting?” She describes several scenarios: 1) Riding in front and pedaling hard on your own strength 2) Riding in back “shouting directions to your Shepherd and calling it prayer” 3) Contentedly sitting in back, “safe with your Shepherd, knowing He is in total control.” (p. 52)

Rothschild points out that often we can’t rest peacefully beside quiet waters because we struggle with unbelief resulting from not fully trusting God. Perhaps you relate to that like I do. If so, you’ll find comfort in the story of Jesus and a father who wrestled with unbelief. He came to Jesus and asked Him to heal his son saying, “If you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.” Jesus replied: “’If you can’?…Everything is possible for one who believes.’  Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, ‘I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!’”  (Mark 9:22-24, NIV)

I love the man’s honesty. Admitting his struggle with unbelief was the first step to receiving the help he needed from Jesus. And ultimately, the Lord did heal his son. Maybe we could learn from his example and approach God with complete honesty. If we revealed the pockets of unbelief in our lives that hindered us from trusting Him, perhaps we’d give the Lord new opportunities to reveal His power.

Jennifer Rothschild’s example reminded me of a favorite poem that I discovered at a pivotal time in my faith journey. It’s about riding a tandem bike with Jesus and learning to trust Him. As you read, consider who’s riding in the front seat in your life. How are you doing with admitting your unbelief to Jesus? How could you benefit from relinquishing control to Him?

The Road of Life

At first, I saw God as my observer,
my judge
keeping track of the things I did wrong,
so as to know whether I merited heaven
or hell when I die.
He was out there sort of like a president.
I recognized His picture when I saw it,
but I really didn’t know Him.

But later on
when I met Christ,
it seemed as though life were rather like a bike ride,
but it was a tandem bike,
and I noticed that Christ
was in the back helping me pedal.

I don’t know just when it was
that He suggested we change places,
but life has not been the same since.

When I had control,
I knew the way.
It was rather boring,
but predictable…
It was the shortest distance between two points.

But when He took the lead,
He knew delightful long cuts,
up mountains,
and through rocky places
at breakneck speeds,
it was all I could do to hang on!
Even though it looked like madness,
He said, “Pedal!”

I worried and was anxious
and asked,
“Where are you taking me?”
He laughed and didn’t answer,
and I started to learn to trust.

I forgot my boring life
and entered into the adventure.
And when I’d say, “I’m scared,”
He’d lean back and touch my hand.

He took me to people with gifts that I needed,
gifts of healing,
acceptance
and joy.
They gave me gifts to take on my journey,
my Lord’s and mine.

And we were off again.
He said, “Give the gifts away;
they’re extra baggage, too much weight.”
So I did,
to the people we met,
and I found that in giving I received,
and still our burden was light.

I did not trust Him,
at first,
in control of my life.
I thought He’d wreck it;

but He knows bike secrets,
knows how to make it bend to take sharp corners,
knows how to jump to clear high rocks,
knows how to fly to shorten scary passages.

And I am learning to shut up
and pedal
in the strangest places,
and I’m beginning to enjoy the view
and the cool breeze on my face
with my delightful constant companion, Jesus Christ.

And when I’m sure I just can’t do anymore,
He just smiles and says…”Pedal.”

-Author Unknown

Although I asked Christ to be my Savior as a child, it wasn’t until I was 18 that I surrendered to Him as Lord. That’s when I allowed Him to take the front seat on our tandem bike and my adventure with Him truly began. Switching seats was both frightening and exhilarating. Even now, making Him Lord of my life continues to be a daily choice that requires trust, humility, and obedience. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

How about you? Who sets the course for your journey each day? Who determines the speed and cadence of your life? Trusting Jesus isn’t easy, but there’s no better way to live. Listen to “Way Maker” by Michael W. Smith and let it fill any pockets of unbelief in your life with powerful reminders of God’s character.

 Poem quoted from Holy Sweat by Tim Hansel, Word Publishing, 1987, p. 51-53.

Jennifer Rotshchild, Psalm 23: The Shepherd with Me, Lifeway Press 2018, p.52.