Category: Fellowship

Grieving the Spirit

Isn’t there something magical about a campfire under the stars? Wood crackles and pops as flames dance on a cool, dark night. The light draws people to gather and enjoy the warmth. It creates a sense of connectedness among those who savor the glow together—especially on a chilly evening. 

For the past few years I’ve enjoyed participating in this nightly ritual on our church’s annual mission to Mexico. One year the temperatures were especially cold, so gathering around the campfire was even more enticing. At the end of each evening, the only way to encourage the students to return to their tents was to douse the flames. As buckets of water poured out, steam hissed, rising with plumes of smoke from the quenched fire. Once the water extinguished the flames, everyone scattered to seek warmth zipped inside tents and nestled in sleeping bags.

This image brings to mind the Holy Spirit, often characterized as fire in the pages of Scripture. Acts 2 provides the most obvious example of this: “When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place. Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them.” (Acts 2:1-4, NIV)

Although we no longer see actual flames on our heads, followers of Jesus still have the fire of the Holy Spirit living within us. And just like a campfire, we can stoke the flame of the Spirit, or squelch it. That’s why Paul includes such specific and clear instructions in Ephesians 4 for how to walk worthy of our calling. He says: “And don’t grieve God’s Holy Spirit. You were sealed by him for the day of redemption.” (Ephesians 4:30, CSB) Paul makes a similar statement in another one of his letters: “Do not quench the Spirit.” (1 Thessalonians 5:19, NIV)

These statements astound me– as frail humans, we have the capacity to sadden or squelch God’s Holy Spirit dwelling inside of us. When we walk aligned with the world, the flesh, and the devil instead of in a manner worthy of our calling, we make Him sorrowful, distressed, and heavy-hearted. Author and pastor Megan Fate Marshman explains “Grief is the recognition that something is not as it should be.” It is an “appropriate response to things being out of alignment with God’s plan.”1

Ephesians is a book about unity—first between God and humans, then between Jews and Gentiles—all made possible through Christ’s sacrifice. So, we grieve the Spirit when we choose to break that unity with God and others by sinning. This is why Paul lays out many specific instructions for walking worthy of our calling. 

So, how do we do we avoid grieving or quenching the Spirit? “Let all bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander be removed from you, along with all malice. And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.” (Ephesians 4:31-32, CSB)

Honoring or grieving the Lord has everything to do with how we live—our mindsets, the choices we make, and the way we treat others. That’s why Paul covers so many topics in Ephesians 4 including our sexual practices, our choice to be truthful and trustworthy, and how we speak to one another. The passage above shows that bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, slander, and contempt have no place in the lives of authentic followers of Jesus. Instead, we’re called to be kind, tender hearted, and forgiving.  We’re urged to reject evil and embrace good. 

While I could list many examples and scenarios to illustrate these principles, I think your time would be more wisely spent inviting the Lord to search your heart to make this personal. Consider re-reading Ephesians 4 slowly and asking Him to show you if there are ways you’re grieving or quenching His Spirit. Give God permission to reveal any attitudes or perspectives you’ve adopted from the world that dishonor Him. Let Him shine a light on your behavior toward others that grieves His heart. 

As the Lord brings specific sins to mind, confess them to Him and cancel permission for the enemy to use them as an access point in your life any longer. Command any darkness or evil to leave and invite the Holy Spirit to come and expand His presence in your life.2

 There’s no way to succeed in walking worthy of Christ by trying harder on our own; we were never meant to do that. Thankfully, with the Holy Spirit dwelling in our hearts through faith, we have unlimited access to all the help we need. 

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  • 1. Megan Fate Marshman, Relaxed: Walking with the One Who Is Not Worried about a Thing, Zondervan, 2024.
  • 2. Inspired by Tim Hughes’ sermon, “Are You Hungry?” Park Hill Church Podcast, August 6, 2023. Available on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

Inspired by Ephesians: A Study of Faith and Practice by Jackie Hill Perry, Jasmine Holmes and Melissa Kruger, Lifeway Press, 2024

No Partiality

Continuing to break new ground in the early church, the Holy Spirit reveals the next stage of God’s unfolding plan in Acts 10.  This chapter pivots from Saul back to Peter, who has an unusual meeting with a Roman Centurion named Cornelius that heralds a significant shift in the early Church. When the Jewish apostle and the God-fearing Gentile meet face to face, there’s no doubt it’s been divinely ordained. Recognizing God’s hand at work, Peter explains what the Lord has shown him: “I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism but accepts from every nation the one who fears him and does what is right.” (Acts 10:34b-35, NIV)

Luke’s narrative continues, “While Peter was still speaking these words, the Holy Spirit came on all who heard the message. The circumcised believers who had come with Peter were astonished that the gift of the Holy Spirit had been poured out even on Gentiles. For they heard them speaking in tongues and praising God.” (Acts 10:44-46, NIV)

“With one simple act, by the power of the Holy Spirit, Peter shows that in the kingdom of God there is no favoritism—the gospel is for everyone.”1 While we may see this story as a significant turning point in our Church history, it also has relevant application for believers today. Jesus’ brother James writes: “If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself,’ you are doing right. But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers.” (James 2:8-9, NIV)

The call to love our neighbors as ourselves appears nine times in Scripture. However, there are moments when we opt out of this command and rationalize our choice to do so. While we may not like admitting it, none of us is without blind spots and unconscious biases. Rather than denying this, we can honor the Lord by asking Him to show us attitudes that dishonor Him and discount others. 

