Tag: Psalm 62:8

Session 3: David’s Honest Prayers

If there’s one thing we learn from King David, it’s that we can be completely honest with the Lord about everything. Intimacy with God comes through authenticity. Once we’ve dropped our façades in prayer, our relationships with Him grow deeper. The Book of Psalms is filled with examples of this as David and other writers grapple with their frustrations in the presence of God.

One of my favorite invitations to be honest before the Lord is Psalm 62:8: “Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.” (NIV) Our honest laments are a significant part of extraordinary prayers.

My most vivid memory of pouring out my heart started with a seemingly “unspiritual” situation—a home remodel. God used that hard season in the life of my family to refine us and draw us near to Him in ways we’d never imagined. In fact, He taught us so much that I wrote a book manuscript about it (as yet, unpublished). Below is an excerpt that I hope will give you an idea of how it looks to approach God with raw and honest emotions and questions. This part begins just after my husband and I learned that the plans we’d so carefully designed had been rejected by the city. 

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The contractor left and my husband closed the door and disappeared into the office without saying a word. An overwhelming combination of disappointment, anger and defeat felt like a wave crashing down on me. Neither one of us seemed able to talk about how we were feeling without making things worse.

I retreated to our bedroom, closed the door and lay face down on the floor with my arms spread wide. The coarse carpet fibers pressed into my forehead and the faint smell of dusty shoes filled my nostrils. My emotions were so raw I could hardly formulate words to pray. The room was quiet and warm as rain drummed on the roof. I was too tense to let the tears flow. For the first few minutes, all I could do was breathe deeply. With each exhale I tried to release all of the negative things I was feeling. Bitterness. Anger. Confusion. Mistrust. With each inhale a different word would come to mind. Peace. Wisdom. Clarity. Direction. Eventually more words came and with my face to the floor, I wrestled silently with God in a one-sided conversation.

Why did you say ‘yes’ to the remodel and then allow this roadblock? Should we keep moving forward, or are you telling us to stop? Why did you let me get excited if this whole thing is going to fall apart like all the other times? What are we supposed to be learning from this?

Despite the physical discomfort, I remained face down in total surrender. Slowly I began to remember God’s faithfulness to us over the years. He usually didn’t do things the way we dictated, and they always ended up turning out better than we could have imagined. I thought of job searches, strained relationships, and challenging moments serving at church. God came through for us every single time. Fragments of different verses that had strengthened us through the hard times in the past came to mind.

I will never leave you or forsake you… I know the plans I have for you…You will find me when you seek me with all your heart…I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living…Be still and know that I am God.

As the promises flooded my mind, God gently pried open my tight fists of control and I held my hands palms up. I was ready to receive whatever the Lord wanted to give and trusted that He still had a plan. I knew there was a purpose for this setback, something we needed to work through before we could come out the other side. I got up from the floor and reached for my journal in the bedside table. Writing prayers had always been a way for me to connect with God.

God, I pray you would help us to trust in you even when things seem to make no sense. Please help us not to fret and to trust that you will make a way. I look forward with anticipation to how you will sort out this frustrating situation. God, please help us to conduct ourselves and treat others in a way that honors you through this process. Please give us wisdom, creativity and tenacity. I trust you even though I can’t see the way forward through this. God, please help us to keep a healthy perspective and to keep our eyes on you.

As I finished writing in my journal, inexplicable peace washed over me. I had no idea how this situation was going to work out, but I trusted that it would. God already knew the outcome and I could thank Him for that.

I emerged from the bedroom and found my husband sitting in our home office with his legs propped up on the desk and leaning back in his chair. His opened Bible rested on his lap. It was a relief to see that even though we retreated from each other, we’d both pursued God for wisdom and answers.  (From Our Mess to God’s Best manuscript).

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Looking back now, I see God knew our struggles and waited patiently until we were desperate enough to wrestle through our frustrations with Him. We had no idea He was preparing us to lean on Him for bigger challenges yet to unfold. Our growing dependence on the Lord was vital for giving us the strength we would need in the months and years that followed.

Through my experience with our disastrous remodel, I stopped asking God, “Why?” and started asking: “What do You want me to learn? How are You revealing Yourself to me?” When I relinquished my illusion of control and surrendered my sense of entitlement, God enabled me to find deeper intimacy with Him than I’d ever had before.

I pray you’ll find the same thing to be true as you pray with honesty and authenticity like David did. Instead of just seeking answers or solutions, pursue greater intimacy with Him. Regardless of how your circumstances unfold, you won’t be disappointed.

Casting Crowns’ “God of All My Days” beautifully captures my prayers and the idea of seeking God with honesty and authenticity. Click here to listen.

