Category: Emotions

David’s Prayer: Psalm 5

Humbling ourselves before God and aligning our hearts and minds with Him allows us to keep our focus where it needs to be throughout the day.

Over the years, the Book of Psalms has become a significant part of my faith journey. The deep laments, honest soul-searching, and passionate praise have put words to my thoughts and feelings many times.

As one of the primary authors of Psalms, David was the most famous and renowned of all the kings of Israel. He was known as “a man after God’s own heart.” At different points in his life he was a shepherd, a musician, a poet, a warrior, a leader, a husband, and a father. Many of the chapters he wrote in that beloved book are songs and prayers that show his response to the different events that occurred in his life. 

For me, a number of psalms have become mile markers that bring back memories from specific moments in my past. Psalm 5 is one I remember learning when I was a teenager. I first heard it in the form of a song while sitting on a small beach during a houseboat trip with my youth group. Standing at the water’s edge, a few of the camp leaders strummed their guitars and led as we sang the first three verses. It was a powerful way to prepare our hearts before sending us off for some time alone with God. Even though it was archaic language, the sentiment resonated deeply with me. When I looked it up recently, I was surprised to see that the lyrics I remembered word-for-word were pulled directly from the King James translation without being altered:

“Give ear to my words, O Lord, consider my meditation. Hearken unto the voice of my cry, my King, and my God: for unto thee will I pray. My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O Lord; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up.” (Psalm 5:1-3, KJV)

The New International version translates it like this: “Listen to my words, Lord, consider my lament. Hear my cry for help, my King and my God, for to you I pray. In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.” (Psalm 5:1-3, NIV)

 Here’s what strikes me about this passage:

It honors God in the lamenting: Even in his emotional distress, David recognizes the sovereignty of God. He gives the Lord the superior place of honor He deserves, addressing Him not only has his God, but as his King. So often in our prayers we launch right into listing our needs and making requests. When we start first by acknowledging the Lord and placing Him above ourselves, we demonstrate humility. This moves us from demanding an answer to recognizing God’s graciousness to us.

It has a healthy perspective: David lays his requests before the Lord and then waits expectantly to hear from Him. The physical act of laying something down is a powerful image. We can’t keep our worries and fears tightly in our grasp and lay them before God simultaneously. We must relinquish them to Him and then step back and believe that He’s going to respond in His perfect timing. Telling Him we’re waiting expectantly shows we trust Him and frees us from the compulsion to keep fretting. Pastor and author Nancy Ortberg says that lamenting paves the way for praising God. When we lay our troubles down before Him, it frees us to look up and remember His sovereignty over all things.

It sets an example worth following: David begins his day with the Lord. Twice in one verse he mentions coming before God in the morning. His example reminds me of the importance of starting my day with prayer. This isn’t legalistic, it just makes good sense. We wouldn’t leave for the day without putting on clothes. We don’t see this as a luxury, but a necessity. Yet, often we don’t see the need for spiritual covering as an essential part of preparation for the day ahead. When I don’t make time for morning prayer, my focus is on myself and the people and circumstances I encounter. As soon as something doesn’t go the way I want, I’ll default to self-centeredness, frustration, and impatience. Conversely, when I start with my focus on the Lord, He wraps me in the grace, wisdom, and patience I need to approach my day with His perspective instead of mine.

It’s interesting to note that Jesus gave us a similar example. Mark 1:35 says, “Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.” If the son of God chose to start His day with prayer, it’s probably wise to follow His example. Humbling ourselves before God and aligning our hearts and minds with Him allows us to keep our focus where it needs to be throughout the day.

Take a few mornings this week to read Psalm 5. Then, write prayers using some of the same elements David did such as:

  • being honest about your emotions 
  • honoring God’s superior position in your life
  • laying specific requests before Him
  • telling Him you’re waiting expectantly because you trust Him
  • asking for God’s leading
  • seeking God as your refuge—a place of safety amidst life’s dangers and storms
  • asking for God to spread His protection over you
  • thanking God that you can claim to be righteous because of Jesus
  • asking God to bless you and surround you with His favor

Chris Tomlin’s song “Nobody Loves Me Like You” starts off with the perfect lyrics to remind you when to start praying. Let it inspire you today.

Following Through Despite How You Feel

Almost before he could walk, my son loved anything with wheels. He played with toy cars constantly and was naturally drawn to the world of professional auto racing from a very young age. As a pre-schooler, he dressed up as his favorite NASCAR driver for Halloween and by elementary school, he had most of the drivers’ names, car numbers, and sponsors memorized. Watching Sunday afternoon races on TV became a regular practice in our household. Although I’ve never sat through an entire race from start to finish, I’ve learned a few things about the sport. 

One of the key aspects of car racing is the use of colored flags to communicate to drivers and spectators. Most of us are familiar with the image of a black and white checkered flag that signals the end of a race and the declaration of a winner. I’ve learned there are many other colored flags during a NASCAR race that are used before that one however: a yellow flag means “caution” and indicates hazardous conditions, a red flag brings the race to a halt temporarily, and a green flag allows the race to resume. A black flag denotes a rule violation and means a driver must return to the pit and a white flag signals the last lap of the race. 