If we’re honest, there are certain people we avoid because of behaviors, attitudes, and lifestyles that we dislike, disagree with, or find distasteful. Beyond obvious differences in race, socioeconomic status, or education, we also make more subtle judgements about others.

It’s natural for people to be drawn to those who are similar and to keep their distance from individuals who cause them to feel awkward, threatened, or uncomfortable. But when partiality shows up in those who follow Jesus, we must admit it and invite the Spirit’s guidance on making healthy changes. While it differs from person to person, here are a few examples that come to mind:

-People who hold different political views. That person who proudly supports a candidate, party, or issue that makes your blood boil is still worthy of God’s love. Jesus’ original twelve disciples included two who were polar opposites politically: “Jesus chose Simon the Zealot, a man who likely desired to forcibly remove the Roman government, and He also chose Matthew, a tax collector working for the Roman government. Both Simon and Matthew, though natural enemies, were part of the Twelve.”2 Two men with opposite political stances put aside their differences through a shared love of Jesus. Like them, we must keep our strong opinions in check and love people regardless of their political affiliations.

-People contending with issues that you don’t understand or haven’t experienced. Maybe it’s the parent of a child with a severe disability. Perhaps it’s a parent with a child struggling with sexual identity or gender dysphoria. Maybe it’s someone with an addiction or mental illness. Often people who are anxious, depressed, or in distress don’t have the energy for good social skills. Sometimes we find it easier to avoid those who have struggles that make us uncomfortable rather than listening, showing kindness, and seeking understanding. 

-People who seem shallow or disinterested in spiritual life. Perhaps there’s someone in your circle of acquaintances who prioritizes fun and socializing above all else. Maybe it’s a person who is always the life of the party or seems to lack depth of character. They hide their hurts and needs behind a broad smile, a boisterous laugh, and deflecting humor. When we judge and dismiss them, we’re keeping the Lord from using us to show them His love. 

-People who have made choices we don’t understand. Maybe it’s someone who leaves a spouse. Rather than reaching out to offer support, we hold back with subtle disapproval. Without knowing the story, we’ve already decided they are doing wrong. Instead of showing compassion or seeking understanding, our avoidance compounds feelings of loneliness or rejection they’re already experiencing; we alienate them from the supportive community of faith they need most.

When we’re quick to judge and draw conclusions based on what we see on the outside of another person, we’re displaying partiality. Maybe, like me, you fear that showing support communicates approval of sins. Perhaps you think withholding affection and warmth equates with maintaining high moral standards. Doing this means missing the opportunity to show God’s love when a person is struggling and feeling alone.

Although not everything described above equates with sin, most of us find certain sins more acceptable than others. But it’s important to remember that God sees all sin as worthy of death (Romans 6:23). We magnify other’s shortcomings and forget that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23, NIV). This makes us prideful, condescending, and judgmental, overlooking Scripture’s assertion that “mercy triumphs over judgment.” (James 2:13b, NIV) We must humbly remember “God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8, NIV) So, we’d be wise to take off the judge’s robes and leave that job to the Lord (Luke 6:37). God’s kindness leads to repentance (Romans 2:4) so, our passion should be to share His kindness without partiality. He doesn’t show favoritism, so let’s pray for eyes to see those we may be discounting that the Lord is calling us to love.

  • 1. Acts Part One: The Gospel Goes Out, The Village Church, 2019, 92.
  • 2. https://www.gotquestions.org/Zealots-Bible.html

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Love People Podcast

Unzipping the tent, I poked my head into the opening searching for an empty spot to drop my bags. Inside, the teen girls lounging on sleeping bags smiled and introduced themselves, immediately putting me at ease. After a two year hiatus due to COVID, we were re-launching our church’s annual student mission trip to Mexico. With both of my sons now out of high school, it was my first time going solo. Feeling a little insecure, I wondered if the students would be excited about having an “older” leader like me. Their initial greeting on the first day quelled my fears and enabled me to dive in and get to know the girls throughout the week. 

As we spent time talking about our faith each night after the campfire program, I was inspired to see how mature and genuine the girls were about their relationships with Jesus. Their eagerness to grow, serve, and learn was far beyond what I’d been like in high school. I wondered how I could spur on their desire for spiritual maturity after the trip, but was hesitant to add another commitment to my schedule.

