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How Do You Smell?

Unlocking the front door, the pungent scent of ripe litter boxes greeted my nostrils. I’d agreed to care for a family member’s cats while she was on vacation, more out of love for her than for her two feline companions. She’d gone “nose blind” not long after adopting them and had no idea how strong their smell was in her house.

She’d instructed me to rake the litter, remove the largest clumps, and simply spray the plastic scooper with Lysol before stowing it in a bag. The combination of disinfectant and cat urine created a powerful, acrid odor that didn’t mask the smell effectively. I couldn’t bring myself to pour fresh litter on top of what was left in the boxes. Nor could I leave without getting to the root of the issue. So, holding my breath, I poured the remaining contents into a garbage bag before lugging the boxes and scooper outside to be hosed and scrubbed with bleach. I like to think the cats’ toileting experience went from the level of an unsavory gas station on a busy highway to an elite, five-star spa at the finest resort. As much as I didn’t enjoy the process, knowing the litter boxes were clean and that the source of the smell had been eliminated made me feel better (at least until the next time I cared for the cats).

I know it may sound strange, but I remembered that experience as I worked through Christine Caine’s 20/20 Bible study this week. How could I not think of strong fragrances when she emphasizes them in a detailed look at 2 Corinthians 2:14-16?

“But thanks be to God, who always leads us as captives in Christ’s triumphal procession and uses us to spread the aroma of the knowledge of him everywhere. For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To the one we are an aroma that brings death; to the other, an aroma that brings life. And who is equal to such a task?”

Caine emphasizes, “Yes, we absolutely want to be in the world, rubbing elbows with the people God brings across our path, but we also want to ensure that the aroma of Christ in us overpowers the aroma of the world around us.” (p.110-11) Later, she asks a penetrating question, “How do you smell?”

As I thought about this, I realized that much like those litter boxes, I’m prone to covering over the foul aromas coming from me rather than cleansing them at the source. I’m talking about my attitudes, behaviors, and thoughts here. For example, on the outside, I may be trying to exude a calm, unruffled demeanor while inside I’m seething with frustration and impatience. This happens most often when I try to muster the right attitude on my own instead of being still before God and asking the Holy Spirit to renew my mind. Basically I’m spraying metaphorical Lysol on behaviors and attitudes that need deep cleaning. It’s my attempt at taking a shortcut to getting the positive results I need. At the root, I’m attempting to cover over sin with human effort instead of confessing it and letting Jesus cleanse me. 

What’s convicting me lately is that my true aroma is most obvious to those closest to me. It’s like I’m “nose blind” to my unpleasant fragrances around the people who know me best: my family. When I add in emotional baggage and negative assumptions that those relationships include, I realize it’s much easier for me to spread the aroma of Christ around people I’m not related to. Hopefully I’m not the only one who finds it easier to be patient, gracious, and uncritical around individuals who don’t share my DNA.

God seems to have placed me in a season that’s forcing me to confront my “nose blindness” and to let Him clean out my spiritual litter box. For me, the last few months have been intense and have included more time around extended family as we walk through a crisis together. It’s been unpleasant to acknowledge my foul- smelling thoughts and actions. But, the Lord has convicted me that it’s time to deal with root issues causing the putrid aromas flavoring my interactions with family. It’s hard, painful work, but so worth it.

One thing gives me the strength to continue: spending time with Jesus. I love the passage in Acts that describes what the synagogue rulers realized about Peter and John: “When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus.” (Acts 4:13, NIV) Being with Jesus changed the disciples then and changes us now. Reading God’s Word and spending time in His presence transforms us to be more like Him. Jesus cleanses our putrid attitudes and behaviors and fills us with the Holy Spirit so His aroma flows out of us. 

Research reveals that “Of the five senses, smell is one of the most powerful when it comes to evoking memories. A simple odor can unleash a cascade of feelings, the aroma of coffee, the smell of wet grass, the fragrance of perfume.”* So, what aroma do people remember after they’ve spent time around you? What about your spouse, children, step-children, in-laws, grandchildren, parents, siblings, nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles, and cousins? Consider adopting the mindset of Bible teacher, Jennie Allen: “I want my private life to have been more eternally significant than my public life. Because that seems to be what God cares about most.”**

If you want to emit the aroma of Christ, start by inviting Him to show you where you’ve gone nose blind. Commit to spending time with Him consistently so that He can cleanse and change you. Take Christine Caine’s words to heart: “The more we allow God to transform us from the inside out, the more we will emit the aroma of Christ,” (p. 117)

Sidewalk Prophets’ song “Live Like That” paints a beautiful picture of a life that emits the aroma of Christ. Listen and make it your prayer today.

Christine Caine, 20/20. Seen. Chosen. Sent., Lifeway Press, 2019.

*www.exploringyourmind.com

**Jennie Allen, Instagram Post, October 6, 2020.

Photo courtesy of www.pixabay.com

The Harvest is Plentiful

“God wants us to live with…watchfulness, to look for the lost people around us.” (20/20, p. 65 ) I love the idea of becoming more attuned to people I encounter. Praying for the ability to see below the surface so I can point them toward God inspires me. But before any of us can truly see others the way Jesus does, we need to start by recognizing our own brokenness. This begins by inviting the Lord into our struggles and letting Him expose and cleanse our sins. Doing this develops humility and compassion for others. Rather than judging or condemning, we’re able to share the forgiveness, healing, hope, and love found in Christ.

John 4 includes the story of a woman Jesus met that illustrates this process:

“Now [Jesus] had to go through Samaria. So he came to a town in Samaria called Sychar, near the plot of ground Jacob had given to his son Joseph. Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, tired as he was from the journey, sat down by the well. It was about noon. When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, ‘Will you give me a drink?’

