Tag: 1 John 1:9

Don’t Compensate, Confess

True story: many years ago I received a bouquet from the leader of a group I’d been serving. Although I love flowers and accepted them with a smile, I threw them away as soon as I got home. I’d been hurt repeatedly by the person who presented them to me, so her grand gesture in front of others felt hollow and forced. The flowers were like salt being poured into a gaping wound that she had created. It took a long time and some good counseling to to work through the hurt and bitterness I felt.

Can you relate to my reaction? Have you ever had a relationship with someone who struggled with apologizing? Maybe they tried to compensate for hurting you by giving you gifts, paying you compliments, or offering kind gestures. Whatever they did, it probably didn’t improve your relationship the way admitting they were wrong and asking forgiveness would have.

It doesn’t feel good when people hurt us and then try to “make nice.” Does it surprise you to know that God feels the same way? Consider this passage from Haggai:

“This is what the Lord Almighty says: ‘Ask the priests what the law says: If someone carries consecrated meat in the fold of their garment, and that fold touches some bread or stew, some wine, olive oil or other food, does it become consecrated?’”

The priests answered, “No.”

Then Haggai said, “If a person defiled by contact with a dead body touches one of these things, does it become defiled?”

“Yes,” the priests replied, “it becomes defiled.”

 Then Haggai said, “‘So it is with this people and this nation in my sight,’ declares the Lord. ‘Whatever they do and whatever they offer there is defiled.” (Haggai 2:11-14, NIV)

This somewhat strange example illustrates a hard truth: Our sin not only hurts God, it repulses Him. One commentary explains, “disobedience renders even sacrificial worship unacceptable.”1 Just as a kind gesture doesn’t replace an authentic apology, doing good things to honor the Lord doesn’t compensate for our sin. Approaching Him without confessing our sins hinders our connection to Him.

The prophet Isaiah explains how sin blocks our communication with God: “Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear. But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear.” (Isaiah 59:1-2, NIV) Although confessing our sins may feel uncomfortable, it’s vital for keeping the lines of communication open with God.

Let’s pause for a moment to clarify what sin is. In ancient Greek it means “to miss the mark” and in ancient Hebrew it means “to go astray.” In archery whether an arrow veers from the bullseye by a millimeter or a foot, it still misses. The Bible says we’ve all missed the mark of perfection that God requires: “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23, NIV)

This isn’t just about sins that show on the outside that we consider “big” like murder or adultery. We also fall short by smaller, hidden sins like harboring bitterness, envy, jealousy, and unforgiveness. Being prideful and unwilling to admit we’re wrong are also quiet but destructive sins. 

Our culture doesn’t like to talk about sin or even to acknowledge its existence. But for those who follow Christ, it’s important to remember that our forgiveness was bought at a massive cost. Sin is so bad Jesus came to earth and died to pay for it. Admitting we’re sinners and accepting Jesus’ sacrifice for us on the cross is the only way to compensate for our sin.

There are two elements to forgiveness we need to keep in mind. First is positional forgiveness: “In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace.” (Ephesians 1:7, NIV) This happens when we accept Christ’s death on the cross to pay the penalty for our sins. Acknowledging that we’re sinners and accepting Jesus’ death on the cross as the punishment for our sins eliminates the barrier of sin that kept us from connecting to God personally.

This amazing truth can be confusing, however. We all know that even after accepting Christ, sin is still a factor in our lives. Because of this, we need to be intentional about examining our hearts and actions regularly. Confessing to God when we’ve sinned against Him enables us to receive relational forgiveness. Jennifer Rothschild explains, “He doesn’t love you less because you sin. Rather, He loves you too much to let you stay there.”2 Scripture reassures us: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9, NIV) So, positional forgiveness is a one-time event that redeems our sinful state, saving us from God’s wrath and eternal judgement. On the other hand, relational forgiveness restores fellowship with God and purifies us from our ongoing sins.