A few months after we returned home, one of the girls reached out to me following an impactful experience on our church’s houseboat trip. Sitting with me in a coffee shop, she gushed about how her faith had come to life even more and wondered if I had ideas for how she could continue growing. Compelled by the Holy Spirit, words tumbled out of my mouth before I had time to think. I heard myself offering to meet with her regularly and suggesting we invite the other girls from our Mexico tent to join us. She accepted my offer without hesitation. When I reached out to the other girls, all three said “yes” immediately too. We had no idea how we’d sync up our busy schedules, but God showed us the way. Soon, the five of us began meeting from 7 to 8 every Friday morning. 

For the past school year, we’ve staked out a quiet corner in a local bagel shop, pushed two small tables together and studied Scripture (We’ve covered all twenty-one chapters of the Gospel of John and are now knee deep in Ephesians). Each week I’ve written a short lesson to guide our discussion. Pouring into these young women and watching them grow in faith has been a highlight of the year for me. The Lord always seems to multiply my time to prepare for our mornings together. Never once has it felt like a burden or an obligation.

All four girls recently graduated from high school and will be moving away to attend college in the fall. We’ll continue meeting as much as possible this summer until it’s time for them to leave. I well up with gratitude and joy as I think of them and how God has shaped them this year. What would I have missed if I’d listened to my insecurity and skipped the Mexico trip? Or if I’d decided I didn’t have time to meet with them for Bible study this year? By responding to the prompting of the Holy Spirit I’ve been equipped to carry out His plans. 

One of my greatest joys has been cheering on the girls in the different places they’ve chosen to serve and explore their gifts this year. Each of them has made choices that have set them apart from their peers. They have lived worthy of the calling they’ve received (Ephesian 4:1). These young women are maturing spiritually as they discover and use the gifts God has given them. Unlike the majority of their peers, they are “no longer …infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming.” (Ephesians 4:14, NIV).

One of the girls recently started a podcast that gives her a platform to explore different aspects of her walk with Jesus. I had the privilege of being interviewed by her recently and am excited to share our conversation. Her questions gave me a chance to look back and reflect on the different places the Lord has called me. I’ve realized that most of my spiritual growth has happened as He’s pushed me beyond what’s comfortable into situations where I had no choice but to rely on His leading and wisdom. I hope and pray listening to our conversation will prompt you to consider where God may be calling you to trust Him and to let Him use you in a new way.

And now, sit back and enjoy the Love People Podcast.

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A Hard Heart

The showdown between Moses and Pharaoh in Exodus 7-10 displays the Lord’s power as He sends nine different plagues to Egypt, one at a time. Scripture tells us that even as Pharaoh’s people suffer through water turning to blood, frogs, gnats, flies, the death of livestock, boils, hail, locusts, and 3 days of utter darkness, his heart remains hard. Maybe you’ve known someone with a hard heart, or, maybe you’ve gone through seasons of having one yourself. It’s discouraging seeing it in others and not something we want to drift towards in ourselves. So, understanding the causes and solutions for a hardened heart will help us safeguard ourselves and guide us in how to pray for others.

First, let’s clarify the broad biblical meaning of the word “heart.” “The Bible considers the heart to be the hub of human personality, producing the things we would ordinarily ascribe to the ‘mind’… Also, Jesus tells us that the heart is a repository for good and evil and that what comes out of our mouth – good or bad – begins in the heart: ‘A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.’”1 (Luke 6:45, NIV)

No one is immune from developing a hard heart. Even Jesus’ disciples experienced this at times. When Jesus overhears them bickering about not having enough bread for their journey, He says: 

“Why are you talking about having no bread? Do you still not see or understand? Are your hearts hardened? Do you have eyes but fail to see, and ears but fail to hear? And don’t you remember? When I broke the five loaves for the five thousand, how many basketfuls of pieces did you pick up?”

“Twelve,” they replied.

“And when I broke the seven loaves for the four thousand, how many basketfuls of pieces did you pick up?”

They answered, “Seven.”

 He said to them, “Do you still not understand?”

Mark 8:17-21, NIV

Jesus identifies the characteristics of a hard heart as an inability to see, understand, hear, and remember the hand of God at work in our lives. Do you ever lament current circumstances or worry about future ones without remembering how God has provided for you in the past? I do. When we forget to look back at God’s faithfulness or fail to have gratitude, we’re more prone to having feelings of entitlement or resentment when life doesn’t proceed as anticipated. Sometimes our hearts harden when our comfort feels threatened or we don’t get what we think we “deserve.” When we act like God owes us something, we’re overlooking our pitiful state and the Lord’s incredible grace: “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” (Romans 3:23-4, NIV)

Similar to lacking gratitude, unconfessed sin also leads to a hardened heart: “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us.” (1 John 1:8-10, NIV) Ignoring sin causes us to lose our sensitivity to wrongdoing and dulls the conviction of the Holy Spirit. It’s a bit like developing thick callouses on bare feet: We feel the pain of sin less as our hearts harden more. Consider David’s words to the Lord when he finally confesses and repents after committing adultery with Bathsheba: “My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise.” (Psalm 51:17, NIV) David’s heart had to be broken over his sin before he could admit it, turn away from it, and be restored to a right relationship with the Lord.  To prevent our hearts from hardening, we need to be intentional about not letting sin build up in our lives. As we consistently confess and turn away from sin, our hearts remain soft and malleable toward the leading of the Lord.

