Tears welled up in my eyes as I rounded the corner onto my street and spied my front porch. Two small Christmas trees with twinkling lights stood on either side of the door, replacing fall pumpkins that had been there when I left. Pulling into the driveway, I felt physically and emotionally depleted. The previous five days had been consumed with sifting through the contents of my childhood home–44 years worth of our family’s belongings. Decorating for Christmas had been the last thing on my mind.
Losing my mom to cancer in October has created a significant life shift for me. After dealing with the initial shock and grief of her passing, my siblings and I focused our energy on planning a family graveside service and an online celebration of her life. Once those events passed, the dread of dealing with her affairs and belongings became a reality. So, as my neighbors hung lights on their houses and brought trees inside to decorate, I began meeting my sister daily to clean out our mom’s house. The project drained me and required all of the time and energy I would normally focus on preparing for Christmas. I didn’t realize how depleted I was until the end of that first week when I arrived home and saw the Christmas trees outside our door. My husband had ushered in the holiday cheer I couldn’t seem to find on my own. The sight of the twinkling trees brought comfort and tears of gratitude in the midst of heavy grief.
Later, as we decorated the tree inside, the contrasting events of the week overwhelmed me, and the tears started flowing again. Soon, I was crying too hard to hang ornaments. Abandoning the tree, I sank onto the couch, laid my head on my husband’s chest and sobbed. It had been tricky balancing my grief, sorting the belongings in my childhood home, and launching into the Christmas season without my mom. In the background, I was also lamenting how COVID-19 would change the holidays by preventing gatherings with other family members and friends.
Grieving is hard and tiring work. And even if you didn’t lose a loved one this year, it’s likely you’re mourning a loss related to 2020’s pandemic and all of the ripple effects it has caused. So, it may not feel like there’s much to celebrate this Christmas. And yet, as much as we love the gatherings, gifts, decorations, and celebrations, they aren’t the heart of the season. They’re just the signposts of it. At the center of the Christmas is Jesus, God in the flesh who came to dwell among us.
This year is going to look different for many of us. For me, it will be my first Christmas Eve and Christmas day without my mom or extended family at the table with us. And it will also be the first time in 27 years that my husband and I don’t travel to see the other side of our family, thanks to COVID-19. We have a lot to grieve, but we still have hope. It all goes back to that baby born in Bethlehem over 2000 years ago.
Throughout this month I’ve been reading a daily advent devotional that is keeping me tethered to truth. Each entry includes Scriptures from the Old and New Testaments that highlight specific aspects of Jesus. The book focuses on the prophecies Christ fulfilled and the blessings we receive because of Him. It’s reminding me there’s still hope and joy for us, even in 2020. So, whether you’re enjoying all the trappings of the season or hurting deeply this Christmas, Jesus’ birth deserves celebrating. Here are a few truths that have especially encouraged me recently:
-Jesus brings light into our world that no darkness can overcome (not even a pandemic or a loss you’re experiencing): “In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” (John 1:4-5)
-Jesus came to seek those who have no purpose or direction: “For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” (Luke 19:10)
-Jesus became a man and died for us, so we can be cleansed from sin and have access to God Almighty: “God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” (2 Corinthians 5:21)
-Jesus came to defeat the devil: “The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil’s work.” (1 John 3:8b)
-Jesus came to bring us victory over death: “For since death came through a man, the resurrection of the dead comes also through a man. For as in Adam all die, so in Christ all will be made alive. But each in turn: Christ, the firstfruits; then, when he comes, those who belong to him. Then the end will come, when he hands over the kingdom to God the Father after he has destroyed all dominion, authority and power. For he must reign until he has put all his enemies under his feet. The last enemy to be destroyed is death.” (1 Corinthians 15:21-26)
-Jesus came to show us perfect love: “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” (John 3:16-17, NIV)
-Jesus assures us future glory despite our present suffering: “I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us… What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?” (Romans 8:18 & 31-32)
-Jesus gives us peace unlike any peace the world offers. Because of Him, we have nothing to fear: “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” (John 14:27)
This year some of the jollier Christmas songs aren’t resonating with me very well. But when I heard “Behold Him” by Francesca Battistelli, I discovered one that captures my feelings perfectly. I hope it encourages you today too.
*The devotional I’ve been reading is Advent 2020 Jesus Christ is Born created by shereadstruth.com.
*All Scriptures quoted from the New International Version.