Take a few minutes and consider: Is there an action or attitude that might be blocking your connection to God right now? Are you covering over sin and trying to compensate for it instead of confessing it? Perhaps you’re serving God in a specific ministry while harboring sinful thoughts and attitudes. Maybe you’re involved in “doing good” for others but overlooking the ways you’re hurting people closest to you. If you’re trying to cover the stench of sin instead of cleaning it out, be honest with yourself and God. 

Jennifer Rothschild encourages us: “Our personal purity of heart not only honors God and gives our obedience greater significance, it can be an influence for good to all we encounter…through Christ’s grace and strength, we can maintain pure motives and pure hearts not only for our sakes, but for God’s glory and others’ protection.”2

Confession and repentance may feel difficult and even frightening at times, but Scripture tells us they bring refreshment to us: “Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.” (Acts 3:19, NIV)

Listen to “Come to the Altar” and let it prompt you to stop ignoring the sin God wants to cleanse from your life so you can enjoy close fellowship with Him again. Click here to listen.

1. Walvoord and Zuck, The Bible Knowledge Commentary, Victor Books ©1985, 1543.

2. Jennifer Rothschild, Take Courage: A Study of Haggai, Lifeway Press 2020, 156 & 159.

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Forgive Us Our Debts

It was a brisk fall evening when the sport utility vehicle sped down our street, lost control around a curve, and mowed down our neighbors’ mailbox. After flattening the wooden post, it was still going fast enough to plow through a hedge and hit our parked SUV, spinning it backwards before slamming it into our garage. The speeding car finally came to a stop on our front lawn. Despite the sturdiness of the vehicle, its front end was a crumpled mass of metal. The sixteen-year-old driver emerged from the mangled car without a scratch. He had been racing his buddies down our street and misjudged the turn in the dark.

As the teenage boys sat on the curb waiting for the driver’s parents and the police, they discussed the incident with great enthusiasm, seeming to revel in the excitement of having totaled not one, but two, eight-passenger vehicles. Although this incident happened many years ago, I’ll never forget the behavior of the driver and his friends; their lack of remorse was stunning. At the time of the accident, my own boys were only six and four. I can remember making them study the smashed cars carefully so that they’d remember the incident when they were old enough to drive.

A few minutes later, the driver’s father arrived on the scene. We exchanged insurance information and he muttered, “I’m sorry this happened.” He never prompted his son look us in the eye and apologize. The boy didn’t return the next day to help clean up the mess in our yard or to replace our neighbor’s mailbox. I’m not sure if he learned any valuable lessons from that incident.

I was reminded of that event as I read the fourth phrase in the Lord’s Prayer this week: “And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” (Matthew 6:12, NIV) Some faith traditions use the terms “trespasses” instead of “debts,” but the concept is the same. In this part of the prayer, Jesus models the importance of identifying and confessing our sins. 

 This isn’t a popular topic in today’s culture. It seems we’ve become a society averse to accepting responsibility for our wrongdoing, let alone labeling it as sin and seeking forgiveness. We shift blame whenever possible. Or even worse, we try to rationalize why the wrong things we’re doing are actually justified. Many in our culture want to excuse or even condone sinful behavior altogether.

To clarify: Sin comes in all forms and includes anything that misses the mark of God’s perfection. Many of us recognize “big” sins like murder, but we don’t realize that God is just as offended by “small” sins that may go unnoticed. As we read the Bible, the Lord convicts us of wrongdoing so we can confess, repent, and return to a right relationship with Him. If you’re not sure how to identify sin, check out Ephesians 5:1-20, Galatians 5:13-26, and James 2:8-17 for a sampling of actions and attitudes that do and don’t please God. This may feel awkward and uncomfortable, but read them prayerfully and be open to what the Lord reveals to you.

No one likes to admit they’re wrong, but for those who call themselves followers of Jesus, this needs to be something we do regularly. When we humble ourselves, admit our sins and seek God’s forgiveness, He offers it freely. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9, NIV) Here’s the catch: we can’t be forgiven personally if we don’t acknowledge our sin.

