Category: Forgiveness

The Blessing of the Broken Road

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I tossed the essay on my son’s bed and congratulated him. Across the top of the page, his teacher had written “This is AMAZING!” in bold blue print. He’d been assigned to write about an event that sparked a period of personal growth for him. His descriptive language impressed me, but it was the recognition of how a difficult season in his life had changed him for the better that made me weepy. What a joy it was to see him choosing to learn and grow through hardships instead of letting them make him bitter and cynical.

It’s hard work to re-frame the way we view difficult times. We’re quick to label them as bad and to rail against the unfairness of having to endure them. Most of us view setbacks as interruptions from the way life is “supposed” to unfold, betraying a sense of entitlement we may not realize we have. But when we pause to examine hard circumstances further, there is much we can learn. The opportunities for personal and spiritual growth are only limited by our willingness to shift our perspectives. When we begin to view hard circumstances through a biblical lens, we start seeing that what looks bad on the surface is brimming with good.

Perhaps one of the best examples of this comes from the life of Joseph recorded in Genesis. After being sold by his jealous brothers to slave traders, he finds himself in a series of unfortunate circumstances. Despite being a person of honor and integrity, he’s falsely accused of rape, thrown in prison, and left there for two years. Eventually his character and faithfulness to God lead to a stunning reversal. After interpreting a prophetic dream for Pharaoh, he’s made second in command of Egypt. In this position, he’s tasked with ensuring the crops produced during seven years of plenty are stored to prepare for seven subsequent years of famine, in keeping with Pharaoh’s dream.

Meanwhile, Joseph’s family in Canaan experiences the ravages of the famine and heads to Egypt to buy food. His ten older brothers appear before him to buy grain and, “Although Joseph recognized his brothers, they did not recognize him.” (Genesis 42:8, NIV)

After several interactions with them over time, Joseph can’t restrain himself any longer and proclaims, “I am your brother Joseph, the one you sold into Egypt! And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. For two years now there has been famine in the land, and for the next five years there will be no plowing and reaping. But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance.’” (Genesis 45:4b-7, NIV)

Rather than spewing anger at them for selling him into slavery and inflicting years of misery upon him, he reassures them. Joseph sees the big picture and realizes that God, in His sovereignty, used him to save his family and many others from starving to death during the famine. Later, he reiterates this to his brothers, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” (Genesis 50:20, NIV)

Reading that leads me to think of someone else who endured hardship for the good of many: Jesus. Just as Joseph tumbled downward from his privileged position as Jacob’s favorite son to a lowly slave, Jesus left the glory of heaven to become a lowly man: “[Jesus] made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness.” (Philippians 2:7, NIV)

Joseph endured the humiliation of being falsely accused and punished for a crime he didn’t commit.  In the same way, Jesus was falsely accused and received punishment for the sins of all humankind: “he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross!” (Philippians 2:8, NIV)

Scripture explains the purpose behind this: “For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.” (Romans 8:3-4, NIV)

Joseph traveled a broken road, but he saw how his painful circumstances led to ultimate good—the saving of many lives. Like him, Jesus’ suffering led to an even greater good–the saving of humankind. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” (John 3:16-17, NIV)

God allowed His son to walk a painful path for the sake of ultimate good, triumphing over evil, death, and sin. Could it be possible that the lesser hardships we endure can also be used for His glory and our good? 

Beloved author and theologian C.S. Lewis describes pain as “God’s megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” Are you willing to listen? How about refocusing your perspective on hardships using the lens of God’s goodness? This can move you past the pain and discomfort to discover the greater significance, as Joseph did.

Keep his story in mind and consider how your hurts and hardships might be pointing you toward the Lord as you listen to “Bless the Broken Road” by Selah.

To learn about other parallels between Joseph and Jesus, click here.

Bad Story, Good Lessons

She was a young teenager, the only daughter among a crowd of sons. Living in a new place, she was curious about clothes, customs, and social events that were different from her family’s. Most likely she was also a little naïve, not considering the harm that could come to her by sneaking away to mix with new friends at a local festival.

He was accustomed to getting his way. As a young man of privilege, he probably carried a sense of entitlement. When he saw something he wanted, he took it and dealt with the consequences later. Maybe he knew his powerful father would follow behind him to clean up the mess. So when he saw the new girl in town, he didn’t think twice about pursuing her. Maybe it started out as a friendly flirtation, but it quickly escalated into something entirely different. No one had any idea how the collision of these two lives would forever change the city and the family who had come to live on its outskirts.

Sounds like the makings of a modern movie, doesn’t it? Actually, it’s the story of Jacob’s daughter, Dinah, and the prince of Shechem, as told in the book of Genesis (with a bit of creative license based on commentaries). It’s a sordid tale that makes us uncomfortable, but there are things we can learn if we’re willing to move past our squeamishness. Finding personal application in it reminds us that times have changed, but human nature has remained the same.