Much like those colored NASCAR flags, our feelings help us to interpret our surroundings and determine how to proceed. Unfortunately, however, our feelings aren’t always reliable. When we depend on them solely to make decisions, they may lead us astray. Like the colored flags, they tell us there is a reason to react, but often don’t equip us to handle the situation accurately. For example, we might not always “feel” like following through with a commitment we’ve made, but when we remember the reason we agreed to do it and recognize how God is using it, we push past our feelings and persevere. For this reason, we must filter our feelings through our minds and the Holy Spirit to determine how to proceed. Many times, we’ll discover we need to press on, despite how we feel.

Take the Old Testament character of Ruth, for example. In chapter 1 of Ruth, we learn that she’d lost her husband and had committed to travel to Judah with her grieving mother-in-law. As a Moabite, she chose to leave behind her homeland, culture, and family to stay with Naomi. She put her faith in the God of Israel and walked away from the idol-worship of her people. 

 Chapter 2 in the book of Ruth opens with the two returning to Naomi’s hometown of Bethlehem penniless and alone. As widows, they had no safety net and no obvious connection to family members who would look out for them.  So, Ruth made a practical decision for the sake of their survival:

“And Ruth the Moabite said to Naomi, ‘Let me go to the fields and pick up the leftover grain behind anyone in whose eyes I find favor’ …So she went out, entered a field and began to glean behind the harvesters. As it turned out, she was working in a field belonging to Boaz, who was from the clan of Elimelek…Boaz asked the overseer of his harvesters, ‘Who does that young woman belong to?’ The overseer replied, ‘She is the Moabite who came back from Moab with Naomi. She said, “Please let me glean and gather among the sheaves behind the harvesters.” She came into the field and has remained here from morning till now, except for a short rest in the shelter.’

So Boaz said to Ruth, ‘My daughter, listen to me. Don’t go and glean in another field and don’t go away from here. Stay here with the women who work for me. Watch the field where the men are harvesting, and follow along after the women. I have told the men not to lay a hand on you.’” (Ruth 2:2-9 abridged)

So, what feelings might Ruth have had to overcome to provide for herself and Naomi? 

Shame: Gleaning fields was for the poor and destitute. Ruth’s choice to do this meant putting aside her pride and accepting that she had descended to the bottom rung of society’s ladder.

Emotional Exhaustion: It’s likely that living with her bitter mother-in-law in poverty drained her emotionally, yet she pressed on to provide food for them.

Physical Exhaustion: Gleaning in the fields was probably back-breaking labor in the hot sun, yet the story tells us Ruth worked so hard she earned the respect of the hired hands and the the field owner, Boaz.

Grief: Ruth had lost her husband, left her homeland and parents, and was living as a pauper. Being relegated to do manual labor only added insult to injury. She could have wallowed in her emotional pain and used it as a reason to stop trying, but she didn’t.

Fear: The fact that Boaz told his men not to lay a hand on her hints that it was not uncommon for women in her positon to be used and abused by those who had more power. As a foreign woman alone, without ties to male relatives who could protect her, Ruth was incredibly vulnerable. She was easy prey for anyone that wanted to take advantage of her. Fear of being harmed could have been a reasonable excuse not to follow through with gleaning in the fields.

While it’s unlikely anyone reading this would find themselves in a similar situation to Ruth, there is much we can learn from her example. Take a moment to consider the role feelings typically play in your decision-making process. How often do you opt out of something because you just don’t feel like doing it? How often do you press on because you realize it’s worth it in the long run? Do you allow your emotions alone to guide your decisions or do you balance them with reason and intellect? Do you invite the Holy Spirit to help you interpret your feelings and to show you how to respond? Do you consult Scripture to access biblical wisdom?

Consider the words of the writer of Hebrews who gives us Jesus as the ultimate example to follow:

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” (Hebrews 12:1-3, NIV)

Decide right now that you won’t let your emotions be your primary guide. Don’t ignore your feelings, but don’t let them be the only factor you consider when making decisions. Step back and look at the big picture. Consider God’s perspective and then decide the best way to proceed. In the long run, you’ll be more apt to wave that checkered flag of victory knowing you followed through despite how you felt.

Listen to Lauren Daigle’s song “Look Up Child” and be reminded where to fix your eyes when you’re tempted to let your emotions take the lead.

Nicki Koziarz, A Woman Who Doesn’t Quit, Lifeway Press, 2018.

God is With Us in Our Anxiety

Ever noticed those tickers that scroll across the bottom of a TV screen on certain news channels? They provide a constant stream of information so that if we’re not worrying about the main news story, we can find another thing that will unsettle us instead. Unfortunately, I think my brain works in a similar way. Like a news channel, my mind seems to have several screens in view simultaneously, with thoughts in the forefront and a whole lot more that constantly scroll through the background. And the screens multiply as the holidays approach.