The Samaritan woman said to him, ‘You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?’ (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.)

Jesus answered her, ‘If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water…everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.‘

The woman said to him, ‘Sir, give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.‘

He told her, ‘Go, call your husband and come back.‘

I have no husband,’ she replied.

Jesus said to her, ‘You are right when you say you have no husband. The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.’ 

The woman said, ‘I know that Messiah (called Christ) is coming. When he comes, he will explain everything to us.‘

Then Jesus declared, ‘I, the one speaking to you—I am he.’” 

Let’s stop here to notice that Jesus didn’t hold back with the woman. He knew her sins but rather than condemning her, He identified Himself as the Messiah and offered her new life and lasting fulfillment through Him. And based on her response, it seems she felt drawn to the truth and love He offered:

“Then, leaving her water jar, the woman went back to the town and said to the people, ‘Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did. Could this be the Messiah?’ They came out of the town and made their way toward him…They said to the woman, ‘We no longer believe just because of what you said; now we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this man really is the Savior of the world.’” 

Take note of the woman’s reaction. The conversation she had with Jesus compelled her to share the good news with others. She’d known Him only a few minutes but was eager to introduce Him to the people of her town. She didn’t convince them to listen with her articulate arguments or deep spiritual knowledge but simply by telling her story and inviting them to meet Jesus for themselves.

Sometimes I wonder if we’ve made sharing the gospel more complicated than it needs to be. Unlike this woman, we feel we must have certain verses memorized or explanations and rebuttals ready, as if we were headed into a high school debate tournament. Or, we worry so much about offending people or being rejected that we don’t even open our mouths to share how Jesus has given us true life and fulfillment.

Let’s look at the story in John 4 one more time to see how Jesus challenged His disciples regarding the woman. They had only seen her as a Samaritan sinner, but He recognized her as a genuine seeker of truth:

“I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest. Even now the one who reaps draws a wage and harvests a crop for eternal life, so that the sower and the reaper may be glad together.”

In Mark’s gospel, Jesus expands further on this idea: “When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, ‘The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.’” (Mark 9:36-38, NIV)

Today the harvest is ripe, just as it was when Jesus spoke these words. People are lonely, hurting, and struggling–harassed and helpless with no clear sense of direction. They are longing to hear truth and to find hope. And, like the woman at the well, our honesty can open doors to share Jesus. When we’re authentic and admit our struggles, fears, and failures, we also get to share how Jesus meets us in our brokenness. We can give others a chance to find the same hope and firm foundation that carry us through even the darkest times.

Will you pray and ask God to lead you to people who are ready to hear your story and learn about the ultimate hope Jesus offers? Let Matthew West’s song “Truth Be Told” inspire you to be authentic so you can point them to Jesus.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XsZi9QT6a8

Christine Caine, 20/20: Seen. Chosen. Sent. Lifeway Press, 2019.

*Note: Selected verses were included from John 4, this is not the passage in its entirety.

Seeing with New Eyes

Handing me an envelope at the Kindergarten gate, my son scampered off to join his friends on the playground. The letter inside detailed the results of the annual vision screening conducted every fall. To my dismay, it recommended making an appointment for him to see an optometrist. Within a few weeks, he’d been fitted for glasses to correct surprisingly poor vision for someone so young. 

Our six-year-old adapted quickly and seemed unfazed by the addition of wire rimmed specs to his cute little face. The only glitch was on the soccer field, where metal frames were a safety hazard. Attempting to find a solution, my husband and I invested in an expensive set of bulky prescription sports goggles. However, our son ended up wearing them exactly one time. With all of the running and sweating he did during games, they slid around on his face and slowed him down. So, for the next six years he played soccer without glasses, preferring the challenge of poor vision to the annoyance of the goggles.

By middle school, our boy was mature enough to handle the responsibility of contact lenses and ready for the greater freedom they promised. I’ll never forget the first soccer game he played wearing them. His confidence and intensity on the field had skyrocketed. With his vision corrected, he dominated his opponents and ended up scoring two goals in that game. His coach marveled at how dramatically his play had improved as he dribbled, passed, and shot the ball. (And yes, we did feel a little guilty.)

No doubt, our physical vision impacts the way we interact with the world around us. The same is true of our emotional and spiritual vision. The lens through which we view ourselves affects everything about us: Our self-esteem, attitudes, outlooks, and relationships. Bible teacher Christine Caine explains, “When we are confident in knowing we are fully seen and fully known by God, we can see others and help them feel fully seen and fully known. When we aren’t confident in knowing He sees us, we can be tempted to behave in a way that begs attention—whether negative or positive—hoping someone else will notice us.”  I’m excited to dive into Caine’s new Bible study: 20/20: Seen. Chosen. Sent. Exploring how Jesus sees us and learning to look at others as He does will be both challenging and inspiring. 

I remember when I began understanding the impact of seeing myself as God does. It was years ago, when I was struggling with underlying depression and insecurity that had been magnified by an unhealthy relationship. A wise friend admonished me to remember that I was the beloved daughter of the King of Kings. Choosing to believe her words and let them change my outlook took time, intentionality, and even some counseling. Understanding this truth also freed me from expecting others to love and fulfill me in a way that only the Lord truly could. 

To be honest, this is an ongoing process for me–there are still days when I forget to see myself through God’s lenses and let people throw me off-kilter. Caine emphasizes, “How essential it is, then, that we come before Jesus daily and ask Him to keep the eyes of our hearts open so we can see those closest to us in the same way He does. When we feel rejected or taken for granted by our husbands, children, friends, or colleagues, we can easily default to a defensive posture and harden our hearts to shield us from being hurt. But if we allow our hearts to harden, then we will lose compassion and, therefore, lack what is required to see others as Jesus does. If we focus on protecting ourselves, we will miss others.”