Dinah’s Downfall: “Now Dinah the daughter of Leah, whom she had borne to Jacob, went out to see the women of the land. And when Shechem the son of Hamor the Hivite, the prince of the land, saw her, he seized her and lay with her and humiliated her. And his soul was drawn to Dinah the daughter of Jacob. He loved the young woman and spoke tenderly to her. So Shechem spoke to his father Hamor, saying, ‘Get me this girl for my wife.’” (Genesis 34:1-3, NIV)

Scholars believe Dinah was a young adolescent, somewhere between the ages of 12 and 16. Naturally, she was curious and interested in developing her social life, as most teens would be. But her parents hadn’t equipped her with the wisdom to recognize the dangers of the outside world. No one explained how vulnerable she would be out on her own, even in a place that looked so inviting. In fact, no one seemed to be paying much attention to her until it was too late. 

It’s tempting to point the finger of blame at the family members who didn’t seem to value Dinah enough to watch out for her. But how often can we be guilty of the same today? Teenagers may look like adults who eagerly exert their independence, but we’re fooling ourselves if we think they know how to navigate the world entirely on their own (both online and in real life). Sheltering adolescents seems like a quick fix, but isn’t realistic or beneficial to them. Leaving them to their own devices isn’t the answer either. We need to find middle ground where we’re engaged in their lives and connecting with them consistently so we can earn their trust. Only then will they be open to receiving the truth and wisdom they need from adults to make wise choices. If you’re not parenting a teen, you still have opportunities to connect and pour into them in many ways—whether it’s as a grandparent, an aunt or uncle, a neighbor, a youth leader, a co-worker, a work supervisor, a teacher, a mentor, a coach, a tutor, or any other role that puts you in contact with this precious and vulnerable age group. (See below for helpful resources on understanding teens and their world).

Dinah’s Brothers Misuse God’s Covenant: “The sons of Jacob answered Shechem and his father Hamor deceitfully, because he had defiled their sister Dinah. They said to them, ‘We cannot do this thing, to give our sister to one who is uncircumcised, for that would be a disgrace to us. Only on this condition will we agree with you—that you will become as we are by every male among you being circumcised.  Then we will give our daughters to you, and we will take your daughters to ourselves, and we will dwell with you and become one people. But if you will not listen to us and be circumcised, then we will take our daughter, and we will be gone.’” (Genesis 34:13-17, NIV)

Jacob’s sons used the sacred sign of God’s covenant as a tool of manipulation. Insisting that all the men of the town be circumcised was a ruse for making them vulnerable to attack. Using anything God has given us to inflict harm on others has no place in the life of a believer. It’s dishonoring to Him and defiles the sacred things He’s given us. The Church has had many shameful seasons in history when hateful acts were committed in the name of the Lord. We shouldn’t use pressure or manipulation to force people into God’s ways. Our role is to plant seeds of faith, it’s the Holy Spirit who makes them grow and brings true life transformation.

Dinah’s Brothers Take Revenge: “And all who went out of the gate of his city listened to Hamor and his son Shechem, and every male was circumcised, all who went out of the gate of his city. On the third day, when they were sore, two of the sons of Jacob, Simeon and Levi, Dinah’s brothers, took their swords and came against the city while it felt secure and killed all the males. They killed Hamor and his son Shechem with the sword and took Dinah out of Shechem’s house and went away. The sons of Jacob came upon the slain and plundered the city, because they had defiled their sister.” (Genesis 34:24-27, NIV)

Simeon and Levi decided to stand up for their sister and take their revenge to a gruesome extreme. In the process, they ruined the lives of everyone in Shechem and made their family a stench in the land. What they did was so detestable that their father cursed them on his deathbed:

“Simeon and Levi are brothers—  their swords   are weapons of violence. Let me not enter their council, let me not join their assembly, for they have killed men in their anger and hamstrung oxen as they pleased. Cursed be their anger, so fierce, and their fury, so cruel! I will scatter them in Jacob and disperse them in Israel.” (Genesis 49:5-7, NIV)

Dinah’s brothers probably imagined how satisfying it would be to get revenge, but it backfired on them in the end.  When we’ve been wronged, Scripture instructs us not to give in to our thirst for revenge: “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord. On the contrary: ‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.’ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:17-21, NIV) Rather than bringing peace and contentment, revenge only escalates painful situations and perpetuates hate and violence. Trust God to handle vengeance and do your best to live at peace with everyone.

How I wish Dinah could have heard the words of “Rescue” by Lauren Daigle. Let the song comfort you and remind you of God’s attentiveness in whatever difficulties you’re facing. (Once you click below, a new window will open, then click “Watch on YouTube”).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MgkNB4939YM

Want more info on how to understand teens and their culture? Check out these resources:

Axis.org

Teenesteem.org

Chapclark.com

The Dignity and Worth of Women

A female servant conceives a child with her master at the urging of his barren wife. A father offers up his virgin daughters to be used and abused by a lustful crowd of men. Later, the same daughters commit incest with their father in an act of desperation, hoping to secure their value by producing offspring. To preserve his life, a husband remains passive as a foreign king absorbs his wife into the royal harem. These stories of Abraham, Sarah, Hagar, Lot and his daughters in Genesis 16-20 sound like the makings for a sordid soap opera. They are ugly, disturbing, and just plain icky. Taken out of context, they could easily lead us to believe Scripture debases and devalues women. But upon closer examination, we find they show cultural attitudes towards the roles, value, and identity of women in that era of history. They aren’t examples of how God views women, but about how the culture at the time did. 