In his second letter to the Corinthians, Paul addresses the value of godly sorrow and true repentance. Following up on a previous letter he sent that rebuked them for some sinful behaviors, he says: “Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did regret it—I see that my letter hurt you, but only for a little while— yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.” (2 Corinthians 7:8-10, NIV)

Godly sorrow involves repenting–turning away from our sins and going in a different direction. It is grief over the wickedness of our sins. It expresses sadness, understanding the hurt we cause our heavenly Father when we engage in sin. Coming to God with a contrite heart enables us to experience the tremendous grace and forgiveness He offers us through the blood of Jesus.

Conversely, worldly sorrow is self-centered. It is focused on the painful consequences of sin, not on the offense it is to God. It is sorry the situation happened, but it accepts no blame and has no intention of changing. (Sounds like my opening story, doesn’t it?) Worldly sorrow is an apology with words with the goal of placating the offended party, but with no remorse behind it.

It’s easy to get swept up in the attitude of our culture—to want to avoid responsibility for wrongdoing or to explain it away. We receive this message subtly, but constantly. If we follow Jesus, we must be on our guards lest we get lured into this way of thinking.

When was the last time you came before God with a contrite heart, deeply troubled by the hurt you’d caused Him through your sin? It’s never too late to pray and humbly ask for forgiveness. God has so much more to offer us than the world does. The first step to discovering that is our humble repentance.

Cody Carnes’ song “Run to the Father” paints a beautiful picture of the mercy and grace that await us when we confess our sin and seek the Lord’s forgiveness. Jesus already paid the price for it, don’t let your pride hold you back from receiving it.

Praying Strategically

Many of us are strategic with our schedules, our finances, and our retirement. But it’s less common to find people who are as calculated and deliberate in their prayers. Although he’s best known for rebuilding Jerusalem’s broken down walls, the prophet Nehemiah provides an excellent example of how to pray strategically. 

To give you context, the events in his story unfold about a thousand years after Moses leads the Israelites out of Egypt.  The book of Nehemiah takes place after the Jews’ seventy-year exile in Babylon. When the story opens, they’d already been allowed to return to Judah to rebuild the city of Jerusalem. Although they were free to go back, many Jews chose to remain in Babylon. Nehemiah was one of those who stayed behind to continue working as chief cupbearer in the palace of the King of Babylon. This influential position would have put him in close contact with the king daily, somewhat like a butler. Being a cupbearer to Artaxerxes was an esteemed role that was probably well paid and enabled him to live very comfortably. 

Chapter 1 opens with Nehemiah learning news about his home city of Jerusalem. He finds out, “Those who survived the exile and are back in the province are in great trouble and disgrace. The wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates have been burned with fire.” (Nehemiah 1:3, NIV)

Nehemiah’s first response after hearing this distressing news is to pray:

“Lord, the God of heaven, the great and awesome God, who keeps his covenant of love with those who love him and keep his commandments, let your ear be attentive and your eyes open to hear the prayer your servant is praying before you day and night for your servants, the people of Israel. I confess the sins we Israelites, including myself and my father’s family, have committed against you.We have acted very wickedly toward you. We have not obeyed the commands, decrees and laws you gave your servant Moses.

Remember the instruction you gave your servant Moses, saying, ‘If you are unfaithful, I will scatter you among the nations, but if you return to me and obey my commands, then even if your exiled people are at the farthest horizon, I will gather them from there and bring them to the place I have chosen as a dwelling for my Name.’