If you’re ready to improve your spiritual and emotional vision, please join me through this series of posts on Caine’s book. You’ll find new focus using the Bible as your lens. Let’s start right now with a few Scriptures that remind us how God intends for us to see ourselves and others:

“See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are! But the people who belong to this world don’t recognize that we are God’s children because they don’t know him…God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.” (1 John 3:1 & 4:9-10, NLT)

As we open ourselves to receive the Lord’s lavish love, we’ll learn to let it overflow from us to bless others:

“Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us.” (1 John 4:11-12, NLT)

Seeing people through God’s eyes makes it easier to look past what divides us and enables us approach them with humility, grace, and kindness. This happens when we remember:

“God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” (Ephesians 2:8-10, NLT)

Viewing ourselves as God’s masterpieces spurs us on to do the good things He’s planned for us. Acts of kindness and service aren’t done out of obligation, but as expressions of our love for the Lord. This is all part of His plan. It’s a circular process: God’s love pours into us. We receive it and pass it on to others. As people experience His love demonstrated through us, they discover they, too, are beloved children of the King of Kings.

The song, “God So Loved” by We the Kingdom beautifully communicates God’s tremendous love for us. Enjoy this inspiring music video that captures an array of people and cultures from around the world.

Christine Caine, 20/20: Seen. Chosen. Sent., Lifeway Press, 2020, p. 13 & 26.

Craving Koinonia

CPC Student Ministries Houseboat Trip at Lake Shasta, Summer 2019

Holding my breath, I stepped out on the front porch and scurried to pick up the newspaper on my driveway. I didn’t exhale until I was back inside and had closed the door behind me. Thick smoke hung in the air from wildfires raging throughout the Bay Area. It felt like we were in an impossible situation: Going outside meant breathing unhealthy air, confining ourselves indoors meant being cut off from other people to avoid exposure to COVID-19. 

It was hard not to feel stir crazy that week. What I missed most was just being around people. In fact, that’s what’s been hardest about the many restrictions we’ve had in the last 6 months due to the pandemic. When my husband and I finally connected with our small group for an outdoor gathering after the smoke dissipated, I realized what we’ve been truly missing: Fellowship.

Although it’s not a very widely used term, fellowship is something we especially enjoy as followers of Jesus. It comes from the Greek word “koinonia” and encompasses both a spiritual and a practical component. In essence, when we are walking with God and attuned to His Spirit, we connect with others who are doing the same, whether we’ve known them for years or are meeting them for the first time. I’ve experienced this close, spiritual sense of community at small group, Bible study, and church services, as well as on mission and youth trips. Any time people gather with Jesus at the center, they discover the benefit and blessing of Christian fellowship.

We have the privilege of experiencing this dynamic when we commit to studying God’s Word with others. Gathering with believers to seek Jesus and to apply the Bible to our lives bonds us to one another. It also allows us to have rich, deep conversations. After walking with Jesus for many years, I’ve learned it doesn’t take long for the Holy Spirit living in me to recognize Himself in someone else I meet, no matter where I am. True fellowship flows naturally when people connected with God engage with one another. Koinonia doesn’t just involve being in the presence of other believers–it’s about connecting to enjoy your mutual love for Jesus. 

Here’s a glimpse from Scripture of what fellowship looked like in the early church:

“All the believers devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, and to fellowship, and to sharing in meals (including the Lord’s Supper), and to prayer.  A deep sense of awe came over them all, and the apostles performed many miraculous signs and wonders. And all the believers met together in one place and shared everything they had.  They sold their property and possessions and shared the money with those in need. They worshiped together at the Temple each day, met in homes for the Lord’s Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity—all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people. And each day the Lord added to their fellowship those who were being saved. (Acts 2:43-47, NLT)

One of my favorite aspects of this description is in the last verse–the Lord was adding to their fellowship daily those who were being saved. It wasn’t a clique or a closed system. The fellowship wasn’t for insiders or only those who already believed. This reminds me that true Christian community always has room to welcome newcomers and seekers of truth.

After being “fellowship starved” for the last six months, I’m ready to dive back into Bible study with a group this fall. It’s going to be a bit different meeting outside or on Zoom, but it’s worth it. I hope you’re not going to let COVID hold you back from doing the same. Get your fellowship tank filled by engaging with godly, gracious people on a consistent basis.

Prioritize koinonia in your weekly schedule and watch how it encourages your faith and enriches your life. I can’t say it any better than Scripture: “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:24-25, NIV)

If you haven’t found a place to plug in yet this fall, consider checking out these opportunities starting up this week at CPC Danville. Click here to view the many options available.

Let Sidewalk Prophets’ song “Come to the Table” inspire you to pursue consistent fellowship this fall.

Stopping the Spiral of Anxiety

Hanging up the phone, I took a deep breath and told myself not to overreact. My son in college had just proposed his spring break plans and was looking for our blessing. We loved that he wanted to travel to South America on a mission trip. What didn’t excite my husband and me was the location—a country that is notorious for poverty, crime, and drug cartels. Not wanting to squelch his enthusiasm, we agreed to pray about it. 

Before making the final decision, a thousand “what if” scenarios played out in our minds: What if the plane crashes? What if he’s mugged or robbed? What if he gets sick while he’s gone? What if he’s kidnapped and held for ransom? But each time we prayed, we remembered that God was sovereign, no matter what happened. Ultimately, we chose to trust the Lord and affirmed our son’s decision to go.