To understand the Lord’s heart toward women more clearly, let’s turn to the New Testament. In the pages of the four gospels we find Jesus giving women dignity and worth that exceeded the cultural norms of His time. Here are a few of my favorites that show this clearly.

The Samaritan Woman at the Well: “Now [Jesus] had to go through Samaria.  So he came to a town in Samaria called Sychar, near the plot of ground Jacob had given to his son Joseph. Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well. It was about noon. When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, ‘Will you give me a drink?’  (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.) The Samaritan woman said to him, ‘You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?’ (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.) (John 4:5-9, NIV)

This exchange may not seem significant to us, but for a Jewish man like Jesus, speaking to a Samaritan woman would have gone against several societal norms. First, Jewish men did not speak to or associate with Gentile women. Second, Jews considered Samaritans to be detestable and unworthy. Many Jews wouldn’t even set foot in Samaria, opting to take a much longer route to get to Jerusalem to avoid traveling through this region filled with “unclean” people. The woman at the well knew this, which is why she was shocked by Jesus’ request.

As the conversation progresses, they discuss her checkered personal life. The woman realizes Jesus is not just an ordinary man and she says, “I know that Messiah” (called Christ) “is coming. When he comes, he will explain everything to us.” Jesus replies: “I, the one speaking to you—I am he.” (John 4:25 & 26, NIV).

This is one of the first instances in Scripture when Jesus acknowledges that He is the long- awaited Messiah. And He chooses to share this important information with a woman of questionable morals from the wrong side of the tracks. Not the typical way women would have been treated at the time.

The “Unclean” Woman: “A large crowd followed and pressed around him. And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, because she thought, ‘If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.’  Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering. At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, ‘Who touched my clothes?’…Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. He said to her, ‘Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.’ (Mark 5:24-34, NIV)

Jesus responded with compassion to this woman that was considered ceremonially unclean by the Jews because of her bleeding. She would have been banned from most social contact and anyone she touched would’ve been “unclean” as well. While others probably recoiled from her, Jesus sought her out and affirmed her faith in Him with love and gentleness.

The Woman Who Anointed Jesus: “While Jesus was in Bethany in the home of Simon the Leper, a woman came to him with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, which she poured on his head as he was reclining at the table. When the disciples saw this, they were indignant. ‘Why this waste?’ they asked. ‘This perfume could have been sold at a high price and the money given to the poor.’ Aware of this, Jesus said to them, ‘Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing to me. The poor you will always have with you, but you will not always have me. When she poured this perfume on my body, she did it to prepare me for burial. Truly I tell you, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.’” Matthew 26:6-13, NIV)

Here we see Jesus defend and affirm a woman’s act of worship. He silences her male critics as they attempt to demonstrate moral superiority. Affirming her generous actions, He says she will be remembered any time the gospel is preached.

The Woman Caught in Adultery: “At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, ‘Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?’  They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, ‘Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.’ Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, ‘Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?’

‘No one, sir,’ she said.

‘Then neither do I condemn you,’ Jesus declared. ‘Go now and leave your life of sin.’” (John 8:2-11, NIV)

Jesus defends the woman brilliantly and causes her accusers to recognize their hypocrisy. At the same time, He achieves the delicate balance of holding her accountable for her sin while offering her mercy, grace, and forgiveness. 

These are just a few of the many times Jesus shows that He values and esteems women. His actions defied the cultural norms of the time and were a precursor for Paul’s words in Galatians: “So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.  There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.” (Galatians 3:26-29, NIV)

God’s love and promises aren’t limited by the divisions we create between groups because of our sinful nature. In His eyes, all people have worth and dignity, regardless of cultural or societal norms.

Lauren Daigle’s song “How Can It Be” was inspired by Jesus’ interaction with the woman caught in adultery in John 8. Let the wonder of His grace fill you with hope and joy today.

Header image courtesy of rawpixel at www.pixabay.com.

A Clean Heart

Playing alone quietly, I accidentally ruined the small toy I’d found to occupy myself. I couldn’t have been more than five, but I still remember the horror of realizing I had broken something that didn’t belong to me. We’d been visiting the home of family friends and, since their kids were the ages of my three oldest siblings, I’d been left to my own devices. On that day, I’d found an old mobile with a dangling yellow bird in a back bedroom. I hadn’t meant to ruin it, I’d only been testing to see how far I could stretch the spring before it would recoil again. But my experiment backfired when I stretched it so far that the spring’s metal bent and stayed extended for good. Realizing my mistake, I decided to hide it and pretend nothing had happened.

Not long after, one of the older kids discovered the mobile and accused me of ruining it. Stammering to cover my mistake, I blurted out the only thing I could think to say, “I, I, just found it that way, it was already broken!”

Everyone knew I was lying, but I wouldn’t admit the truth (until now). I’ll never forgot that moment–it’s the earliest memory I have of not confessing a wrongdoing. Of course, my behavior was simply human nature. It started in the Garden of Eden when Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit, hid from God, and then tried to shift blame when their sin was uncovered.

None of us likes to admit we’re wrong, but confessing our sins to God regularly needs to be a part of our ongoing communication with Him. Unconfessed sin separates us from the Lord and hinders our relationship with Him. It also prevents spiritual growth and hardens our hearts, closing us off to the things God wants to teach us. Confessing our sins consistently helps us to keep short accounts with the Lord and stops us from traveling too far down roads that will lead us away from Him.