Offloading Your Christmas Baggage

I remember the first time my husband and I traveled with our eldest son as a baby. He was only ten months old, but required so much gear that we had to rent a cart at the airport to carry it all. I’ll never forget seeing him perched in his car seat atop a mountain of luggage. Wrangling and monitoring our baggage throughout the day’s travel took a lot of effort. Once we arrived at our destination, fitting the stroller, backpack, diaper bag, portable crib, and suitcases into the rental car’s tiny trunk was another challenge.

Baggage is unwieldy. It takes up a lot of space and makes traveling cumbersome, especially when it is oversized. And yet, most of us carry invisible baggage with us all the time—unresolved issues, emotional pain, insecurity, control issues, fears, and brokenness, to name a few. And somehow, at Christmas time, that baggage gets unpacked at some of the worst moments.

As much as we love it, the Christmas season is filled with stress for many people. Perhaps when I say that you’re envisioning to do lists that include decorating, shopping, cooking, entertaining, traveling, and attending events. But underneath these surface stressors lurk deeper issues. Some of us dread the awkward or painful interactions we’ll have with people in relationships that are strained. Others will feel the sting of being alone when it seems everyone else has somewhere to go and someone to celebrate with. Others will feel anxious about meeting hidden expectations of family, friends, co-workers, or clients. Some will struggle as they are the sole followers of Jesus gathering with others who really don’t care about the true meaning of Christmas. Others won’t be able to enjoy the festivities because all they can see is the empty place at the table where a loved one used to sit.

Whatever baggage we carry, it seems to get heavier and larger during the Christmas season. Hard relationships become magnified and often eclipse the purpose of the holidays. The enemy loves nothing more than stealing our joy as we prepare to celebrate the birth of Christ. So, here are a few thoughts on how to stop him in his tracks by not letting your baggage get the best of you.

-Label Your Baggage: When something triggers a negative emotion, take a moment to stop and figure out where things went wrong. Take stock of the baggage you usually carry. Being aware of what tends to hurt you or what throws you into a tailspin can help you to head it off before you’ve spiraled too far. Spend some time praying about the things you struggle with, especially before you’re entering a situation that you know might be challenging. “Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens.” (Psalm 68:19, NIV)

-Give Grace to Others with Baggage: We all have it, but not everyone wants to acknowledge it. And sometimes our baggage doesn’t fit well with the baggage of others– sort of like trying to cram too much luggage into a small trunk doesn’t work very well. We can’t fix other people or force them to deal with their issues, but we can do our part to show them God’s love and grace. Sometimes this means being flexible, sometimes it means biting your tongue when you want to lash out, sometimes it means offering a word of affirmation even when you’re annoyed. When you encounter people with a lot of baggage, do what you can in the moment to ease their burden without compromising your own emotional health. “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” (Colossians 3:12-14, NIV)

-Lean into God: Often prayer and Scripture reading are the first things we abandon during this busy season. Yet, when we make the time to draw near to God and to let His Word realign our hearts and renew our minds, we’re off-loading our baggage onto Him instead of letting it weigh us down. When we take time to let Him fill us with His love, strength and wisdom, we’ll have so much more to give others. Spending time in God’s presence refreshes us. It enables us to be less likely to get our feelings hurt, helps us to stop nursing personal grudges, and allows us to give an RSVP of “no” to our personal pity parties. When we start our day with a vertical focus, we’re more equipped to make a horizontal impact on those we encounter. “Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.” (Colossians 3:1-2, NIV)

It took many years before we could travel lighter with our two boys. I’ll never forget the first time we walked briskly through the airport with each of us wheeling our own bag. My husband looked at me with a triumphant grin and declared, “This is awesome!”

It feels good to travel light, but it does take effort and forethought to make it happen. God is ready and willing to help offload our baggage. He wants us to entrust it to Him.  He also provides wise and godly friends, family members, and counselors to help us along the way. All we need to do is ask. “Trust in him at all times, you people;  pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. (Psalm 62:8, NIV)

May your days be merry and bright… and may all your Christmas baggage be light.

Click on the link and enjoy some Christmas cheer with Sidewalk Prophets and Francesca Battistelli singing “White Christmas” (without my creative lyric change!)

 

Transition Troubles

ike waves crashing on the beach, life is constantly moving and changing. We can try to dig our toes into the sand and refuse to accept change or we can frolic in the surf as it washes over us.