They are your servants and your people, whom you redeemed by your great strength and your mighty hand. Lord, let your ear be attentive to the prayer of this your servant and to the prayer of your servants who delight in revering your name. Give your servant success today by granting him favor in the presence of this man.” (Nehemiah 1:4-11, NIV)

Here are few things we can learn from his prayer:

-Start with Gratitude and Acknowledgement: Nehemiah opens his prayer by remembering God’s promises and His faithfulness. He recognizes the Lord’s character and sovereignty and approaches Him with humility. Try beginning your prayer time by making a point to thank God for His faithfulness in your life. Point out the character qualities you appreciate about Him. If you’ve been reassured by a specific promise or verse from the Bible, thank Him for how it encourages you in your circumstances.

-Admit Your Sin: Nehemiah takes ownership over his sin and the sins of his people. He recognizes that their exile was a direct result of their disobedience to God. He doesn’t blame the Lord for the hardships they’ve endured. Nehemiah understands that their sin over the long haul has had profound effects on them as a nation and as individuals. 

Is there a difficult situation you’re dealing with now that might be the result of long-term disobedience? Answering this may not be easy, but keep in mind that conviction from the Holy Spirit is not condemnation—it’s an opportunity to recognize and relinquish sin you’ve been harboring. Give it to God so it won’t continue to hinder your relationship with Him. Then, rest assured–we’re called to confess our sins, but God doesn’t keep a running tally. Psalm 103:12 tells us: “as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” And 1 John 1:9 promises us: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

-Know Scripture so You Can Pray God’s Will: In his prayer, Nehemiah reminds the Lord of the promises He made to Moses. Read Deuteronomy 30:1-5 and you’ll notice how similar it is to what Nehemiah says. Clearly, he knows God’s Word and claims it with authority in his prayer. He remembers the Lord’s promises from the past and applies them to his current situation. Try taking a verse, a promise, or a situation from Scripture and personalizing it for a specific circumstance you’re facing.  Discovering God’s will in His Word and asking for it to be done in your life leads to powerful and effective prayers.

-Let Your Broken Heart Prompt Prayer and Action: After hearing terrible news about his people and his homeland, Nehemiah’s first impulse is to pray. His distress brings him to his knees before God. Maybe, like Nehemiah, you’ve heard about something happening either locally or globally that breaks your heart. It’s easy to feel helpless or overwhelmed at the thought of intervening to alleviate the suffering of others. Instead of dismissing those feelings, pray and ask God to show you if there is something you can do. Pay attention to the ways He may be nudging you to respond. If you’re already involved in a cause you believe in, pray and ask God to show you how you can maximize your impact there.

-Invite God to Leverage Your Resources and Connections: Nehemiah ends his prayer by asking God to grant him favor with “this man,” referring to the king. He knows Artaxerxes has valuable resources that can be used to help his people, and he asks God to use this relationship for the good of others. Maybe, like Nehemiah, there is a relationship in your life that you could leverage. Do you know someone with power, influence, resources, or authority who could use those things for good? Pray boldly and ask God to let you find favor with that person so that He can bless others through them. (This prayer prompt and the one above could go together in certain circumstances.)

Growing in our understanding of prayer nurtures our relationship with God. Let Meredith Andrews’ song “Draw Me Nearer” be the cry of your heart today.

Godly Sorrow

It was a brisk fall evening when the sport utility vehicle sped down our street, careened around an unexpected curve, lost control, and mowed down our neighbors’ mailbox. After flattening the sturdy wooden post, it was still going fast enough to plow through our front hedge and hit our parked SUV, spinning it backwards before slamming it into the corner of our house. The speeding car finally came to a stop on our front lawn. Despite the sturdiness of the vehicle, its front end was a crumpled mass of metal. The sixteen-year-old driver emerged from the mangled car without a scratch. He had been racing his buddies down our street and misjudged the turn in the dark.

As the teenage boys sat on the curb waiting for the driver’s parents and the police, they discussed the incident with great enthusiasm, seeming to revel in the excitement of having totaled not one, but two, eight-passenger vehicles. Although this incident happened many years ago, I’ll never forget the behavior of the driver and his friends. At the time of the accident, my own boys were only six and four. I can remember making them study the smashed cars carefully so that they’d remember it when they were old enough to drive.