Pride is another factor leading to a hardened heart. “The root of Pharaoh’s hard-heartedness was his pride and arrogance. Even in the face of tremendous proofs and witnessing God’s powerful hand at work, Pharaoh’s hardened heart caused him to deny the sovereignty of the one, true God.”2 Pride causes us to rely on our own wisdom but Scripture tells us: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.” (Proverbs 3:5-8, NIV)

Neglecting time with the Lord also contributes to a hardened heart because we remain soft and teachable as we seek Him. David provides a pattern for prayer we can follow daily: “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (Psalm 139:23-4, NIV) Studying the Bible consistently also keeps our hearts tethered to the Lord: “I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands. I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.” (Psalm 119:10-11, NIV)

In addition to prioritizing time with the Lord, connecting with other followers of Jesus is vital for accountability. Fellow believers help us to recognize attitudes or behaviors that are dulling our sensitivity to sin or causing us to grow complacent: “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17, NIV) Gathering to worship and study Scripture with other believers also fortifies our faith and keeps us from drifting into apathy or hard heartedness: “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:23-25, NIV)

Paul’s prayer in Ephesians provides an inspiring example of how to pray for others and ourselves: “I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people.” (Ephesians 3:18, NIV)

Click here to enjoy a worship moment Kristian Stanfill’s “My Heart is Yours.”

  1. Quoted from “What are the causes and solutions for a hardened heart?” www.gotquestions.org 

2. ibid

Post inspired by Jen Wilkin’s God of Deliverance: A Study of Exodus 1-18, Lifeway Press, 2021.

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Summer in Sight

A few months ago I read a book called Younger Next Year by Chris Crowley and Henry Lodge. It urges readers to maintain a mindset that pursues growth and staves off decay. The premise is simple: use it or lose it. As we get older, we have to be more intentional about keeping our bodies and minds strong by consistently engaging in physical activities, intellectual challenges, and community connections. 

Although I’ve always believed in the importance of regular exercise, my regimen has become more focused recently. I’ve ridden a spin bike for several years at my own pace, usually while enjoying a podcast or an audio book. I thought I was pushing myself until I started taking classes online. It was humbling to discover how challenging they were. Turns out I wasn’t training as hard as I wanted to believe because my mind and body were focused on different tasks. Getting them in sync has made my workouts more effective. Instead of putting in half-hearted effort, I’m more aware when I need to modify or take a day off to rest. My endurance has improved and I feel stronger and more durable. Because I don’t want to lose the ground I’ve gained, I’m intentional about making plans and goals to maintain my physical fitness.

As formal Bible study programs wind down and we head into the unstructured months of summer, I see a clear correlation to my spiritual life. I’ve grown in the last year through consistently studying God’s Word and gathering with others to learn together. Now, just because organized groups are taking a break, I don’t want to put the brakes on studying the Bible with others: “For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.” (1 Timothy 4:8 NIV)

As much as I love the freedom and flexibility of summer, I know I’m better off maintaining a connection with people who will spur me to stay in God’s Word consistently. Just as forsaking exercise won’t benefit my body, taking a vacation from spiritual growth won’t be positive for my heart or mind.  

One of my favorite things about summer is choosing a study and inviting a few people to meet periodically to discuss it. Looking back, I smile thinking of friendships that have grown during breaks from formal group gatherings at church. I can’t wait to see what God has in store for me this year.

Why not try it too? Summer is the perfect time to ask a few friends to go through a Christian book or Bible study with you. Whether you meet weekly or pick dates around your travels, you’ll be blessed by continuing in community. There’s no better way to create accountability and remain in God’s Word. Don’t let the relaxed pace and warm weather lull you into complacency. If you’d like suggestions for summer studies, click here for a few options.

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”  (Hebrews 10:24-25, NIV)

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Don’t Compensate, Confess

True story: many years ago I received a bouquet from the leader of a group I’d been serving. Although I love flowers and accepted them with a smile, I threw them away as soon as I got home. I’d been hurt repeatedly by the person who presented them to me, so her grand gesture in front of others felt hollow and forced. The flowers were like salt being poured into a gaping wound that she had created. It took a long time and some good counseling to to work through the hurt and bitterness I felt.

Can you relate to my reaction? Have you ever had a relationship with someone who struggled with apologizing? Maybe they tried to compensate for hurting you by giving you gifts, paying you compliments, or offering kind gestures. Whatever they did, it probably didn’t improve your relationship the way admitting they were wrong and asking forgiveness would have.

It doesn’t feel good when people hurt us and then try to “make nice.” Does it surprise you to know that God feels the same way? Consider this passage from Haggai:

“This is what the Lord Almighty says: ‘Ask the priests what the law says: If someone carries consecrated meat in the fold of their garment, and that fold touches some bread or stew, some wine, olive oil or other food, does it become consecrated?’”