I don’t like to admit it, but fighting against feelings of anxiety is a regular struggle for me. And I know I’m not alone. Anxiety is rampant in our culture for people of all ages and stations in life. Even those who faithfully walk with the Lord often forget that Jesus is Immanuel, which means “God with Us.” (Matthew 1:23)  Jesus assured His disciples, “Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (Matthew 28:20)

When I stop to remember this promise, it soothes my frayed nerves and reminds me to lay my worries at the feet of Jesus. Just knowing He is with me eases my racing mind and helps me to realign my focus on Him. If you struggle with anxiety like I do, then you might find reassurance from some of the passages below. Use them to realign your thoughts and to help you trade your anxiety for the true peace found only in Jesus.

1 Peter 5:7
“ Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

A synonym for the word “cast” here is “transfer.” So, casting our anxiety before Jesus means we transfer the tangle of our worries from our minds to His hands. Regardless of how the circumstances unfold, we can trust Him because He cares for us.

Philippians 4:6-8
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

Instead of expending mental energy worrying, we can direct it toward praying about the things that make us anxious. As we thank God for His faithfulness and trustworthiness, He fills us with an inexplicable peace that isn’t tied to our circumstances. That peace allows us to replace anxious thoughts with God’s truth. If you struggle with giving your anxious thoughts to the Lord, try writing them down on a piece of paper or in a prayer journal to stop spinning on them needlessly.

Romans 12:1-2
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

The world goads us toward worry and anxiety all day long. The best way to fight against this is to pray and ask God to renew your mind. Invite Him to cleanse your mind of worries, fears and fretting and to renew it with thankfulness, hope and peace. Make this a daily practice when those anxious feelings begin to tighten their grip on you.

2 Corinthians 10:5
“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

Many things in this world distract us from the knowledge of God and the truth of His Word. The antidote is to pray and read God’s Word. Whenever I’m feeling anxious, critical or insecure, I stop and ask God to take my thoughts captive and to make them obedient to Him. If I can, I pray aloud using this verse and the previous one together, simply saying, “God, take my thoughts captive and renew my mind.” It’s amazing how quickly claiming the truth of Scripture in prayer shifts my focus away from anxious thoughts and towards the reassurance that God is with me.

Isaiah 26:3
“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.”

To be steadfast is to be resolute, firm or unwavering. When we keep our minds steadfastly focused on God and His trustworthiness, we can find peace in any and every circumstance.

For many of us, the holiday season includes a liberal dose of anxiety. But if we reflect on the Christmas story, we can find examples of people who trusted the Lord instead of fretting.  Take Jesus’ mother, Mary, for example. She praised God for choosing her to be the mother of the long-promised Messiah. Her status as an unwed, pregnant teen opened her to ridicule, judgement and shame. Yet because of her trust in God, she could say with confidence, “I am the Lord’s servant…May your word to me be fulfilled…My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior.” (Luke 1:38, 46b, 47) If anyone had cause to be anxious, it was Mary. Yet she trusted God, rejoiced at His goodness and welcomed the new direction her life would be taking. She knew God would be with her no matter what stressful circumstances she would encounter.

Thinking about Mary’s situation and her reaction to it humbles me. She not only accepted God’s plan, she welcomed it, celebrating her pregnancy instead of being anxious over it. Her example inspires me to trust God and give Him control of that ticker scrolling through my brain.  Let the significance of her trust in God sink in as you listen to “Be Born in Me” by Francesca Battistelli.

All Scriptures quoted from the New International Version.

The God of All Comfort

Stepping into line, I clutched my son’s tiny hand and kept my head down as we inched toward his classroom door. The preschool check-in process always took a while, but was usually a fun time to catch up with other moms. Normally I would have been chatting with friends and acquaintances or smiling at people walking by. But on that day, it took every ounce of energy just to walk into the building. Participating in such a “normal” activity felt surreal when I felt so raw, exposed, and vulnerable.

It had been only a few days earlier that I’d sat at my dad’s bedside as he exhaled his final breath surrounded by family. For the two weeks prior to that I’d been consumed with making arrangements, communicating with family, and trekking back and forth to the facility where he was receiving hospice care. I’d been so removed from regular life that it felt overwhelming just being out in public to drop off my son at school. My sagging shoulders and red-rimmed eyes told everyone all was not well with me. It was almost like I had stickers all over my clothes that said, “Fragile: Handle with Care.”

I assumed most of the moms I was standing with knew I’d just lost my dad since one of them had sent flowers from the class. Despite that kind gesture, not one of them acknowledged my loss in person. Some smiled sympathetically while others avoided eye contact. I didn’t fault them for it—most of my peers hadn’t yet experienced the death of a parent and didn’t know what to say, so they took the safest route and decided to say nothing.

After a few awkward minutes, I felt someone’s arms wrap around me from behind. As I turned to see who it was, a mom I barely knew pulled me closer. Hugging me tightly, she said, “I’m so sorry for your loss. My dad died a few years ago– I totally get what you’re going through.” She went on to describe the range of emotions she’d experienced, mirroring mine exactly. What a relief it was to encounter someone who understood my pain. She didn’t try to fix it, she just identified with it.  Her presence and willingness to revisit her own hurt were a tremendous comfort to me.

