Tag: Romans 12:17-21

Addressing Anger

After years of enslavement in Egypt, the Israelites needed clear and definitive laws from the Lord to function effectively as a new nation. Moses delivered the Ten Commandments to them at the base of Mt. Sinai. The first five establish the authority of God and the importance of honoring Him. The second five clarify how God’s children should relate to one another. Delving into these commandments shows their timeless wisdom for us today. For example, the sixth commandment seems easy for most of us to follow: “You shall not murder.” However, Jesus raises the bar on this commandment in the Sermon on the Mount:

“You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.” (Matthew 5:21-22, NIV)

Being angry isn’t a sin, but it leads to sin when we handle it poorly (see Ephesians 4:26 in point #2 below). Murder seems like a much bigger offense than anger, but Jesus shows us that both come from the same root within us. Anger influences our feelings when we stew on it in our minds. Soon it reaches a boiling point and we overflow with resentment. If this pattern continues, our attitudes are flavored with bitterness and our relationships are tainted. 

In His teaching on anger, Jesus explains how to keep ourselves in check and to prevent anger from taking over: “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.” (Matthew 5:23-24, NIV)

Jesus calls us to seek reconciliation when we’re at odds with others rather than avoiding them. In a modern context, “offering your gift at the altar” could be any activity involving the Lord: praying, reading your Bible, making a financial donation, volunteering, serving, leading a Bible study, singing a worship song, attending church, etc. This teaching encourages us to reach out and make things right before engaging in spiritual activities. It echoes the prophet Samuel’s words to King Saul: “Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the Lord? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams.” (1 Samuel 15:22, NIV)

Scripture has many wise words on anger. If you’d like to grow in handling it biblically, try applying these principles next time your blood begins to boil:

-Recognize and admit if you’re being prideful or handling your anger sinfully. Sometimes our anger is justified, sometimes it isn’t. Pause and ask yourself if your anger is something you need to process only in prayer or if you need to address it with the one who offended you. Confess it to God and to anyone who has been hurt by your anger: “Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.” (Proverbs 28:13, NIV)

-Leave room for God’s wrath. This is especially important in cases of injustice, when people abuse those who are innocent.  The Lord is righteous and all-knowing; we can trust Him to act justly in His timing, not ours. We cannot control how others behave or respond, but we can make the changes needed on our part: “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.” (Romans 12:17-19, NIV)

-Return evil with good. We can transform our feelings toward adversaries by empathizing with them as fellow humans. Recognize their brokenness instead of viewing them through the lens of anger: “On the contrary: ‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.’  Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:20-21, NIV)

When you’re ready to address your anger, keep these principles from the book of Ephesians in mind: 

1) Be honest and explain what caused your anger. People cannot read our minds; we must speak the truth in love: “Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.”  (Ephesians 4:25, NIV)

2) Keep short accounts. Don’t be a peace-faker by avoiding your anger and letting it build up. Deal with it before it reaches a boiling point. Be mindful of what triggers your anger and set healthy boundaries with those who don’t bring out the best in you: “‘In your anger do not sin’ Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” (Ephesians 4:26, NIV)

3) Attack the problem, not the person. Talk to the person, not about them: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.” (Ephesians 4:29 & 31, NIV)

4) Don’t react on your first impulse or let your anger lead you. Pause and ask the Lord to show you a godly way to respond. De-escalate the tension instead of adding to it: “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32, NIV)

Cooling a hot temper is not accomplished overnight. But through prayer, Bible study, and reliance upon the Holy Spirit, ungodly anger can be overcome. Seek to glorify God and watch your thoughts and relationships change for the better.

Portions of this post were adapted from “What Does the Bible Say About Anger?” on got questions.org. Click here to view the full article.

This post was also inspired by Week 4 in Jen Wilkin’s God of Freedom, Lifeway Press 2022 and Tyler Scott’s sermon “Sermon on the Mount Part 4.” Click here to access the sermon.

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The GOAT Part 4: Anger

It’s been a strange year for all of us. The pandemic and a variety of other challenges have wreaked havoc on our emotions. Although I’m usually calm and even-tempered, I’ve been surprised by the amount of anger I’ve felt this year. Most of my extreme feelings have been sparked by circumstances beyond my control, not specific people. However, I’ve often vented my anger on others in ways that they didn’t deserve.