The priests answered, “No.”

Then Haggai said, “If a person defiled by contact with a dead body touches one of these things, does it become defiled?”

“Yes,” the priests replied, “it becomes defiled.”

 Then Haggai said, “‘So it is with this people and this nation in my sight,’ declares the Lord. ‘Whatever they do and whatever they offer there is defiled.” (Haggai 2:11-14, NIV)

This somewhat strange example illustrates a hard truth: Our sin not only hurts God, it repulses Him. One commentary explains, “disobedience renders even sacrificial worship unacceptable.”1 Just as a kind gesture doesn’t replace an authentic apology, doing good things to honor the Lord doesn’t compensate for our sin. Approaching Him without confessing our sins hinders our connection to Him.

The prophet Isaiah explains how sin blocks our communication with God: “Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear. But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear.” (Isaiah 59:1-2, NIV) Although confessing our sins may feel uncomfortable, it’s vital for keeping the lines of communication open with God.

Let’s pause for a moment to clarify what sin is. In ancient Greek it means “to miss the mark” and in ancient Hebrew it means “to go astray.” In archery whether an arrow veers from the bullseye by a millimeter or a foot, it still misses. The Bible says we’ve all missed the mark of perfection that God requires: “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23, NIV)

This isn’t just about sins that show on the outside that we consider “big” like murder or adultery. We also fall short by smaller, hidden sins like harboring bitterness, envy, jealousy, and unforgiveness. Being prideful and unwilling to admit we’re wrong are also quiet but destructive sins. 

Our culture doesn’t like to talk about sin or even to acknowledge its existence. But for those who follow Christ, it’s important to remember that our forgiveness was bought at a massive cost. Sin is so bad Jesus came to earth and died to pay for it. Admitting we’re sinners and accepting Jesus’ sacrifice for us on the cross is the only way to compensate for our sin.

There are two elements to forgiveness we need to keep in mind. First is positional forgiveness: “In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace.” (Ephesians 1:7, NIV) This happens when we accept Christ’s death on the cross to pay the penalty for our sins. Acknowledging that we’re sinners and accepting Jesus’ death on the cross as the punishment for our sins eliminates the barrier of sin that kept us from connecting to God personally.

This amazing truth can be confusing, however. We all know that even after accepting Christ, sin is still a factor in our lives. Because of this, we need to be intentional about examining our hearts and actions regularly. Confessing to God when we’ve sinned against Him enables us to receive relational forgiveness. Jennifer Rothschild explains, “He doesn’t love you less because you sin. Rather, He loves you too much to let you stay there.”2 Scripture reassures us: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9, NIV) So, positional forgiveness is a one-time event that redeems our sinful state, saving us from God’s wrath and eternal judgement. On the other hand, relational forgiveness restores fellowship with God and purifies us from our ongoing sins.

Take a few minutes and consider: Is there an action or attitude that might be blocking your connection to God right now? Are you covering over sin and trying to compensate for it instead of confessing it? Perhaps you’re serving God in a specific ministry while harboring sinful thoughts and attitudes. Maybe you’re involved in “doing good” for others but overlooking the ways you’re hurting people closest to you. If you’re trying to cover the stench of sin instead of cleaning it out, be honest with yourself and God. 

Jennifer Rothschild encourages us: “Our personal purity of heart not only honors God and gives our obedience greater significance, it can be an influence for good to all we encounter…through Christ’s grace and strength, we can maintain pure motives and pure hearts not only for our sakes, but for God’s glory and others’ protection.”2

Confession and repentance may feel difficult and even frightening at times, but Scripture tells us they bring refreshment to us: “Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.” (Acts 3:19, NIV)

Listen to “Come to the Altar” and let it prompt you to stop ignoring the sin God wants to cleanse from your life so you can enjoy close fellowship with Him again. Click here to listen.

1. Walvoord and Zuck, The Bible Knowledge Commentary, Victor Books ©1985, 1543.

2. Jennifer Rothschild, Take Courage: A Study of Haggai, Lifeway Press 2020, 156 & 159.

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Thanksgiving Bonus

Studying the prayers of people in Scripture over the past few months has shown us the importance of slowing down to thank God. In our culture, we’re prone to filling up those moments meant for pausing with way too much activity. Thanksgiving is almost here but, before you start shopping, cooking, baking, hosting, or eating, take some time to put on the brakes and do what the holiday was designed for: giving thanks. 

While I have many things that I’m thankful for this year, I want to turn my attention to just a few. Will you join me in drawing near to God and thanking Him for some of these rich blessings?