A few minutes after the accident, the driver’s father arrived on the scene. We exchanged insurance information and he muttered, “I’m sorry this happened.” He never had his son look us in the eye and apologize. The boy didn’t return the next day to help clean up the mess in our yard or to replace our neighbor’s mailbox. I’m not sure if he learned any valuable lessons from that incident, but I know my boys did.

I was reminded of that accident as I studied the concept of repentance and godly sorrow. These aren’t very popular topics in today’s culture. It seems we’ve become a society averse to accepting responsibility for our wrongdoing, let alone labeling it as sin and seeking forgiveness. We shift blame whenever possible. Or even worse, we try to rationalize why the wrong things we’re doing are actually justified. Many in our culture want to excuse or even condone sinful behavior altogether.

No one likes to admit they’re wrong, but for those who call themselves followers of Jesus, this needs to be something we do regularly. When we humble ourselves, admit our sins and seek God’s forgiveness, He offers it freely. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9) Here’s the catch: we can’t be forgiven if we don’t acknowledge our sin.

In his second letter to the Corinthians, Paul addresses the value of godly sorrow and true repentance. Following up on a previous letter he sent that rebuked them for some sinful behaviors, he says: “Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did regret it—I see that my letter hurt you, but only for a little while—  yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.” (2 Corinthians 7:8-10, NIV)

Godly sorrow involves repenting–literally and figuratively turning away from our sins and going in a different direction. It is sorrow over the wickedness of our sins. It expresses grief, understanding the hurt we cause our heavenly Father when we engage in sin. Coming to God with a contrite heart enables us to experience the tremendous grace and forgiveness He offers us through the blood of Jesus.

Conversely, worldly sorrow is self-centered. It is focused on the painful consequences of sin, not on the offense it is to God. It is sorry the situation happened, but it accepts no blame and has no intention of changing. (Sounds like my opening story, doesn’t it?) Worldly sorrow is an apology with words, but with no heart behind it.

It’s easy to get swept up in the attitude of our culture—to want to avoid responsibility for wrongdoing or to explain it away. We receive this message subtly, but constantly. If we follow Jesus, we must be on our guards lest we get lured into this way of thinking.

When was the last time you came before God with a contrite heart, deeply troubled by the hurt you’d caused Him through your sin? It’s never too late to get down on your knees and humbly ask for forgiveness. God has so much more to offer us than the world does. The first step to discovering that is our humble repentance.

The song “Broken Vessels (Amazing Grace)” by Hillsong United captures several themes from 2 Corinthians beautifully. Using Paul’s metaphor of Christ-followers being jars of clay, it describes the gratitude we feel when we recognize God’s love and grace and turn from our sin. With simple but profound lyrics, it communicates the value of godly sorrow and repentance that leads to the fullness of life in Christ.

Kelly Minter, All Things New: A Study of 2 Corinthians, Lifeway Press 2016.

*This story was adapted from an essay that appears in my Bible study Women of the Word: The Family Tree of Jesus. Click here for more information.

Godly Sorrow- Women of the Word Part 8

It’s easy to get swept up in the attitude of our culture—to want to avoid responsibility for wrongdoing or to explain it away. We receive this message subtly, but constantly. If we follow Jesus, we must be on our guards lest we get lured into this way of thinking.

Release Form

It was a brisk fall evening when the sport utility vehicle sped down our street, careened around an unexpected curve, lost control and mowed down our neighbors’ mailbox. Despite flattening the sturdy wooden post, it was going fast enough to plow through our front hedge and hit our parked SUV, spinning it backwards before slamming it into the corner of our house. The speeding car finally came to a stop on our front lawn. Despite the sturdiness of the vehicle, its front end was a crumpled mass of metal. The sixteen-year-old driver emerged from the mangled car without a scratch. He had been racing his buddies down our street and misjudged the turn in the dark.