In the years since then, I’ve tried to be intentional about reaching out to others who have experienced loss. God has regularly prompted me to offer comfort in different ways, whether it is writing a card, providing a listening ear, delivering a meal, or sharing music that has brought me comfort and hope.  It wasn’t until later that I realized that doing these things has been in God’s plan from the start:

 “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4, NIV)

Every person on the planet experiences painful situations at different points in life, whether they are visited upon us or self-inflicted. No matter what the circumstances are, we have a choice in how we respond. We can seize the opportunity to let God teach us through hardships, or we can wallow in self-pity and risk becoming disillusioned and bitter. Challenging experiences are conduits for learning and growing spiritually. They also provide fertile ground for receiving God’s comfort. When we lean into Him through them, we also inspire and impact others through the faith we demonstrate.

Difficulties are an opportunity to grow in our empathy for others who will experience similar situations. Our pain can equip us to show God’s comfort to people who desperately need it. We can even be intentional about praying for God to lead us to people we can bless with His comfort.

Sometimes when you’re in a season of pain it may feel like God is distant. However, Scripture promises: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18, NIV)  Ask Him to help you feel His presence and to be open to His comfort. Sometimes He does this through Scripture, a song, or written words from someone with godly wisdom.  Other times, He blesses us with people who can walk with us through our struggles.

Occasionally painful chapters in our lives tempt us to pull back from people and to isolate ourselves. While a little alone time can help to ground you, too much can cause you to spiral into unhealthy places emotionally. Even though it’s difficult, try to let others listen and encourage you. Some may have had similar experiences and can be a source of support for you.  In time, you’ll receive comfort and wisdom and you’ll be able to do the same for someone else.

In God’s economy, nothing is wasted, even our pain. All of it can be used for good when we allow Him to speak to us through it.

If you’re in a difficult season or know someone else who is, be encouraged by Jason Gray’s song “Nothing is Wasted.”

Kelly Minter, All Things New: A Study on 2 Corinthians, Lifeway Press, 2016.

Keep Your Head

Letting out a big sigh, I berated myself silently. I had committed to writing a Bible study focusing on the women in Jesus’ family line for a group at church. The idea seemed brilliant until I started digging into the lives of the characters. Some of the stories involving them were inspiring, but many were disconcerting or downright unsavory.

Weighing my options, I considered leaving out one or two names on the list that seemed too difficult to tackle. But after consulting with my  Bible study’s coordinator and mulling things over a bit more, I decided to push through and see what God had in store. Their lives were messy and complicated but they were all in the lineage of Jesus for a reason.

Further exacerbating the situation, I’d planned on using the lessons I was writing to lead another group of women who were newer to Bible study. I had no idea how I would explain some of the stories we were going to unpack. Still, I knew that leaving out the ugly parts and trying to present more sanitized versions would be inauthentic and dishonest. It would also limit opportunities to grapple with hard topics.

As it turned out, some of the “colorful” characters I dreaded discussing turned out to be the ones that inspired me most. Throughout the months of studying with those two different groups of women, I learned the beauty of wrestling with others through hard questions that didn’t have easy answers. And while we didn’t tie a neat bow on every discussion, we all learned and grew by not avoiding some of those stickier topics.

Melissa Moore puts it this way, “When we are not ashamed of the gospel, we have the freedom to ask good questions and listen to other people well. We are faithful to the tradition we’ve received but the bottom line is not protecting our big egos. We keep reading Scripture carefully, proving ourselves to be ones who carefully handle the word of truth (2:15), and we are not threatened by any worldview or perspective. We do not have to let go of our Christian convictions to actually hear somebody out. We are unashamed in our message; we proclaim it, persist in it, whether it is convenient or not (2 Time 4:2), and we do this with kindness and patience. Generous listening is a revolutionary act of kindness in a world of screaming and competing voices.” (Entrusted p. 153)

For me, the key to discussing hard topics in Scripture is deciding not to feel personally threatened by people whose views differ from mine. To be honest, I am not a person that enjoys a lively debate or sparring with words. In fact, I have a deep aversion to tension and conflict in relationships. But, I have learned the value in listening respectfully and offering a counter perspective. I’ve discovered the freedom in admitting I don’t have all the answers. And each time I have a challenging conversation with someone who asks hard questions, my faith grows exponentially. When I research to find more information about a thorny topic, my knowledge also grows. Sometimes I even get to circle back with the person who asked me about it to shed more light on the issue.

Paul admonishes Timothy saying, “Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction… keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry. (2 Timothy 4:2 & 5, NIV)

Two phrases stand out in Paul’s list of instructions, the first is “with great patience” and the second is “keep your head.” When we’re talking about our faith with believers who differ from us or nonbelievers who lack understanding, these are important components to keep in mind.