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The e-mail caught me by surprise when it landed in my inbox two months ago. A dear friend broke the news that she was moving 3000 miles away. To say it was a shock would be an understatement. We squeezed in time to meet once before she left to see her new house for the first time. A month later, she returned to California to take her son to college and say goodbye to friends. It was a fast transition with no lead up–I was nowhere near ready to say goodbye. I know we’ll both be processing this huge change for months to come. I miss her already, but I trust that God has good things in store for both of us.

It seems everywhere I turn I’m encountering people dealing with transitions right now. Some of them are just part of our life stages: families leaving beloved elementary schools as their children begin middle school and other families taking kids to college for the first time. There are parents adjusting to having an empty nest and young adults trying to figure out life after college. Some are watching their kids get married and start families of their own. Others are wrapping up careers and navigating the unknown waters of retirement; some are selling homes and moving on now that their kids are grown. While these events are emotional, they are also evidence of positive growth and change.

Other transitions are more difficult to accept: the shift into single life resulting from divorce or the transition from being married to being widowed. There is the unwelcome transition from having a job to searching for a new one. Or the struggle of watching a close-knit community unravel and wondering how to move ahead.   These difficult transitions may be forced upon us, but we still have to learn how to live with them.

I’ll be the first to admit I don’t like times of transition. They are usually uncomfortable and awkward; often they are painful and difficult. But no matter what negative feelings I have about transitions, they are a part of life I’ve learned to accept and to entrust to God. When I’m still struggling to understand how to function as I transition from one thing to the next, I can trust that God already has a plan for me. I may not like the changes, but I can thank Him anyway and live expectantly knowing He has good things in store.

If you’re going through a transition, here are a few things that might help you navigate it and keep your focus in a healthy place:

-It’s OK to Grieve

Transitioning from one phase to the next means you have to leave something behind. It is healthy and normal to grieve the loss that the change is causing. If you’re trying to bottle up your negative emotions and put on a happy face, you’re going to struggle that much longer. Acknowledge your sadness to God and let yourself grieve for a while. Get help from a wise friend or counselor if you need it.

“Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.” (Psalm 62:8, NIV)

-It’s Not OK to Wallow

Sometimes we get stuck in a transition and can’t move on. It’s healthy to feel sad for a while, but not to make it a permanent habit of your mind. If we spend too much time lamenting painful changes in our lives over and over, it prevents us from looking ahead to see what God wants to do next. If you’re still living and breathing, then God still has plans for you. There is a time to move on.

“Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:13b-14, NIV)

-It’s Good to Move Forward

Like waves crashing on the beach, life is constantly moving and changing. We can try to dig our toes into the sand and refuse to accept change or we can frolic in the surf as it washes over us. Either way, we’re going to get wet.  We can’t avoid being affected by what’s happening around us. You can trust God whether you know what life holds for you on the other side of your transition or not. Seek Him in the midst of your struggles and let Him lead you.

“’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.’” (Jeremiah 29:11-13 NIV)

Continue reading “Transition Troubles”

Finding Intimacy with God in the Wilderness

Intimacy with the Lord comes through authentic connection with Him. Once we’ve dropped our facades and started being honest in prayer, our relationships with Him grow deeper.

IMG_7603It all started with a simple desire to remodel our home. We had no idea God planned to use such an “unspiritual” situation to test and refine our faith. He took us on a long, painful journey through the wilderness. In fact, I’ve spent the last several years writing the entire story and pursuing options for getting it published.

Reading Priscilla Shirer’s words inspired me to share an excerpt from my manuscript that illustrates her point: “The exodus was for this moment—when God’s people would be brought unto Himself and begin intimate fellowship and covenant with Him. This was His goal above getting them to Canaan.” (One in a Million, p. 84)

Below you’ll find a portion of my family’s remodel story: From Our Mess to God’s Best.

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Over the months, the process of remodeling our tiny home had been filled with revealing moments…We’d anticipated the financial cost of the project and the inconvenience it would cause, but had failed to recognize the emotional and spiritual toll it would take on us.  

The thought of having our faith stretched by our remodel hadn’t occurred to my husband or me. We’d learned to trust God through a number of hardships and had favorite Bible verses that comforted us through job transitions, difficult relationships, anxiety, depression and the deaths of family members. We believed God used hardships for good and had seen evidence of it in our lives.

However, we also prided ourselves in our self-sufficiency and our ability to problem-solve smaller issues on our own. Good planning and common sense had kept daily life orderly for almost seventeen years of marriage. We’d never considered that the Lord had things to teach us through the problems that arose from living in a privileged, industrialized society. God was using a mess of our own making to transform us from the inside out, whether we wanted Him to or not…

One of the first challenges came before the bulk of the remodel had even started.  Our contractor wouldn’t make eye contact as he told us the news. “The city’s building department rejected the plans.”