I’ve had to pray through my anger many times in the past year. So, Jesus’ teaching on it in the Sermon on the Mount seems especially relevant right now:

“You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.” (Matthew 5:21-22, NIV)

Murder seems like a much bigger offense than anger, but Jesus shows us here that both come from the same root within us. Anger influences our feelings when we stew on it in our minds. Soon it reaches a boiling point and we overflow with resentment. If this pattern continues, our attitudes are flavored with bitterness and our relationships are tainted.

In His teaching on anger, Jesus gives several solutions we can use to keep ourselves in check and to prevent anger from taking over: “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.” (Matthew 5:23-24, NIV)

If you know you’re at odds with another person, seek reconciliation rather than avoiding them. In a modern context, “offering your gift at the altar”could be any activity for or with the Lord: praying, reading your Bible, making a financial donation, volunteering, serving, leading a Bible study, singing a worship song, attending church, etc. This teaching encourages us to reach out and make things right with others before engaging in spiritual activities. It echoes the prophet Samuel’s words to King Saul: “Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the Lord? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams.” (1 Samuel 15:22, NIV)

Jesus continues His teaching saying, “Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still together on the way, or your adversary may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. Truly I tell you, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny.” (Matthew 5:25-26, NIV)

Jesus’ point here is that we shouldn’t let animosity with another person remain unsettled or it will spill over and affect others. When hard feelings escalate and we include more people in the conflict, this magnifies the issue and causes a ripple effect. Think of a contentious divorce or a rift between close friends. When anger leads our decisions, many people get hurt. Is the emotional carnage really worth it in the end?

Scripture has many wise words on anger. If, like me, you’d like to grow in handling your anger biblically, try applying these principles next time your blood begins to boil:

1) Recognize and admit if you’re being prideful or handling your anger sinfully. Sometimes our anger is justified, sometimes it isn’t. Pause and ask yourself if your anger is something you need to process only in prayer or if you need to address it with the one who offended you. Confess it to God and to anyone who has been hurt by your anger: “Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.” (Proverbs 28:13, NIV)

2) Leave room for God’s wrath. This is especially important in cases of injustice, when people abuse those who are innocent.  The Lord is righteous and all-knowing; we can trust Him to act justly in His timing, not ours. We cannot control how others behave or respond, but we can make the changes needed on our part: “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.” (Romans 12:17-19, NIV)

3) Return good for evil. We can transform our feelings toward adversaries by empathizing with them as fellow humans. Recognize their brokenness instead of viewing them through the lens of anger: “On the contrary: ‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.’  Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:20-21, NIV)

When you’re ready to confront the one who stirred up your anger, keep these principles from the book of Ephesians in mind:

1) Be honest and explain what caused your anger. People cannot read our minds; we must speak the truth in love: “Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.”  (Ephesians 4:25, NIV)

2) Keep short accounts. Don’t be a peace-faker by avoiding your anger and letting it build up. Deal with it before it reaches a boiling point. Be mindful of what triggers your anger and set healthy boundaries with those who don’t bring out the best in you: “’In your anger do not sin’ Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” (Ephesians 4:26, NIV)

3) Attack the problem, not the person. Talk to the person, not about them: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.” (Ephesians 4:29 & 31, NIV)

4) Don’t react on your first impulse or let your anger lead you. Pause and ask the Lord to show you a godly way to respond. De-escalate the tension instead of adding to it: “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32, NIV)

Cooling a hot temper is not accomplished overnight. But through prayer, Bible study, and reliance upon the Holy Spirit, ungodly anger can be overcome. If, like me, you’ve allowed anger to lead you, why not join me in practicing healthier responses? Seek to glorify God and watch your thoughts and relationships change for the better.

Portions of this post were adapted from this article:

https://www.gotquestions.org/Bible-anger.html

This post was also inspired by Tyler Scott’s sermon at CPC Danville:

http://www.cpcdanville.org/ministries/worship-arts/media/the-goat–the-sermon-on-the-mount–part-4–message-on-demand/

Bad Story, Good Lessons

She was a young teenager, the only daughter among a crowd of sons. Living in a new place, she was curious about clothes, customs, and social events that were different from her family’s. Most likely she was also a little naïve, not considering the harm that could come to her by sneaking away to mix with new friends at a local festival.

He was accustomed to getting his way. As a young man of privilege, he probably carried a sense of entitlement. When he saw something he wanted, he took it and dealt with the consequences later. Maybe he knew his powerful father would follow behind him to clean up the mess. So when he saw the new girl in town, he didn’t think twice about pursuing her. Maybe it started out as a friendly flirtation, but it quickly escalated into something entirely different. No one had any idea how the collision of these two lives would forever change the city and the family who had come to live on its outskirts.