1. The Gift of God’s Faithfulness: “The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it.” (1 Thessalonians 5:24, NIV) In April of 2020, God blessed me with the opportunity to write Extraordinary Prayer. At the time I agreed to do it, I had plenty of time to write due to the COVID lockdown. However, three months later, my mom was diagnosed with cancer and put on hospice. Before I finished writing it, she went home to heaven. Words can’t express my gratefulness to God for enabling me to balance caring for my mom with writing the study and bringing it to completion. And on top of that, He’s given me tremendous joy as I’ve taught through different sessions and studied it with others this fall.

2. The Hope of Eternity with God: “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” (John 3:16-17, NIV) These verses have become so familiar that we may have lost sight of their significance. I’m thankful that God showed us mercy by sending His son to pay the price for our sins so that we can be with Him forever. It’s comforting knowing God’s plan isn’t to condemn us, but to save us. Attending to two funerals recently and having both my parents deceased makes me even more aware of how fleeting our time on earth is. I’m truly grateful that this life isn’t the end of the story.

3. The Gift of the Holy Spirit: “And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be  in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you… But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.” (John 14:16-18, 26, NIV) I’m grateful for God’s continual presence in my life through the gift of the Holy Spirit. What a comfort it is knowing I have a counselor and guide who gives me access to God’s power at all times. Although my earthly parents are now in heaven, I thank God that He doesn’t leave me as an orphan.

4. The Gift of Peace: “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” (John 14:27, NIV) In a world filled with chaos and discord, I’m grateful for peace that isn’t dependent upon circumstances. Because God is faithful and trustworthy, I can have peace that defies logic. I am confident of His goodness and know that He wants only what is good for me. So even when I don’t understand why He’s allowing hardships or difficulties, I can find peace in Him. That’s a rare gift in our world today.

5. The Gift of Christian Fellowship: “I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 1:3-6, NIV) What an incredible gift and blessing it is to walk beside others in faith. Over the past year I’ve experienced numerous hard, sad, difficult moments, but I’ve also received an abundance of love, support, and encouragement from godly friends and family. In addition to that, I’ve had the joy of serving with some incredible people who have sharpened my faith and helped me to continue growing in my walk with Jesus. God surrounded me with amazing support as I wrote Extraordinary Prayer. If you have a copy of the book, you can see many of their names written in the acknowledgements.

What fills you with gratitude right now? Don’t let the bustle of the holiday cause you to miss what it’s really all about. Take five minutes and tell God how you feel. Let Rend Collective’s “Counting Every Blessing” put words to your prayer. Click here to listen.

The GOAT Part 11: Ask, Seek, Knock

Heading into our eleventh week of THE GOAT, the Greatest Sermon of All Time, Jesus tells us to persist in pursuing God with bold prayers: 

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” (Matthew 7:7-11, NIV)

I love that Jesus invites us to pray boldly and persistently, but if I’m honest, waiting for God to act can get tiring. And sometimes the Lord’s answers look different than I expect or come more slowly than I want. Can you relate?

Author and Bible teacher Priscilla Shirer explains, “Whether God moves is a question of His sovereignty, not His ability.  What He does is His business.  Believing that He can is our business.”1 Praying expectantly is hard work when we try to do it on our own strength.  Below are a six keys I’ve learned over the years that will help you persevere:

1. Keep Your Eyes on God Instead of the Answer You Seek: It’s natural to fixate on the outcome we want. However, praising the Lord shouldn’t be dependent on our circumstances–He deserves our worship regardless. Focusing on all Jesus has done for you brings peace that isn’t dependent upon your situation or a particular answer you’re seeking.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.  (Hebrews 12:1-3, NIV)

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal. (Isaiah 26:3-4, NIV)

2. Maintain an Eternal Perspective: Sometimes we forget this world is not our permanent home. That’s why it’s helpful to take a step back and see your situation from a broader perspective when you’re feeling discouraged. As followers of Jesus, we’re just passing through here on our way to being with God forever. Take a look at the content of your prayers and ask yourself “In the light of eternity, how much does this really matter?” The answer to this question may change the focus of your requests.

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.  (2 Corinthians 4:16-18, NIV)

3. Remember that God Does Things His Way, Not Ours: It’s easy to focus so much on the outcome we want that we miss the ways God is already at work in our lives. Instead of praying for Him to perform according to our expectations, let’s remember God is sovereign and give Him room to work in the way He sees best. 

 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,”declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.“  (Isaiah 55:8-9, NIV)

4. Focus on Gratitude: When we’re praying about a specific situation, we tend to forget all the things God has done or is doing in our lives.  It builds our faith and trust in the Lord to thank Him for what He’s already done. We can even thank God for how He is working behind the scenes while we wait.  In all circumstances, there is something for which we can thank God.

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, NIV)

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. (Philippians 4:6, NIV)

5. Pray for Strength and Confidence as You Wait: It’s ok to be honest in prayer and admit that we’re struggling or weary. Instead of giving up, ask the Lord to restore your strength, confidence, and hope in Him. Beyond this, we can pray He’ll show us what He wants us to learn while we wait. 