For a moment we were speechless, unable to process this development…The city’s issues meant the modest remodel that was so much smaller than our original dreams now needed to be scaled back even further. We had orchestrated our time line down to the last detail and anticipated construction beginning just after Christmas, once everything had been approved. We had no time buffer for delays in our idealized schedule. This remodel had been years in the making. We’d run short on patience and were ready to start…We never imagined there would be a problem with the plan approval…

The contractor left and my husband closed the door and disappeared into the office without saying a word. An overwhelming combination of disappointment, anger and defeat felt like a wave crashing down on me. Neither one of us seemed able to talk about how we were feeling without making things worse.

I retreated to our bedroom, closed the door and lay face down on the floor with my arms spread wide. The coarse carpet fibers pressed into my forehead and the faint smell of dusty shoes filled my nostrils. My emotions were so raw I could hardly formulate words to pray. The room was quiet and warm as rain drummed on the roof. I was too tense to let the tears flow. For the first few minutes, all I could do was breathe deeply. With each exhale I tried to release all of the negative things I was feeling. Bitterness. Anger. Confusion. Mistrust. With each inhale a different word would come to mind. Peace. Wisdom. Clarity. Direction. Eventually more words came and with my face to the floor, I wrestled silently with God in a one-sided conversation.

Why did you say ‘yes’ to the remodel and then allow this roadblock? Should we keep moving forward, or are you telling us to stop? Why did you let me get excited if this whole thing is going to fall apart like all the other times? What are we supposed to be learning from this?

Despite the physical discomfort, I remained face down in total surrender. Slowly I began to remember God’s faithfulness to us over the years. He usually didn’t do things the way we dictated, and they always ended up turning out better than we could have imagined. I thought of job searches, strained relationships, and challenging moments serving at church. God came through for us every single time. Fragments of different verses that had strengthened us through the hard times in the past came to mind.

I will never leave you or forsake you… I know the plans I have for you…You will find me when you seek me with all your heart…I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living…Be still and know that I am God.

As the promises flooded my mind, God gently pried open my tight fists of control and I held my hands palms up. I was ready to receive whatever the Lord wanted to give and trusted that He still had a plan. I knew there was a purpose for this setback, something we needed to work through before we could come out the other side. I got up from the floor and reached for my journal in the bedside table. Writing prayers had always been a way for me to connect with God.

God, I pray you would help us to trust in you even when things seem to make no sense. Please help us not to fret and to trust that you will make a way. I look forward with anticipation to how you will sort out this frustrating situation. God, please help us to conduct ourselves and treat others in a way that honors you through this process. Please give us wisdom, creativity and tenacity. I trust you even though I can’t see the way forward through this. God, please help us to keep a healthy perspective and to keep our eyes on you.

As I finished writing in my journal, inexplicable peace washed over me. I had no idea how this situation was going to work out, but I trusted that it would. God already knew the outcome and I could thank Him for that.

I emerged from the bedroom and found my husband sitting in our home office with his legs propped up on the desk and leaning back in his chair. His opened Bible rested on his lap. It was a relief to see that even though we retreated from each other, we’d both pursued God for wisdom and answers.  (From Our Mess to God’s Best, Marybeth McCullum)

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God knew our struggles with the remodel and waited patiently until we were desperate enough to wrestle through our frustrations with Him. We had no idea He also was teaching us to rely on Him in preparation for bigger challenges yet to unfold. Our growing dependence on Him was vital for giving us the strength we would need.

Intimacy with the Lord comes through authentic connection with Him. Once we’ve dropped our facades and started being honest in prayer, our relationships with Him grow deeper. The Psalms are filled with David and other writers grappling with their frustrations in the presence of God. One of my favorite invitations to be honest before God is Psalm 62:8: “Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.” (NIV) Our honest laments are the first step toward letting Him change our perspectives.

Through my wilderness experience with our disastrous remodel, I stopped asking God, “Why?” and started asking: “What do You want me to learn? How are You revealing Yourself to me?” When I relinquished my illusion of control and surrendered my sense of entitlement, God enabled me to find deeper intimacy with Him than I’d ever had before.

I pray you’ll find the same thing to be true in your wilderness. Instead of just seeking answers or solutions, seek greater intimacy with Him. Regardless of how your circumstances unfold, you won’t be disappointed.

Whenever I hear Phillip Phillips’ song “Home” I think of my crazy home remodel and imagine God singing the lyrics of the song to my family.   I hope it encourages you in your wilderness journey too.

Shirer, Priscilla; One in a Million– Journey to Your Promised Land; Lifeway Press; 2010 & 2014