Demonstrating great patience usually requires praying for the intervention of the Holy Spirit. If we get offended by someone’s differing viewpoint or irritated by their lack of understanding, we can’t keep a healthy dialogue going. And when we have the patience to see that a hard topic may require more than one conversation, it helps us to relax and not push so hard to overload someone with our opinions.

Paul also says, “keep your head,” reminding us not to takes things personally. When you’re having a hard conversation about spiritual matters, emotions intensify. If you start to feel your face flush or your jaw clench, pause and pray to keep your head. Losing your temper or getting defensive is not going to take a conversation about your faith in the right direction. If needed, put an end to the discussion before you lash out or say something hurtful. Your goal should be to finish on a positive note so that you still have an opening to talk more later.

There’s no doubt we’re living in tumultuous times where the Christian worldview is taking a beating. But if we shy away from opportunities to share the gospel, we’re not fulfilling our call to further God’s kingdom on earth. How can we lament the negative things we see in the world if we’re too fearful to impact others with the truth of God’s Word?

If you’re feeling weary and discouraged living in a culture that doesn’t put up with sound doctrine as Paul describes in 2 Timothy 4:3, take heart and be encouraged by Rend Collective’s song  “More Than Conquerors” included below.

And if you’re interested in learning more about the Bible study I wrote on the women in Jesus’ lineage or want to order a copy, click on the link below.

Click here for more information on Women of the Word: The Family Tree of Jesus.

Beth Moore, Entrusted: A Study of 2 Timothy, Lifeway Press 2016.

 

Joyfully Sad

It’s the little things that catch me by surprise—the lone toothbrush on the counter where there used to be two, the neatly made bed that wasn’t slept in the night before, or the empty hamper that used to be overflowing no matter how often I did the laundry. From my description, it almost sounds as if we’ve had a death in the family. And although we are grieving the absence of our first born, he’s not only alive and well, but thriving as a freshman in college. I wasn’t prepared for the conflicting feelings that would accompany his departure: the deep ache of knowing that our family will never be quite the same contrasted by the profound joy of watching our son launch into adulthood.

I braced myself for his departure during his senior year. Tears flowed at different milestones: making his last school lunch, waving as he and his brother drove off together on the final day of school, watching him cross the stage at graduation. The intensity of emotions increased at the end of the summer when we flew 1500 miles from home to get him settled at college.  Toggling between the joy of watching him embrace his new surroundings and the sadness of leaving him felt like a wild ride on a wobbly see-saw.

Since returning, we’re slowly adjusting to setting three places at the table instead of four. I miss swapping sections of the newspaper with him at breakfast and the camaraderie of working side by side at computers in our office. It doesn’t take much for a lump to form in my throat these days. I could easily wallow in sadness thinking about the magnitude of this change in our family. Lamenting about how things will never be the same can feel like swimming in an overcoat—I could easily drown in sorrow. Letting the tears flow is healthy and good, but lingering too long in sadness is not. It will only wear a groove in my brain that leads me down the same negative path over and over again.

With my son’s departure, I’ve been reflecting on my own college years. My parents laid a solid foundation for me in the first eighteen years of my life, but I had to launch from home to continue building on that foundation. They had to take a lesser role for me to mature fully. I wouldn’t want to deny my son that same experience. And really, isn’t that the whole point of parenting?

Our children arrive in our lives as tiny, needy little people. They start out relying on us for everything. But with each stage of development, they take one step closer to independence. We cheer for them when they first crawl and later walk. We’re relieved when they begin to eat, dress and bathe on their own. They start school and we coach them toward taking responsibility and doing homework without being reminded. At each stage of parenting, we’re teaching them a little more about how to navigate the world without us.

A friend recently coined the term “joyfully sad” to describe the paradox of this season. It perfectly describes the tangle of emotions that arise when grown children are finally ready to launch. They will always be our kids, but that hands-on parenting of their first eighteen years is no longer needed. And this is good and right.

Part of what makes childhood something to savor is that it doesn’t last. There is beauty in things that are fleeting—whether it is a delicate flower, a vibrant sunrise, or a newborn baby. There’s no time to take them for granted because they fade and change so quickly. Instead we enjoy them while we can.

My husband and I soaked in every moment with our son during our last few days with him at his new school. Before the dreaded time came to meet him on campus to say goodbye, we clasped hands to pray in our hotel room. Amidst the tears of joy and sadness, we thanked God for entrusting him to us and giving us the privilege of raising him for eighteen years.  And then we gave him back to the God who knew him, loved him, and chose him especially for us before time began. Our son was entrusted to us for a season and we relished every moment of his childhood. He will always be our precious boy. We know we have many milestones yet to share with him. And as the next leg of his journey begins, we are learning to adapt to our changing role.  Although we no longer see him daily, we rest in the knowledge that God remains at his side for this season and all the others that lie ahead.

