Category: Repentance

More Like Jesus

Opening Megan Fate Marshman’s book Meant for Good: The Adventure of Trusting God & His Plans for You made me curious, but also skeptical. The cynical side of me wondered what more we could learn from two Bible passages that most Christians have heard many times: Jeremiah 29:11-13 and Romans 8:28-9. But as I delved further, I realized these Scriptures overflow with spiritual truth that we may miss at first glance.

You may be familiar with Jeremiah 29:11 since it’s often used to reassure people in times of uncertainty: “’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.’” (Jeremiah 29:11-13, NIV) 

This passage was originally written to Jewish people who had been living as exiles in Babylon. The Lord had allowed them to be carried into captivity as a consequence for their worship of idols and rebellion against Him. The hope-filled future this passage promises ties directly to the state of their hearts. As they turned back to the Lord, He would listen to them and they would be able to renew a genuine relationship with Him.

In the original Hebrew, the word “heart” describes “the most interior organ” and encompasses our minds and our inner being. Strong’s Concordance explains that the heart is the seat of desire, inclination, or will. It is also the well of emotions, knowledge, and wisdom. All of our thoughts, desires, words, and actions flow from the heart.  So, when we’re seeking God with all our hearts, our gaze is fixed steadily on Him. This is what the Lord wanted for His people when they were captives in Babylon, and it’s what He wants for us today.

Another oft-quoted verse that Megan covers in her book is Romans 8:28-9:

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.” (Romans 8:28-29, NIV)

Most of us know verse 28 well, however, reading verse 29 is essential to understanding the definition for “good” in this context. We often interpret it to mean easy, comfortable, pleasant, or favorable. For many of us, “good” is synonymous with getting what we want, when we want—or having events unfold according to our desires. However, in the original Greek, the word “good” describes that which is beneficial in its effect. One commentary explains “The things themselves may not be good, but God harmonizes them together for believers’ ultimate good, because His goal is to bring them to perfection in His presence. Even adversities and afflictions contribute to that end…this is a continuing activity of God. And His working is on behalf of ‘those who love Him,’ who are further identified as the ones who have been called according to His purpose.” 

According to Romans 8:29, the ultimate “good” in God’s purpose is for us to be more like Jesus. So, when we seek Him with all of our hearts, we trust that whatever events unfold will be used to transform us to be more like Jesus—not to make us comfortable or to make our lives easier or happier. 

At this point, you may be thinking this definition of “good” doesn’t sound very enticing. So, let me share a personal example to show how hard things can be good and can make us more like Jesus.

Three years ago, my eighty-three-year-old mom was living on her own in the house where I grew up. Her health was starting to slip, but she was stubborn and independent and had no interest in moving. Unfortunately, a series of medical issues landed her in the hospital. When she was released, she decided to move into an assisted living community near my home where she could maintain her freedom but have more support when she needed it.

Over the next two years, my mom and I found a rhythm. I managed her bills, her house, her medical appointments, and her care. I got to know her friends, her schedule, her habits, and her needs more intimately than I ever had before. My four siblings helped when they could, but the responsibility for my mom rested mostly on me. This made sense since I lived much closer than all of them. I tried hard to be gracious and understanding about my siblings’ busy lives and the many valid things that kept them from being involved more consistently. As time progressed, I even preferred handling most of my mom’s affairs on my own. It was easier and less complicated than having them opt in where and when they could. I didn’t see it at the time, but in hindsight I recognize that pride and resentment were beginning to build in me.

Two years later, when my mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and given months to live, my siblings all jumped to action, wanting to be involved and informed about every detail. They came to town often to be supportive and to spend as much time with our mom as possible. I welcomed and encouraged their involvement, but also felt some underlying anger. Suddenly I was managing my mom’s care while coordinating visiting schedules and trying to keep her house in order for them. I was feeling territorial and grasping for control amidst many disruptions in my life, but I didn’t see it at the time. Resentment was lurking beneath the surface, but I ignored it and acted like everything was fine. Still, my unacknowledged anger leaked out of me, robbing me of sleep and making me irritable and impatient with others. When I finally recognized what I was feeling, I started praying daily, asking God to take my thoughts captive and to make them obedient to Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:5) Over time, He answered those prayers, helping me to release my bitterness and resentment and to find grace and gratitude for my siblings’ presence and involvement.