As the departure date drew near, the COVID-19 pandemic began spreading across the globe. Our son boarded a plane with his team and flew to South America just as the first coronavirus case was being reported there. Meanwhile back at home, the pandemic was already closing down schools, businesses, and churches. It seemed impossible not to be affected by the tension all around us.

We continued to fight anxious thoughts by entrusting our son’s wellbeing to the Lord. The texts we received from him during the trip comforted us. Our son even thanked us for not “freaking out” like some of the other students’ parents. We breathed a sigh of relief when he touched down on United States soil a week later and thanked God for protecting him and keeping us calm. The next day we had to stop ourselves from asking another series of “What if” questions when he decided to ride out spring semester on campus, in spite of the pandemic.

I’d love to say those situations were unique, but if I’m honest, I can always find a reason to be anxious. Maybe you can too. Jennie Allen says, “We keep finding new concerns to worry about and new facets to each concern, as if by constant stewing we can prepare ourselves for what’s to come. But there is a God who will give us what we need today, next week, and twenty years from now, even if our very worst nightmares come true…The enemy wants to tell us that we cannot trust God to take care of our tomorrows. But the truth is, God is in control of each and every day.” 

Maybe, like me, trusting God isn’t your first reflex. It takes time and intentional effort to retrain our minds to put Paul’s words into practice: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” (Phil 4:6-8, NIV)

Many of us don’t focus enough on what’s true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy. We’ve unintentionally trained our minds to default to anxious thoughts. Every situation presents a fresh opportunity for worry as we envision worst-case scenarios or imagine how our plans may go awry. Often this happens because we fret about the future instead of enjoying the present. Instead, we need to fight anxious thoughts by reminding ourselves of what’s true, just as Paul advises in Philippians. Here are a few biblical truths you can lean on:

  • God is good and working for our good (Romans 8:28)
  • God is for us (Romans 8:31)
  • God loves us and lives in us (1 John 4:15-16)
  • God knows what we need and provides for us (Matthew 6:32-33)

Try using this strategy Jennie Allen suggests next time you’re struggling:

Grab your anxious thought. Write it down and be as specific as possible (like my list of “what if” scenarios for my son’s mission trip).

Diagnose the thought. Ask yourself if it’s true. Look for answers in Scripture and/or ask a wise friend to help you figure it out.

Take it to God. Pray about what’s making you anxious and see how the Lord speaks to you. Take note of how the Holy Spirit may be answering you through Christian songs, Scripture, devotionals, Bible studies, sermons, blogs, and godly friends.

Make a choice. Are you going to believe God or stay stuck in your negative and anxious thought pattern? Remember, it takes intentional effort to re-route your thinking in a healthier direction.

In her devotional Jesus Calling, Sarah Young says, “Learn a new habit. Try saying ‘I trust You, Jesus,’ in response to whatever happens to you.” She explains how this practice can become a reflex that helps you to see the Lord in every situation and to acknowledge His sovereignty and control over all things. As you trust, you’ll begin to recognize how the Lord uses hard circumstances for growth opportunities.

Paul’s words in Romans provide a fitting blessing to close my final post in this series: “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 15:13, NIV)

Often anxiety springs from fretting about the future and overlooking how God is at work in the present. Let Jeremy Camp’s song “Keep Me in the Moment” help you remember to trust the Lord now and to believe that He’s sovereign over whatever the future holds.

Jennie Allen, Get Out of Your Head: A Study in Philippians, Thomas Nelson Press, 2020 , pages 135 & 140.

Sarah Young, Jesus Calling: Knowing Peace in His Presence, Thomas Nelson Press, 2004, January 4 entry.

Stopping the Spiral with Gratitude

We’ve all experienced being victims of circumstance—suffering negative consequences due to factors out of our control. Right now, the most obvious and universal example is dealing with the COVID-19 pandemic. We’re lamenting all the things we’ve lost or struggling with new routines that we don’t want to accept—like starting school online, wearing masks, and following social distancing guidelines. It’s easy and natural to focus on the negative and slip into a victim mentality, bemoaning all the activities we can’t do the way we want. 

Although we justify feeling sorry for ourselves, we may be unintentionally signaling the enemy to lure us into a victim mentality.  Addressing this line of thinking, Jennie Allen explains, “I know. It’s not comfortable to talk about. Especially since there is so much injustice in the world, and there are real victims who experience real suffering…[but] I’m talking more here about spending so much time licking our wounds that we don’t allow them to heal.” (p. 90 & 91)

Nuggets of truth like this keep popping up in Allen’s Get Out of Your Head: A Study in Philippians. The book identifies the primary enemies of our minds and the weapons God gives us to fight them. It’s been powerful using tools she identifies to stop my downward spirals and toxic thoughts.  (Check out my last five posts from this series if you haven’t read them yet.) The enemy of our minds we’ll explore today is victimhood. 

Jennie Allen explains the weapon to fight this kind of thinking: “We can choose gratefulness over victim mentality, because we are not victims of our circumstances; we are survivors, and held by God…We can center our thoughts on the certainty that, no matter what has happened to us, no matter what comes, we are upheld securely by God’s righteous right hand. And that will shift our minds toward gratitude.” (p. 91)

Paul wrote in Philippians: “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” (4:6, NIV) Usually we focus on the end of the verse that encourages us to offer our requests to God. We tend to skip over the first part that tells us to do this, “with thanksgiving.” Maybe it’s a good idea to thank the Lord for what He’s already done before we ask for something new.

Expressing gratitude to God changes our perspective. It reassures us of His faithfulness to us in the past, helping us to offer new requests with confidence. Thankfulness enables us to trust God is working for our good, even in difficult circumstances. It also reminds us of His unchanging character and directs us to notice His activity around us all the time, bringing unexpected joy. 