Faith Foundation #9: Trust Brings Peace

Digging in my paddle against the current, I pulled hard. Choppy water slapped against my board and threatened to topple me as the afternoon breeze gained force. What had started as a relaxing jaunt around the bay had quickly turned into a punishing workout. With my knees bent and my head low, I gritted my teeth to get through the most exposed part of the harbor. Between the large boats chugging by and the lack of protection from the wind, it felt a little like riding a scooter on the freeway. Rounding the final bend, the calmer waters between two islands finally came into view.  No matter how rough the main part of the harbor got, I could always count on easy paddling through that peaceful little channel.

It wasn’t long before I saw the connection between that experience and one of my favorite passages in the Bible: “You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” (Isaiah 26:3, NIV).  It took determination to paddle against the strong current toward calm water.  We need to use that same kind of steadfastness in our minds when we’re struggling for peace. Every moment our thoughts can draw us further towards it or further away from it, but a steadfast mind is resolute and unwavering. It isn’t deterred by the wind and waves of circumstances, nor is it overwhelmed by them. Trusting God enables us to see beyond our present situations to the One who is more powerful than the strongest current or the fiercest wind.

Over the past few weeks I’ve returned to this mental picture of the safe harbor many times as I’ve been preparing to launch my firstborn child to college. It is an intense season in our family on every level—physically, relationally, spiritually and emotionally. My heart aches as I think about my son being 1500 miles from home. The years have flown and it’s hard to believe our family  is transitioning into this new era. More than once I’ve felt like the waves of circumstances and emotions are going to topple me, but then I stop and picture that safe, calm channel.  I remind myself to remain steadfast in trusting God and I invite Him to soothe my aching heart.

Every season of life brings new challenges and new opportunities to trust God. If we rely on easy circumstances to be the source our peace, we’ll often find ourselves without it. But if we trust God, who sees a much bigger picture than we do, we can mentally stay in that safe harbor, no matter how hard the wind is blowing or how rough the water gets.  Learning to rely on Him takes practice, but it brings the only peace that can sustain us over the long haul.

In keeping with the water theme of this post, click on the link to be encouraged by Rend Collective’s song “My Lighthouse.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HA8VtUPgqTc

And if you want to know what the storm in my mind looks like right now, click on the link to hear Nichole Nordeman’s song “Slow Down.” (Don’t watch it if you don’t have tissues handy or if you’re someplace where you don’t want to cry.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=clcNB_EUao8

 

 

 

 

Good Goodbyes-No Other Gods Session 5

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The mama swallow clung to the wall just below her peeping chicks. Perched on the edge of the mud nest in the eaves, her babies flapped their tiny wings. Every few minutes, she would take flight, circling back to the nest and squawking at her chicks, encouraging them to spread their wings and fly. One by one, the babies wobbled out of the nest, plummeted a few feet and then discovered what they were made to do. There was one tiny bird, however, that clung to the nest long after the others had flown off. The mama squawked insistently, darting back and forth near her little one to encourage him to fly. When he finally did, we couldn’t help cheering, feeling privileged to have witnessed his momentous first flight.

I thought about that moment as I read Kelly Minter’s fifth lesson in No Other Gods entitled “Good Goodbyes.” Like the mother swallow urging her chicks to take flight, Minter encourages us to examine the things in our lives that we might need to bid farewell if we’re serious about eliminating idols. For many of us, staying in the cozy, warm nest feels a lot more comfortable and secure than launching out. Although the freedom of flying beckons us, we’re more worried about plummeting to the ground.

Ironically, some of the things God calls us to bid farewell didn’t start out as idols, they were actually good things that helped us to grow. But once we start relying on them to fill us or to provide comfort or security, they can become idols.  And then it’s time to say goodbye. For me, this has often been related to the desire to belong. I’ve spent a good portion of my life viewing myself as an outlier, someone often on the outside looking in. So when I’ve found a person or group where I feel accepted and included, I can latch on pretty tightly—to a degree that often becomes unhealthy. Regardless of whether it’s people in a women’s Bible study, an accountability group or a few close friends, I always need to monitor how much I’m looking to them for identity and reassurance. There are times when God has had to remove me from a group before I’m able to see that I was clinging to it more tightly than I should have been. Here are a few other situations where good goodbyes may be in order:

A role you’re used to playing:

Maybe you’re so accustomed to being in charge, leading or hosting that you’re preventing others from having the opportunity to grow and be stretched in new ways. This could be true in a family, a church, a small group, a volunteer organization or at work.

On the other hand, maybe you’re used to being served and being a participant. You like having little or no responsibility so that you can come and go as you please. Or maybe you’re accustomed to playing the cynic, always seeing what’s wrong with a group so that you have an excuse for never engaging it on a deeper level.

Regardless of which description you identify with above, if you’re in a position that is causing you to be stagnant or that is preventing others the opportunity for growth, it may be time for a “good goodbye” to that role.

A person you’re depending on:

 God brings people into our lives at different seasons to pour into us, to nurture us and to help us develop our potential. Sometimes he blesses us with a partner in ministry that brings the perfect amount of balance and support. But just like the mama bird has to urge her chicks out of the nest, there comes a time when we need to spread our wings and fly. When we begin to depend upon a specific person to continue feeding and supporting us, we may be unintentionally making a new idol.