I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. (Psalm 27:13-14, NIV)

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  See if there is any offensive way in me,and lead me in the way everlasting. (Psalm 139:23-4, NIV)

6. Let Others Encourage You: It’s easier to wait when we have company. Ask a trusted friend to pray with you. Inviting others to join us in prayer keeps us from getting bitter and helps us to stay hopeful.

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. (Hebrews 10:23-25, NIV)

See to it, brothers and sisters, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. We have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original conviction firmly to the very end. (Hebrews 3:12-14, NIV)

Which one of these keys would benefit you most right now? Is there someone else you know that could be encouraged by this post? How about sharing it? And if you’re looking for a place to get plugged in, I’ll be studying my new book Extraordinary Prayer with women at CPC Danville this fall. I’d love to see you there. Click here for more information.

Need some encouragement as you wait? Let Lauren Daigle’s song “Trust in You” help you regain your focus. Click here to watch.

1. Faithful, Abundant, True Bible Study, by Kay Arthur, Beth Moore, Priscilla Shirer & Lori Looney, Lifeway Press, 2010, (p.94). 

This post complements Tyler Scott’s sermon “The GOAT Part 11” at CPC Danville. Click here to view.

Craving Koinonia

CPC Student Ministries Houseboat Trip at Lake Shasta, Summer 2019

Holding my breath, I stepped out on the front porch and scurried to pick up the newspaper on my driveway. I didn’t exhale until I was back inside and had closed the door behind me. Thick smoke hung in the air from wildfires raging throughout the Bay Area. It felt like we were in an impossible situation: Going outside meant breathing unhealthy air, confining ourselves indoors meant being cut off from other people to avoid exposure to COVID-19. 

It was hard not to feel stir crazy that week. What I missed most was just being around people. In fact, that’s what’s been hardest about the many restrictions we’ve had in the last 6 months due to the pandemic. When my husband and I finally connected with our small group for an outdoor gathering after the smoke dissipated, I realized what we’ve been truly missing: Fellowship.

Although it’s not a very widely used term, fellowship is something we especially enjoy as followers of Jesus. It comes from the Greek word “koinonia” and encompasses both a spiritual and a practical component. In essence, when we are walking with God and attuned to His Spirit, we connect with others who are doing the same, whether we’ve known them for years or are meeting them for the first time. I’ve experienced this close, spiritual sense of community at small group, Bible study, and church services, as well as on mission and youth trips. Any time people gather with Jesus at the center, they discover the benefit and blessing of Christian fellowship.

We have the privilege of experiencing this dynamic when we commit to studying God’s Word with others. Gathering with believers to seek Jesus and to apply the Bible to our lives bonds us to one another. It also allows us to have rich, deep conversations. After walking with Jesus for many years, I’ve learned it doesn’t take long for the Holy Spirit living in me to recognize Himself in someone else I meet, no matter where I am. True fellowship flows naturally when people connected with God engage with one another. Koinonia doesn’t just involve being in the presence of other believers–it’s about connecting to enjoy your mutual love for Jesus. 

Here’s a glimpse from Scripture of what fellowship looked like in the early church:

“All the believers devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, and to fellowship, and to sharing in meals (including the Lord’s Supper), and to prayer.  A deep sense of awe came over them all, and the apostles performed many miraculous signs and wonders. And all the believers met together in one place and shared everything they had.  They sold their property and possessions and shared the money with those in need. They worshiped together at the Temple each day, met in homes for the Lord’s Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity—all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people. And each day the Lord added to their fellowship those who were being saved. (Acts 2:43-47, NLT)

One of my favorite aspects of this description is in the last verse–the Lord was adding to their fellowship daily those who were being saved. It wasn’t a clique or a closed system. The fellowship wasn’t for insiders or only those who already believed. This reminds me that true Christian community always has room to welcome newcomers and seekers of truth.

After being “fellowship starved” for the last six months, I’m ready to dive back into Bible study with a group this fall. It’s going to be a bit different meeting outside or on Zoom, but it’s worth it. I hope you’re not going to let COVID hold you back from doing the same. Get your fellowship tank filled by engaging with godly, gracious people on a consistent basis.

Prioritize koinonia in your weekly schedule and watch how it encourages your faith and enriches your life. I can’t say it any better than Scripture: “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:24-25, NIV)

If you haven’t found a place to plug in yet this fall, consider checking out these opportunities starting up this week at CPC Danville. Click here to view the many options available.

Let Sidewalk Prophets’ song “Come to the Table” inspire you to pursue consistent fellowship this fall.

Stopping the Spiral of Isolation

Not long ago I found myself consumed with negative thoughts after a series of text messages. Hurt feelings led me to make some cynical assumptions and harsh judgements. I’d let my joy be stolen by making unhealthy and unfair comparisons. Within a few hours, the negativity felt like a weighty anchor pulling me underwater in a sea of self-pity. After floundering there for a while, I realized I needed a friend to throw me a lifeline. 