Thankfulness doesn’t gloss over hard circumstances, but it does help us to see them in a new light. For me, the past several weeks have abounded with opportunities to experience this. On a Friday evening recently, I sat huddled over a cell phone as a doctor delivered the unwelcome news that my mom has terminal cancer. Just two days later, I stood in the early morning light waving goodbye as my husband and older son began the long drive to Texas. Tears flowed uncontrollably for the next few hours as I began to inventory the losses in my life. I’ve been preparing for both my boys to leave for college and adjusting to having an empty nest for the first time. What I hadn’t anticipated was that their departures would coincide with the final chapter of my mom’s life. My personal world is changing in so many big ways right now that it’s hard to process.

Pausing to feel the weight of my emotions was healthy and good, but it could have easily led me into self-pity and feeling like a victim of circumstances. This overwhelming season has prompted me to lean into God for strength and to find encouragement in His Word. Mingled with the sadness are moments of deep gratitude for the ways I see the Lord working. Thankfulness has been an incredible tool to fight against the self-pity that threatens to consume me.

I’ll share just two of the many blessings that continue to fill me with gratitude lately. First is the knowledge that although my mom’s body is shutting down, her spirit is getting ready to soar. My mom knows and loves Jesus and accepted Him as her Savior many years ago. She’s getting ready to meet Him face to face and claiming the truth of one of her favorite passages in Scripture: “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4:16-18, NIV)

In addition to this huge blessing, I’m also grateful for friends who have come alongside me during this sad and stressful time. God seems to prompt different people daily to reach out to me and remind me of His loving presence and care. I’ve experienced profound comfort and tangible support from a number of individuals. I am grateful to God for the blessing of Christian community and the gift of authentic, kind friends who love me well. I understand and identify with Paul’s words to the Philippians: “I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 1:3-6, NIV)

If you’re in a hard season or struggling with COVID-related issues, you may be prone to sliding into self-pity or a victim mentality. Instead, stop and ask God to reveal Himself to you. Pray that He’ll show you one thing that can spark gratitude in you to stop your thoughts from spiraling downward. And if you want to discover hope in the Bible while experiencing Christian community, make time to join a group this fall. Invite someone else who could use encouragement too. Check out this link for a variety of online and in-person options available through CPC Danville.

Listen to “Yes I Will” by Vertical Worship and make it your prayer right now. Let it remind you to fight toxic thoughts by giving God praise.

Jennie Allen, Get Out of Your Head: A Study in Philippians, Thomas Nelson Press, 2020.

Stopping the Spiral of Isolation

Not long ago I found myself consumed with negative thoughts after a series of text messages. Hurt feelings led me to make some cynical assumptions and harsh judgements. I’d let my joy be stolen by making unhealthy and unfair comparisons. Within a few hours, the negativity felt like a weighty anchor pulling me underwater in a sea of self-pity. After floundering there for a while, I realized I needed a friend to throw me a lifeline. 

Pulling out my phone, I dashed off a quick text asking for prayer. My friend was quick to respond and even offered to meet me in person to process my feelings more. At first, I was hesitant, knowing that an in-person encounter meant I’d have to delve deeper than the few lines I’d spewed out on my phone. It didn’t take long to realize that I needed to stop isolating and get the tangle of thoughts out of my head. I needed an outsider perspective to understand why I’d spiraled to such a negative place.

Sitting in my friend’s backyard later that day, I realized the root issue wasn’t that I’d been wronged, but that I’d fallen into some sinful thought patterns. Humbled, I realized my hurt feelings were based on envy and resentment. I’d wanted to complain and have her make me feel better, instead I saw that my reaction to the texts was sinful and my thinking was faulty. What I needed to do was confess, repent, and move on from my wallowing. Connecting with my friend and processing my thoughts aloud enabled me to stop the downward spiral.

Ironically, this situation unfolded the same week I was studying the fourth enemy of our minds. In case you missed my last three posts, I’ve been working through Jennie Allen’s Get Out of Your Head: A Study in Philippians. The book identifies the primary enemies of our minds and the weapons God gives us to fight them. It’s been powerful using these tools to stop my downward spirals and toxic thoughts. So far, we’ve covered three of the six enemies of our minds: self-importance, noise, and cynicism. We learned how to fight them with humility, silence, and delight. (Check out my last three posts if you haven’t read them yet.) The fourth enemy of our minds is isolation and the weapon we need to fight it is connection.

Jennie Allen explains, “We find ourselves in a generation that has made an idol out of the very thing God is calling us away from: independence. But often when we back away from others, it’s because we’re listening to lies about our worth…We weren’t meant to be alone in the dark. Being known turns on the light. And that scares the devil. He doesn’t want us in the light because when we stay in the dark with him, he can tell us whatever he wants. No more. Use the weapon of connection, and fight with light.”

The apostle Paul models the importance of connection throughout the book of Philippians. During a two-year house arrest in Rome, he wrote this letter to the beloved people of the church he’d founded on his second missionary journey recorded in Acts 16. Let’s see what inspiration we can draw from his examples:

Connection Through Prayer: “I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now.” (Phil 1:3-5) Paul’s ongoing prayers for the believers in Philippi kept his heart connected to theirs. In the same way, when we pray with and for others it keeps us tied to them and gives us tender feelings for them.

Connection Through Shared Goals: “And because of my chains, most of the brothers and sisters have become confident in the Lord and dare all the more to proclaim the gospel without fear.” (Phil 1:14) Paul’s imprisonment motivated fellow believers to continue the work he’d started. Their mutual passion to share the good news of Jesus created a deep bond between them. In the same way, we connect with others through having mutual motivations and goals rooted in Jesus.

Connection Through Caring for Others: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” (Phil 2:3-4) Looking beyond ourselves to care for the needs of others creates powerful connection points and authentic relationships.