One of the best examples of this kind of prayer comes from King David in Psalm 51. It was written in the later days of David’s rule over Israel when he had become powerful, prosperous, and revered. Although he was a wise and godly king, he was far from perfect. In fact, he wrote this Psalm to confess and repent after committing adultery with Bathsheba, getting her pregnant, and trying to cover his wrongdoing by having her husband killed in battle. If you need your memory refreshed, you can read the story in 1 Samuel 11 & 12. This is probably the best-known example of a prayer of confession and repentance in Scripture. David uses several different words for sins in this Psalm including “iniquities” and “transgressions.” These words can be used interchangeably. Here’s how it starts:

“Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge.” (Psalm 51:1-4, NIV)

Using the metaphor of being physically washed, David describes the need for spiritual cleansing from sin. Think about times when you’ve been physically unclean- covered in dirt, sweat, and grime. It feels amazing to shed grubby clothes, step in a hot shower, and rinse off all the filth. But have you ever thought about the ways sin makes you spiritually dirty? Confessing to God allows us to “come clean” and gives that same feeling of refreshment and renewal on a spiritual level. 

Reviewing recent events in your life and confessing specific times that you’ve dishonored God in thought, attitude, or behavior stops sinful ways from getting deeply ingrained in your life. The more quickly you recognize sin and let the Lord root it out, the less hold it has over you. The metaphor of physical washing illustrates this so clearly. The longer we go without bathing, the more effort it takes to get clean. The same is true of our spiritual lives, but the consequences have much higher stakes.

Sometimes we feel bad about having our sin discovered or about the consequences it causes, but how often do we recognize that our sins hurt God? David’s prayer acknowledges this when he says, “Against you, you only, have I sinned.” (Psalm 51:4, NIV). Jesus paid for our sins by choosing to die on a cross. He experienced unthinkable pain to free us from the bondage of sin, yet so often we hold onto behaviors and thoughts that hurt Him deeply.

David understands the severity of his sins and takes full ownership over them. He recognizes that only God’s mercy can save him and cleanse him. He also knows that he needs a clean heart to be restored into a right relationship with God: “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” (Psalm 51:10, NIV) 

David’s request for God to purify his heart exemplifies the second part of confession: repentance. This happens when we recognize we’ve been headed in the wrong direction (away from God) and ask Him to turn us back around. Repentance invites the Lord to realign us with His ways, because confession with no intent to change is hollow and meaningless. 

There is a tension to this, I know. We’ve been saved from sin, yet we continue to struggle with it. Scripture understands this paradox and urges us to press on: “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:8-9, NIV) 

Instead of feeling dread at the thought of owning up to your sins, think of it like you would a daily shower. Our bodies don’t stay clean permanently, so we wash them regularly. We don’t see this as futile, but necessary. In the same way, sin happens in our lives daily, even if we try to avoid it. Confessing it is our chance to reconnect with God and to renew our efforts to follow Him wholeheartedly.  When we lay it before the Lord and let Him cleanse us, we get to start new again. 

In another psalm, David tells us “As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” (Psalm 103:12, NIV) Why not stop now and confess to the Lord? Then thank Him that He doesn’t keep a running tally of your sins.

Confession isn’t a popular topic in the world of music, but For King and Country does have a good song about it. Listen here.

Spiritual Spring Cleaning

Opening the closet door, I recoiled at what I found on the other side. In the six months since we’d stowed our summer gear, a few critters had taken up residence in the dry, dark space. Thick spider webs laden with dust hung in the corners and mouse droppings were strewn across the plywood floor. Before we could enjoy a day of fun at the lake, we would have to clean out our storage locker and wipe down all of our gear.

It hadn’t taken long for the elements to have their way over the winter months. Armed with a broom and a bucket of water, we got to work killing spiders, removing webs, sweeping out droppings and dirt. The season of fun couldn’t start until we cleaned the grime off our summer toys.

As we worked, I thought about how the gradual decline into disorder had occurred. It was a perfect example of entropy. Without our regular presence there to keep things tidy, nature had taken its course. It was our responsibility to get things back in order.

The more I cleaned, the more I saw the parallel to our spiritual lives. We have great intentions and set plans in place. We commit to people and activities that will help us to grow consistently in our relationship with God. We resolve to do a variety of things to stay on track, whether it’s reading our Bibles more, saying “yes” to serving or using our spiritual gifts. We have noble intentions about being held accountable by others or eliminating behaviors and activities that don’t honor God. But somewhere along the way, we just can’t tend to all of the things we want to do and spiritual entropy sets in. Our lives default to old behaviors and thought patterns when we’re not paying attention. 

Is it time for you to do some spiritual spring cleaning? Have some of those commitments you made in September or January been pushed aside? Are you having trouble remembering the “one word” you chose to focus on this year? Take a look at the questions below and see if any of them resonate. Use the corresponding verses for encouragement to get back on track.