 God worked through that hard season to refine me and to help me understand myself better. He conformed me to be just a bit more like Christ by exposing my pride and resentment and covering it with His grace. His goodness softened my heart and fostered healthier relationships in my family. There’s no doubt I’ll continue to grapple with those negative emotions at times. But I also know that as I seek Him, He will bring about His good purposes and continue making me more like Jesus.

The verses from Jeremiah and Romans highlighted in Meant for Good contain powerful and transformative truth. I’m excited to study them with you over the next six weeks. Let’s start by listening to Fernando Ortega’s “Lord, I Want to Be Like Jesus” and making it our prayer throughout this study.

  • Megan Fate Marshman, Meant for Good: The Adventure of Trusting God & His Plans for You, Zondervan, 2020.
  • Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible, Thomas Nelson Publishers, 2001.
  • John F. Walvoord and Roy B. Zuck, The Bible Knowledge Commentary, Victor Books, 1983, page 474.

Praying Strategically

Many of us are strategic with our schedules, our finances, and our retirement. But it’s less common to find people who are as calculated and deliberate in their prayers. Although he’s best known for rebuilding Jerusalem’s broken down walls, the prophet Nehemiah provides an excellent example of how to pray strategically. 

To give you context, the events in his story unfold about a thousand years after Moses leads the Israelites out of Egypt.  The book of Nehemiah takes place after the Jews’ seventy-year exile in Babylon. When the story opens, they’d already been allowed to return to Judah to rebuild the city of Jerusalem. Although they were free to go back, many Jews chose to remain in Babylon. Nehemiah was one of those who stayed behind to continue working as chief cupbearer in the palace of the King of Babylon. This influential position would have put him in close contact with the king daily, somewhat like a butler. Being a cupbearer to Artaxerxes was an esteemed role that was probably well paid and enabled him to live very comfortably. 

Chapter 1 opens with Nehemiah learning news about his home city of Jerusalem. He finds out, “Those who survived the exile and are back in the province are in great trouble and disgrace. The wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates have been burned with fire.” (Nehemiah 1:3, NIV)

Nehemiah’s first response after hearing this distressing news is to pray:

“Lord, the God of heaven, the great and awesome God, who keeps his covenant of love with those who love him and keep his commandments, let your ear be attentive and your eyes open to hear the prayer your servant is praying before you day and night for your servants, the people of Israel. I confess the sins we Israelites, including myself and my father’s family, have committed against you.We have acted very wickedly toward you. We have not obeyed the commands, decrees and laws you gave your servant Moses.

Remember the instruction you gave your servant Moses, saying, ‘If you are unfaithful, I will scatter you among the nations, but if you return to me and obey my commands, then even if your exiled people are at the farthest horizon, I will gather them from there and bring them to the place I have chosen as a dwelling for my Name.’

They are your servants and your people, whom you redeemed by your great strength and your mighty hand. Lord, let your ear be attentive to the prayer of this your servant and to the prayer of your servants who delight in revering your name. Give your servant success today by granting him favor in the presence of this man.” (Nehemiah 1:4-11, NIV)

Here are few things we can learn from his prayer:

-Start with Gratitude and Acknowledgement: Nehemiah opens his prayer by remembering God’s promises and His faithfulness. He recognizes the Lord’s character and sovereignty and approaches Him with humility. Try beginning your prayer time by making a point to thank God for His faithfulness in your life. Point out the character qualities you appreciate about Him. If you’ve been reassured by a specific promise or verse from the Bible, thank Him for how it encourages you in your circumstances.

-Admit Your Sin: Nehemiah takes ownership over his sin and the sins of his people. He recognizes that their exile was a direct result of their disobedience to God. He doesn’t blame the Lord for the hardships they’ve endured. Nehemiah understands that their sin over the long haul has had profound effects on them as a nation and as individuals. 

Is there a difficult situation you’re dealing with now that might be the result of long-term disobedience? Answering this may not be easy, but keep in mind that conviction from the Holy Spirit is not condemnation—it’s an opportunity to recognize and relinquish sin you’ve been harboring. Give it to God so it won’t continue to hinder your relationship with Him. Then, rest assured–we’re called to confess our sins, but God doesn’t keep a running tally. Psalm 103:12 tells us: “as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” And 1 John 1:9 promises us: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

-Know Scripture so You Can Pray God’s Will: In his prayer, Nehemiah reminds the Lord of the promises He made to Moses. Read Deuteronomy 30:1-5 and you’ll notice how similar it is to what Nehemiah says. Clearly, he knows God’s Word and claims it with authority in his prayer. He remembers the Lord’s promises from the past and applies them to his current situation. Try taking a verse, a promise, or a situation from Scripture and personalizing it for a specific circumstance you’re facing.  Discovering God’s will in His Word and asking for it to be done in your life leads to powerful and effective prayers.