Connection Through Serving with Others: “For everyone looks out for their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ. But you know that Timothy has proved himself, because as a son with his father he has served with me in the work of the gospel.” (Phil 2:21-22) Timothy and Paul labored for the sake of the gospel together. Doing this bonded them like a father and son. Serving with others is a powerful way to make meaningful and lasting connections.

Connection Through Allowing Others to Serve You: “But I think it is necessary to send back to you Epaphroditus, my brother, co-worker and fellow soldier, who is also your messenger, whom you sent to take care of my needs.”  (Phil 2:25) The Philippians sent Epaphroditus to care for Paul while he was imprisoned. Paul’s willingness to allow Epaphroditus to do this created a lasting bond between them. It also strengthened Paul’s connection to the believers who had sent Epaphroditus to help him in his time of need.

Connection Through Shared Struggles: “I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death.” (Phil 3:10) Paul wanted to experience suffering to identify with Jesus. When we journey through suffering with others and the Lord, it connects us to them in deep, lasting ways.

Connection Through Shared Hope: “But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.” (Phil 3:20-21) Sharing the same hope for the future connects us to other believers and enables us to encourage one another, especially in difficult times.

Connection Through Tangible Support: “Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles. Moreover, as you Philippians know, in the early days of your acquaintance with the gospel, when I set out from Macedonia, not one church shared with me in the matter of giving and receiving, except you only; for even when I was in Thessalonica, you sent me aid more than once when I was in need.” (Phil 4:14-16) Meeting the tangible needs of others connects us to God’s greater purposes and helps us to participate in building His kingdom on earth. When we support missions and ministries beyond our community, it helps us to connect with His people throughout the world.

Connecting to others is a powerful weapon to stop the downward spiral caused by isolation. What’s one area mentioned above you’ll pray and ask God to expand in your life in the months ahead?

The first time I heard OneRepublic’s song “Connection” the lyrics struck me as being the anthem for our culture today. It paints a picture of how many people in our world are hungry for meaningful connection. If you enjoy fellowship with Jesus, let Him use you to share it with others.

Jennie Allen, Get Out of Your Head: A Study in Philippians, Thomas Nelson Press, 2020, pages 86 & 87.

All Scripture quoted from the New International Version.

Stopping the Spiral of Cynicism

I used to pride myself on being cynical. It made me feel smart because I saw past façades and was less likely to take things at face value. Like Toto the dog in The Wizard of Oz, I recognized there was a hidden truth behind the curtain that many people couldn’t see. What I didn’t realize was that cynicism also kept me from fully participating in life or experiencing a sense of belonging with others.

The Oxford English Dictionary defines a cynic as someone who “shows a disposition to disbelieve in the sincerity or goodness of human motives and actions.” Jennie Allen expands on this idea saying, “Cynicism erodes our ability to see God rightly. Cynicism at its root is a refusal to believe that God is in control and God is good. Cynicism is interpreting the world and God based on hurt you’ve experienced and the wounds that still lie gaping open. It forces you to look horizontally at people rather than vertically at God.”

So, here’s how cynicism causes us to spiral downward in our minds, “The enemy’s strategy is to flood our thoughts with visions of all that is wrong in this broken, fallen world to the point we don’t even think to look for the positive anymore. Cynicism just becomes the way we think, and we don’t even notice.” This was true of me until a Bible teacher I respected pointed out the dark side of cynicism many years ago. Since then, I’ve prayed regularly about how to keep it from being the filter for all my thoughts.

In case you missed my last two posts, I’ve been working through Jennie Allen’s Get Out of Your Head: A Study in Philippians. The book identifies the primary enemies of our minds and the weapons God gives us to fight them. It’s been powerful using these tools to stop my downward spirals and toxic thoughts. So far, we’ve covered two of the six enemies of our minds: self-importance and noise. We learned how to fight them with humility and silence. (Check out my last two posts if you haven’t read them yet.)

As with the previous enemies we explored, God provides us with a weapon to fight cynicism in our thoughts: delight. It isn’t the antidote I was anticipating, but it does make perfect sense. Allen explains, “Cynicism is destroying our ability to delight in the world around us and fully engage with others. God has an abundance of joy and delight for us, and we’re missing it with arms crossed… Cynicism puts our minds on things of this earth, and we lose hope. Beauty points our gaze toward the heavens and reminds us of hope. Cynicism crumbles in the presence of beauty.” (p. 128 & 135) This is why Scripture encourages us to focus our thoughts in a specific direction:

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.” (Philippians 4:8-9, NIV)

Consider the amount of time you spend on thoughts that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy. It’s impossible to remain cynical when we delight in these things. Our focus changes and we spiral up instead of down.

In the opening words of Psalm 19 King David paints a picture of how noticing the Lord’s creation leads us to delight in Him: “The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they reveal knowledge. They have no speech, they use no words; no sound is heard from them. Yet their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world.” (Psalm 19:1-4a, NIV)

Like David’s experience, nature spoke to me in a personal and profound way recently. For several weeks, every time I stepped outside in the morning a small bird would dart away from the topiary tree next to the front door. My presence seemed to alarm her, causing her to perch nearby watching me as I sat doing my Bible study. After a few days I noticed her pattern. Curious, I parted the tree’s branches and spied a nest with tiny blue eggs inside. A feeling of delight welled up in me as I peered at the speckled eggs and the miniature flowers woven into the nest. 

As the weeks progressed, I continued to peak between the branches. The blue eggs eventually hatched to reveal a squirming bundle of downy chicks. At first, they were quiet and sleepy, but within a few days, they woke up to the world. Each time I looked inside they would hold up their tiny beaks waiting for food as the mama hovered nearby.  And then, a few weeks later, I peaked in to discover they were gone. They’d flown away leaving behind a soiled nest and the fragment of one tiny blue egg in the dirt beneath it. It was sad, but sweet too.