As the teenage boys sat on the curb waiting for the driver’s parents and the police, they discussed the incident with great enthusiasm, seeming to revel in the excitement of having totaled not one, but two, eight passenger vehicles. Although this incident happened many years ago, I’ll never forget the behavior of the driver and his friends. At the time of the accident, my own boys were only six and four. I can remember making them study the smashed cars carefully so that they’d remember it when they were old enough to drive (one of them now is).

A few minutes after the accident, the driver’s father arrived on the scene. We exchanged insurance information and he muttered, “I’m sorry this happened.” He never had his son look us in the eye and apologize. The boy didn’t return the next day to help clean up the mess in our yard or to replace our neighbor’s mailbox. I’m not sure if he learned any valuable lessons from that incident, but I know my boys did.

I was reminded of that accident this week as I studied the concept of repentance and godly sorrow. These aren’t very popular topics in today’s culture. It seems we’ve become a society averse to accepting responsibility for our mistakes, let alone labeling them as sin and seeking forgiveness. We shift blame whenever possible. Or even worse, we try to rationalize why the wrong things we’re doing are actually justified.  Many in our culture want to excuse or even condone sinful behavior altogether.

No one likes to admit they’re wrong, but for those who call themselves followers of Jesus, this needs to be something we do regularly. When we humble ourselves, admit our sins and seek God’s forgiveness, He offers it freely. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9, NIV) Here’s the catch: we can’t be forgiven if we don’t acknowledge our sin.

King David provides a great example of one who tried to avoid responsibility for his sins.  You might remember when he committed adultery with Bathsheba, got her pregnant and then tried to avoid the the truth by ensuring her husband would be killed in battle (see 1 Samuel 11 & 12 for the story). When the prophet Nathan confronted him, he finally admitted his sin and sought forgiveness, prompting him to write Psalm 51.

“My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise.” (Psalm 51:17, NIV)

David finally accepted responsibility for his actions and admitted he was broken by his sin. He acknowledged that what he had done was wrong. He approached God with humility and sorrow over his grievous behavior. And God forgave him.

We see a similar theme of the “contrite heart” in the apostle Paul’s writing:

“Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.” (2 Corinthians 7:10, NIV)

Godly sorrow involves repenting–literally and figuratively turning away from our sins and going a different direction.   It is sorrow over the wickedness of our sins. It expresses grief, understanding the hurt we cause our heavenly Father when we engage in sin. Coming to God with a contrite heart enables us to experience the tremendous grace and forgiveness He offers us through the blood of Jesus.

Conversely, worldly sorrow is self-centered. It is focused on the painful consequences of sin, not on the offense it is to God.   It is sorry the situation happened, but accepts no blame and has no intention of changing. (Sounds like my opening story, doesn’t it?) Worldly sorrow is an apology with words, but with no heart behind it.

It’s easy to get swept up in the attitude of our culture—to want to avoid responsibility for wrongdoing or to explain it away. We receive this message subtly, but constantly.  If we follow Jesus, we must be on our guards lest we get lured into this way of thinking.

When was the last time you came before God with a contrite heart, deeply troubled by the hurt you’d caused Him through your sin? It’s never too late to get down on your knees and humbly ask for forgiveness. God has so much more to offer us than the world does. The first step to discovering that is our humble repentance.

Casting Crowns wrote a song based on David’s words in Psalm 103 that describe how God sees our sins once we confess them. Click on the link and be encouraged by “East to West.”
Continue reading “Godly Sorrow- Women of the Word Part 8”

Godly Sorrow

No one likes to admit they’re wrong, but for those who call themselves followers of Jesus, this needs to be something we do regularly. When we humble ourselves, admit our sins and seek God’s forgiveness, He offers it freely. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9, NIV) Here’s the catch: we can’t be forgiven if we don’t acknowledge our sin.