-Let Your Broken Heart Prompt Prayer and Action: After hearing terrible news about his people and his homeland, Nehemiah’s first impulse is to pray. His distress brings him to his knees before God. Maybe, like Nehemiah, you’ve heard about something happening either locally or globally that breaks your heart. It’s easy to feel helpless or overwhelmed at the thought of intervening to alleviate the suffering of others. Instead of dismissing those feelings, pray and ask God to show you if there is something you can do. Pay attention to the ways He may be nudging you to respond. If you’re already involved in a cause you believe in, pray and ask God to show you how you can maximize your impact there.

-Invite God to Leverage Your Resources and Connections: Nehemiah ends his prayer by asking God to grant him favor with “this man,” referring to the king. He knows Artaxerxes has valuable resources that can be used to help his people, and he asks God to use this relationship for the good of others. Maybe, like Nehemiah, there is a relationship in your life that you could leverage. Do you know someone with power, influence, resources, or authority who could use those things for good? Pray boldly and ask God to let you find favor with that person so that He can bless others through them. (This prayer prompt and the one above could go together in certain circumstances.)

Growing in our understanding of prayer nurtures our relationship with God. Let Meredith Andrews’ song “Draw Me Nearer” be the cry of your heart today.

Spiritual Spring Cleaning

Opening the closet door, I recoiled at what I found on the other side. In the six months since we’d stowed our summer gear, a few critters had taken up residence in the dry, dark space. Thick spider webs laden with dust hung in the corners and mouse droppings were strewn across the plywood floor. Before we could enjoy a day of fun at the lake, we would have to clean out our storage locker and wipe down all of our gear.

It hadn’t taken long for the elements to have their way over the winter months. Armed with a broom and a bucket of water, we got to work killing spiders, removing webs, sweeping out droppings and dirt. The season of fun couldn’t start until we cleaned the grime off our summer toys.

As we worked, I thought about how the gradual decline into disorder had occurred. It was a perfect example of entropy. Without our regular presence there to keep things tidy, nature had taken its course. It was our responsibility to get things back in order.

The more I cleaned, the more I saw the parallel to our spiritual lives. We have great intentions and set plans in place. We commit to people and activities that will help us to grow consistently in our relationship with God. We resolve to do a variety of things to stay on track, whether it’s reading our Bibles more, saying “yes” to serving or using our spiritual gifts. We have noble intentions about being held accountable by others or eliminating behaviors and activities that don’t honor God. But somewhere along the way, we just can’t tend to all of the things we want to do and spiritual entropy sets in. Our lives default to old behaviors and thought patterns when we’re not paying attention. 

Is it time for you to do some spiritual spring cleaning? Have some of those commitments you made in September or January been pushed aside? Are you having trouble remembering the “one word” you chose to focus on this year? Take a look at the questions below and see if any of them resonate. Use the corresponding verses for encouragement to get back on track.

-How are you doing with making Bible reading a regular discipline in your day? “Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.” (Joshua 1:8, NIV)

-Are you making it a priority to gather consistently with other believers at church, Bible study and/or small group? “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:24-25, NIV)

-Is it time to clean out some unhealthy thought patterns that are influencing what comes out of your mouth? Have cynicism, negativity, gossip, foul language or criticism slipped into your conversations with more regularity? “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (Ephesians 4:29, NIV)

-Are other negative thought patterns affecting your perspective consistently? Are you holding onto bitterness, anger or malicious thoughts and letting them color your outlook? Are you withholding forgiveness from those who have hurt or offended you? “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:31-32, NIV)

-Have you stopped trying? Maybe apathy and complacency have a hold on you. Perhaps you’ve gotten comfortable with the way things are and don’t want to put yourself in situations that require effort or change. “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.” (James 1:22-24, NIV)

-Have you let busyness force you to replace the important with the urgent? “As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, ‘Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!’ ‘Martha, Martha,’ the Lord answered, ‘you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.'” (Luke 10: 38-42, NIV)

-Are you fighting against your natural inclination to critique and judge others? “Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor?” (James 4:11-12, NIV)

-Do you need to clean the cobwebs of worry out of your mind? “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?” (Luke 12:25-26, NIV)

If you’re feeling convicted, why not pray and ask God to help clear out the grime? Invite Him to partner with you in your spiritual spring cleaning. “Because of the Lord’s great love, we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22-23, NIV)

Don’t beat yourself up if you’ve defaulted to some thoughts and habits that have sidetracked you spiritually. Instead, embrace the powerful truth of “Maybe It’s Ok” by We Are Messengers.