I hadn’t just delighted in the birds, but in how God spoke to me through them. What I’d witnessed was an accelerated version of the journey of parenthood I’ve been on for the past 21 years. This fall, my nest will empty as my younger son leaves for college. Watching the life cycle of the baby birds comforted me—reminding me that it is good and right for grown chicks to leave the nest and fly out into the world. Even the mess they left behind showed me why they couldn’t stay there forever. (It also helped me to have a sense of humor about moments when my own child seems to “poop the nest” as he prepares to spread his wings and fly.)

Writing this helps me realize that I’ve used the first three weapons to stop negative spirals in my mind. Choosing humility enabled me to turn away from focusing on myself and my changing circumstances. Rather than grieving the end of my son’s childhood, I’m celebrating the beginning of a new chapter in our family. Choosing silence allowed me to spend those moments on my porch not only finding hope in God’s Word, but in His creation in the tree right beside me. And delighting in the eggs hatching turned me away from cynicism about some of the harder moments I’ve had with my son and reminded me that he’s ready to launch. 

Here’s what I’m realizing: putting these tools into practice works. When we humble ourselves, get quiet, and choose delight, God’s Word and His creation continually point us back to Him and we spiral up instead of down. 

Which tool will you try this week? Use what God has given you and experience the positive difference they make.

Celebrate God’s goodness with me by listening to Micah Tyler’s song “Amen”.

Jennie Allen, Get Out of Your Head: Stopping the Spiral of Toxic Thoughts, Waterbrook Press, 2020, pages, 131, 127, 128, 135. (Quotes in this post are all from this book.)

Jennie Allen, Get Out of Your Head: A Study in Philippians, Thomas Nelson Press, 2020. (This study is what has inspired this series of posts.)

Stopping the Spiral with Silence

Shooting across the boat’s wake, my waterski accelerated faster than expected. Instead of slowing down to turn around the buoy on the slalom course, I found myself catapulting headfirst into the water. Resurfacing, I swam toward the boat, feeling a bit shaken by the crash. Over the days that followed, I felt “off” but couldn’t pinpoint exactly what was wrong. Lights and sounds seemed magnified and jarring. Multi-step tasks felt confusing and difficult. I was easily irritated and upset by things that normally didn’t bother me. Looking up my symptoms online I finally realized the truth: I had a concussion.

After a visit to the doctor, I cut back on my responsibilities and limited my time in places with lots of stimuli. Going to the grocery store was too much for me. I stopped listening to music and ceased multitasking. I had to monitor time spent watching TV or working on the computer or I’d become agitated and overwhelmed. I spent significant time daily lying down in a quiet, darkened room letting my brain rest and heal. 

Because I’d ignored the warning signs from my body during the first few days after my fall, I hadn’t given my brain quiet time to rest and recover. Bombarding it with constant inputs early on slowed the healing process, causing much of my life to be put on hold for two months.

I thought of that strange season as I considered the second weapon to fight negative spirals in our minds. In case you missed last week’s post, I’ve been working through Jennie Allen’s Get Out of Your Head: A Study in Philippians. The book identifies the primary enemies of our minds and the weapons God gives us to fight them. It’s been powerful using these tools to stop my downward spirals and toxic thoughts before they go too far. 

My last post covered the first enemy of our minds: self-importance. We learned that humility is the weapon God gives us to fight against it. The second enemy of our minds highlighted in the book is noise. Not surprisingly, the weapon to fight against it is silence. Take a moment and consider all of the inputs you receive on a given day: texts, e-mails, phone calls, social media posts, podcasts, TV, radio, news, magazines, and books. I haven’t even mentioned face-to-face conversations, meetings in person or on Zoom, interactions with cashiers, fellow customers, or restaurant servers. And what about the junk mail, phone messages, bills, and solicitations you process daily? Just writing the list makes me feel overwhelmed. No doubt, the number of inputs entering our minds on any given day is staggering. There’s a lot of noise bouncing around in our brains.

Most of us have grown so accustomed to the constant barrage of information demanding our attention, we don’t realize how deeply we’re being affected by it. Jennie Allen explains, “Recognizing our spirals and naming them is the first step in interrupting them. That’s why the enemy wants to fill our lives and our heads and hearts with noise. Because silence with God is the beginning of every victory. Stillness, solitude in the presence of God, is the basis of our strategy for interrupting all kinds of problematic thought patterns…In silence we get to rewrite that pattern while taking back the power He has given us.”

I think all of us could benefit from being more cognizant of the number of inputs we receive daily. We need time to step away from the noise and give our minds and souls a rest. One of my favorite verses reinforces this idea, “The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” (Zephaniah 3:17, NIV ’84)

We consume and process an endless supply of information. And these constant inputs make us weary and often leave us feeling inadequate, overwhelmed, and anxious. But when we take time to draw near to the Lord, we allow Him to silence the noise in our heads that distracts us from Him. Letting Him quiet our spirits gives our minds rest and reminds us of His sovereignty over all things.

In fact, God spoke directly to His people about this very thing through the prophet Isaiah. He chastised them for rejecting His wisdom: “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.” (Isaiah, 30:15, NIV ’84) This passage explains that the path to salvation and strength is paved with repentance, rest, quietness, and trust. It also highlights how people often choose to ignore this truth. Sounds a lot like our culture today.

Jennie Allen suggests, “When you’re stuck in a downward spiral of discontent and distraction, get quiet. What truth will you shift your thoughts toward, in order to combat the lie that anything else can satisfy you like spending time with God?”