Sounds like the makings of a modern movie, doesn’t it? Actually, it’s the story of Jacob’s daughter, Dinah, and the prince of Shechem, as told in the book of Genesis (with a bit of creative license based on commentaries). It’s a sordid tale that makes us uncomfortable, but there are things we can learn if we’re willing to move past our squeamishness. Finding personal application in it reminds us that times have changed, but human nature has remained the same.

Dinah’s Downfall: “Now Dinah the daughter of Leah, whom she had borne to Jacob, went out to see the women of the land. And when Shechem the son of Hamor the Hivite, the prince of the land, saw her, he seized her and lay with her and humiliated her. And his soul was drawn to Dinah the daughter of Jacob. He loved the young woman and spoke tenderly to her. So Shechem spoke to his father Hamor, saying, ‘Get me this girl for my wife.’” (Genesis 34:1-3, NIV)

Scholars believe Dinah was a young adolescent, somewhere between the ages of 12 and 16. Naturally, she was curious and interested in developing her social life, as most teens would be. But her parents hadn’t equipped her with the wisdom to recognize the dangers of the outside world. No one explained how vulnerable she would be out on her own, even in a place that looked so inviting. In fact, no one seemed to be paying much attention to her until it was too late. 

It’s tempting to point the finger of blame at the family members who didn’t seem to value Dinah enough to watch out for her. But how often can we be guilty of the same today? Teenagers may look like adults who eagerly exert their independence, but we’re fooling ourselves if we think they know how to navigate the world entirely on their own (both online and in real life). Sheltering adolescents seems like a quick fix, but isn’t realistic or beneficial to them. Leaving them to their own devices isn’t the answer either. We need to find middle ground where we’re engaged in their lives and connecting with them consistently so we can earn their trust. Only then will they be open to receiving the truth and wisdom they need from adults to make wise choices. If you’re not parenting a teen, you still have opportunities to connect and pour into them in many ways—whether it’s as a grandparent, an aunt or uncle, a neighbor, a youth leader, a co-worker, a work supervisor, a teacher, a mentor, a coach, a tutor, or any other role that puts you in contact with this precious and vulnerable age group. (See below for helpful resources on understanding teens and their world).

Dinah’s Brothers Misuse God’s Covenant: “The sons of Jacob answered Shechem and his father Hamor deceitfully, because he had defiled their sister Dinah. They said to them, ‘We cannot do this thing, to give our sister to one who is uncircumcised, for that would be a disgrace to us. Only on this condition will we agree with you—that you will become as we are by every male among you being circumcised.  Then we will give our daughters to you, and we will take your daughters to ourselves, and we will dwell with you and become one people. But if you will not listen to us and be circumcised, then we will take our daughter, and we will be gone.’” (Genesis 34:13-17, NIV)

Jacob’s sons used the sacred sign of God’s covenant as a tool of manipulation. Insisting that all the men of the town be circumcised was a ruse for making them vulnerable to attack. Using anything God has given us to inflict harm on others has no place in the life of a believer. It’s dishonoring to Him and defiles the sacred things He’s given us. The Church has had many shameful seasons in history when hateful acts were committed in the name of the Lord. We shouldn’t use pressure or manipulation to force people into God’s ways. Our role is to plant seeds of faith, it’s the Holy Spirit who makes them grow and brings true life transformation.

Dinah’s Brothers Take Revenge: “And all who went out of the gate of his city listened to Hamor and his son Shechem, and every male was circumcised, all who went out of the gate of his city. On the third day, when they were sore, two of the sons of Jacob, Simeon and Levi, Dinah’s brothers, took their swords and came against the city while it felt secure and killed all the males. They killed Hamor and his son Shechem with the sword and took Dinah out of Shechem’s house and went away. The sons of Jacob came upon the slain and plundered the city, because they had defiled their sister.” (Genesis 34:24-27, NIV)

Simeon and Levi decided to stand up for their sister and take their revenge to a gruesome extreme. In the process, they ruined the lives of everyone in Shechem and made their family a stench in the land. What they did was so detestable that their father cursed them on his deathbed:

“Simeon and Levi are brothers—  their swords   are weapons of violence. Let me not enter their council, let me not join their assembly, for they have killed men in their anger and hamstrung oxen as they pleased. Cursed be their anger, so fierce, and their fury, so cruel! I will scatter them in Jacob and disperse them in Israel.” (Genesis 49:5-7, NIV)

Dinah’s brothers probably imagined how satisfying it would be to get revenge, but it backfired on them in the end.  When we’ve been wronged, Scripture instructs us not to give in to our thirst for revenge: “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord. On the contrary: ‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.’ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:17-21, NIV) Rather than bringing peace and contentment, revenge only escalates painful situations and perpetuates hate and violence. Trust God to handle vengeance and do your best to live at peace with everyone.