-How are you doing with making Bible reading a regular discipline in your day? “Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.” (Joshua 1:8, NIV)

-Are you making it a priority to gather consistently with other believers at church, Bible study and/or small group? “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:24-25, NIV)

-Is it time to clean out some unhealthy thought patterns that are influencing what comes out of your mouth? Have cynicism, negativity, gossip, foul language or criticism slipped into your conversations with more regularity? “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (Ephesians 4:29, NIV)

-Are other negative thought patterns affecting your perspective consistently? Are you holding onto bitterness, anger or malicious thoughts and letting them color your outlook? Are you withholding forgiveness from those who have hurt or offended you? “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:31-32, NIV)

-Have you stopped trying? Maybe apathy and complacency have a hold on you. Perhaps you’ve gotten comfortable with the way things are and don’t want to put yourself in situations that require effort or change. “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.” (James 1:22-24, NIV)

-Have you let busyness force you to replace the important with the urgent? “As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, ‘Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!’ ‘Martha, Martha,’ the Lord answered, ‘you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.'” (Luke 10: 38-42, NIV)

-Are you fighting against your natural inclination to critique and judge others? “Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor?” (James 4:11-12, NIV)

-Do you need to clean the cobwebs of worry out of your mind? “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?” (Luke 12:25-26, NIV)

If you’re feeling convicted, why not pray and ask God to help clear out the grime? Invite Him to partner with you in your spiritual spring cleaning. “Because of the Lord’s great love, we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22-23, NIV)

Don’t beat yourself up if you’ve defaulted to some thoughts and habits that have sidetracked you spiritually. Instead, embrace the powerful truth of “Maybe It’s Ok” by We Are Messengers.

Godly Sorrow

It was a brisk fall evening when the sport utility vehicle sped down our street, careened around an unexpected curve, lost control, and mowed down our neighbors’ mailbox. After flattening the sturdy wooden post, it was still going fast enough to plow through our front hedge and hit our parked SUV, spinning it backwards before slamming it into the corner of our house. The speeding car finally came to a stop on our front lawn. Despite the sturdiness of the vehicle, its front end was a crumpled mass of metal. The sixteen-year-old driver emerged from the mangled car without a scratch. He had been racing his buddies down our street and misjudged the turn in the dark.

As the teenage boys sat on the curb waiting for the driver’s parents and the police, they discussed the incident with great enthusiasm, seeming to revel in the excitement of having totaled not one, but two, eight-passenger vehicles. Although this incident happened many years ago, I’ll never forget the behavior of the driver and his friends. At the time of the accident, my own boys were only six and four. I can remember making them study the smashed cars carefully so that they’d remember it when they were old enough to drive.

A few minutes after the accident, the driver’s father arrived on the scene. We exchanged insurance information and he muttered, “I’m sorry this happened.” He never had his son look us in the eye and apologize. The boy didn’t return the next day to help clean up the mess in our yard or to replace our neighbor’s mailbox. I’m not sure if he learned any valuable lessons from that incident, but I know my boys did.

I was reminded of that accident as I studied the concept of repentance and godly sorrow. These aren’t very popular topics in today’s culture. It seems we’ve become a society averse to accepting responsibility for our wrongdoing, let alone labeling it as sin and seeking forgiveness. We shift blame whenever possible. Or even worse, we try to rationalize why the wrong things we’re doing are actually justified. Many in our culture want to excuse or even condone sinful behavior altogether.

No one likes to admit they’re wrong, but for those who call themselves followers of Jesus, this needs to be something we do regularly. When we humble ourselves, admit our sins and seek God’s forgiveness, He offers it freely. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9) Here’s the catch: we can’t be forgiven if we don’t acknowledge our sin.

In his second letter to the Corinthians, Paul addresses the value of godly sorrow and true repentance. Following up on a previous letter he sent that rebuked them for some sinful behaviors, he says: “Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did regret it—I see that my letter hurt you, but only for a little while—  yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.” (2 Corinthians 7:8-10, NIV)

Godly sorrow involves repenting–literally and figuratively turning away from our sins and going in a different direction. It is sorrow over the wickedness of our sins. It expresses grief, understanding the hurt we cause our heavenly Father when we engage in sin. Coming to God with a contrite heart enables us to experience the tremendous grace and forgiveness He offers us through the blood of Jesus.

Conversely, worldly sorrow is self-centered. It is focused on the painful consequences of sin, not on the offense it is to God. It is sorry the situation happened, but it accepts no blame and has no intention of changing. (Sounds like my opening story, doesn’t it?) Worldly sorrow is an apology with words, but with no heart behind it.

It’s easy to get swept up in the attitude of our culture—to want to avoid responsibility for wrongdoing or to explain it away. We receive this message subtly, but constantly. If we follow Jesus, we must be on our guards lest we get lured into this way of thinking.

When was the last time you came before God with a contrite heart, deeply troubled by the hurt you’d caused Him through your sin? It’s never too late to get down on your knees and humbly ask for forgiveness. God has so much more to offer us than the world does. The first step to discovering that is our humble repentance.

The song “Broken Vessels (Amazing Grace)” by Hillsong United captures several themes from 2 Corinthians beautifully. Using Paul’s metaphor of Christ-followers being jars of clay, it describes the gratitude we feel when we recognize God’s love and grace and turn from our sin. With simple but profound lyrics, it communicates the value of godly sorrow and repentance that leads to the fullness of life in Christ.