Even Jesus, the ultimate mentor, left the earth so that his disciples could learn to rely on the Holy Spirit (see John 14 for more on this). Jesus’ physical departure from earth catapulted Peter and the apostles into key leadership roles in the burgeoning Christian church. Think about the power and authority Peter showed in the book of Acts compared to his impulsivity and immaturity in the gospels. Through relying on the Holy Spirit, he led many disciples in spreading the good news of the gospel in Jerusalem, “Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” (Acts 1:8b, NIV)

Similarly, there may come a time when you’re called to move on from people you depend on or partner with. It can be a “good goodbye” if you take the things you’ve learned from them, rely on the Holy Spirit, spread your wings and fly.

 A group you value:

 As Christians, we are called into community. When we find like-minded people we can journey beside in life, this is a true blessing. In Acts chapter 2 the fellowship of believers enjoyed meeting together daily to break bread and grow in faith. We know they weren’t a closed group because Scripture tells us “they added to their numbers daily those who were being saved.” (Acts 2:47b). Eventually, however, the believers scattered in the face of persecution and in the process they spread the gospel far and wide.  It was probably painful for the fellowship to break apart, but ultimately it enabled them to impact many more people.

Sometimes a “good goodbye” may be in order when we want to remain part of a particular group so much that we’re holding ourselves back from a new calling God has for us. If we lock arms with others and look inward instead of trusting God’s leading, we are dangerously close to making that cherished group into an idol.

Jeremy Camp’s song “Christ in Me” challenges me to remember that when I relinquish my idols and fix my gaze on Jesus, I find true freedom. Click on the link to hear a musical inspiration for saying “good goodbyes.”

Continue reading “Good Goodbyes-No Other Gods Session 5”

Seeking Biblical Truth in the Post-Truth Era: No Other Gods Session 3

For followers of Jesus, navigating life in the era of “post-truth” means we must swim against the current of our culture.

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(Third in a series of posts inspired by Kelly Minter’s Bible Study No Other Gods.)

Turning up the volume on the radio, I wasn’t sure I’d heard the announcer correctly. She was sharing her thoughts on the Oxford English Dictionary’s word of the year for 2016. It is an annual event for the dictionary staff to narrow down a list of words that highlight the ways the English language is changing in response to current events. In case you haven’t heard yet, this year’s word is “post-truth.” The official definition is: “Relating to or denoting circumstances in which objective facts are less influential in shaping public opinion than appeals to emotion and personal belief.” So, basically, post-truth means defining what is true based on feelings and personal beliefs rather than actual facts.

For followers of Jesus, navigating life in the era of “post-truth” means we must swim against the current of our culture. While people around us are deciding what they want to be true based on their feelings, we must hold firmly to the truth of God’s Word. I see a clear connection here to what I’m learning about lies in No Other Gods. Author Kelly Minter says, “I don’t see God’s heart in Scripture telling us to separate ourselves with a self-righteous finger that points at all the ‘sinners’ in pop culture. Instead God clearly teaches us to love all people. But loving is very different from putting ourselves in the way of messages that oppose His truth. It’s different than leaving open doors for the lies of culture to waltz into our hearts.” (No Other Gods, p. 67)

The lies of our culture permeate our lives, subtly and continually influencing us to revise our stance on what is actually truth. Reading through 2 Timothy 3, it’s easy to see connections to our world today: “But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God.” (2 Timothy 3:1-4, NIV)

So many examples from current culture come to mind as I read this that it’s hard to know where to start. With the onslaught of technology and the rise of social media, it’s become commonplace to embrace and celebrate every one of those things. It’s not hard to see pleasure and comfort are valued more than almost anything else. Many movies, shows, theater productions, magazines, popular songs and famous people model and promote living in a way that lacks self-control and values self-absorption (and pretty much everything else listed).

As followers of Jesus, however, we are called to a different standard. We cannot afford to be “always learning but never able to come to a knowledge of the truth.” (2 Tim 3:7, NIV) God’s Word is our standard of truth, but it’s up to us to absorb what we learn and then to live like we believe it. In a world that no longer cares about actual truth, this is especially challenging. The more we make choices that honor God, the more unusual we will appear to others in our culture.

Now that you’ve seen what NOT to embrace, maybe you’d like some specifics to help you understand how to honor God and stay aligned with truth.  Here is a great start: “Make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love.”  The final statement of this passage explains what we gain as a result: “For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (2 Peter 1:5-8, NIV)

I don’t know about you, but if I’m going to follow Jesus, I don’t want my endeavors to be ineffective or unproductive.  I don’t want to ride the fence and dabble in my faith while simultaneously letting the world shape my values and opinions.