How I wish Dinah could have heard the words of “Rescue” by Lauren Daigle. Let the song comfort you and remind you of God’s attentiveness in whatever difficulties you’re facing. (Once you click below, a new window will open, then click “Watch on YouTube”).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MgkNB4939YM

Want more info on how to understand teens and their culture? Check out these resources:

Axis.org

Teenesteem.org

Chapclark.com

Responding to Evil and Violence

What would happen if instead of hating the evildoers and wanting vengeance, we prayed for God’s sovereignty and justice to prevail?

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Driving on a recent road trip, I couldn’t help noticing the many flags flying at half-mast in different towns we passed along the way. In the past few months it’s been hard to keep track of the numerous tragedies that have occurred in our nation and world. The senseless acts of violence and terrorism we’ve seen in places like Orlando, Dallas, Nice and Berlin have left us shocked and saddened. I can hardly fathom one awful situation before another is reported.

Processing these events can be overwhelming. Sometimes I want to turn off the news or walk away from the article I’m reading. When we haven’t been personally affected, it’s tempting not to think about the latest set of ugly circumstances, isn’t it? Sometimes our emotions become dulled from overexposure. It becomes too draining to keep hearing about another random shooting or terrorist attack. We can feel helpless and hopeless.   Seemingly, there is little we can we do. How can we change things in a world that seems increasingly violent and hateful with each passing month?

Wanting to answer this question for myself, I turned to the best source of wisdom I know: the Bible. As usual, the answers I found were clear, but not easy. Here are a few things we can do in the face of evil and violence:

Pray for Our Enemies

Jesus’ teaching on this topic isn’t easy to practice, but it is truth we need to apply to our lives: “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.” (Matthew 5:43-45, NIV)

When tragedies occur, we’re often prompted to pray for the victims and their families. What doesn’t come naturally is praying for the people who caused them. What would happen if instead of hating the evildoers and wanting vengeance, we prayed for God’s sovereignty and justice to prevail? How about praying that our enemies would be confronted with God’s power and authority and would have no choice but to submit to him? Or praying for their hearts to be softened and their souls to be saved? How about asking God to root the evil out of them and to replace it with his grace and love instead?

Repay Evil with Good

Our natural tendency when we’ve been wronged is to want to retaliate against the one who has hurt us. Yet Scripture urges us to resist this inclination and to surprise our enemies with kindness they don’t deserve:

“Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord. On the contrary: ‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.’ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” (Romans 12:17-21, NIV)

A commentary I consulted explains, “By feeding [our enemies] and giving them water to drink, believers heap up burning embers on their heads. This figure seems to mean that the enemy will blush with shame or remorse at such unexpected kindness.” (Wycliffe Bible Commentary, page 1220)

We can’t always do this with perpetrators of evil and violence in the wider world, but we can practice it on a smaller scale in our personal lives. When someone wrongs you, try responding with an act of kindness and see what happens. (If the Bible says it’s a good idea, it’s probably worth trying).

Take Personal Responsibility to Promote Good

 Followers of Jesus are called to live in a way that honors God and blesses others. Our behaviors and attitudes impact our spheres of influence for better or for worse. The interactions we have with others can make them feel bitter and hateful or loved and valued. Let’s commit to being people who make our little corners of the world positive and encouraging. Here are a few ways we can do that:

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:29-32, NIV)

Put simply, biting sarcasm, cynicism, bitterness and gossip do not bring peace into our surroundings. We impact the world around us by what we say and how we treat others. Think about how your actions and attitudes make others feel. Pray and ask God to remove the hurtful ones and to replace them with qualities that build others up. Pray that he increases the positive things you are already doing and saying.

Let’s strive to show a world bent on violence, hate and revenge that doing things God’s way is a better option. The darker the world becomes, the more opportunity we have to let the light of Christ’s love shine through us.

Christy Nockels’ song “By Our Love” urges believers to show the world God’s love. Click on the link and let the words inspire you today.

Continue reading “Responding to Evil and Violence”