Release Form

It was a brisk fall evening when the sport utility vehicle sped down our street, careened around an unexpected curve, lost control and mowed down our neighbors’ mailbox. Despite flattening the sturdy wooden post, it was going fast enough to plow through our front hedge and hit our parked SUV, spinning it backwards before slamming it into the corner of our house. The speeding car finally came to a stop on our front lawn. Despite the sturdiness of the vehicle, its front end was a crumpled mass of metal. The sixteen-year-old driver emerged from the mangled car without a scratch. He had been racing his buddies down our street and misjudged the turn in the dark.

As the teenage boys sat on the curb waiting for the driver’s parents and the police, they discussed the incident with great enthusiasm, seeming to revel in the excitement of having totaled not one, but two, eight passenger vehicles. Although this incident happened ten years ago, I’ll never forget the behavior of the driver and his friends. At the time of the accident, my own boys were only six and four. I can remember making them study the smashed cars carefully so that they’d remember it when they were old enough to drive (one of them now is).

A few minutes after the accident, the driver’s father arrived on the scene. We exchanged insurance information and he muttered, “I’m sorry this happened.” He never had his son look us in the eye and apologize. The boy didn’t return the next day to help clean up the mess in our yard or to replace our neighbor’s mailbox. I’m not sure if he learned any valuable lessons from that incident, but I know my boys did.

I was reminded of that accident this week as I studied the concept of repentance and godly sorrow. These aren’t very popular topics in today’s culture. It seems we’ve become a society averse to accepting responsibility for our mistakes, let alone labeling them as sin and seeking forgiveness. We shift blame whenever possible. Or even worse, we try to rationalize why the wrong things we’re doing are actually justified.  Many in our culture want to excuse or even condone sinful behavior altogether.

No one likes to admit they’re wrong, but for those who call themselves followers of Jesus, this needs to be something we do regularly. When we humble ourselves, admit our sins and seek God’s forgiveness, He offers it freely. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9, NIV) Here’s the catch: we can’t be forgiven if we don’t acknowledge our sin.

King David provides a great example of one who tried to avoid responsibility for his sins.  You might remember when he committed adultery with Bathsheba, got her pregnant and then tried to avoid the the truth by ensuring her husband would be killed in battle (see 1 Samuel 11 & 12 for the story). When the prophet Nathan confronted him, he finally admitted his sin and sought forgiveness, prompting him to write Psalm 51.

“My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise.” (Psalm 51:17, NIV)

David finally accepted responsibility for his actions and admitted he was broken by his sin. He acknowledged that what he had done was wrong. He approached God with humility and sorrow over his grievous behavior. And God forgave him.

We see a similar theme of the “contrite heart” in the apostle Paul’s writing:

“Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.” (2 Corinthians 7:10, NIV)

Godly sorrow involves repenting–literally and figuratively turning away from our sins and going a different direction.   It is sorrow over the wickedness of our sins. It expresses grief, understanding the hurt we cause our heavenly Father when we engage in sin. Coming to God with a contrite heart enables us to experience the tremendous grace and forgiveness He offers us through the blood of Jesus.

Conversely, worldly sorrow is self-centered. It is focused on the painful consequences of sin, not on the offense it is to God.   It is sorry the situation happened, but accepts no blame and has no intention of changing. (Sounds like my opening story, doesn’t it?) Worldly sorrow is an apology with words, but with no heart behind it.

It’s easy to get swept up in the attitude of our culture—to want to avoid responsibility for wrongdoing or to explain it away. We receive this message subtly, but constantly.  If we follow Jesus, we must be on our guards lest we get lured into this way of thinking.

When was the last time you came before God with a contrite heart, deeply troubled by the hurt you’d caused Him through your sin? It’s never too late to get down on your knees and humbly ask for forgiveness. God has so much more to offer us than the world does. The first step to discovering that is our humble repentance.

Casting Crowns wrote a song based on David’s words in Psalm 103 that describe how God sees our sins once we confess them. Click on the link and be encouraged by “East to West.”