Pulling out my phone, I dashed off a quick text asking for prayer. My friend was quick to respond and even offered to meet me in person to process my feelings more. At first, I was hesitant, knowing that an in-person encounter meant I’d have to delve deeper than the few lines I’d spewed out on my phone. It didn’t take long to realize that I needed to stop isolating and get the tangle of thoughts out of my head. I needed an outsider perspective to understand why I’d spiraled to such a negative place.

Sitting in my friend’s backyard later that day, I realized the root issue wasn’t that I’d been wronged, but that I’d fallen into some sinful thought patterns. Humbled, I realized my hurt feelings were based on envy and resentment. I’d wanted to complain and have her make me feel better, instead I saw that my reaction to the texts was sinful and my thinking was faulty. What I needed to do was confess, repent, and move on from my wallowing. Connecting with my friend and processing my thoughts aloud enabled me to stop the downward spiral.

Ironically, this situation unfolded the same week I was studying the fourth enemy of our minds. In case you missed my last three posts, I’ve been working through Jennie Allen’s Get Out of Your Head: A Study in Philippians. The book identifies the primary enemies of our minds and the weapons God gives us to fight them. It’s been powerful using these tools to stop my downward spirals and toxic thoughts. So far, we’ve covered three of the six enemies of our minds: self-importance, noise, and cynicism. We learned how to fight them with humility, silence, and delight. (Check out my last three posts if you haven’t read them yet.) The fourth enemy of our minds is isolation and the weapon we need to fight it is connection.

Jennie Allen explains, “We find ourselves in a generation that has made an idol out of the very thing God is calling us away from: independence. But often when we back away from others, it’s because we’re listening to lies about our worth…We weren’t meant to be alone in the dark. Being known turns on the light. And that scares the devil. He doesn’t want us in the light because when we stay in the dark with him, he can tell us whatever he wants. No more. Use the weapon of connection, and fight with light.”

The apostle Paul models the importance of connection throughout the book of Philippians. During a two-year house arrest in Rome, he wrote this letter to the beloved people of the church he’d founded on his second missionary journey recorded in Acts 16. Let’s see what inspiration we can draw from his examples:

Connection Through Prayer: “I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now.” (Phil 1:3-5) Paul’s ongoing prayers for the believers in Philippi kept his heart connected to theirs. In the same way, when we pray with and for others it keeps us tied to them and gives us tender feelings for them.

Connection Through Shared Goals: “And because of my chains, most of the brothers and sisters have become confident in the Lord and dare all the more to proclaim the gospel without fear.” (Phil 1:14) Paul’s imprisonment motivated fellow believers to continue the work he’d started. Their mutual passion to share the good news of Jesus created a deep bond between them. In the same way, we connect with others through having mutual motivations and goals rooted in Jesus.

Connection Through Caring for Others: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” (Phil 2:3-4) Looking beyond ourselves to care for the needs of others creates powerful connection points and authentic relationships.

Connection Through Serving with Others: “For everyone looks out for their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ. But you know that Timothy has proved himself, because as a son with his father he has served with me in the work of the gospel.” (Phil 2:21-22) Timothy and Paul labored for the sake of the gospel together. Doing this bonded them like a father and son. Serving with others is a powerful way to make meaningful and lasting connections.

Connection Through Allowing Others to Serve You: “But I think it is necessary to send back to you Epaphroditus, my brother, co-worker and fellow soldier, who is also your messenger, whom you sent to take care of my needs.”  (Phil 2:25) The Philippians sent Epaphroditus to care for Paul while he was imprisoned. Paul’s willingness to allow Epaphroditus to do this created a lasting bond between them. It also strengthened Paul’s connection to the believers who had sent Epaphroditus to help him in his time of need.

Connection Through Shared Struggles: “I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death.” (Phil 3:10) Paul wanted to experience suffering to identify with Jesus. When we journey through suffering with others and the Lord, it connects us to them in deep, lasting ways.

Connection Through Shared Hope: “But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.” (Phil 3:20-21) Sharing the same hope for the future connects us to other believers and enables us to encourage one another, especially in difficult times.

Connection Through Tangible Support: “Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles. Moreover, as you Philippians know, in the early days of your acquaintance with the gospel, when I set out from Macedonia, not one church shared with me in the matter of giving and receiving, except you only; for even when I was in Thessalonica, you sent me aid more than once when I was in need.” (Phil 4:14-16) Meeting the tangible needs of others connects us to God’s greater purposes and helps us to participate in building His kingdom on earth. When we support missions and ministries beyond our community, it helps us to connect with His people throughout the world.

Connecting to others is a powerful weapon to stop the downward spiral caused by isolation. What’s one area mentioned above you’ll pray and ask God to expand in your life in the months ahead?

The first time I heard OneRepublic’s song “Connection” the lyrics struck me as being the anthem for our culture today. It paints a picture of how many people in our world are hungry for meaningful connection. If you enjoy fellowship with Jesus, let Him use you to share it with others.

Jennie Allen, Get Out of Your Head: A Study in Philippians, Thomas Nelson Press, 2020, pages 86 & 87.

All Scripture quoted from the New International Version.