I also don’t want to be someone who knows the truth of God’s Word but chooses to embrace the lies of the world or let my emotions lead me.  People like this are in the worst position of all: “If they have escaped the corruption of the world by knowing our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and are again entangled in it and are overcome, they are worse off at the end than they were at the beginning. It would have been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than to have known it and then to turn their backs on the sacred command that was passed on to them.” (2 Peter 2:20-21, NIV)

Living according to God’s Word is the path to freedom, hope, wisdom joy, and salvation. Our culture continually feeds us lies to distract us from this truth. God’s ways and plans are best, but the Enemy will stop at nothing to make us forget this. He loves to lure people into compromising what they know is right so that they can find fleeting acceptance, false hope or temporary comfort. But we know better, don’t we? Hold tightly to God’s Word and continue to study it diligently. Although you can’t entirely remove yourself from the lies that permeate our culture, you can learn to identify them and reject them when you know the truth.

In Session 3 of No Other Gods, Kelly Minter includes lyrics to a song about lies written and performed by one of the “NOGS.” To hear “Liar’s Dream” by Alli Rogers, click on the link. If you have your book handy, you can follow along by reading the lyrics on pages 71-2.

Continue reading “Seeking Biblical Truth in the Post-Truth Era: No Other Gods Session 3”

The Sword of the Spirit- The Armor of God Part 7

I’ve begun to notice a clear difference between the lives of people who are actively engaging God’s Word and people who simply embrace the Christian lifestyle and its values.

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To say I was going through a rough patch would be an understatement. One of my boys was a toddler and the other was in pre-school and although life at home was good, some hard situations outside our household were weighing heavily upon me. Looking back, I see that there was an element of spiritual attack I hadn’t even considered.

I remember one morning in that season I awoke feeling especially burdened with dark thoughts and anguished emotions. Sitting at the breakfast table flanked by one son in a high chair and the other chattering beside me, something triggered a flood of tears. The lump in my throat couldn’t hold back the sobs as I pushed my chair back and abruptly left the kitchen. Throwing myself face down on my bed, I wasn’t even sure why I was crying, but the tears wouldn’t cease.

A tap on my shoulder a few minutes later gently reminded me I had little people to tend to and forced me to gather my emotions. Wiping tears away, I tried to regain my composure as I looked up to find my older son standing in front of me. He held out his Beginners Bible and with wisdom that defied his tender age simply said, “Here Mom, read this. It’ll make you feel better.” I’m still not sure how he knew to bring me a Bible, but I’d been following his advice since long before he was born.

I’ll never forget the first time the words of Scripture jumped off the page, making me feel like a passage had been written just for me. I was a freshman in college, struggling to find true friends and to live by God’s standards. It was not the easiest time in life to decide to follow after Jesus whole-heartedly. The many worldly temptations of college had wooed away the one friend from home I’d depended on for spiritual support. Trying to shine a light for Jesus in the dark was not easy. I felt utterly alone, but undaunted in my desire to pursue Christ without compromise. And then one morning I stumbled across this passage:

“In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” (1 Peter 1:6-7, NIV)

Armed with this verse in the face of deep discouragement, I sensed God telling me not to lose my perspective. The trials I was facing were temporary, but if I persevered through them, my faith would prove genuine, which was eternal. Eventually, God also brought me friends who were godly, encouraging, and just plain fun.

Since that time, many more verses have felt especially relevant and personal in different seasons of my life. So much so, that I could make a time line of events in my life with corresponding Scriptures that spoke directly to me with words of wisdom, comfort, and direction. God’s Word has provided truth and light when I’ve been deceived by lies or have lost my way. It’s given me encouragement in times of trouble and hope when I’m tempted to despair.  I guess that makes sense considering Paul lists it as the final piece in the armor of God when he says, “take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.”  (Ephesians 10:17, NIV)

The Bible has been my greatest weapon to fend off attacks of the evil one throughout my adult life. And because it is the spoken Word of God, it is always fresh, relevant and personal. “For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart”  (Hebrews 4:12, NIV).  Scripture is so much more than just words on a page.  When we engage it and apply it to our lives, it changes us.  It changes our attitudes, our desires, our relationships and the things we value.   It is a guide for every aspect of daily living.  It is our solid foundation and the plumb line that keeps us aligned with God’s will.

I’ve begun to notice a clear difference between the lives of people who are actively engaging God’s Word and people who simply embrace the Christian lifestyle and its values.  People who study the Bible consistently and apply what they’ve learned have a passion and a sense of purpose in what they do.  They serve others out of gratitude to God, not as an obligation.  They grapple with hard truths and have teachable spirits.  They are hungry to know more about God and how He’s calling them to live.  They don’t follow rules and checklists–they abide with Jesus and let the Holy Spirit guide them.  Their lives are not safe and predictable.  They trust God when things get messy and complicated.  They have too much integrity to worry about whether or not they are “showing well” or impressing the “right” people. They are profoundly aware that they are sinners only saved by Gods’ grace.  Their resulting gratitude causes them to give their lives for God’s Kingdom purposes.

Putting on the armor of God daily means putting into practice what we say we believe. And when we do that, the enemy doesn’t stand a chance.

I can think of no better song to include than Third Day’s “Your Words.” Click on the link to enjoy a musical reminder of the value of God’s Word:

Priscilla Shirer, The Armor of God, Lifeway Press, 2015.