Kelly Minter, All Things New: A Study of 2 Corinthians, Lifeway Press 2016.

*This story was adapted from an essay that appears in my Bible study Women of the Word: The Family Tree of Jesus. Click here for more information.

Offloading Your Christmas Baggage

I remember the first time my husband and I traveled with our eldest son as a baby. He was only ten months old, but required so much gear that we had to rent a cart at the airport to carry it all. I’ll never forget seeing him perched in his car seat atop a mountain of luggage. Wrangling and monitoring our baggage throughout the day’s travel took a lot of effort. Once we arrived at our destination, fitting the stroller, backpack, diaper bag, portable crib, and suitcases into the rental car’s tiny trunk was another challenge.

Baggage is unwieldy. It takes up a lot of space and makes traveling cumbersome, especially when it is oversized. And yet, most of us carry invisible baggage with us all the time—unresolved issues, emotional pain, insecurity, control issues, fears, and brokenness, to name a few. And somehow, at Christmas time, that baggage gets unpacked at some of the worst moments.

As much as we love it, the Christmas season is filled with stress for many people. Perhaps when I say that you’re envisioning to do lists that include decorating, shopping, cooking, entertaining, traveling, and attending events. But underneath these surface stressors lurk deeper issues. Some of us dread the awkward or painful interactions we’ll have with people in relationships that are strained. Others will feel the sting of being alone when it seems everyone else has somewhere to go and someone to celebrate with. Others will feel anxious about meeting hidden expectations of family, friends, co-workers, or clients. Some will struggle as they are the sole followers of Jesus gathering with others who really don’t care about the true meaning of Christmas. Others won’t be able to enjoy the festivities because all they can see is the empty place at the table where a loved one used to sit.

Whatever baggage we carry, it seems to get heavier and larger during the Christmas season. Hard relationships become magnified and often eclipse the purpose of the holidays. The enemy loves nothing more than stealing our joy as we prepare to celebrate the birth of Christ. So, here are a few thoughts on how to stop him in his tracks by not letting your baggage get the best of you.

-Label Your Baggage: When something triggers a negative emotion, take a moment to stop and figure out where things went wrong. Take stock of the baggage you usually carry. Being aware of what tends to hurt you or what throws you into a tailspin can help you to head it off before you’ve spiraled too far. Spend some time praying about the things you struggle with, especially before you’re entering a situation that you know might be challenging. “Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens.” (Psalm 68:19, NIV)

-Give Grace to Others with Baggage: We all have it, but not everyone wants to acknowledge it. And sometimes our baggage doesn’t fit well with the baggage of others– sort of like trying to cram too much luggage into a small trunk doesn’t work very well. We can’t fix other people or force them to deal with their issues, but we can do our part to show them God’s love and grace. Sometimes this means being flexible, sometimes it means biting your tongue when you want to lash out, sometimes it means offering a word of affirmation even when you’re annoyed. When you encounter people with a lot of baggage, do what you can in the moment to ease their burden without compromising your own emotional health. “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” (Colossians 3:12-14, NIV)

-Lean into God: Often prayer and Scripture reading are the first things we abandon during this busy season. Yet, when we make the time to draw near to God and to let His Word realign our hearts and renew our minds, we’re off-loading our baggage onto Him instead of letting it weigh us down. When we take time to let Him fill us with His love, strength and wisdom, we’ll have so much more to give others. Spending time in God’s presence refreshes us. It enables us to be less likely to get our feelings hurt, helps us to stop nursing personal grudges, and allows us to give an RSVP of “no” to our personal pity parties. When we start our day with a vertical focus, we’re more equipped to make a horizontal impact on those we encounter. “Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.” (Colossians 3:1-2, NIV)

It took many years before we could travel lighter with our two boys. I’ll never forget the first time we walked briskly through the airport with each of us wheeling our own bag. My husband looked at me with a triumphant grin and declared, “This is awesome!”

It feels good to travel light, but it does take effort and forethought to make it happen. God is ready and willing to help offload our baggage. He wants us to entrust it to Him.  He also provides wise and godly friends, family members, and counselors to help us along the way. All we need to do is ask. “Trust in him at all times, you people;  pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. (Psalm 62:8, NIV)

May your days be merry and bright… and may all your Christmas baggage be light.

Click on the link and enjoy some Christmas cheer with Sidewalk Prophets and Francesca Battistelli singing “White Christmas” (without my creative lyric change!)

 

When Fellowship Fractures

As hard as it is to believe, even deep and godly friendships sometimes fracture. Paul and Barnabas are a case in point. The friendship between them may have begun when Barnabas stood up for Paul when the others were skeptical about the authenticity of his conversion in Acts 9. Later, the Holy Spirit ordained their ministry in Acts 13 and they traveled together sharing the gospel until a disagreement tore them apart. Despite their deep love for God and their history of meaningful fellowship, Acts 15 explains that these two pillars of the faith couldn’t reconcile in their opposite opinions over John Mark accompanying them on their next missionary journey. Barnabas wanted to give him a second chance after a past failure, Paul didn’t. This caused them to split up and to continue sharing the gospel in different places with new ministry partners.