I love how David’s words highlight the first two weapons we’ve considered: 

“Lord, my heart is not proud; my eyes are not haughty. I don’t concern myself with matters too great or too awesome for me to grasp. Instead, I have calmed and quieted myself, like a weaned child who no longer cries for its mother’s milk. Yes, like a weaned child is my soul within me.” (Psalm 131:1-2, NLT) Humility and quiet stop negative spirals and lead us to peace and contentment.

Fight the constant noise in your life by pulling away for a few moments with the Lord. Monitor your inputs to stop the negative spirals that threaten to pull you downward. Let God realign your thoughts with the truth of His Word as you spend quiet time with Him. 

For some tips on good Scriptures to read as you spend quiet time with God, check out my recent post “Rise to Rest” by clicking here.

Jennie Allen, Get Out of Your Head: A Study in Philippians, Thomas Nelson Press, 2020, 62-63, 64

Stopping the Spiral with Humility

I’ve called it many things over the years—feeling down, being in a funk, getting triggered, having my buttons pushed, riding the rollercoaster. Now, thanks to Jennie Allen’s book Get Out of Your Head, I have a new name for it: spiraling. Let me paint a picture of it for you.

Imagine you have an interaction with another person that sparks an emotion. Let’s say you feel hurt, which leads to a thought like, “I’m worthless, no one cares about me.” Your emotions spiral downward, affecting your behavior. Attempting to shield yourself from further hurt, you withdraw not only from this person, but from others as well. This behavior, in turn, affects your relationships. People you know feel ignored or rejected by your withdrawal. Your connection with them weakens, causing strained relationships as a consequence. You find yourself isolated and wallowing in hurt, validating your feelings of worthlessness.

It doesn’t have to be this way. Allen explains that spirals can progress in one of two directions, they can go “up toward God, or downward toward the thing we’re fixating on.”1 The progression follows a predictable pattern: emotions trigger thoughts which lead to behaviors that affect relationships that lead to consequences. However, we can learn “to choose thoughts that conform to the mind of Christ”2 and when we do this, “we start seeing better behaviors, better relationships, and better consequences.”3 So, our downward spirals begin to flip upward when we choose to focus on God.

For the past few weeks I’ve been working through Jennie Allen’s Get Out of Your Head: A Study in Philippians. The book identifies the primary enemies of our minds and the weapons God gives us to fight them. I’ve been able to practice what I’m learning with real-life challenges on a regular basis. It’s been powerful using these tools to stop my downward spirals before they go too far. Because it’s been beneficial to me, I’d love to share it with you. If you’re intrigued, consider picking up a copy of the study to do on your own, or with friends.

Self-Importance vs. Humility

The first enemy of our minds highlighted in the book is self-importance. It’s the sense of entitlement that makes us think we deserve special treatment. Allen explains, “We’re fed a continuous message of how much we matter, how very important we are—but in the long run, our urge to protect ourselves and promote our own awesomeness leads to more separation, more disillusionment with each other, and more insecurity and fruitless comparison.”4 Allen explains, “lasting joy will come only when God is in the center.”5 When we put God where He belongs, we rest in His power, not our own. The weapon we use to fight self-importance is humility. Consider this wisdom from Scripture:

Philippians 2:3-4 “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” Self-importance is rooted in selfish ambition and conceit. So, when we value others above ourselves and look to their interests, this diffuses the inflated view of self that sent us spiraling downward in the first place. 

Ephesians 4:2 “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” It’s impossible to be harsh and gentle at the same time. When someone hurts us and we choose to bear with them in love, we recognize their value, in spite of their offensive behavior. Patience keeps us from making a rash judgement, overreacting, or lashing out in our pain.

1 Peter 5:5b-7 “All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, ‘God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.’ Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” When we’re anxious, worried, or upset, the wise choice is to cast those negative emotions at the foot of the cross. Entrusting them to God keeps us from striking back pridefully and assuming we’re right and the other person is wrong. If God opposes the proud, the wise response is to choose humility. This stops the negative spiral and shows the Lord we trust Him to work out the situation in whatever way He deems best. 

Psalm 25:9 “He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way.” When we’re experiencing negative emotions and we decide to share them with the Lord, we leave room for Him to show us the healthiest response. A humble heart is a teachable heart.

Imagine how the scenario I described earlier would look if we used the weapon of humility: You have an interaction with another person that sparks an emotion. You feel hurt. You decide to respond with humility. Choosing humility leads to a thought like, “Wow, that person must be having a bad day. Sometimes I say hurtful things that I don’t mean when I’m in a foul mood too. I’m not going to take that personally.” The emotion spirals upward, affecting your behavior. You give the person grace by assuming the best rather than nursing hurt feelings. This behavior, in turn, affects your relationships. Those you know appreciate your tendency to give the most generous explanation for others’ behavior. Your connection to people strengthens, which leads to positive consequences. Your relationships become healthier and you find yourself feeling grateful for the people in your life. You thank God for humbling you enough to see you’re as prone to sin as the one who offended you. Like the psalmist, you pray, “O God, you know my folly; the wrongs I have done are not hidden from you.” (Psalm 69:5, ESV)

If you find your emotions taking the lead and causing you to spin downward, remember you have a choice. Stop the spiral by using the weapon of humility. Spend time focusing on the wisdom of the verses above. Then, pray and ask God to give you the humility you need to focus on Him instead of your feelings.

Let Natalie Grant’s song “My Weapon” empower and inspire you today.

Jennie Allen, Get Out of Your Head: A Study in Philippians, Thomas Nelson Press, 2020. 1. Page 40 2. Page 42 3. Page 42 4. Page 60 5. Page 60