Godly Sorrow

It was a brisk fall evening when the sport utility vehicle sped down our street, careened around an unexpected curve, lost control, and mowed down our neighbors’ mailbox. After flattening the sturdy wooden post, it was still going fast enough to plow through our front hedge and hit our parked SUV, spinning it backwards before slamming it into the corner of our house. The speeding car finally came to a stop on our front lawn. Despite the sturdiness of the vehicle, its front end was a crumpled mass of metal. The sixteen-year-old driver emerged from the mangled car without a scratch. He had been racing his buddies down our street and misjudged the turn in the dark.

As the teenage boys sat on the curb waiting for the driver’s parents and the police, they discussed the incident with great enthusiasm, seeming to revel in the excitement of having totaled not one, but two, eight-passenger vehicles. Although this incident happened many years ago, I’ll never forget the behavior of the driver and his friends. At the time of the accident, my own boys were only six and four. I can remember making them study the smashed cars carefully so that they’d remember it when they were old enough to drive.

A few minutes after the accident, the driver’s father arrived on the scene. We exchanged insurance information and he muttered, “I’m sorry this happened.” He never had his son look us in the eye and apologize. The boy didn’t return the next day to help clean up the mess in our yard or to replace our neighbor’s mailbox. I’m not sure if he learned any valuable lessons from that incident, but I know my boys did.

I was reminded of that accident as I studied the concept of repentance and godly sorrow. These aren’t very popular topics in today’s culture. It seems we’ve become a society averse to accepting responsibility for our wrongdoing, let alone labeling it as sin and seeking forgiveness. We shift blame whenever possible. Or even worse, we try to rationalize why the wrong things we’re doing are actually justified. Many in our culture want to excuse or even condone sinful behavior altogether.

No one likes to admit they’re wrong, but for those who call themselves followers of Jesus, this needs to be something we do regularly. When we humble ourselves, admit our sins and seek God’s forgiveness, He offers it freely. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9) Here’s the catch: we can’t be forgiven if we don’t acknowledge our sin.

In his second letter to the Corinthians, Paul addresses the value of godly sorrow and true repentance. Following up on a previous letter he sent that rebuked them for some sinful behaviors, he says: “Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did regret it—I see that my letter hurt you, but only for a little while—  yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.” (2 Corinthians 7:8-10, NIV)

Godly sorrow involves repenting–literally and figuratively turning away from our sins and going in a different direction. It is sorrow over the wickedness of our sins. It expresses grief, understanding the hurt we cause our heavenly Father when we engage in sin. Coming to God with a contrite heart enables us to experience the tremendous grace and forgiveness He offers us through the blood of Jesus.

Conversely, worldly sorrow is self-centered. It is focused on the painful consequences of sin, not on the offense it is to God. It is sorry the situation happened, but it accepts no blame and has no intention of changing. (Sounds like my opening story, doesn’t it?) Worldly sorrow is an apology with words, but with no heart behind it.

It’s easy to get swept up in the attitude of our culture—to want to avoid responsibility for wrongdoing or to explain it away. We receive this message subtly, but constantly. If we follow Jesus, we must be on our guards lest we get lured into this way of thinking.

When was the last time you came before God with a contrite heart, deeply troubled by the hurt you’d caused Him through your sin? It’s never too late to get down on your knees and humbly ask for forgiveness. God has so much more to offer us than the world does. The first step to discovering that is our humble repentance.

The song “Broken Vessels (Amazing Grace)” by Hillsong United captures several themes from 2 Corinthians beautifully. Using Paul’s metaphor of Christ-followers being jars of clay, it describes the gratitude we feel when we recognize God’s love and grace and turn from our sin. With simple but profound lyrics, it communicates the value of godly sorrow and repentance that leads to the fullness of life in Christ.

Kelly Minter, All Things New: A Study of 2 Corinthians, Lifeway Press 2016.

*This story was adapted from an essay that appears in my Bible study Women of the Word: The Family Tree of Jesus. Click here for more information.