Beth Moore writes about this situation, “One ministry turned into two. You and I both know it doesn’t always happen that way. It takes cooperation. We can stunt God’s redemptive work in our midst with our bitterness, unforgiveness, slander, blame, chronic regret, and unresolved guilt. Or we can go face down and beg God in our fractures to do something bigger with the broken pieces than He might have done with the whole.” (Entrusted, page 36)

Reading her words, I couldn’t help but think of how God used the broken pieces of a former relationship to make me into something better. The friendship I shared with this woman arose from our mutual desire to study God’s Word. We were the only two from our congregation that joined an in-depth Bible study at a neighboring church. After class, we’d stand in the parking lot talking enthusiastically about what we’d learned long after the rest of the cars had pulled away. My son, a toddler at the time, would fuss and squirm in his car seat once his Cheerios ran out or the sippy cup was empty. Finally, I’d have to interrupt her animated sharing with an apology and a promise to continue the conversation later. I could usually feel her disappointment as I pulled away.

A year later, our enthusiasm to study God’s Word with others led us to start a new Bible study for our own church with the help of a seasoned teacher. It was an exciting time of spiritual growth and meaningful fellowship centered on God’s Word. So much so, that I ignored the subtle warning signs that would lead to future problems between us.

Early in our friendship, I’d given her a card expressing my gratitude to God for her. I wrote about how thankful I was that the Lord was using us in each other’s lives and told her I believed He had much more in store for our friendship. I couldn’t wait to see how things would unfold. Although God did use her in my life, what I envisioned when I wrote that card was not at all how things turned out.

Without belaboring the details, over the course of 9 months, our friendship went into a downward spiral because of some boundaries I had to put in place. Although she said she understood, she retreated with hurt and anger. I continued to pursue her to no avail. Soon I found that the groups we’d enjoyed spending time with together were having gatherings without me. Over the months, my heart sank lower and lower as many of our mutual friends backed away from me with little or no explanation. I felt cut off from the fellowship I had once enjoyed so much. This began a dark and lonely season in my life that ultimately led me to counseling.

With the help of a wise and godly therapist, I began to see where things had gone wrong and could take ownership over the unhealthy contributions I’d made to our friendship. I could also identify the things that were solely her issues and not my responsibility. Over the course of more than a year in counseling, I started to understand how the implosion of that friendship was a flash point for some deeper issues that I needed to sort through.

Without that fractured relationship, I never would have recognized the unhealthy perspectives and patterns I’d maintained for many years. I would have stunted God’s redemptive work and prevented Him from refining me through the longstanding struggles in my life. In that difficult season, I learned how to be authentic and vulnerable, how to have safe and healthy relationships, and how to function more wisely with people. Confronting my issues equipped me for opportunities to come alongside others who were struggling in different ways. It has also allowed me to navigate through the inevitable challenges that come whenever people work, serve, study, socialize, or live together (whether they are Christians or not).

I’ve thought many times about that card I wrote to my old friend early in our relationship. God did, indeed, use her in my life. He peeled back some issues that I needed to deal with so that I could reach a healthier place. And although it’s still painful to remember that season, I am ultimately grateful that it became a catalyst for heathy change in my life.

Before my former friend moved away, I tried one last time to reach out by leaving a card on her doorstep.  Although she never responded, I’m glad I told her about how God used our struggles for good in my life. I pray that the same is true for her.

If you’re struggling with a fractured relationship, don’t muddle through it alone. Let the song “Brother” by NEEDTOBREATHE be an encouragement to you today (and if you’re a woman, substitute the word “sister” if it makes you feel better.)

Beth Moore, Entrusted: A Study of 2 Timothy, Lifeway Press 2016.

Faith Foundation #7: Making It Personal

Sifting through the pile of mail, I ripped papers in half before tossing them in the recycle bin when the bold print on one letter caught my eye: “Enjoy a 7-day cruise for two, our gift to you!” Without another thought, I tore up the offer and threw it in with the rest of the junk mail.  Maybe I was missing the opportunity of a lifetime, but I’ve always been taught that if something seems too good to be true, it probably is.  That piece of mail started me thinking, though.  How many “special offers” do we discard without checking to see if they’re legitimate? Have I ever missed out on something good just because I didn’t make the effort to redeem it?

If you’ve been following along with my last few posts, you know I’ve been exploring some foundations of the Christian faith. You might remember that God extends each person an offer that surpasses any others we might receive: the gift of eternal life.  I’ve written about some key truths in the Christian faith that paved the way for today’s message:

  • Truth #1 God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life.
  • Truth #2 There is a problem, sin separates us from God.
  • Truth #3: Jesus Christ is the only way we can have eternal life and experience God’s love.

Many people have heard snippets of these messages but sometimes fail to see the big picture.  They’ve been told that Jesus died for the sins of all people, but aren’t aware of this fourth key truth: Each person must individually place faith in Jesus Christ as Savior in order to receive the gift of salvation and to learn God’s plan for his or her life.

Jesus’ death was not just a blanket insurance policy that automatically covers everyone and saves all people from their sins.  Just like any other special offer, we must choose to redeem it personally in order to receive it.

John 1:12 puts it this way: “Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.”

And Ephesians 2:8-9 clarifies that it is God’s grace activated by our faith that saves us: “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.” Grace is God’s unmerited favor bestowed upon us.  An easy way to define it is by using this acrostic:

God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense

Like the special offer I received in the mail with my name on it, God extends a personal invitation for us to begin a relationship with Him and to receive eternal life through Christ. Jesus says in Revelation 3:20 “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.” Eating a meal with someone signifies a relationship– Jesus is ready and waiting to begin an individual relationship with each person, but it’s up to us personally to open the door and let Him in.

Deciding to accept God’s grace and to begin a relationship with Him is not just an intellectual decision or an emotionally charged “spiritual high.” It is an act of the will made by faith. It is the beginning of a new and thrilling journey of trusting God and learning to lean into Him no matter what comes your way. Jesus explained that when we begin a relationship with Him, we are born into a new life. (You can read about this in John 3.) This choice for spiritual re-birth shifts our focus away from self and onto God.

If you’ve never accepted Jesus’ offer for a personal relationship with God and eternal life, you can simply pray something like this:

 Jesus, I want to know You personally. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life and receive you as my Savior and Lord. Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Please take control of my life and make me the kind of person You want me to be. Amen.

Choosing to accept Christ is cause for celebration! Whether you did it for the first time just now, or many years ago, put words to your joy by listening to Jason Gray’s song “More Like Falling in Love.” (And if it was your first time, be sure to tell someone who can help you continue to grow spiritually.)

*Note that the four key truths discussed in my recent posts were all adapted from The Four Spiritual Laws, originally compiled by Dr. Bill Bright. Click here if you would like to read them as they were originally written for the international ministry he founded called Campus Crusade for Christ (now called Cru.)

*All Scriptures in this post are from the NIV 1984 version

 

Faith Foundation #6: Inclusive Exclusivity

Neatly pressed tablecloths rustled as we walked past them on the way to our table. Starched napkins stood at attention flanked by place settings arranged with perfect symmetry. The hostess smiled as she showed us to our seats and handed us menus. A wall of windows nearby gave us a perfect view of the pristine beach where the club’s lounge chairs and umbrellas were stationed in neat rows. Beyond them, the Pacific Ocean gleamed as the sun sank low on the horizon. Although I’d seen the exclusive beach club from a distance many times, I’d never had the privilege of stepping inside it before. I felt honored to be there.

At the time, I was in college and had been invited to a birthday dinner for a friend whose parents belonged to the club. Because of her, I’d been allowed access to all of the amenities enjoyed by the members. As her guest, the staff treated me warmly and attentively.  I felt welcomed, included, and accepted, at least for the night.  I knew full well that if I’d returned the next evening on my own, I wouldn’t have been allowed past the front door.

Have you ever had a glimpse into an exclusive place that you knew you couldn’t gain access to on your own? Ever known that your only way to get acceptance was riding on the coat tails of someone with more clout than you?

Well, if you know how that feels, then I have good news for you: God made it possible for you to gain access to the one place that is more exclusive than any other.  It is a place reserved only for those who are perfect, holy and sinless. Anyone without these qualifications would simply be destroyed. Where is this place, you ask? It is in the presence of God for eternity.

If you’ve been following along, you may remember that the last few posts in my Faith Foundations series have been discussing four key truths that are crucial to understand in the Christian faith. Here’s a quick review:

  • Truth #1 God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life.
  • Truth #2 There is a problem, sin separates us from God.

Today’s post explains Truth #3: Jesus Christ is the only way we can have eternal life and experience God’s love.

Romans 5:8 explains our pitiful state and God’s solution to it: “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”  And Jesus says it clearly in John 14:6 “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”

In our pluralistic society, saying there is only one way to connect with God is outlandish and even offensive to some people.  The irony, however, is that God’s grace makes the Christian faith more inclusive than any other religion.  God knew His standard of perfection could never be reached by sinful humans. No matter how “good” we try to be, we will never be good enough to “earn” a place in heaven.  In human terms, this makes God’s “club” the most exclusive ever, with no one being allowed entrance. And yet, because of His desire to be in relationship with us, God made a way into His exclusive “club” through His Son, Jesus. For anyone seeking a direct relationship with God and hoping for eternal life in His presence, Jesus is the only conduit.  All we have to do is admit we need Jesus to save us from our sins. This is God’s grace, His free gift to us. Anything “good” we do after we accept Christ is simply an expression of our gratitude, not an act done to earn God’s love or to rack up spiritual brownie points.

Thinking back to that night I was a guest at the beach club, I smile as I remember the name of the friend who took me there: Grace. Just as my relationship with her enabled me to experience the pleasure and privilege of her parents’ exclusive club, a relationship with Jesus enables us to receive the joy and honor of knowing His Father.  Anyone that comes to God through His son receives grace, forgiveness and acceptance. He is indeed, the one true God who made a way to be inclusive despite His exclusivity.

The song “One True God” by Steven Curtis Chapman elaborates on this idea and uses some key phrases from Scripture to show Jesus as the one true path to salvation.

For further reading on this topic, consider one of the following:

  •  The Case for Christ by Lee Strobel
  •  More Than a Carpenter by Josh and Sean McDowell

Photo courtesy of www.pixabay.com, Scriptures from the NIV translation